Identity Thief Review

Rated R (Sexual Content and Language)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 52 Minutes

Cast-

Jason Bateman-Sandy Bigelow Patterson

Melissa McCarthy-Diana

Amanda Peet-Trish Patterson

Robert Patrick-Skiptracer

Genesis Rodríguez-Marisol

Clifford Joseph Harris, Jr./T.I.-Julian

Morris Chestnut-Detective Reilly

John Cho-Daniel Casey

Eric Stonestreet-Big Chuck

Mary-Charles Jones-Franny Patterson

Maggie Elizabeth Jones-Jessie Patterson

Jonathan Banks-Paolo

Directed by Seth Gordon

"This woman destroyed my personal and financial life but I don't blame her because she had a terrible childhood." Uh-huh, I would still put her away.

Note: At UA Court Street Stadium 12.

Having your identity stolen is no laughing matter—it's a serious offense that has left many victims in a state of personal and financial ruin. These people can't even perform a simple act like renting an apartment or buying a car because their credit history has been irreparably damaged. Making matters worse is when the thief commits a crime in the victim's name, resulting in a criminal record that's almost impossible to get expunged. Identity theft destroys lives but Hollywood seems to believe that it's all fun and games in director Seth Gordon's latest R-rated comedy, "Identity Thief," starring Jason Bateman and Melissa McCarthy. Ever since her scene-stealing role as Megan in Paul Feig's 2011 comedy "Bridesmaids" (for which she was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress), McCarthy has been enjoying a new level of fame, both on television and in film. Unfortunately, McCarthy and Bateman's comedic talents are completely wasted in "Identity Thief," as the film features not one single laugh-worthy moment in its entire two-hour running time but even worse is the fact it forces the audience to sympathize with a woman who lies, cheats, and steals to get her way. 

Sandy Bigelow Patterson (Jason Bateman) is a mild-mannered, play-by-the-rules family man who works at a high-profile financial firm in Denver, Colorado. Trapped in a dead-end job as an accounts processor, Sandy gets his big-break when a group of disgruntled co-workers led by Daniel Casey (John Cho) reveal that they are quitting their jobs to form their own firm. They ask him to join them, offering Sandy the coveted position of vice president. Enticed by the promise of a higher salary, he readily agrees but his happiness proves to be short-lived when he learns that his identity has been stolen by a woman named Diana (Melissa McCarthy) living in Winter Park, Florida. With the local police tied up in jurisdictional bureaucracy, Sandy decides to take matters into his own hands and drives down to Florida in the hopes of convincing the scam artist to face the music. When the two finally meet, Diana punches Sandy in the throat and tries to escape but she is forced to team-up with him when she finds herself pursued by a wild bounty hunter (Robert Patrick) and two gun-toting assassins (Genesis Rodríguez and T.I.). 

"Identity Thief" is by far one of the worst comedies I have ever seen. The script from Craig Mazin and Jerry Eeten follows the buddy road trip formula to the letter, resulting in an uninspired and predictable film that is twenty minutes too long but what's worse is that there is not one scene that can be called funny. To sit through a two-hour 'comedy' that offers absolutely no laughs makes for a painful viewing experience. Besides its lazy story-telling, one of the more glaring problems is that there are too many characters. Was it necessary to include Robert Patrick's bounty hunter and the two assassins played by Genesis Rodríguez and T.I.? Not only does their presence seem incongruous but they feel like they belong in an entirely different film altogether—or as ScreenRant's Kofi Outlaw puts it, 'like somebody forcibly wedged a slice of urban crime drama into a white bread comedy.' However, that's small potatoes compared to the wildly veering tone. Seth Gordon accurately depicts how scary it is to have your identity stolen as Sandy's life starts to crumble all around him. He's angry and rightfully so. Then the film has the gall to ask its audience to feel sorry for Diana. This monster of a woman financially ruins an innocent man and almost gets him fired from his new job but it's all okay because despite her obvious sociopathic behavior, deep down she just wants to be loved. See, "Identity Thief" exhibits a double-standard. At one point, Sandy and Diana stop at a restaurant in Georgia and in order to get a free meal, Diana tells the waitress a sob story that paints Sandy in a bad light…to put it mildly. Later, Sandy openly insults her in front of a hotel clerk, which offends Diana! It's reprehensible to see this woman pathologically lie to get what she wants and then excuse it by shoehorning a 'heartbreaking' story of abandonment. She even wrangles Sandy into committing credit card fraud, as long as the victim is someone 'who deserves it.' It really makes me wonder if anyone actually read the script given the cavalier way the film treats its subject matter. 

Jason Bateman and Melissa McCarthy are two very talented comedians but they deserve better than "Identity Thief." I'll admit that pairing the two was a stroke of genius as they do make for an appealing 'odd couple,' with Bateman once again bringing a charming wit as the straight man while McCarthy bounces all sorts of verbal and physical comedy off her co-star like a human ping-pong ball. It's just a shame that McCarthy's earnest commitment to her role is not matched by the film's quality. The rest of the supporting cast fails to leave much of an impression. Robert Patrick, Genesis Rodríguez, and T.I. bring a level of menace that never fits in with the film's already-conflicted tone while Amanda Peet, John Cho, and Morris Chestnut are reduced to playing generic roles for a paycheck. The only actor that almost garner's a chuckle is Eric Stonestreet from ABC's "Modern Family." His cameo is arguably the only highpoint in the film but it's marred by another forced attempt at sympathy. 

Released on February 8, 2013, "Identity Thief" has received overwhelmingly negative reviews with 24% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics noted that what little laughs in the film can be 'attributable to Melissa McCarthy and Jason Bateman, who labor mightily to create a framework for [it's] undisciplined plotline.' Like clockwork, audiences flocked to the theater to the tune of $34.6 million, paying no heed to its atrocious reviews. Of course, they all ate it up and it's pathetic to see films like this get rewarded. The list of worst films of 2013 continues to grow as "Identity Thief" is an absolute failure of a comedy, offering virtually no laughs and excusing the despicable behavior of a criminal by resorting to an offensive, schmaltzy back-story. Jason Bateman and Melissa McCarthy are not at fault here and hopefully they can bounce back with a project more worthy of their talents.

Final Rating: 1.5 out of 5

"Look at her. That number right there's her height. She's like a Hobbit. I can handle her. I'm going after Bilbo."