The Expendables 2 Review

Rated R (Strong Bloody Violence Throughout)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 43 Minutes

Cast-

Sylvester Stallone-Barney Ross

Jason Statham-Lee Christmas

Jet Li-Yin Yang

Dolph Lundgren-Gunner Jensen

Terry Crews-Hale Caesar

Randy Couture-Toll Road

Yu Nan-Maggie Chen

Liam Hemsworth-Billy the Kid

Jean-Claude Van Damme-Jean Vilain

Chuck Norris-Booker

Bruce Willis-Mr. Church

Arnold Schwarzenegger-Trench

Scott Adkins-Hector

Charisma Carpenter-Lacy

Directed by Simon West

Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Bruce Willis make guns go boom in "The Expendables 2." Their presence will make you spontaneously grow a beard.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Chuck Norris, Dolph Lundren…these are the larger-than-life action heroes that dominated the 1980's and the early 1990's but as audience's tastes changed and the use of CG became more widespread, their star slowly faded. Many of the action flicks that were popular three decades ago were rated R but as production budgets continued to increase, the pressure on Hollywood to appeal to a worldwide audience in order to recoup their expenses intensified, such as when 2007's "Live Free or Die Hard" was edited down to a PG-13 at the request of 20th Century Fox, a practice that has now become commonplace. In order to pay homage and revitalize the bloody action films of yesteryear, Stallone co-wrote, directed, and starred in 2010's "The Expendables," which featured an impressive array of action veterans but nothing could compare to the moment when Stallone, Schwarzenegger, and Willis finally appeared on-screen together for the first time. Despite grossing $274 million worldwide, "The Expendables" received negative reviews from critics with 41% on Rotten Tomatoes. While I may have been too harsh in hindsight with my rating of 1.5 out of 5, my opinion remains the same: the film was a major disappointment due to its atrocious dialogue and headache-inducing action scenes that were liable to cause brain damage. Two years later, the geriatric mercenaries are back in "The Expendables 2" and while it delivers on more of the same, the fun factor that was noticeably absent in the original can be found here in full force. Packed with hilariously cheesy puns and a larger cast that includes Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme, plus expanded roles for Schwarzenegger and Willis, "The Expendables 2" is what its predecessor should've been and will leave action junkies with an orgasmic smile on their face as they exit the theater. 

Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) and his team of mayhem-loving mercenaries known as the Expendables (Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews, and Randy Couture) are back in action and along with a new recruit named Billy the Kid (Liam Hemsworth), they commit a daring rescue in the jungles of Nepal involving a Chinese billionaire. The team also frees rival mercenary Trench (Arnold Schwarzenegger), who bemoans the fact that he'll have to owe Barney in the future. Yin Yang returns the billionaire to Beijing while also taking an indefinite leave of absence from the team. The rest of the Expendables fly back to the United States on their rickety plane for some much needed rest but their time-off comes to an end when mysterious CIA agent Mr. Church (Bruce Willis) reminds Barney that he owes him for the mess they made in Vilena. Church gives the team a new assignment where they are to retrieve an item locked in a safe on a plane that was shot down over Albania. Since the safe has a password that changes every two minutes, a tech specialist named Maggie Chen (Yu Nan) will be accompanying the team on their mission. Landing in the mountains of Albania, the team makes a fifteen kilometer trek to the crash-site. Despite some difficulty, the team manages to recover the item from the safe but a notorious arms dealer named Jean Vilain (Jean-Claude Van Damme), the leader of a ruthless cartel called the Sangs, forces them to hand it over at or he will kill one of their members. The Expendables reluctantly comply but Vilain viciously kills one of their own anyway using Barney's own knife before he leaves. After mourning the loss of their comrade, Barney demands Maggie to tell him what was in the safe and she reveals that it is a computer blueprint of a Russian mine that contains five tons of weapons-grade plutonium left over from the Cold War. Trapped in hostile territory, the Expendables swear vengeance against Vilain because this time…it's personal. 

"The Expendables 2" may have a laughably paper-thin plot and little in the way of character development but it remains one heck of a wild ride, capturing all of these larger-than-life personalities kicking ass while trading cheesy quips that poke fun at themselves. The original "Expendables" attempted to portray its characters as troubled individuals haunted by their past sins but only Mickey Rourke's Tool was able to make this work in a brilliant monologue. The rest of the film was marred by some truly god-awful dialogue. Thankfully, this is jettisoned in the sequel, although there are still some 'dramatic' moments, largely pertaining to Hemsworth's Billy the Kid, that come off as clunky and forced but fortunately, they are brief. The story is written by Ken Kaufman, David Agosto, and Richard Wenk this time around and is a lot more straight-forward, putting the Expendables on a mission of revenge when one of their own is ruthlessly killed during a mission that goes horribly wrong. Sure, it's generic and offers virtually no surprises but as an excuse to throw a bunch of action stars who are long past their prime together, it works, more so than in its predecessor. The dialogue can get downright terrible at times, such as a scene where the team trades food-based racial innuendos but the surprisingly self-aware tone makes it apparent that this film functions as low-brow entertainment and is not to be taken seriously. The cast frequently pokes fun at their senior status and make numerous references to their previous work. Crews' Hale Caesar warns Schwarzenegger's Trench that he is 'terminated' if he doesn't return his gun but such lines pale in comparison to the priceless moment when Chuck Norris single-handedly takes out a tank and a group of Sangs before recounting a hilarious anecdote where a king cobra bit him and subsequently died after five 'painful days', a reference to the famous 'Chuck Norris Facts' meme which have become a worldwide internet phenomenon. During the climactic battle, Trench and Willis' Mr. Church team up and trade a number of funny quips, with Willis remarking to Schwarzenegger that 'this time, I'll be back!' This prompts a scowling Schwarzenegger to say 'Yippee-ki-yay,' but he omits the 'motherf*cker.' These moments add to the nostalgia factor, which was sadly missing in the original. 

Of course, audiences who are seeing the film want to know how the action stacks up and it does not disappoint thanks to Simon West's steady camerawork, although the decision to shoot digitally leads to night-time scenes and close-ups looking distractingly grainy or out of focus. "The Expendables 2" opens with an elaborate sequence that has the team blowing their enemies to bits and causing all manner of property damage before closing in a large shootout at an airport that has Stallone engaging in a one-on-one brawl with Van Damme, where he does his famous roundhouse kick not once…but twice! Statham also dons the garb of a priest before showing off his knife skills, proclaiming to the Sangs that he now pronounces them 'man and knife.' Jet Li is unfortunately reduced to a cameo role, exiting the film before the title card pops up but he still leaves an impression as he takes on a number of soldiers using nothing but pots and pans, a nice nod to his peer Jackie Chan. 

If you're wondering why I haven't mentioned the acting, it's because there isn't any since the cast are basically playing exaggerated, superhero versions of themselves. Jean-Claude Van Damme is surprisingly eloquent as the ridiculously named 'Jean Vilain' and Arnold Schwarzenegger proves that he still has plenty of charisma left even though he now qualifies for Social Security. There's also a new female character named Maggie played by Yu Nan but her mumbled line readings make it seem like she's disinterested, with the romance that develops between her and Barney falling flat on its face. Finally, there's Liam Hemsworth as sniper Billy the Kid, who is given the bulk of the drama. He delivers a solid, if unremarkable, performance. 

Released on August 17, 2012, "The Expendables 2" has received positive reviews with 68% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics agreed that it gave 'classic action fans everything they can reasonably expect from a star-studded shoot-'em-up—for better and for worse.' Despite competition from three other releases ("ParaNorman," "Sparkle," and "The Odd Life of Timothy Green"), the film easily took the top spot at the box office with $28.5 million, which was down 18% from the original two years ago. A final domestic gross of $100 million is still reachable, although "The Expendables 3" will have to do more other than just adding new cast members. Embracing its bigger and bolder mentality, "The Expendables 2" delivers exactly as the previews promised with its explosive action scenes but it also has a sense of fun that its predecessor lacked. Yes, it's dumb and holds no real surprises but as a love letter to the action flicks of yore, this sequel is a resounding success.

Final Rating: 3.5 out of 5

Lee Christmas: What's the plan?

Barney Ross: Track 'em, find 'em, kill 'em!