The Guilt Trip Review

Rated PG-13 (Language and Some Risqué Material)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 35 Minutes

Cast-

Seth Rogen-Andrew 'Andy' Brewster

Barbra Streisand-Joyce Brewster

Yvonne Strahovski-Jessica

Colin Hanks-Rob

Brett Cullen-Ben

Adam Scott-Andrew Margolis Jr.

Casey Wilson-Amanda

Nora Dunn-Gayle

Directed by Anne Fletcher

Seth Rogen and Barbra Streisand star in Anne Fletcher's latest film, "The Guilt Trip."

Mothers make it a habit of smothering their children with love; that's what makes them mothers! Since my mom was always working, much of that smothering came from my grandmother, whose insistence on accompanying me to school every morning persisted until I was age fourteen due to some irrational fear that I might get kidnapped. Yea, like anyone is going to kidnap a ninety-pound Chinese kid. The idea of an overbearing mother forms the basic premise of "The Guilt Trip" from director Anne Fletcher. Despite its mixed reviews (43% on Rotten Tomatoes), I enjoyed her previous film, 2009's "The Proposal," thanks to the fun chemistry between Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. Unfortunately, Fletcher's body of work, which includes the original "Step Up," does not inspire much confidence as none of her films have managed to break out of the 40% range. I don't imagine her latest film will do much to buck that trend. "The Guilt Trip" may offer a relatable premise and some endearing moments but fails to make much of an impression with its formulaic and predictable story, not to mention that Barbra Streisand's character just gets shriller and more annoying as the film wears on. 

Andrew 'Andy' Brewster (Seth Rogen), a graduate of the University of California in Los Angeles, has invented a revolutionary organic cleaning solution called 'ScieoClean' (I bet writer Dan Fogelman thought he was real clever when he made that up) that is composed of coconuts, palm oil, and soy beans. Unfortunately, he's had little success with selling the product to various marketing outlets. Visiting his overbearing mother Joyce (Barbra Streisand) in New Jersey, Andy learns that before she married his father, she was passionately in love with another man named Andrew Margolis. Joyce's feelings were so strong that she even named her son after him. Andy prepares for a 3000-mile, cross-country road trip where he will try and sell his product to a number of big chain stores like Costco. He decides to invite his mother along for the ride, which she enthusiastically accepts believing it's a chance to bond with her only son but unbeknownst to her, Andy is actually planning to reunite Joyce with Margolis, who now resides in San Francisco. 

Although I can relate to having a mother who frets and worries, it doesn't change the fact that "The Guilt Trip" is a thoroughly predictable affair, with many of its plot points already telegraphed well in advance in the trailer. Dan Fogelman's script feels as if it was written by a committee as it makes no effort to deviate from the road trip formula, pitting two mismatched personalities (a mother and her son) in the hopes of garnering some laughs. I'll admit that it's a somewhat novel premise but the problem is that it's simply not funny…at all. Joyce is meant to be endearing but instead comes off as loud and obnoxious, frequently prying into Andy's life when it's not her business. When you embarrass your son in front of his ex-girlfriend with a barrage of questions, it's a no-brainer that he'll choose to bottle up his feelings. The two get into a number of outlandish situations during their trip which includes a visit to a seedy strip club (Joyce misreads 'topless' as 'tapas') where the only joke that Fogelman can come up with involves a purple penis. Later in the film, Joyce enters a steak-eating contest to get a free meal and as ridiculous as it sounds, it's one of the few moments where I felt Andy and his mother were truly bonding. The central drama revolves around Joyce's belief that her son does not want to spend time with her but when he's willing to put up with her crazy behavior for eight straight days just to reunite her with someone that made her happy at one point, isn't that proof of a son's love? Instead, Joyce reacts with anger and views it as an attempt to get rid of her. Of course, all is resolved by the end (that's not even a spoiler) with a trite happy ending that ties everything up in a neat little bow. That's really "The Guilt Trip" in a nutshell: it's all just one giant ball of cliché. 

Seth Rogen is cast against type, leaving his slacker self behind and exhibits a boyish charm as Andy Brewster. It's not a role that requires any heavy-lifting but he handles it well, sharing a great rapport with Barbra Streisand despite her character's grating behavior. Streisand is little more than a caricature as she runs around the film like a hyperactive child hopped up on sugar. It's shocking to see a singer of her caliber reduced to starring in tripe like this. Then again, she was also in "Little Fockers" so why am I surprised? The rest of the supporting cast, which includes Yvonne Strahovski, Colin Hanks, Adam Scott, and Brett Cullen, add nothing to the film. Each of them pop in for a glorified cameo and pick up their paychecks in what amounts to a day's work. 

To be released on December 19, 2012, there are currently no reviews for "The Guilt Trip" but it'll most likely top out at around 40% on Rotten Tomatoes going by Fletcher's previous films. The audience at the advance screening on Sunday enjoyed the film and laughed at every joke as if on cue. Again, this shouldn't be a real surprise to anyone. There was also a live streaming question-and-answer session with Rogan and Streisand but I didn't even bother staying. I didn't outright hate "The Guilt Trip;" it has its heart in the right place but the film is just so bland and forgettable. This is nothing more than a generic, feel-good holiday movie that Hollywood sees fit to dump into theaters year after year.

Final Rating: 2 out of 5

"My penis could literally grow an eyeball and I wouldn't tell you!" (The only funny line in the entire film)

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Taken 2 Review

Rated PG-13 (Intense Sequences of Violence and Action, and Some Sensuality)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 32 Minutes

Cast-

Liam Neeson-Bryan Mills

Famke Janssen-Lenore

Maggie Grace-Kim Mills

Rade Šerbedžija-Murad Krasniqi

Leland Orser-Sam

Jon Gries-Casey

D.B. Sweeney-Bernie

Luke Grimes-Jamie

Kevork Malikyan-Inspector Durmaz

Alain Figlarz-Suko

Directed by Olivier Megaton

You don't interrupt Liam Neeson when he's on the phone, or he will find you and kill you!

'I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.' At age 56 (now 60), who knew that Liam Neeson, an Academy Award-nominated actor, would have the chops to be a bona fide action star? Written and produced by Luc Besson, Pierre Morel's "Taken" was first released in France in February 2008 and didn't arrive in North American theaters until a year later in January, the month where movies go to die. However, the film proved to be a surprise hit despite mixed reviews (58% on Rotten Tomatoes) and racked up an impressive $226.8 million worldwide, almost ten times its $25 million production budget. It also marked a major turning point in Neeson's career, redefining the actor as a successful action star, which he's been keen to take advantage of by following up on his newfound status with films like "Unknown" and "The Grey." Money talks in Hollywood and seeing the potential for a new cash cow, 20th Century Fox announced a sequel in November 2010, once again with Besson writing the script with Robert Mark Kamen and churned out by his factory-like production company, EuropaCorp. While it's always nice to see Liam Neeson in badass mode, the lazily titled "Taken 2" is nothing more than a cynical cash-grab that is content with rehashing the original film. 

In Tropojë, the leader of the Albanian Mafia, Murad Krasniqi (Rade Šerbedžija), mourns the loss of his son Marko, who was electrocuted to death by former CIA agent Bryan Mills (Liam Neeson) while searching for his kidnapped daughter Kim (Maggie Grace) in Paris, France. The relatives of all the men Bryan killed gather with Murad, vowing to avenge the deaths of their loved ones. Back in Los Angeles, Bryan continues to keep a close eye on his daughter, who is currently late for her daily driving lesson. He learns from his ex-wife Lenore (Famke Janssen) that Kim is at her boyfriend's house and he easily tracks her down using the GPS device secretly installed on her phone. Kim is less-than thrilled of her father's still-overprotective behavior. The next day, Bryan visits Lenore again, only to find her in tears. Her husband Stuart had cancelled their trip to China over an argument and feeling sympathetic, Bryan suggests that she and Kim come join him in Istanbul, Turkey after he wraps up a high-paying security job. He initially believes that they had not taken up on his offer but is surprised to see that they had indeed flown out to see him. Meanwhile, Murad and his gang of thugs learn that Bryan is in Istanbul. While spending time with Lenore, Bryan senses danger and orders her to go back to his hotel room but both end up getting kidnapped. Enlisting the help of Kim, Bryan must once again put his skills to use and do what he does best—kill the men who are after him. 

The only reason that "Taken 2" exists is because the original was a box office success. As proof of its laziness, writers Luc Besson and Robert Mark Kamen simply took the script of the previous film and replaced Bryan's daughter with his wife. It's painful to see a respected actor like Liam Neeson sink to such lows and recite some of the worst dialogue in recent memory. Part of the problem is the fact that the film takes an inordinate amount of time to set everything up and by the time it's done, there's only thirty minutes left before the end credits. "Taken 2" simply begins and ends since the entire second act is virtually missing. Not doing the paper-thin story any favors is its complete absence of logic, where Bryan seemingly possesses some sort of Spider-Sense as he is able to locate Murad's men by memorizing the sounds of the route they took…while blind-folded. Making Bryan into a superhuman ex-spy undermines the suspense as it never feels like he or his family is in any danger. In the film's most ridiculous moment, he has his daughter throw hand grenades in order to determine his location by timing how long it takes for the sound to reach him. First off, no one's hearing is that good and second, you're throwing grenades out in the open and yet the good citizens of Istanbul are completely oblivious that a car just exploded. 

Replacing director Pierre Morel is Olivier Megaton (whose previous work was 2011's "Colombiana," which was just as terrible) and he continues to show his incompetence by turning the film's biggest selling point—the action—into a complete, indecipherable mess. The fight scenes are encumbered by shaky cam and choppy editing. Each shot lasts no more than a second and all you see is just a blur of fists coupled with some sound effects. There's also a complete lack of energy, as if Megaton was falling asleep at the wheel. A perfunctory car chase is thrown in but watching Bryan repeatedly shout at his daughter to drive faster is unintentionally hilarious. It ends with them crashing into the U.S. Embassy and apparently one call to the CIA makes it all better. Then again, destroying public property in foreign countries is what America is famous for. Due to the PG-13 rating, all the violence has been diluted. At times, it looks like Bryan is killing his opponents simply by raking his hand over their faces due to the poor angles chosen. The inept script would've been somewhat forgivable if Besson had kept Morel or hired someone who wasn't a hack but alas, he picked Megaton. You have to wonder if he was even thinking! 

Liam Neeson is a brilliant actor and seeing him in badass mode was one of the real treats in the original "Taken." However, he looks completely disinterested here as he goes through the motions and yet he remains watchable despite the train wreck he's in. The sequel does add a slight wrinkle by pairing Bryan with Kim as they escape from Murad's endless supply of mindless thugs and Maggie Grace handles the action well enough. The actress is clearly too old to be playing a teenager (she's now 29) so some of the story elements, such as her learning how to drive, don't entirely make sense (nothing does). Famke Janssen essentially replaces Grace's role in the previous film and is little more than a MacGuffin. Rade Šerbedžija is effective as the villain but his final confrontation with Bryan is a letdown. To stop Bryan, he sends an Albanian bruiser who wears a tacky track suit that does his pronounced beer gut no favors. Not exactly a smart move. 

Released on October 5, 2012, "Taken 2" has received largely negative reviews with 21% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics found it 'bereft of the kinetic thrills—and surprises—that made the original a hit.' Of course, that didn't stop audiences from flocking to theaters, with the film earning $49.5 million during its opening weekend.  It has already grossed $348.3 million worldwide on an increased production budget of $45 million, all but assuring a "Taken 3" in the future, possibly even more. The people that enjoy this do not care for story or proper editing or all the other elements that make up a good film and are content with being fed sloppy seconds. Six weeks after release, it's still in the top five at the box office! I hate to do this to Liam Neeson but "Taken 2" is an awful mess, a soulless, derivative sequel that solely exists to take money from moviegoers who simply don't know any better.

Final Rating: 1.5 out of 5

Bryan Mills: If I kill you, your other sons will come and seek revenge?

Murad Krasniqi: They will...

Bryan Mills: And I will kill them too.

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Silent Hill: Revelation 3D Review

Rated R (Violence and Disturbing Images, Some Language and Brief Nudity)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 34 Minutes

Cast-

Adelaide Clemens-Heather Mason/Sharon Da Silva/Dark Alessa

Kit Harington-Vincent Cooper

Sean Bean-Harry Mason/Christopher Da Silva

Carrie-Anne Moss-Claudia Wolf

Malcolm McDowell-Leonard Wolf

Martin Donovan-Douglas Cartland

Deborah Kara Unger-Dahlia Gillespie

Radha Mitchell-Rose Da Silva

Erin Pitt-Young Sharon Da Silva/Alessa Gillespie

Heather Marks-Suki

Peter Outerbridge-Travis Grady

Roberto Campanella-Pyramid Head

Directed by Michael J. Bassett

Not even Adelaide Clemens' cute looks can save the mess that is "Silent Hill: Revelation."

You should always strike while the iron is hot when it comes to sequels. Although largely panned by critics when it was released in 2006, Christophe Gans' "Silent Hill," based on the survival horror series of the same name published by Konami, is one of the few film adaptations of a video game that's actually good thanks to its macabre visuals and atmosphere. However, that's not exactly high praise given how low the bar is set for such films. A sequel was always intended but production stalled when Gans suddenly pulled out in order to focus on his own projects and writer Roger Avary was sent to jail for vehicular manslaughter. "Solomon Kane" director Michael J. Bassett was eventually chosen to replace Gans and Avary. Six years later, "Silent Hill: Revelation" finally arrives in theaters with little to no fanfare. Such a gap is an eternity for the horror genre since audiences aren't known to have the longest of attention spans. Given how faithful the original film was to the source material, I was genuinely excited to see this long-belated sequel and Bassett's enthusiasm at New York Comic Con seemed to promise a worthy follow-up. How wrong I was. Bassett manages to create some creepy and bizarre visuals despite the reduced production budget but "Silent Hill: Revelation" is ultimately a disappointing sequel, undone by its weak characters and sloppy storytelling. 

Nine years ago, Rose Da Silva (Radha Mitchell) took her adopted daughter Sharon (Erin Pitt) to Silent Hill but the two became trapped in the fog-shrouded, reality-shifting ghost town after defeating the religiously fanatical cult that resides there. She manages to contact her husband Christopher (Sean Bean) through a mirror and sends Sharon back to the real world using a special amulet known as the Seal of Metatron. Led by Claudia Wolf (Carrie-Anne Moss), the Order of Valtiel sends its members to find and bring Sharon back to Silent Hill, forcing Christopher and his daughter (who has no memory of the town) to adopt new aliases and go on the run. An eighteen-year-old Sharon, now known as Heather Mason (Adelaide Clemens), suffers from reoccurring nightmares where she is burned alive by Dark Alessa. Her father, going under the name of Harry, reassures her that they are just dreams that will pass in time and reminds her to be careful when she leaves for school. During class, she meets fellow new student Vincent Cooper (Kit Harington), who is immediately smitten with her despite her insistence that she is not interested in making new friends due to being constantly on the move. After school, Heather runs into a private investigator named Douglas Cartland (Martin Donovan), who warns her that the cult knows where she is because he told them. She rushes home to find the house ransacked, her father missing, and a bloody message telling her to come to Silent Hill. Enlisting Vincent's aid, Heather returns to the damned ghost town not just to save her father, but herself as well. 

For some strange reason, horror films love to use the subtitle "Revelation," even when said film doesn't actually have anything to reveal. "Silent Hill: Revelation" is a loose adaptation of Konami's Silent Hill 3, with several details from the game altered to fit into the continuity of the previous film. Unfortunately, the numerous retcons enacted by writer/director Michael J. Bassett results in a completely nonsensical story chock full of plot holes. Apparently, anyone can just up and leave Silent Hill, which begs the question: why doesn't the cult just leave instead of having their ranks slowly thinned out by the town's hellish denizens. Much of the dialogue is meaningless, consisting of long scenes of exposition explaining the purposes of the Seal of Metatron and the Order of Valtiel, which will leave audiences unfamiliar with the games baffled. Bassett believes that by throwing as many references to the games as much as possible, he's being faithful to the source material but Silent Hill has always been about characters confronting their own sins. However, the characters in the film lack any sort of personality and it soon descends into a melodramatic soap opera once Vincent declares that he loves Heather, even though they've only known each other for a day. While there are some interesting visuals, the reduced production budget clearly shows as much of what happens in the film takes place in cramped corridors with minimal lighting. The monsters that the games are famous for are reverently recreated but they appear only to provide some cheap thrills rather than serve as symbols of a guilty conscious. Gans' expertly crafted atmosphere from the original film is entirely absent here, although there are some memorable moments such as a disturbing hallucination of children feasting on flesh and a deadly confrontation with a group of Nurses, who moan in a sexual manner as they slash at their victims. "Silent Hill" ended in a fountain of blood and barbed wire; "Revelation" ends with a lame battle between Pyramid Head and a "Hellraiser"-reject known as the Missionary. At every turn, "Silent Hill: Revelation" fails to muster up any excitement or scares and it's a damn shame because Bassett clearly knows what makes a creepy visual. With a bigger budget and an extensive script polish, it could've been at least enjoyable but instead it's just another bad adaptation of a beloved video game. As for the 3D, it's competent if gimmicky—with severed fingers flying at the screen but the effect is at its best when Heather encounters a spider-like entity known as the Mannequin, the only CG monster in the film. Despite shooting in native 3D using the RED Epic camera, dialogue scenes are essentially 2D yet the environments has enough depth to them so that the effect doesn't feel wasted. Whichever version you choose, it won't exactly make or break the experience but I'd suggest avoiding the film altogether. 

The performances fail to engage and can be shockingly bad at times. Adelaide Clemens (who is a dead ringer for Michelle Williams) fares the best as Heather Mason, even if her character tends to devolve into a screaming mess. Sean Bean is likable while Kit Harington looks completely disinterested. Why he even bothered to sign on even though he stars in a critically-acclaimed television series is head-scratching. Carrie-Ann Moss and Malcolm McDowell are just god-awful, more laughable than intimidating. Old faces like Radha Mitchell and Deborah Kara Unger also pop up in what amounts to glorified cameos, adding little to what is already a terrible film. 

Released on October 26, 2012, "Silent Hill: Revelation" has received overwhelmingly negative reviews with a 5% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics derided the film as 'a mediocre effort even by the standards of video game adaptations.' Given the decreased relevancy of the games, "Revelation" flopped at the box office, debuting in fifth place with $8 million and effectively killing off any chance of a third "Silent Hill" film. Christophe Gans' adaptation wasn't remarkable from a film perspective but it served as proof that you can make a good film from a video game. "Silent Hill: Revelation" destroys all that goodwill and is a mess from start to finish. Great films can be made from comic books but video games are still treated like second-class citizens thanks to schlock like this.

Final Rating: 2 out of 5

"You should never have come back because now you have given the order that they could never have. Are we to destroy Alessa and you?"

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Paranormal Activity 4 Review

Rated R (Language and Some Violence/Terror)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 28 Minutes

Cast-

Katie Featherston-Katie

Kathryn Newton-Alex

Matt Shively-Ben

Alexondra Lee-Holly

Stephen Dunham-Doug

Aiden Lovekamp-Wyatt

Brady Allen-Robbie

Sprague Grayden-Kristi

Brian Boland-Daniel

Directed by Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman

Even pretty girls aren't safe in "Paranormal Activity 4," easily the weakest entry in the series so far.

Another year, another "Paranormal Activity." Released back in 2009, the original "Paranormal Activity" took critics and audiences by surprise, racking up $193.3 million worldwide and receiving positive reviews with a solid 82% on Rotten Tomatoes. Using unknown actors, director Oren Peli shot the film over a one-week period on a measly production budget of $15,000, making it the most profitable film ever made based on return on investment (Paramount Pictures acquired the rights for only $350,000). What made it such a success was its slow-burn atmosphere that perfectly captured our primal fear of the unknown. This wasn't the first found-footage film made but never has the approach been utilized in such an innovative manner. A sequel was quickly announced but 2010's "Paranormal Activity 2" received mixed reviews (59% on Rotten Tomatoes) yet remained a box office success, replacing "Saw" as the new perennial horror franchise of October. The series showed no signs of slowing down as 2011's "Paranormal Activity 3" debuted with an impressive $52.6 million, setting a new fall record. Directors Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman return for another round of supernatural shenanigans with "Paranormal Activity 4" but it's clear that the franchise is now running on fumes, suffering from a creative malaise as this entry lacks the punch of its predecessors and fails to advance the overall mythology in any meaningful way. 

Opening with a brief recap of the events in "Paranormal Activity 2," ("Paranormal Activity 3" was a prequel) a demonically-possessed Katie (Katie Featherston) murders her older sister Kristi (Sprague Grayden) and her husband Daniel (Brian Boland). She then kidnaps their baby boy Hunter before disappearing, her whereabouts unknown. Five years later in 2011, a family living in the suburbs of Henderson, Nevada begins to experience a haunting of their own when Katie moves into the house across the street with a six-year-old boy named Robbie (Brady Allen) in tow. After Katie is suddenly taken to the hospital due to a vague illness, family matriarch Holly (Alexondra Lee) agrees to let Robbie stay with them for a few days until she recovers. Fifteen-year-old daughter Alex (Kathryn Newton) asks her boyfriend Ben (Matt Shively) to set up all the laptops in the house to record everything when she views webcam footage of Robbie coming into her room in the middle of the night and sleeping next to her. His arrival coincides with a number of strange phenomena at the house, which escalates in intensity as time goes on. Holly and her husband Doug (Stephen Dunham, who sadly passed away last month) remain unconvinced that the occurrences are related to Robbie. Meanwhile, Robbie befriends Alex's little brother Wyatt (Aiden Lovekamp), whose fate is somehow tied to Katie and the demonic entity now residing within her. 

After doing the runaround with two prequels, "Paranormal Activity 4" finally advances the story but fails to shed any new light on the mythology. While it touches upon some of the plot points introduced at the end of the previous entry, the script from Zack Estrin and Christopher B. Landon is frustratingly vague and creates even more plot holes and questions in the franchise's already-convoluted narrative. What was originally about a normal, everyday suburban couple confronting a supernatural entity has now become a mess. Estrin and Landon even resort to ripping off of other horror flicks, with the most egregious example coming from Wyatt riding around in a Big Wheel like Danny from Stanley Kubrick's "The Shining." Returning directors Joost and Schulman play it safe by sticking close to the formula of the previous entries but the two have bungled the pacing and the suspense. We're treated to scenes where literally nothing happens, with too many fake jump scares of the cat scampering across the camera. Such instances inspired guffaws from the audience, not dread. The obligatory moving doors and loud bangs are all there but their impact has been severely diminished since we already expect them. The only novelty comes from using the Xbox 360 Kinect's tracking dots (which are illuminated by night vision) to give the house's living room an eerie, otherworldly glow but it also points to the sequel's lack of any new ideas as it repeatedly falls back on this sole gimmick. This also points to a larger problem as there some serious lapses in logic that frequently break the illusion. Some of it is inherent to the found-footage subgenre but at no point does Alex use the hundreds of hours of recorded footage in an intelligent manner. She can't even remember her damn password for Pete's sake! Even more puzzling is how the hard drives of the family's various MacBooks (the product placement is really annoying) can even hold all that footage or why no one seems to turn off their electronic devices when they go to sleep. The final minutes of "Paranormal Activity 4" recall the intensity of the original but we're greeted to another non-ending that will leave audiences wondering what the heck just happened. 

One of the strengths of the series has always been its naturalism and Kathryn Newton gives a convincing performance as teenager Alex. She may be poorly written but you sympathize with her character even as her mental state deteriorates due to being caught in a bad situation with no one to turn to. Matt Shively is actually a delight as Alex's boyfriend Ben and provides some much-needed levity with his funny wisecracks. Brady Allen is suitably creepy as Robbie yet his inclusion in the story just raises more questions about who he really is. Katie Featherston also pops up but she's little more than a supporting character. Despite being a real-life couple, the interactions between Alexondra Lee and Stephen Dunham never feel entirely organic. 

"Paranormal Activity 4" was released on October 19, 2012 and has received largely negative reviews with 29% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics concluded that it 'wrings a few more screams out of the franchise's surprisingly durable premise [but] provides fans of the series with dismayingly diminishing returns.' You know there's a serious problem when the audience's reaction is laughter, which is what happened during an advance screening this past Thursday. Of course, there's no question that it'll be a box office success since the production budgets are so low. The film has already collected $15 million and while its opening weekend gross will trail the record-setting $52.6 million debut of its predecessor, it'll be enough to convince Paramount to go ahead with another sequel. "Paranormal Activity 4" is not a total disaster but it's a severely underwhelming installment that lazily rests on the laurels of what came before, stringing its fans along while laughing all the way to the bank.

Final Rating: 2 out of 5

Note: There is a post-credits scene that teases the upcoming spin-off, to be directed by Christopher Landon and made for a Latino audience.

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House at the End of the Street Review

Rated PG-13 (Intense Sequences of Violence and Terror, Thematic Elements, Language, Some Teen Partying and Brief Drug Material)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 41 Minutes

Cast-

Jennifer Lawrence-Elissa Cassidy

Max Thieriot-Ryan Jacobson

Elisabeth Shue-Sarah Cassidy

Gil Bellows-Officer Weaver

Eva Link-Carrie Anne Jacobson

Allie MacDonald-Jillian

Nolan Gerard Funk-Tyler Reynolds

Krista Bridges-Mary Jacobson

John Healy-John Jacobson

Directed by Mark Tonderai

Here she is, the best part of the film.

Sometimes it's hard to review a film that elicits little more than a shrug. That film is "House at the End of the Street" starring Max Thieriot and…Jennifer Lawrence. Now I know what you're thinking: why would a critically acclaimed actress like Lawrence appear in such a bland and generic PG-13 horror film? Well, "House at the End of the Street" was actually completed over two years ago in 2010 and at the time, Lawrence was still an unknown, forced to pay her dues by accepting any role that came her way. The release of "Winter's Bone" that same year changed everything, as Lawrence's performance as seventeen-year-old Ree Dolly earned her a Best Actress nomination at the 83rd Academy Awards in 2011, the second-youngest actress to date to be nominated for that category. Since then, Lawrence's fame has risen significantly and she cemented her newfound celebrity status by accepting the role of Katniss Everdeen in the film adaptation of Suzanne Collins' best-selling novel, "The Hunger Games." Directed by Gary Ross and released back in March, "The Hunger Games" reaped a massive $685 million worldwide, turning Lawrence into the highest-grossing action heroine of all time. Relativity Media decided to capitalize on her current popularity by delaying the release of "House at the End of the Street" to late-September 2012. Shelved for the past two years, "House at the End of the Street" is a clichéd, mediocre teen horror flick that blatantly rips off of Alfred Hitchcock…and I bet those same teens have not even heard of him. Lawrence would be wise to omit this terrible film from her résumé when pursuing future roles. 

Moving away from Chicago in an attempt to seek a fresh start, recent divorcee Sarah Cassidy (Elisabeth Shue) and her teenage daughter Elissa (Jennifer Lawrence) settle into a peaceful, upscale neighborhood in rural Pennsylvania when they find the house of their dreams for a surprisingly low rental price. The reason for this is that four years ago, in the house next door, a young girl named Carrie-Ann (Eva Link) murdered her own parents in their beds and subsequently fled into the woods. Although her body was never found, it is believed that she drowned in a nearby dam. The family is survived by their son, Ryan Jacobson (Max Thieriot), who now resides in his deceased parent's house and goes to school at the local community college. The neighbors, angry about their lowered property values, seek to demolish the Jacobson house and sell it but Ryan refuses to leave despite the local's hostile reactions toward him. While walking home one night from a high school party, Elissa encounters Ryan, who offers her a ride home. She initially refuses but is forced to take his offer when a freak thunderstorm occurs. The two are immediately taken with each other and embark on a relationship despite Sarah's suspicions. However, Ryan isn't as innocent as he looks and harbors some dark secrets, ones that put Elissa in danger as she continues to grow closer and closer to him. 

As a horror film, "House at the End of the Street" is rather old-school, focusing on character drama and suspense but the problem is that director Mark Tonderai fails spectacularly on both accounts. Based on a story by Jonathan Mostow, the script from David Loucka (who was also responsible for the disastrous "Dream House" last year) is just one tired cliché after another. The so-called 'drama' almost put me to sleep due to the weakly-written characters, which can be simplified to the rebellious teenage daughter, her exasperated mother, and the emotionally distant boy-next-door. Ryan's secret is revealed fairly early, which is a big mistake from Tonderai as any suspense he could've wrung out of the film is now gone as it devolves into a series of eye-rolling red herrings and predictable twists. Scares are often telegraphed way in advance and consist of loud noises to jolt the audience. After all these years, I still cannot wrap my head around the fact that there are directors who still do not understand the difference between being afraid and being startled. There are also some unintentionally laugh-out-loud moments as certain characters behave in an asinine manner, investigating strange noises by stepping outside the safety of their home and vulnerably standing out in the open. "House at the End of the Street" liberally borrows many of its cues from Alfred Hitchcock's 1960 seminal classic "Psycho," and that includes ripping off from its story while dumbing it down for today's teenage audience. Tonderai tries to build tension by mixing a number of filmmaking techniques but the differing styles messily clash with each other. Simple dialogue scenes suffer from an errant camera and are choppily edited together. The climax devolves into a generic cat-and-mouse game that is blatantly stolen from "The Silence of the Lambs" but by then you just don't even care anymore. 

The acting is sub-par, with Jennifer Lawrence giving a sleepy performance as rebellious teenager Elissa. Of course, it's not entirely her fault as the blame really lies with the weak script from Loucka. Male teenagers will probably get a kick out of seeing her in a tank top, which is just sad if you're willing to pay $13.00 for something you can find online. Elisabeth Shue never looks at ease as Sarah and the mother-daughter relationship with Lawrence never feels authentic. Max Thieriot's role is the most difficult to pull off and not surprisingly, he proves that he's not up to the task as he spends much of the film with a strained, constipated expression, much like Robert Pattinson in "Twilight"! Finally, there's Gil Bellows as a police officer named Weaver, who must hold the record of fastest death from a stab wound. 

Released on September 21, 2012, "House at the End of the Street" has received negative reviews with 12% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics called it 'poorly conceived, clumsily executed, and almost completely bereft of scares.' I attended an advance screening of the film last Thursday and the audience treated it like it was a comedy, which is never a good sign. Unfortunately, people still came out in droves, allowing it to turn a small profit with its $12.3 million weekend debut as the production budget was only a mere $7 million. Honestly, I'm absolutely flabbergasted but then again, I shouldn't really be surprised considering the tastes of today's teenagers. There really is nothing more that I can say except for the fact that Relativity Media should've just shelved this crap forever. "House at the End of the Street" isn't the worst film I've seen all year but it's just so lifeless. If you're not going to put in the effort into creating something remotely original, why should I even bother?

Final Rating: 2 out of 5

*None of the dialogue stands out so no quote is included.*

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Resident Evil: Retribution Review

Rated R (Sequences of Strong Violence Throughout)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 36 Minutes

Cast-

Milla Jovovich-Alice

Sienna Guillory-Jill Valentine

Michelle Rodriguez-Rain Ocampo

Li Bing-Bing-Ada Wong

Johann Urb-Leon S. Kennedy

Boris Kodjoe-Luther West

Kevin Durand-Barry Burton

Oded Fehr-Carlos Olivera

Colin Salmon-James 'One' Shade

Shawn Roberts-Albert Wesker

Aryana Engineer-Becky

Megan Charpentier/Ave Merson-O'Brian-The Red Queen

Ali Larter-Claire Redfield (archive footage only)

Wentworth Miller-Chris Redfield (archive footage only)

Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson

Milla Jovovich suits up again to kick some zombie butt for "Resident Evil Retribution," the fifth installment in this never-ending series.

Like clockwork, Activision releases a new Call of Duty video game annually every November with only the smallest of changes between new installments; only the time period in which the game takes place in changes. Despite the increasing disillusionment among gamers with the franchise, Call of Duty continues to sell millions of copies around the world and it's due to the fact that there are many people out there who only play this one game year after year. Just to put this in perspective, last year's Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 sold over 6.5 million copies across all platforms in the first 24 hours in the U.S. and U.K. alone, grossing a massive $400 million and making it the biggest entertainment launch of all time. Call of Duty is a series that will never end so long as there is money to be made. Similarly, the "Resident Evil" film franchise, based upon the video games owned and published by Capcom, continues to soldier on like the Energizer Bunny with the latest installment "Resident Evil Retribution." The series has always managed to turn a profit at the box office for Screen Gems/Sony Pictures thanks to the modest production budgets, with 2010's "Resident Evil Afterlife" earning $296 million worldwide. The previous four films have grossed $754.5 million combined. Frankly, I'm amazed that "Resident Evil" managed to even last this long and while it has always provided some cheap thrills thanks to the action scenes, the series is now way past its expiration date. Lacking any coherent plot or even worthwhile characters, "Resident Evil Retribution" offers more of the same and not much else. Those who are already fans of the films will be satisfied but for everyone else, this is just a lazy, cynical cash-grab. 

Picking up immediately after the events of "Afterlife," Alice (Milla Jovovich), Claire and Chris Redfield (Ali Larter and Wentworth Miller) are under attack by soldiers employed by the unscrupulous Umbrella Corporation, led by a mind-controlled Jill Valentine (Sienna Guillory). They storm the freighter Arcadia and during the ensuing battle, Alice is knocked unconscious into the ocean while Claire and Chris are captured. Waking up deep inside an Umbrella facility, Alice is interrogated by Jill but a sudden power failure allows her to escape. Alice finds herself in downtown Tokyo and is forced to battle with a horde of zombies. She makes her way to the facility's control room and encounters Ada Wong (Li Bing-Bing), an assassin for Umbrella who now works for Albert Wesker (Shawn Roberts). Wesker explains to Alice that she is currently trapped in an underwater facility in what was formerly Russia where Umbrella would run simulations for prospective customers who were curious in how people would react to a particular outbreak. However, the facility is now under the control of the Red Queen (voice of Ave Merson-O'Brian), an advanced artificial intelligence now hell-bent on destroying the remnants of humanity. Despite his sinister intentions, Wesker wants to help Alice escape and has a sent a small strike team, led by Leon S. Kennedy (Johann Urb), to assist her. To prevent their escape, the Red Queen sends Jill and a group of Umbrella soldiers consisting of clones of Carlos Olivera (Oded Fehr), Rain Ocampo (Michelle Rodriguez), and James 'One' Shade (Colin Salmon) to recapture Alice: dead or alive. 

Written and directed by Paul W.S. Anderson (not Paul Thomas Anderson!), "Resident Evil Retribution" has absolutely zero plot and is basically a string of repetitive action scenes. The whole affair comes off as labored because the film spends an inordinate amount of time recounting all the events of the previous installments while setting this one up, resulting in clunky scenes of exposition that buckle under the weight of all that back-story. Obvious logic gaps are peppered throughout the film, such as the fact that there's a combat suit located within a drawer in Alice's cell or the inexplicable two hour time limit before Umbrella's reinforcements arrive. You would think such an important facility would have a standing army or something but Umbrella's security measures have always been confusingly lax. Anderson even rips off of "Aliens" by throwing a deaf little girl (Aryana Engineer) who believes Alice is her mother but its inclusion just feels ham-fisted and pointless because there is no attempt at developing any of the characters. 

Structured like the video games it's based on, "Retribution" puts Alice in a massive underwater Umbrella facility that is able to produce lifelike simulations of New York City, Moscow, and Tokyo, all populated by clones. In order to escape, Alice must advance through each simulation like levels in a video game, complete with obligatory boss battles. However, Anderson just recycles the same old monsters from the previous installments. Instead of one Executioner, now there are two but both are beaten just as easily, along with an Uber-Licker that makes an appearance late in the film. The set-pieces also feel rather constrained despite its attempts to aim for a bigger scope. To appease the fans, Anderson randomly throws in a couple of characters from the video games like Ada Wong and Leon S. Kennedy but they're just dropped into the plot with little to no introduction. The action is non-stop and while Milla Jovovich looks good in her form-fitting suit, these scenes ultimately grow tedious because it's the same damn thing we've been watching for the past ten years! The only element that I can praise without reservation is the score from Tomandandy, which is reminiscent of Daft Punk's work on "Tron Legacy." "Retribution" was shot in native 3D using the cheaper Red Epic camera instead of the Sony F35 like in "Afterlife" but I opted for the 2D version. I could still tell that the 3D is nothing more than a gimmick as all manners of blood and projectiles fly out of the screen. The entire film also exhibits a cheaper vibe despite having a similar production budget as the previous one. 

Besides looking good during the numerous shootouts, none of the cast is really required to actually act. Li Bing-Bing's Ada Wong is a victim of some poor voice dubbing but Milla Jovovich continues to be a bad-ass and prove she has good genes thanks to her youthful appearance. Her 'performance' leaves much to be desired yet she's still the best out of the bunch as everyone else is reduced to shouting all their dialogue. Since Anderson can't be bothered to include at least some character development, the cast is left with very little to work with. 

Opening in 2D, 3D, and IMAX 3D, "Resident Evil Retribution" was released on September 14, 2012 to largely negative reviews (to no one's surprise) with 27% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics once again wrote if off as 'another predictable entry in the Resident Evil franchise that seems to get more cynical and lazy with each film.' Due to the slow box office, "Retribution" underwhelmed during opening weekend with only $21.05 million, down from the $26.7 million that "Afterlife" earned two years ago. It also plummeted by 77% during its second week, which means the film will barely top 2002 original but sell far fewer tickets. Audience attendance was also rather sparse during the afternoon showing I attended. If you're in the mood for some mindless action, "Resident Evil Retribution" will scratch that itch but this is a series that should've been put out to pasture long ago…but it won't so I'll see you all back here in two years for "Resident Evil 6."

Final Rating: 2 out of 5

"Everyone I've ever known, everything I've ever done, it's being used against me and now Umbrella can manipulate the world. And only I can stop them. My name is Alice and retribution is here."

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The Apparition Review

Rated PG-13 (Terror/Frightening Images and Some Sensuality)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 22 Minutes

Cast-

Ashley Greene-Kelly

Sebastian Stan-Ben

Tom Felton-Patrick

Luke Pasqualino-Greg

Julianna Guill-Lydia

Rick Gomez-Mike

Anna Clark-Maggie

Tim Williams-Office Executive

Marti Matulis-The Apparition

Directed by Todd Lincoln

Maybe you guys should call the Ghostbusters? Baseball bat isn't going to do you any good!

The month of August is home to some notoriously bad films as studios clean house before gearing up for all their possible awards contenders in the fall, although releases like 2007's "The Bourne Ultimatum" and last year's "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" have begun to buck that trend. Unfortunately, all that progress has now been thrown out the window with the arrival of late-summer horror flick "The Apparition," another cookie-cutter offering from Joel Silver's Dark Castle Entertainment starring Sebastian Stan and Ashley Greene of "Twilight" fame. The last horror film I saw was Bradley Parker and Oren Peli's "Chernobyl Diaries" back in May and despite receiving highly negative reviews with 21% on Rotten Tomatoes, it still managed to turn a small profit of $18 million (the production budget was an incredibly low $1 million). In a summer dominated by big-budget blockbusters like "The Avengers" and "The Dark Knight Rises," I honestly was looking forward to seeing "The Apparition" just for some cheap genre thrills but it can't even meet these modest expectations. Clichéd, devoid of any scares, and featuring one of the dullest on-screen couples I've ever seen, "The Apparition" is so ineptly put together by first time director Todd Lincoln that you have to wonder if he's just incompetent or plain lazy. What's even more disheartening is the fact that people will actually pay to see this garbage. 

In 1973, a group of parapsychologists perform a séance using a drawing as a reference in an attempt to contact a spirit named Charles Reamer. This 'Charles Experiment' is repeated decades later by a group of college students, Patrick (Tom Felton), Greg (Luke Pasqualino), and Lydia (Julianna Guill), who focus their minds on a statue representation of Charles with the aid of modern technology. The experiment is a success but an otherworldly entity is accidentally unleashed and during the ensuing chaos, Lydia is pulled into the darkness. Sometime later, Ben (Sebastian Stan) and his loving girlfriend Kelly (Ashley Green) are settling into their new home, which is part of a remote housing development in Palmdale, California that was recently purchased by Kelly's parents as an investment property. The couple spends their day shopping for personal items at the local Costco before returning home. Falling asleep in each other's arms, Kelly wakes up in the middle of the night to discover that all their front and back doors are wide open with no alerts from the alarm. The security company does not find anything out of the ordinary but Ben sets up video surveillance around the house just to be safe. However, strange occurrences such as moving shadows and inaudible whispers continue to haunt the young couple, with an omnipresent mold spreading throughout the house. Kelly and Ben soon realize that they are being targeted by a malevolent entity that seeks to invade our world. 

"The Apparition" has so many problems that I don't even know where to even begin! The only person to blame for this mess is Todd Lincoln because not only did he direct the film but he also served as its writer and producer. Ripping off of Peli's "Paranormal Activity" series and every Japanese horror flick in the past ten years, there is not one ounce of originality here as it devolves into a maddeningly pointless exercise of slow camera movements punctuated by the occasional flickering light or loud noise. The running time is a mercifully short 1 hour and 22 minutes but the lethargic pacing drains all the tension away while Lincoln pads his film with meaningless shots that convey absolutely nothing. The number of aerial/establishing shots of the home and its surrounding neighborhood soon grows tiresome after the umpteenth time and it's immediately clear that this rookie director lacks any sense of personal style. Even the score from Tom Hajdu and Andy Milburn of 'tomandandy' feels distractingly out of place.  The so-called 'scares' fail to drum up any excitement and even gets downright hilarious, such as when a neighbor's dog just suddenly drops dead from staring at a corner in the couple's laundry room. This prompted Brian Tallerico of HollywoodChicago.com to write in his review that 'with the poor mutt's ridiculous death, we've lost the most likable character in the story.' The only tense moment comes during an out-of-body experience where Ben is forced to watch helplessly while his girlfriend suffocates under the bed sheets but even these are few and far between, and are so obviously telegraphed in advance that much of their impact has been diluted. The dialogue is mind-numbingly dull, suffering from vague exposition and absurd techno-babble like 'psychomanteum' but the two lead characters fare the worse as they make asinine decisions and generally behave in an idiotic manner. Ben and Kelly spend the better part of the film running around peeking into dark corners and reacting to every little noise yet they refuse to acknowledge the fact that their house may be haunted until it's too late. The only audience that will find "The Apparition" remotely appealing is teenagers who hope to get to second base with their dates. 

With the film already so bad, it should come as no surprise that the performances are downright terrible. Ashley Greene is an attractive woman but her acting leaves a lot to be desired as she functions as little more than eye-candy, frequently stripping down to her underwear to keep our attention, although her moments of panic and confusion are somewhat convincing. Sebastian Stan is trapped in a permanently sullen mood and shares virtually no chemistry with Greene. The opening scenes that set up their relationship are painful to watch. Marvel Studios should really look into recasting the part of the Winter Soldier in the "Captain America" sequel because I cannot see Stan pulling off such an important role. With Ben and Kelly so poorly-developed, it's hard to really care about what they're going through, let alone fearing for their lives. Tom Felton (or Draco Malfoy) shows up in the latter half of the film to sprout some nonsense but there's a conviction behind his performance that puts him a cut above his boring co-stars. 

Released on August 24, 2012, "The Apparition" has received overwhelmingly negative reviews with a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. Now that is something you do not see every day. Apparently Warner Brothers felt so little confidence in Lincoln's project (and partly due to their discontinued support of Dark Castle Entertainment) that they're just dumping it in the second to last week of August in only 810 theaters. The previews have also been outright misleading as the tagline 'Once you believe, you die' has nothing to do with anything in the film and completely misrepresents its premise. Adding insult to injury, both the poster and the trailer spoil the ending. Surprisingly, WB did hold advance screenings this past Thursday, even though the studio was making a concerted effort to hide the film from critics (never a good sign). It was a sparsely attended affair with the audience erupting in laughter at all the weak jump scares, with one of them being a blatant carbon copy of both "The Ring" but instead of a television, the entity crawls out of a washing machine. Given its limited release, it won't make much of an impression at the box office and is on track for a paltry $1 to $2 million debut yet what's even more shocking is that it took $17 million to make this crap. Not only is "The Apparition" one of the most inept horror flicks ever made but it's also one of the worst films of the year and everyone involved in its production ought to be ashamed. How studio executives even green-light garbage like this is truly mind-boggling. Then again, there's also "Battleship" so enough said.  

Final Rating: 1 out of 5

"We opened the door and it came through. It's like a virus; it knows you're afraid…spreads from one person to another. It wants to be in our world! It wants us!"

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The Odd Life of Timothy Green Review

Rated PG (Mild Thematic Elements and Brief Language)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 45 Minutes

Cast-

Jennifer Garner-Cindy Green

Joel Edgerton-Jim Green

C.J. Adams-Timothy Green

Odeya Rush-Joni Jerome

Rosemarie DeWitt-Brenda Best

David Morse-James Green, Sr.

M. Emmet Walsh-Uncle Bub

Lois Smith-Aunt Mel

Lonnie Rashid Lynn, Jr./Common-Coach Cal

Ron Livingston-Franklin Crudstaff

Dianne Wiest-Ms. Bernice Crudstaff

Shohreh Aghdashloo-Evette Onat

Directed by Peter Hedges

That Miracle-Gro from Home Depot really works. Look, I grew a kid from the garden last night!

Released a year after the end of World War II in 1946, Frank Capra's "It's a Wonderful Life," loosely based on Philip Van Doren Stern's 1943 short story The Greatest Gift, is a timeless Hollywood classic that has sadly become a rarity as movie studios are more concerned with chasing the almighty dollar in lieu of allowing writers to simply tell good stories. Never descending into manufactured over-sentimentalism, Capra grounds his characters and captures such genuine emotion that you really start to believe that perhaps, just maybe, a guardian angel is 'out there' watching over us. When James Stewart's George Bailey is at his lowest point and is about to commit suicide by jumping off a bridge, I seriously felt tears welling up in my eyes…but I had to contain myself or risk being ridiculed by my classmates (this was during film class). With its themes of unrealized dreams, of being constantly burdened with responsibility and watching the world pass you by, Capra's classic has continued to strike a chord with audiences for over six decades and of course, who could forget Donna Reed as Bailey's ever-faithful wife Mary. Now Reed is the definition of classical beauty, although Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn are equally valid choices. "It's a Wonderful Life" truly earns the moniker of being 'magical' but nowadays, we get assembly line schlock like "The Odd Life of Timothy Green" from novelist/writer/director Peter Hedges. Definitely one of the strangest films to be released this summer, "The Odd Life of Timothy Green" has its heart in the right place but its kid-friendly tone often clashes with the adult themes, making this a nauseatingly hollow experience that overindulges in saccharine melodrama to the point where it's liable to give you diabetes (no offense to actual diabetics). 

Told as a story within a story, Cindy and Jim Green (Jennifer Garner and Joel Edgerton), a loving couple living in Middle America in the small rural town of Stanleyville, are told that they are unable to conceive despite exhausting every available medical option. The two try to move on with their lives but a stubborn Jim wants to hold onto their dream for one more night and with his wife, writes down all the attributes their ideal child would have on pieces of paper. They then place the notes in a box and bury it in the family garden. A freak thunderstorm occurs in the middle of the night where the rain curiously pours only on the Green's residence. Woken up by the sound of thunder, Jim goes to close an open screen door and comes face-to-face with a ten-year-old boy covered in dirt and mud! With Cindy now awake as well, Jim and his wife discover a giant hole in their garden, as if something or someone dug themselves up but even more stranger is the fact that the boy standing before them has leaves growing out of his calves. Revealing his name to be Timothy (C.J. Adams), he immediately begins calling the bewildered couple Mom and Dad, claiming them as his parents. Thrust with such a sudden responsibility, Cindy and Jim introduce Timothy as their newly adopted son while hiding his leaves with knee-high socks. Falling in love with a solitary girl named Joni (Odeya Rush), who also has a secret of her own, Timothy begins touching the lives of those around him but it soon becomes clear that his time on Earth is limited. 

A child who was born from a garden due to a freak thunderstorm? Sounds like the beginning of a terrible horror flick but "The Odd Life of Timothy Green" is instead a mawkish melodrama that wants to capture the 'magical realism' that characterized such films like Frank Capra's "It's a Wonderful Life" yet the film just blunders along by relying on a tired formula full of silly clichés. With every scene desperately screaming to its audience 'Are you crying yet?! Are you?!,' the film just reeks of manufactured sentimentalism at every turn, its syrupy sappiness threatening to either make you throw up or roll your eyes in disbelief, perhaps both! Written by Hedges with Ahmet Zappa (son of musician Frank Zappa), the script commits a fatal mistake by having the story unfold through an awkward framed narrative, robbing the film of whatever suspense it could've had. Since Timothy does not appear in the present-day, it's immediately clear his fate is not a happy one. Given all the tree symbolism being thrown around, one can make a pretty accurate assumption as to what happens to him. The initial previews also made it seem like Odeya Rush's Joni held a secret that would play a role in the plot but the reveal (which happens early) is a major letdown and it makes little sense for her to be so moody in the first place given how inconsequential her dilemma is. Such asinine behavior permeates the film as characters are little more than naive caricatures that lack any form of real-world logic. When confronted with Timothy, Cindy and Jim just accept him as their son without asking any questions, as do the rest of their extended family. No one wonders where he came from or has any problem with this child just suddenly standing out in the open with his arms stretched out and his eyes closed while he soaks up the sun's rays like he's Superman. Such moments often end up being unintentionally hilarious and it's hard to take any of this seriously. Timothy even draws a self-portrait of Cindy's boss (Dianne Wiest) at the pencil museum in a scene that's reminiscent of James Cameron's "Titanic"…but only creepier. While I understand that Hedges wants to make a statement on the hardships of parenting and that sometimes it's better to let children be children, none of the emotion ever comes off as genuine. In order to retain its kid-friendly tone, these adult themes have been diluted, where catharsis is achieved without the trauma. The script is packed with subplots such as Jim trying to deal with his absentee father to the economic recession that threatens the survival of the pencil factory where everyone works but wanting the audience to believe that a child like Timothy could 'inspire' everyone to be better versions of themselves is a lot to ask for and therein lies the problem: everything that happens is so calculated to elicit a certain emotion that none of it feels real except for one scene where Cindy and Jim, along with their son, partake in a spontaneous a cappella to War's 1975 song Low Rider. What's worse is that it feels unnecessarily cruel to give Cindy and Jim what they want only to snatch it away at the last minute. While its earnestness is admirable, "The Odd Life of Timothy Green" just tries too hard to be loved but ends up being a shallow film that is far from being 'magical.' Manipulative would be a more appropriate word. 

Since this is a fairy tale, there's little in the way of actual acting but Jennifer Garner understands what kind of film she's in and throws herself into her role with a dimpled smile, mugging the camera with every opportunity. However, Joel Edgerton never looks comfortable and mumbles his way through the dialogue. He's probably asking himself what the heck he's doing in a film like this. As for C.J. Adams, his smile will cause those with mushy hearts to go 'Awww!' but for me, I'll just say that he's a lot less grating compared to most child actors yet he's not playing a character. Timothy exists as nothing more than an excuse to engage in some preachy moralizing. As Joni, Odeya Rush is the brooding girl that happens to be sweet on the inside. Making for a less than compelling bunch, the rest of the cast are written as thinly-developed caricatures. Rosemarie DeWitt is the nosy, competitive mom while David Morse is utterly wasted as Jim's father as all he does is stand around looking stern…and for that he earns a big fat paycheck. Ron Livingston and Dianne Wiest play the money-grubbing town owners and you know this because their last name is Crudstaff. Finally, there's hip-hop artist Common as an angry soccer coach and Shohreh Aghdashloo as a skeptical case worker at the adoption agency. 

"The Odd Life of Timothy Green" was released on August 15, 2012 and has received mixed reviews with 43% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics found it 'ultimately too cloyingly sentimental—and thinly scripted—to satisfy all but the least demanding viewers.' Mary Pols of TIME magazine even wrote that the film 'made [her] want to go on a sugar cleanse.' I have to admit that if I didn't receive passes for an advance screening, I wouldn't have paid to see this film. Despite the applause at the end, the audience clearly found it silly judging from all the unintentional laughs. As the summer movie season winds down, studios are dumping whatever films they have left before releasing their potential awards contenders in the fall. This weekend is one of the busiest with four new wide releases: this film, "The Expendables 2," "ParaNorman," and "Sparkle." Of course, "The Expendables 2" will top the box office while "The Odd Life of Timothy Green" will likely get lost in the shuffle since its going after the same audience as "ParaNorman," which is earning positive reviews. I commend Peter Hedges for wanting to tell a story that explores the hardships of being a parent and that the reality is always not what we dreamed about but "The Odd Life of Timothy Green" often resorts to mawkish attempts to make you feel emotional. Yea, I was crying all right…from laughing so much!

Final Rating: 2 out of 5

Jim Green: We made lots of mistakes.

Cindy Green: We made mistakes trying to fix our mistakes.

Jim Green: Isn't that what makes you a parent?

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