Mirror Mirror Review

Rated PG (Some Fantasy Action and Mild Rude Humor)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 46 Minutes

Cast-

Lily Collins-Snow White

Julia Roberts-Queen Clementianna

Armie Hammer-Prince Andrew Alcott

Nathan Lane-Brighton

Jordan Prentice-Napoleon

Mark Povinelli-Half Pint

Joe Gnoffo-Grub

Danny Woodburn-Grimm

Sebastian Saraceno-Wolf

Martin Klebba-Butcher

Ronald Lee Clark-Chuckles

Robert Emms-Charles Renbock

Mare Winningham-Baker Margaret

Sean Bean-The King

Directed by Tarsem Singh

Now that's a smile you just can't fake.

I believe (no pun intended if you get the song reference!) it’s not that big of an assumption to say that most people have already seen or is at least aware of Walt Disney’s 1937 animated film “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” while growing up as a child. Evolving from traditional hand-drawn techniques to full-blown CG, animation has come a long way in the past seventy-five years but Disney’s film, based upon the classic 1812 Brothers Grimm fairy tale of the same name, is considered historically significant by the National Film Registry for a number of milestones as it is the first animated feature film to be produced in the United States from Walt Disney Productions and the first in motion picture history to utilize cel-animation in full color. Although some have erroneously labeled it as the first animated feature film, that distinction actually belongs to a little-known 1917 Spanish film titled “El Apóstol” (translated: “The Apostle”) directed by Quirino Cristiani from Argentina. Unfortunately, Cristiani’s film was lost to a fire that destroyed the only known copy, which was in the hands of producer Federico Valle. The story of Snow White should be familiar to almost everyone even without seeing the various adaptations over the years given the way Grimm’s fairy tale has entered the public consciousness but Hollywood is throwing two more in the mix this year with Tarsem Singh’s “Mirror Mirror” and Rupert Sanders’ “Snow White and the Huntsman.” The former is a children’s film while the latter is an action-adventure that has invited comparisons with Peter Jackson’s “Lord of the Rings” trilogy. While the initial previews for “Mirror Mirror” left a bad first impression, the film is surprisingly enjoyable thanks to its whimsical charm, elaborate costume design, and stunning visuals as only Tarsem Singh can do.  The broad comedy will invite eye-rolling disdain from adults but it’s hard to hate the film when the cast has so much fun putting their own spin on a classic fairy tale. 

“Mirror Mirror” begins with the wicked Queen Clementianna (Julia Roberts) narrating the story of Snow White’s birth and sarcastically remarking that it ‘was the most pretentious name [her parents] could think of.’ Snow’s mother unfortunately dies in childbirth and the King (Sean Bean) raises her alone. He eventually remarries with Clementianna vainly identifying herself as his new wife but the King soon disappears after traveling to the dark forest to battle a mysterious monster. Left with only his dagger, Snow frantically searches for her father to no avail and was now at the mercy of the Queen. Fast forward to the present day and eighteen-year-old Snow White (Lily Collins) has grown up to be a lovely young woman but remains a prisoner in her own castle. The kingdom has also suffered greatly in the years since the King’s disappearance as Clementianna taxes the people heavily to support her vanity and lavish parties. With the encouragement of her servants, Snow decides to sneak out of the castle to see what has become of her father’s kingdom. Along the way she encounters two men hanging upside down from a tree who were robbed by a group of bandits. She frees them but unbeknownst to her, one of the men is Prince Andrew Alcott (Armie Hammer), who has been traveling for many months seeking adventure. When Snow arrives in the village, she is shocked to discover the people destitute and begging for food. Meanwhile Prince Alcott arrives at the castle to present himself with Queen Clementianna becoming immediately smitten with him. She plans to marry him in order to steal his wealth for herself. To save her father’s kingdom from the Queen, Snow White decides to take back what is rightfully hers and is joined by a group of seven dwarfs named Napoleon (Jordan Prentice), Half Pint (Mark Povinelli), Grub (Joe Gnoffo), Grimm (Danny Woodburn), Wolf (Sebastian Saraceno), Butcher (Martin Klebba), and Chuckles (Ronald Lee Clark). The dwarfs also happen to be the same bandits that robbed Prince Alcott, putting him at odds with Snow White. 

Growing up, I’ve seen my fair share of Disney films including “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” so when Relativity Media and Universal Pictures announced rival films based upon Grimm’s fairy tale, I was interested in what they would come up with seeing as how important the 1937 film was to my childhood. The initial previews for “Mirror Mirror” did not inspire much confidence to put it lightly and I was expecting the worse but color me surprised when I discovered that I actually enjoyed the film. Of course it appeals more to children (especially young girls) given its silly jokes and broad physical comedy ala The Three Stooges but “Mirror Mirror” has a certain infectious charm that makes it hard to outright pan the film despite its glaring flaws. Tarsem Singh’s films have always put visuals first over story and character development and while this Snow White contains enough wrinkles to differentiate itself from the traditional fairy tale, the overall plot remains predictable even with its modern feminist twist mixed with a dash of Robin Hood. However, one change that I did welcome was the frequent role reversal with Snow White saving Prince Alcott from the clutches of the Queen instead of the other way around. I also appreciated the writers (Melissa Wallack and Jason Keller) playing up the mother/daughter relationship with both Snow White and the Queen vying for the affections of the Prince, with the latter leading to a hilarious scene where Alcott ends up drugged with a love potion that makes him behave like a drooling love-struck puppy. As juvenile as the jokes and comedy were, the film is certainly aware at how ridiculous it is and often has its tongue-firmly-in cheek with a number of self-referential lines such as when Alcott insists on saving Snow by remarking that ‘it's been focus group tested! It works!’ Singh has always had an eye for the unusual but sometimes he goes over-the-top and one of the results is an awkward scene where the Queen is given a beauty makeover with parrot droppings brushed on her face and her lips puckered through bee stings. While the departures are welcome, Singh and his writers ultimately do not take them as far as they could and the end result mines familiar territory. 

The plot may be a missed opportunity for a radical shake-up but what makes “Mirror Mirror” worth the price of admission alone are the visuals and the lavish costumes from the late Japanese designer Eiko Ishioka. In a documentary about her work with acclaimed director Francis Ford Coppola, Ishioka remarked that ‘the costumes are the sets’ and this is certainly true when we first meet the Queen, who is wearing a large orange gown that seems like an extension of her seashell throne. Later at a ball, Collins is dressed as a white swan while Hammer is sporting a ridiculous top hat complete with rabbit ears and bunny paws on his hands. To make up for their short stature, the dwarfs are given special stilts that allow them to do acrobatic feats and shrink down like accordions when necessary. The visual and set design help reinforce the film’s candy-coated and whimsical storybook quality that puts a new spin on well-worn elements such as the famous magic mirror. Instead of an actual mirror, it’s a portal to the Queen’s personal realm where she communes with a literal reflection of herself. 

The cast could’ve sleepwalked to their paychecks but thankfully they do not and appear to genuinely enjoy and commit to their respective roles. As Snow White, Lily Collins (daughter of British singer/songwriter Phil Collins) exudes a sugary-sweetness in her first leading role that makes it easy to forgive her acting inexperience. Julia Roberts relishes at playing the Evil Queen with her often snide and snarky comments about the incompetence of her followers while Armie Hammer goes all-out crazy as the somewhat clueless ‘damsel-in-distress.’ Nathan Lane brings his usual flamboyant self as the Queen’s advisor (replacing the huntsman) and the dwarves make for a likeable bunch even though it’s sometimes hard to differentiate them due to the sameness of their costumes. 

Released on March 30, 2012, “Mirror Mirror” has received mixed reviews with 50% on Rotten Tomatoes as critics found it to be ‘undeniably beautiful—but its treatment of the age-old Snow White fable lacks enough depth or originality to set it apart from the countless other adaptations of the tale.’ At least Singh has always maintained consistency with the quality of his films. I saw the film late afternoon and the audience was largely comprised of adults with their children and young teens but everyone appeared to enjoy it despite the easy jokes and slapstick comedy. As for box office prospects, it’s looking to debut in third place with $20 to $25 million, which isn’t bad for a film with a terrible marketing campaign. I am not the intended audience for “Mirror Mirror” and while its changes to the Snow White fairy tale aren’t all that radical, I found myself caught up in its energetic charm and the Bollywood-style musical number was icing on the cake. The kids will love it for sure and I wouldn’t be surprised if adults ended up liking it either.

Final Rating: 3.5 out of 5

“You read so many stories where the prince saves the princess. It's time we changed that ending!”

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21 Jump Street Review

Rated R (Crude and Sexual Content, Pervasive Language, Drug Material, Teen Drinking and some Violence)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 49 Minutes

Cast-

Jonah Hill-Morton Schmidt

Channing Tatum-Greg Jenko

Brie Larson-Molly Tracey

Dave Franco-Eric Molson

O'Shea Jackson-Captain Dickson

Ellie Kemper-Ms. Griggs

Rob Riggle-Mr. Walters

Chris Parnell-Mr. Gordon

Nick Offerman-Deputy Chief Hardy

DeRay Davis-Domingo

Jake M. Johnson-Principal Dadier

Directed by Phil Lord and Chris Miller

Don't expect these guys to know their Miranda Rights!

As a film remake of a popular late 1980’s television series, “21 Jump Street” shouldn’t have worked but yet it surprises by being one of the funniest comedies this year. Nick Offerman’s Deputy Chief Hardy even dryly remarks at one point that ‘the guys in charge are out of original ideas and find themselves forced to recycle old programs’—an apt way of describing the current state of Hollywood. Similar attempts in reviving once popular television shows such as 2004’s “Starsky & Hutch” and 2006’s “Miami Vice” have been met with a mixed reception at best but when Columbia Pictures/Sony announced in May 2008 that a film remake for “21 Jump Street” was under development, the response was overwhelmingly negative due to Hollywood’s often-poor track record with remakes in general. Created by Patrick Hasburgh and Stephen J. Cannell, the original “21 Jump Street” ran for five seasons from 1987 to 1991 on the Fox Network and focused on a group of youthful-looking undercover police officers investigating crimes and other illegal activities in high schools, colleges, and other teenage venues. Unlike the film, the show was a crime drama that focused on teenage-related issues of its time (drug abuse, hate crimes, homophobia, etc.) with some episodes ending with a public service announcement from its cast members. However, it is best remembered for boosting Johnny Depp’s fledgling acting career. Depp become something of a teen idol on the show, a status which he found irritating when looking back. While the film version follows the same continuity as the television series, it does away with all the dramatic elements in favor of a genre parody. As much as it satirizes and pokes fun at action, cop, and high school films, “21 Jump Street” ends up embracing those very same clichés but while the story is thin and predictable, the pairing of Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum elevates the material thanks to their often-hilarious antics. 

Morton Schmidt (Jonah Hill) and Greg Jenko (Channing Tatum) are former high school classmates who reunite at the local police academy after graduating in 2005. A smart but socially awkward misfit, Schmidt was often made fun of by the more popular but dim-witted Jenko. At the police academy, the two decide to become friends and help with each other’s weaknesses—Schmidt with the physical challenges and Jenko with the exams. They successfully graduate as full-fledged police officers with Jenko remarking with confidence to ‘get ready for a lifetime of being badass mother f*ckers!’ Unfortunately, the two are assigned to park patrol and spend their time retrieving Frisbees and telling children not to feed the ducks. One day, they spot a motorcycle gang called the ‘One-Percenters’ smoking weed and excitedly shake them down. The gang members attempt to escape when Jenko finds cocaine in one of their saddlebags but One-Percenter leader Domingo (DeRay Davis) is arrested. However, Deputy Chief Hardy (Nick Offerman) is forced to release him because Jenko forgot to read him his Miranda rights. Due to their ineptitude, Hardy transfers them to an undercover program that the police department is resurrecting. Schmidt and Jenko arrive at an abandoned Korean church on ’21 Jump Street’ where they meet Captain Dickson (O'Shea Jackson), who informs them and the other recruits that they will be going undercover in various high schools. Dickson assigns Schmidt and Jenko to Sagan High School where a synthetic drug dubbed HFS has recently taken hold of the student populace. Schmidt and Jenko pose as brothers but the undercover operation does not go as planned when they mix up their identities and begin engaging in ridiculous behavior with disastrous results. 

Written by Jonah Hill and Michael Bacall, “21 Jump Street” jettisons all the police procedural and dramatic elements of the late-1980’s television series in favor of satirizing genre clichés in a knowingly tongue-in-cheek manner. The writers are aware that their film is essentially a studio-cash grab (as most remakes are) and some of the dialogue actually pokes fun at this while the story follows the mismatched buddy cop formula. As such, what happens in the film won’t come as a total surprise to audiences nor will it make much logical sense when observed under close scrutiny (Jenko recruits a group of honor students to help plant a bug on a suspect’s cell-phone) but it is peppered with enough hilarious moments to make these flaws forgivable. Early on, Schmidt and Jenko are forced to take the drugs that are at the center of their investigation, causing them to start hallucinating or engage in crude behavior. Channing Tatum shows a penchant for physical comedy when he starts running around screaming and knocking objects over in band class while under the influence of the drugs with each stage labeled with bizarre graphics. Many of the characters are depicted as caricatures of popular stereotypes (eco-friendly drug dealer and angry black police captain) but while the overall tone is certainly juvenile, the film cleverly explores the curious dichotomy of past and present, that the high school experience will always remain the same even if the students and culture change with the times—a fact that allows Schmidt and Jenko to overcome their lingering issues with each other. I also appreciated the little touches that directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller (whose previous film was 2009’s “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs”) afforded to their supporting cast such as Ellie Kemper’s chemistry teacher who is sexually attracted to Jenko or Rob Riggle’s loud-mouthed coach. There’s even a big cameo included which I won’t spoil but you can probably find out who it is if you search online. As funny as “21 Jump Street” is, there are a number of flaws and derivative story notwithstanding, the film runs a tad overlong and begins to drag as the narrative spins its wheels until the next laugh or set-piece. The car chases are also perfunctory but Lord and Miller gleefully play with the audience’s expectations of big explosions. 

Jonah Hill (who lost 40 pounds for the role) delivers as expected as the socially inept Schmidt since this type of role isn’t unfamiliar to him but it is surprisingly Channing Tatum who shines as the dimwitted and gung-ho Jenko. Tatum is not viewed favorably as an actor due to his limited range and his previous work have mainly consisted of muscle-bound tough guys or charming lover boys so his casting was met with skepticism but he seems to be right at home in a comedic role. Hill and Tatum complement each other so well that you truly believe that Schmidt and Jenko can be best friends in real life. The adorable Brie Larson plays the requisite love interest to Hill but don’t worry, her character is eighteen! The rest of the supporting cast has only one or two scenes but they make the most out of their irreverent roles in bringing on the laughter. 

“21 Jump Street” was released on March 16, 2012 to largely positive reviews with 85% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics hailed it as ‘a smart, affectionate satire of '80s nostalgia and teen movie tropes [and] offers rowdy mainstream comedy with a surprisingly satisfying bite.’ Comedies are often cheap to make and the film has already earned back its $42 million production budget with a worldwide box office gross of $87 million. The audience I saw the film with clearly enjoyed it but curiously, I heard someone loudly snoring in the back. People have always fallen asleep at the movies but why they do it is a mystery since you’re paying $6.00 to $13.50 to sleep when you can do that at home. “21 Jump Street” knows that it isn’t offering anything new and that it is essentially repackaged goods but the film offers up so many laughs with a wink and a nod that it’s hard to get hung up on its paper-thin story and predictable plot elements. I’m a hard man to please when it comes to comedies but “21 Jump Street” passes with flying colors!

Final Rating: 4 out of 5

“You have the right to... suck my dick, motherf*cker!”

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John Carter Review

Rated PG-13 (Intense Sequences of Violence and Action)

Running Time: 2 Hours & 12 Minutes

Cast-

Taylor Kitsch-John Carter

Lynn Collins-Dejah Thoris

Willem Dafoe (voice)-Tars Tarkas

Samantha Morton (voice)-Sola

Dominic West-Sab Than

Mark Strong-Matai Shang

Thomas Haden Church (voice)-Tal Hajus

Ciarán Hinds-Tardos Mors

Polly Walker-Sarkoja

James Purefoy-Kantos Kan

Bryan Cranston-Colonel Powell

Daryl Sabara-Edgar ‘Ned’ Rice Burroughs

Directed by Andrew Stanton

No one gets away with insulting my abs.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: a charming rogue trying to make a simple living joins up with a motley crew of freedom fighters and falls in love with a princess while being swept up in a civil war. Another one: a former soldier finds himself in a strange new land and falls in love with one of the natives but is forced to protect her and her people from those who seek to conquer them. If you were thinking of 1977’s “Star Wars” and 2009’s “Avatar,” then you are correct as both George Lucas and James Cameron have publicly admitted that one of their many influences were the science fiction/fantasy novels of Edgar Rice Burroughs, who created the famed jungle hero Tarzan in 1912 in the pages of pulp magazine All-Star before being collected as a book two years later titled Tarzan of the Apes. Burroughs would go on to pen over a dozen sequels, making the character into an instantly recognizable pop culture icon. Although making his debut the same year and in the same pulp magazine as Tarzan, John Carter remains unfamiliar outside of a very niche group of fans but all that is about to change with the film adaptation, based upon the 1917 novel A Princess of Mars, the first in Burrough’s series of Barsoom novels. 

Bringing John Carter to the big screen was no easy task and stretched as far back as 1931 when “Looney Tunes” director Robert Clampett approached Burroughs in adapting the character for a feature-length animated film. The author and studio executives expressed enthusiasm but the initial test footage was met with a negative reception from film exhibitors, who found the idea of a human on Mars too outlandish to take seriously. Ironically, a similar situation developed when George Lucas was making the original “Star Wars,” which had little to no marketing as many believed it would be a financial flop but we all know how that turned out. The rights for the novels ended up in the hands of Walt Disney Pictures during the 1980’s with John McTiernan and Tom Cruise attached to the project as director and actor. However, McTiernan found that visual effects were not yet advanced enough to realize Burrough’s vision and the project subsequently collapsed. By 2004, the rights were now in the hands of Paramount Pictures with Robert Rodriguez set as director but he was replaced with Kerry Conran (famous for 2004’s “Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow”) after Rodriguez resigned from the Directors Guild of America when he wanted to credit Frank Miller as co-director for 2005’s “Sin City,” based upon Miller’s own series of graphic novels of the same name. Conran left the project for unknown reasons and was replaced again with Jon Favreau but when Paramount decided not to renew the film rights and concentrate on a new “Star Trek” film, Favreau moved on to helm 2008’s “Iron Man,” based upon the Marvel Comics character of the same name. Disney managed to reacquire the rights in January 2007 with Andrew Stanton (whose credits include 1998’s “A Bug’s Life,” 2003’s “Finding Nemo,” and 2008’s “Wall-E”) set as director with filming finally commencing in 2010. Based upon A Princess of Mars, “John Carter” is a largely silly and derivative piece of pulp science fiction/fantasy but its hard not to get enthralled in the imaginative world that Burroughs created as the exceptional visuals are worth the price of admission alone. 

Haunted by the death of his wife and daughter, former Confederate Army cavalry officer John Carter (Taylor Kitsch) spends his days prospecting in 1868 Arizona, searching for the legendary ‘Spider’s Cave’ that is rumored to be full of gold. However, he is captured by the 7th Cavalry Regiment led by Colonel Powell (Bryan Cranston), who wishes to enlist Carter in fighting the Apaches thanks to his impressive Civil War record. He steadfastly refuses and eventually escapes from his prison cell on Powell’s horse. Powell and his men give chase but are forced to stop when they come upon a band of Apache warriors. Carter attempts to negotiate with them but a nervous cavalryman shoots and kills one of the Apaches. The two sides clash in a gun battle and Carter makes a break for it in the ensuing chaos but when he sees Powell suffer a bullet wound, he goes back to save him. They are chased to the mouth of a cave, prompting the Apaches to retreat even though they have them cornered. Carter finds a nine-legged spider symbol while exploring the cave and realizes that he has found his gold. Before he can collect his reward, a strange grey-robed man suddenly materializes and attacks him. After a short struggle, Carter manages to shoot the man dead and picks up a strange silver medallion. With his dying breath, the man mumbles a phrase and the word Barsoom. The medallion glows an eerie blue and Carter suddenly wakes up in a barren desert wasteland. He finds himself unable to walk properly as each step causes him to leap into the air and fall flat on his stomach. Carter comes face-to-face with a group of tusked, four-armed humanoids speaking in a language he cannot understand. The leader, or Jeddak, identifies himself as Tars Tarkas (voice of Willem Dafoe), who is amazed at Carter’s skill in jumping and captures him. The humanoids, known as Tharks, bring Carter to their city, where he is cared for by a woman named Sola (voice of Samantha Morton) and is fed a strange liquid that allows him to understand what the Tharks are saying. Carter attempts to escape but fails and Tars Tarkas punishes him and Sola as she was responsible for him. However, the arrival of two airships in battle gives Carter a reprieve but when he sees a young human woman clinging to the edge of her ship, he leaps to save her. The woman is named Dejah Thoris (Lynn Collins), a princess from the city of Helium. Carter finally learns that he is on Mars (called Barsoom by the natives) and that the planet is embroiled in a civil war between Helium and Zodanga, led by the tyrannical Sab Than (Dominic West). Although initially wanting nothing more than to get home, Carter falls in love with Dejah and eventually comes to fight for not just the people of Helium, but for the Tharks as well. Meanwhile, another grey-robed man named Matai Shang (Mark Strong) watches on the sidelines, curious to learn more about the newly-arrived human. 

With ridiculous names like Barsoom, Tars Tarkas, and Dejah Thoris, it’s easy to dismiss “John Carter” as a silly science fiction/fantasy affair made for children but that would be doing the film a disservice. The story is a by-the-numbers affair featuring the classic hero’s journey popularized by films such as the original “Star Wars” but it’s easy to forgive its derivative nature when looking at the fact that the work of Edgar Rice Burroughs’ served as the inspiration for directors that include George Lucas and James Cameron to even comic book writers such as Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster, the creators of DC Comics’ Superman. Without him, none of their works would’ve existed but I doubt many people know or even care for this if one were to look at the film’s anemic box office earnings. There is no questioning that “John Carter” is a flawed film but it largely works because Stanton sets the bar high for himself, going to great lengths to bring to life the world that Burroughs created in his novels and it’s hard not to become enthralled as Carter encounters all manners of wondrous species and locations in his adventure. However, even with its 2 hours and 12 minute running time, the story feels stuffed and often comes off as muddled. Some of the character subplots such as the one involving Tars Tarkas and his daughter are glossed over and the motivations of each of the factions on Mars are never made entirely clear, although it is obvious that the conflict is meant to reflect the American Civil War and the displacement of Native Americans. It is easy to tell the heroes and villains apart thanks to the red and blue colors they wear but why they are fighting remains vague. The explanation from the mastermind behind the Zodanga invasion provides precious little answers as well. While it does not derail the film, the ending is also anticlimactic and rushed with a large amount of exposition thrown in to explain how Carter travels to Mars. 

The film features a lot of CG effects and given how complex Burroughs imagined Mars to be, it was necessary. Every penny out of that $250 million budget is apparent on-screen from the motion capture work of the Tharks to the action scenes that include Carter battling with gargantuan white apes who find their prey through smell. The technology depicted is both futuristic and old-fashioned given its pulp roots with large airships used as transportation and trading cannon fire as ships that sail on water would. Weapons remain of the swords and rifle category, reinforcing the swashbuckling nature of the film. I did not view “John Carter” in 3D but it appears that it was post-converted with little enthusiasm judging from Stanton’s comment where he remarked that he had ‘no say over whether it's in 3D.’ Some critics have described the 3D as abysmal but the general consensus is that it was competent but still mediocre. 

The characters have simple personalities so there is not much effort needed on the part of the cast but the acting is surprisingly sincere. Taylor Kitsch makes for a credible action hero with his gruff demeanor even if it is apparent that his range is limited. Lynn Collins bares her midriff (and sometimes cleavage) in every costume she wears but thankfully she’s not the helpless damsel-in-distress the commercials made her out to be. The two have a good rapport which helps make their growing love for each other convincing. While the heroes themselves are fleshed-out, the villains played by Dominic West and Mark Strong is two-dimensional and never come across as little more than annoyances despite the powers they wield. The supporting cast such as Willem Dafoe, Samantha Morton, and Thomas Haden Church only provide their voices but they manage to make you look past the fact that their characters are CG constructs and accept them as real people. Character actor Ciarán Hinds, Bryan Cranston, and Daryl Sabara play small but inconsequential roles. 

Released on March 9, 2012, “John Carter” has received mixed reviews with 51% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics admitted that the film ‘looks terrific and delivers its share of pulpy thrills [but] it also suffers from uneven pacing and occasionally incomprehensible plotting and characterization.’ However, it will now be remembered for being one of the biggest box office flops this year. Although $185 million worldwide is nothing to sneeze at, it is certainly a far cry from its production budget and marketing costs. The problem is not in the quality of the film but in how it was marketing to people. For one, it would’ve helped to mention Edgar Rice Burroughs’ name and connect it to something familiar such as Tarzan. I doubt anyone knew that the two were connected because I certainly didn’t but I always research the films I’m reviewing before going to see them. I do not expect people to do that considering the trouble they have in picking a film to see but that is a rant best left for another day. “John Carter” is neither a great nor terrible film but it is worth seeing despite the muddled story-telling. Do not let the box office numbers keep you away because those are ultimately irrelevant in deciding whether a film is good or bad. Too often, people equate big box office numbers with a quality film when this is not always true. We’ll probably never see a “John Carter 2” at this point but I’m glad Andrew Stanton made this one.

Final Rating: 3.5 out of 5

“When I saw you, I believed it was a sign...that something new can come into this world.”

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The Woman in Black Review

Rated PG-13 (Thematic Material and Violence/Disturbing Images)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 35 Minutes

Cast-

Daniel Radcliffe-Arthur Kipps

Ciarán Hinds-Sam Daily

Janet McTeer-Elizabeth Daily

Roger Allam-Mr. Bentley

Liz White-The Woman in Black

Sophie Stuckey-Stella Kipps

Misha Handley-Joseph Kipps

Jessica Raine-Joseph’s Nanny

Directed by James Watkins

Looks like we're not in Hogwarts anymore...

The “Harry Potter” films have earned a gargantuan $7.7 billion at the worldwide box office (more than we normal folk will ever make in a lifetime so keep dreaming) but now that it’s all over, what’s next for the three stars who has spent the last ten years bringing our favorite fantasy characters to life? Rupert Grint has a number of projects lined up but for now he’s content with being the proud owner of an ice cream truck while Emma Watson is currently studying abroad at Oxford University before returning to Brown for her final year. She is set to appear in “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” this year, based upon the 1999 novel of the same name by Stephen Chbosky. Mr. Potter himself, Daniel Radcliffe, is already a Broadway star with Equus and How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying but his first film role after “Harry Potter” is “The Woman in Black,” based upon Susan Hill’s 1983 novel of the same name. Hill’s novel was previously adapted into a stage play by Stephen Mallatratt in 1987 (which continues to run to this day) and a television film in 1989. “The Woman in Black” is an old-fashioned ghost story that Hollywood rarely makes anymore and while the film may not do anything wholly original, it manages to provide a spooky enough atmosphere thanks to its impeccable production design. 

Taking place during the early 1900’s in London and the surrounding countryside, young solicitor Arthur Kipps (Daniel Radcliffe) prepares to set out for the small town of Crythin Gifford to settle the large estate of the recently deceased Alice Drablow, who lived in Eel Marsh House in northeastern England. Kipps has a four-year-old son named Joseph (Misha Handley) but his wife Stella (Sophie Stuckey) passed away during childbirth. During the train ride to Crythin Gifford, Kipps meets a wealthy landowner named Sam Daily (Ciarán Hinds), who easily deduces that he was sent from London to sell Eel Marsh House. As it is raining heavily, Sam offers to drive Kipps to the local village inn and invites him to his home for dinner with his wife Elizabeth (Janet McTeer) the next evening. Kipps is greeted with a chilly reception by the innkeeper, who reveals that all the rooms have been booked and that he should go back where he came from. The innkeeper’s wife convinces her husband to let Kipps stay for one night up in the attic. The townspeople regard Kipps with cold suspicion but he dutifully sets out in the morning to Eel Marsh House to begin his paperwork. However, he is interrupted by strange noises coming from the upstairs bedroom and goes to investigate. Kipps finds only a crow’s nest but when he looks out the window, he sees a veiled woman dressed in black standing alone in the garden. A series of terrifying events begin to occur but despite the objections of the townspeople, Kipps sets out to learn the truth about the mysterious woman in black. 

Although the presence of Daniel Radcliffe makes marketing “The Woman in Black” easier toward general audiences, the plot is rather thin as much of the film is simply a series of extended scare sequences. Contrasting with Hollywood’s more flashy efforts, director James Watkins opts for a traditional approach by utilizing light and shadow in order to maximize the suspense and frightening atmosphere. This is highly effective thanks to Tim Maurice-Jones’ immaculate production design. Eel Marsh House is as much a character as Arthur Kipps with its candle-lit decaying walls and dark corners that suggest something is watching us. Even the most mundane items such as a porcelain doll or a windup toy seem terrifying and add to the creepy ambiance of every scene thanks to Watkins’ creative camera angles and lighting. However, the film relies on jump scares a little too much and is at its most spooky when it builds up toward it while you squirm in your seat waiting for it to be over. The eponymous ‘woman’ herself is also smartly utilized sparingly but her presence is felt in every scene even if only glimpses are afforded to her. Despite the flimsy story from Jane Goldman, the writing is generally solid and the characters are given enough depth to allow you to care about them. The ending is also not as dark as I had expected and is oddly bittersweet for a horror film. “The Woman in Black” may eschew originality for tried-and-true ghost story tropes but what it does, it does very well. 

While the film relies more on its atmosphere and set design, the cast give solid performances. In his first role after Harry Potter, Daniel Radcliffe remains mournful and stoic but he reacts convincingly to all the supernatural occurrences that happen around him. However, the character of Arthur Kipps was written as older and some of the scenes with his son feel awkward considering that Radcliffe is no older than me. The ever reliable Ciarán Hinds is also on-hand as a father dealing with the loss of his son but for much of its ninety-five minute running time, its Radcliffe’s show with Hinds relegated to sidekick. 

“The Woman in Black” was released on February 3, 2012 to mildly positive reviews with 63% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics found it ‘traditional to a fault, [the film] foregoes gore for chills—although it may not provide enough of them for viewers attuned to more modern, high-stakes horror.’ The production budget was a low $17 million and it has already grossed an impressive $46 million domestic thanks to Radcliffe’s casting. While I did jump out of my seat a few times, I wouldn’t call the film particularly scary but I observed two young women sitting next to me constantly covering their eyes every time Marco Beltrami’s gothic and ominous score plays and Radcliffe starts to slowly creep around the house. Those weaned on blood and gore will find “The Woman in Black” boring but for people who can appreciate an old-fashioned ghost story, there’s much to like in James Watkins’ adaptation even if originality is nowhere to be found.

Final Rating: 3 out of 5

“I will never forgive...I will never forgive...”

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Chronicle Review

Rated PG-13 (Intense Action and Violence, Thematic Material, some Language, Sexual Content and Teen Drinking)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 24 Minutes

Cast-

Dane DeHaan-Andrew Detmer

Alex Russell-Matt Garetty

Michael B. Jordan-Steve Montgomery

Ashley Hinshaw  -Casey Letter

Michael Kelly-Richard Detmer

Bo Petersen-Karen Detmer

Anna Wood-Monica

Directed by Josh Trank

With great power...

Peter Parker’s Uncle Ben famously said that with great power comes great responsibility but would Peter be the same man he is today if he grew up in an abusive environment? Despite the risk of oversaturation, superhero films continue to be popular among audiences even if the quality can sometimes be hit-or-miss, ranging from excellent (“The Dark Knight”) to outright awful (“Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance”). Similarly, found-footage films have resurged since the release of 2009’s “Paranormal Activity” as they represent both a potentially bankable and low risk investment for Hollywood studios. The first week of 2012 saw the release of “The Devil Inside” which earned an incredible $34 million during opening weekend against a paltry $1 million production budget despite being universally reviled by both critics and audiences alike. Found-footage films have remained in the realm of horror for the most part but first-time director Josh Trank merges it with the superhero genre in “Chronicle.” I have to admit that my initial impressions from the previews were negative as it appeared to be just another in a long line of forgettable found-footage films looking to make a quick buck but I checked it out at the insistence of a good friend of mine. The found-footage approach proves to be a hindrance at times and the CG effects are uneven but “Chronicle” remains a damn good film that boasts some solid acting from its three leads and an engaging script that effectively blends classic superhero origin tropes with elements of a coming-of-age drama. 

Andrew Detmer (Dane DeHaan) is a high school student living in Seattle who one day decides to start documenting his life on video camera. His abusive father Richard (Michael Kelly) is a former firefighter who was injured on the job but now spends his days collecting the insurance and getting drunk while his wife Karen (Bo Petersen) slowly succumbs to cancer. Friendless and often the target of bullies, Andrew spends his days alone but his cousin Matt Garetty (Alex Russell) invites him to a party held at an abandoned barn in an attempt to make him more sociable. This fails as Andrew ends up angering one of the partygoers with his filming and he leaves dejected. Popular student and school presidential candidate Steve Montgomery (Michael B. Jordan) approaches Andrew and tells him that Matt has found something in the woods and wants it to be filmed on camera. The two meet up with Matt at a clearing and find him standing by a peculiar hole cut into the earth. They listen to the sounds emanating from the hole, prompting Matt and Steve to impulsively leap in to discover its origin. Andrew hesitantly follows them and the three come upon a strange crystalline structure. The camera’s feed begins to distort and suddenly cuts to black when the crystal begins to glow an eerie red. After recovering from their encounter in the cave weeks later, the three find themselves endowed with telekinetic abilities and excitedly test them on each other. Exerting their powers causes nosebleeds but Matt theorizes that they will get stronger with use over time. They initially use their powers for harmless pranks but when Andrew inadvertently puts someone’s life in danger, Matt chastises him and decides that they must restrict the use of their abilities in public and around other people. Although happy that he has now found a place where he belongs, Andrew’s demeanor soon begins to change as his anger at all those who have hurt him reaches the breaking point. 

With its first-person perspective and unique take on the classic origin story, “Chronicle” explores the psychological consequences that results when one suddenly finds himself wielding the powers of a god and proves John Dalberg-Acton’s famous remark that ‘power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.’ One of the things that the film excels at is the interplay among the three main characters with Trank and writer Max Landis building up a sort of journey that they go through while their friendship strengthens thanks to their shared abilities. The focus however is always on Andrew as it initially depicts him as a meek loner who eventually transforms into a vengeful Magneto-like being that sets out to destroy a world that has wronged him. While the idea is certainly a familiar one to avid comic book readers, this ‘birth of a villain’ if you will is grounded in teenage melodrama that is often found in more traditional dramatic fare. There are also welcome nods to a number of comic book origin stories such as Spider-Man. At one point a brooding Andrew sees a spider crawling on the floor of his room and kills it by tearing apart its limbs with his mind. In fact Landis seems to have taken inspiration from Peter Parker but instead of a loving Uncle Ben and Aunt May, Andrew has an abusive father who takes out his frustrations on his son and a mother on her deathbed. Despite what he becomes at the end, he remains a tragic and even sympathetic character, which is quite a feat to accomplish given the film’s economical running time. 

Quite a few laughs can also be had in the first hour as the three friends gleefully pull pranks such as moving someone’s parked car to another location or trying to pull gum out of people’s mouths, with hilarious results. The use of found-footage may be a gimmick but it works right up until the final twenty or so minutes as Trank tries hard to work around its limitations. This approach offers a certain raw intimacy to the proceedings and having Andrew levitate the camera rather than holding it ends up being quite ingenious. However, the final battle is shown through the use of cell phone and security footage, which is edited in such a way that it almost ruins the immersion factor but by that time we are already invested in what is happening so it’s not a total deal-breaker. Landis’ script also falters when it shoehorns in a romance that goes nowhere between Matt and an online blogger named Casey (Ashley Hinshaw). The CG effects can also come off as amateurish such as during the levitation scenes where its painfully obvious that wirework was used but the climax is epic enough to make up for it thanks to its “Superman II”-like scope. Ultimately, these are minor issues and “Chronicle” succeeds because it keeps us emotionally invested in the characters and tells a familiar story in a way that is both fresh and exciting. 

The cast is comprised of mostly unknowns whose work has mainly been limited to television but it allows them to easily melt into their respective roles. Dane DeHaan, Alex Russell, and Michael B. Jordan all give excellent performances and the natural camaraderie they share helps keep the film grounded in the real world. However it is DeHaan who shines as he slowly turns Andrew from victim to destructive sociopath. There are some truly disturbing scenes where he expresses his contempt on-camera towards people he deems weak and justifies his actions by coldly remarking that ‘you do not feel guilty when you squash a fly.’ The only actor that you may recognize is Michael Kelly, who has held a number of supporting roles spanning both films and television over the years. 

“Chronicle” was released on February 3, 2012 and received largely positive reviews with a surprisingly impressive 84% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics hailed the film for its ‘smart script, fast-paced direction, and engaging performances from its young, talented cast.’ Shot on a production budget of $12 million, it has already turned a sizable profit with a worldwide box office gross of $81 million so far. While the film leaves the door open for a sequel, I hope that Trank leaves it as is since some things are just better left up to the imagination. “Chronicle” certainly took me by surprise with its strong characterization and script, proving once again that a director does not require massive budgets or excessive CG to create a great film so long as he or she has an original idea and the ambition/drive to see it through. Trank is currently a frontrunner for the “Fantastic Four” reboot and while giving such a huge project to a new director isn’t exactly wise, he has already proven himself capable of handling such a task. This is the kind of new talent that Hollywood should foster.

Final Rating: 4 out of 5

“You do not feel guilty when you squash a fly...and I think that means something. I just think that really means something.”

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Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance 3D Review

Rated PG-13 (Intense Sequences of Action and Violence, Some Disturbing Images, and Language)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 35 Minutes

Cast-

Nicolas Cage-Johnny Blaze\Ghost Rider

Idris Elba-Moreau

Violante Placido-Nadya

Johnny Whitworth-Ray Carrigan\Blackout

Ciarán Hinds-Mr. Roarke\The Devil

Fergus Riordan-Danny

Christopher Lambert-Methodius

Directed by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor

If only the rest of the film was as awesome as this shot...

*Sigh*…Nicholas Cage, what happened to you? Let me remind you that Cage won a Golden Globe and an Academy Award for Best Actor back in 1995 for “Leaving Las Vegas,” where he portrayed a failed Hollywood screenwriter who drank himself to death. He would receive praise again for his off-kilter performance as Charlie and Donald Kaufman in 2002’s “Adaptation” but since then, Cage has become something of a laughing stock as he’s forced to accept every film offered to him in order to drag himself out of the financial hole he created. The last film he starred in that received positive reviews was 2010’s gleefully violent “Kick-Ass” but his recent body of work has been embarrassingly bad. Last year’s critically-reviled “Trespass” directed by Joel Schumacher (who ruined the “Batman” franchise back in 1997) was pulled from theaters in less than two weeks and released on DVD/Blu-Ray after eighteen days. Cage hasn’t quite reached direct-to-video levels yet but he is coming dangerously close. A self-professed comic book fan, Cage has longed for his own superhero film franchise and he got his wish in 2007 with Mark Steven Johnson’s “Ghost Rider.” Unfortunately, it received negative reviews from both critics and fans alike but managed to become a mild box office success with $229 million worldwide. Sony/Columbia Pictures quickly announced a sequel and five years later, we have “Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance,” which astonishingly manages to make the first film look like a cinematic masterpiece by comparison thanks to its nonsensical story, atrocious dialogue, haphazard camerawork and bargain-basement special effects. This film is nothing but a trashy snooze-fest that will leave you angry with a throbbing headache. 

Picking up eight years after the events of the first film, former motorcycle stuntman Johnny Blaze (Nicholas Cage) is in self-imposed exile in a remote part of Eastern Europe as he continues to struggle with the curse of the Ghost Rider. A hard-drinking monk named Moreau (Idris Elba) finds him and asks for his help in locating a boy named Danny (Fergus Riordan), who is being hunted by a band of gun-toting mercenaries led by Ray Carrigan (Johnny Whitworth). If Blaze succeeds, Moreau will help lift his curse and give him back his soul. Convinced by the prospect of having a second chance at a normal life, Blaze unleashes the Ghost Rider and manages to track down the boy but the situation becomes complicated when he learns that Danny is to be the new vessel for Mr. Roarke aka the Devil himself (Ciarán Hinds). To stop the Devil from fully regaining his powers, Blaze teams up with Moreau and Danny’s mother Nadya (Violante Placido) but hot on their trail is Carrigan, who has been transformed into the demonic Blackout. 

Hollywood tends to release numerous sequels to films that earn even a modicum of profit but I doubt anyone was clamoring for a follow-up to “Ghost Rider,” widely considered to be one of the worst comic book films ever made. I admit that it is still miles better than Schumacher’s horrid travesty “Batman & Robin,” which is already high praise indeed. Mark Steven Johnson steps aside to serve as executive producer and replacing him are Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, who have carved out a niche specializing in violently over-the-top action films such as “Crank” and “Gamer” where they disregard everything that makes up a good film such as story and character development in favor of satisfying their inner-thirteen-year-old. “Spirit of Vengeance” is no different but the violence has been toned down in order to receive a PG-13 rating. For a film that was marketed as having non-stop action, there’s surprisingly very little with the ‘story’ solely used to inflate the already-short ninety-five minute running time. Nothing generates much interest as the script from Scott M. Gimple, Seth Hoffman, and David S. Goyer (who also co-wrote “The Dark Knight” with Christopher Nolan) is a straight rip-off from James Cameron’s “Terminator 2: Judgment Day.” The rushed pacing makes it clear that the film was made solely for Sony/Columbia Pictures to keep the rights to the character when it would’ve been wiser to let them revert back to Marvel. Honestly, I was bored by what was happening on-screen because nothing is taken seriously and you simply do not care about anyone. Even the exposition is conveyed in lazily-animated sequences. 

One of the problems that plagued the first film was the yawn-inducing action but here, it’s liable to give you a pounding headache as the camera erratically shakes around in extremely odd angles and close-ups to the point where you cannot even tell what the heck is going on. Neveldine and Taylor’s interpretation of Ghost Rider as an unstoppable primal force of nature is one of the few bright spots and the CG work to bring him to life is impressive but everything else is just bargain-basement quality with cheap-looking sets that appear to have been hastily assembled with Styrofoam. “Spirit of Vengeance” is another one of those films that was post-converted into 3D and while it does not suffer from the same issues that plagued other post-converted films, the effect adds nothing except a $5 surcharge. There’s no sense of depth at all and the confusing action scenes only add to the disorienting experience. 

Like the story, the acting is god-awful with Nicholas Cage in full-on psycho mode. I admire the fact that he throws himself into the role with such wild abandon but it’s all wrong. Johnny Blaze is supposed to be tormented by his struggle to contain the Ghost Rider but he comes off as a wide-eyed schizophrenic. Idris Elba sports a ridiculous French accent while Violante Placido really tries to give her character some measure of depth but it’s all for naught given that she’s intended to be nothing more than eye-candy. The worst offense is Johnny Whitworth as Ray Carrigan/Blackout with his annoying ‘dirt-bag’ shtick that quickly wears thin. For those of you who don’t know, Blackout is a villain of Ghost Rider who debuted in Ghost Rider #2 in 1990 but his powers are poorly realized as every time he comes into contact with someone, he transports them to this void-like dimension, which I assume was done to save money. Ciarán Hinds is the only cast member to come out relatively unscathed and actually makes for an effective Satan. 

“Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance” was released on February 17, 2012 to highly negative reviews with an unsurprisingly low 16% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics wrote off the film ‘as plain trash’ with its ‘weak script, uneven CG work, and a Nicholas Cage performance so predictably loony it’s no longer amusing.’ While it was initially expected to win the President’s Day weekend, this is no longer the case as clichéd romantic drama “The Vow” looks to be holding on to first place. “Spirit of Vengeance” is looking to finish the four-day weekend in fourth place with approximately $24 million, a far cry from its predecessor. It will likely recoup its $57 million production budget once worldwide receipts are factored in but hopefully a third film won’t follow. Audience attendance was middling at best when I saw the film but a majority seemed to enjoy it, especially one obnoxious patron who kept screaming excitedly at every action scene and even during the previews to the point where you’d think that this was his first time seeing a 3D film. As pretentious as this may sound, films should be watched by those who can appreciate it while yokels like the one I mentioned should stay home where they belong. “Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance” is a horrible film even by B-movie standards and is a waste of everyone’s time and money. You may be broke but I know you can do better than this, Nicholas Cage!

Final Rating: 1 out of 5

“This thing...there's no conscience…just hunger. The Rider's gonna come out. And when he does, he'll destroy whoever's got it coming.”

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Ghost Rider Extended Cut Blu-Ray Review

Not Rated (Horror Violence and Disturbing Images)

Running Time: 2 Hours & 3 Minutes

Cast-

Nicolas Cage-Johnny Blaze\Ghost Rider

Eva Mendes-Roxanne Simpson

Wes Bentley-Blackheart

Sam Elliott-The Caretaker

Peter Fonda-Mephistopheles

Donal Logue-Mack

Brett Cullen-Barton Blaze

Laurence Breuls-Gressil

Daniel Frederiksen-Wallow

Mathew Wilkinson-Abigor

David Roberts-Captain Dolan

Matt Long-Young Johnny Blaze

Raquel Alessi-Young Roxanne Simpson

Directed by Mark Steven Johnson

Ghost Rider, hopelessly in search of a better script.

What was once a pipe dream for many comic book fans has now become reality as Marvel Studios’ highly-anticipated “The Avengers” finally hits the big screen this summer after four years in the making. Although many credit Bryan Singer’s “X-Men” for revitalizing Hollywood’s interest in superheroes and all things comic book, it was actually 1998’s “Blade” that finally spurred Marvel to take an active role in developing film adaptations of their major characters as many were mired in development hell. While Marvel has enjoyed much critical and financial success over the past ten years, their track record is not exactly spotless as a number of their adaptations unfortunately end up as failures and even outright train wrecks. An example would be 2007’s “Ghost Rider,” based upon the character of the same name created by writers Roy Thomas and Gary Friedrich with illustrator Mike Ploog. Since his first appearance in 1972’s Marvel Spotlight #5, Ghost Rider has remained a permanent fixture of the Marvel Universe but his popularity waned since the cancellation of his third series in 1998. Various mini-series continued his story but attempts to revitalize the character have proven to be short-lived. I am actually a big fan of Ghost Rider and avidly read the comics while growing up during the early 1990s but the stories certainly paled in comparison to Spider-Man or the X-Men as he was largely a ‘visual’ character. Development of a Ghost Rider film stretched as far back as 2000 but filming did not commence until early 2005 and it was finally released in 2007 after a series of delays from Sony/Columbia Pictures. Unfortunately, director Mark Steven Johnson reduces what is essentially a violent character to a campy Saturday Morning Cartoon as “Ghost Rider” is marred by a cliché-ridden script, hamstrung dialogue, and boring action scenes. The only element deserving of praise are the visual effects but it is ultimately not enough to salvage this unholy mess of a film. 

Long ago in the American Old West, the Devil Mephistopheles (Peter Fonda) sends his demonic bounty hunter, the Ghost Rider, to retrieve the contract of a thousand damned souls from the abandoned town of San Venganza. However, the Rider refuses to turn it over to his master when he realizes the contract has the power to bring about the End of Days and he instead goes into hiding. Hundreds of years later, Mephistopheles appears before a young motorcycle stuntman named Johnny Blaze and offers to cure his father’s (Brett Cullen) cancer in exchange for his soul. Blaze inadvertently agrees when a drop of his blood lands on the contract’s signature space due to a paper cut. The next day, Blaze finds his father miraculously cured but he is suddenly killed the same day while performing a dangerous stunt. Mephistopheles says that he upheld his part of the bargain and reveals that he will come for Blaze when he has need for him in the future. Feeling responsible for his father’s death, Blaze leaves his girlfriend Roxanne behind and sets off on his own. He (Nicholas Cage) grows up to be a world-famous motorcycle daredevil thanks to his death-defying stunts which often end in disaster. Blaze reunites with Roxanne (Eva Mendes), now a television journalist, and convinces her go on a dinner date with him as he still has feelings for her. However, Mephistopheles’ rebellious son Blackheart (Wes Bentley) arrives on Earth to look for the legendary contract of San Venganza in an attempt to wield unlimited power. Blaze is subsequently transformed into the demonic Ghost Rider in order to stop him and win back his soul. 

Ghost Rider was never a particularly ‘deep’ character to begin with compared to someone like Spider-Man but Mark Steven Johnson (who also directed 2003’s passable “Daredevil”) somehow manages to turn him into a Saturday Morning Cartoon. The origin remains somewhat faithful to the source material but the tone is simply all wrong. Thanks to Johnson’s incompetence as a writer, the script is full of groan-inducing clichés and makes little sense as you’re left scratching your head as to why Mephistopheles is unable to take back the power of the Ghost Rider since he is the one who granted it in the first place! In the comics, Blaze was bound to the demon Zarathos by Mephisto as an act of revenge for not being able to obtain his soul. This internal struggle to maintain his humanity would have made for some solid drama but instead Johnson tacks on this bounty hunter nonsense. He also undermines the integrity of the character by having Blaze duped into making the deal rather than giving away his soul on his own freewill and living with the consequences of that choice. The romance elements end up being too sappy to take seriously and are insufficiently developed but the atrocious dialogue drags the film down to the level of direct-to-video camp with such delightful gems like ‘Back to Hell!’ or ‘You're going down!’ It appears that all the hard work (and money) has gone into the visual effects and they are actually impressive as Ghost Rider does look convincing with his CG skull and fire. The transformation scene is sadly the film’s only highlight since the action fails to drum up any level of excitement. Blackheart is accompanied by three disposable henchmen who put up little resistance against Ghost Rider. One of them even begins to beg for mercy after sustaining one punch to the face! What kind of demons are these?! 

The performances are lackluster and are over the place with Nicholas Cage completely miscast as Johnny Blaze with his weird Elvis-like mannerisms and mumbling line readings. Let me remind you that Cage won an Academy Award for Best Actor in 1995’s “Leaving Las Vegas” but the last film to have garnered similar praise was 2002’s “Adaptation,” which was ten years ago! Since then, he has appeared in one terrible film after another due to being in so much debt that he is forced to accept any project that is offered to him. Eva Mendes spends her time pouting and baring her cleavage. She’s about as convincing as a television journalist as Denise Richards was a nuclear physicist in “007 The World is Not Enough.” Wes Bentley reduces one of the most powerful villains in the Marvel Universe to a walking punch-line while Peter Fonda appears disinterested to the point where he might as well just a wear a sign that reads: ‘Here only for paycheck!’ Finally, Sam Elliott serves little purpose other than to provide needless exposition. 

“Ghost Rider” rode onto Blu-Ray back in June, 2007 in an extended cut that adds nine minutes of worthless filler material. The film may be terrible but the video and audio quality remains demo material despite being one of the earlier releases on Blu-Ray. Colors are vivid and texture detail is strong despite much of the film taking place at night with rich shadows abounding in every scene. The highlights are certainly the CG-heavy sequences as Ghost Rider has never looked better in high definition. Audio is heavy on bass thanks to its aggressive sound effects and music but dialogue and ambiance remain sharp amidst all the noise. If only Johnson had applied the same amounts of effort in the story instead of concentrating on making the film look and sound good. A healthy dose of special features round out the package with a lengthy 82-minute look at the making of the film as well as two audio commentaries with Mark Steven Johnson and visual effects supervisor Kevin Mack on one and producer Gary Foster on the other. Johnson actually goes into something of a rant against his critics but all he does is prove them right and refuses to acknowledge the fact that his film just isn’t very good to put it lightly. 

Released on February 16, 2007, “Ghost Rider” received largely negative reviews with 26% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics panned it as ‘a sour mix of morose, glum histrionics amidst jokey puns and hammy dialogue.’ The film actually managed to deliver a sizable debut over President’s Day weekend with $52 million and went on to gross a solid $229 million worldwide (the production budget was $110 million), something that Sony/Columbia Pictures is looking to repeat with the sequel “Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance” with Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor at the helm. Ghost Rider was a character that always relied on visuals than story-telling but there was certainly enough material from the comic books to craft an entertaining film. Unfortunately, all this potential is wasted thanks to Mark Steven Johnson’s complete incompetence as a writer and director. While the film may have big-budget visual effects, everything else would barely qualify as a direct-to-video release. At least it can take solace in the fact that “Batman & Robin” is still the worst comic book film.

Final Rating: 1.5 out of 5

“I'm gonna own this curse...and I'm gonna use it against you. Whenever innocent blood is spilt, it'll be my father's blood...and you'll find me there. A spirit of vengeance…fighting fire with fire.”

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