Rated
PG-13 (Violence, Sci-Fi/Fantasy Action, Some Sensuality, and Language including
Sex References)
Running
Time: 1 Hour & 36 Minutes
Cast-
Jeff
Bridges-Roy Pulsipher
Ryan
Reynolds-Nick Walker
Kevin
Bacon-Bobby Hayes
Mary-Louise
Parker-Mildred Proctor
Stephanie
Szostak-Julia Walker
Robert
Knepper-Stanley Nawlicki
James
Hong-Jerry Chen/Nick's Avatar
Marisa
Miller-Opal Pavlenko/Roy's Avatar
Mike
O'Malley-Elliot
Devin
Ratray-Pulaski
Directed
by Robert Schwentke
 |
| "R.I.P.D."--another in a long line of ill-fated comic book films. |
Note: Screened on Thursday, July 18, 2013 at Regal E-Walk Stadium 13.
Comic
book films rake in billions of dollars worldwide year after year but that doesn't
mean Hollywood should go and adapt every
comic book property for the big-screen. Looking back, was 2005's "Elektra"
really necessary? Who in their right minds was expecting that film to gross $100
million, especially in January?! Such is the case for "R.I.P.D.," based
on the 1999 mini-series created by Peter Lenkov and published by Dark Horse
Comics, whose film division hasn't enjoyed the best track record compared to their
more famous competitors. 2004's "Hellboy" and its 2008 sequel stands as
one of their biggest successes but then you have 1999's "Virus" and 2005's
horrid "Son of the Mask," widely considered to be one of the worst
films ever made. Dumped into theaters with little to no fanfare, "R.I.P.D."
occasionally stirs to life thanks to Jeff Bridges' lively performance but Robert
Schwentke's film is pretty much dead on arrival with its bland script, flat
comedy, and subpar action scenes.
Wanting
to secure a better financial future with his wife Julia (Stephanie Szostak),
Boston police officer Nick Walker (Ryan Reynolds) and his longtime partner Bobby
Hayes (Kevin Bacon) pilfer a cache of gold during a drug bust but Nick's guilt gets
the better of him and he makes it clear to Bobby that he no longer wants to steal
anymore. The two are soon called in to take part in a massive raid against a
meth operation but Bobby double-crosses Nick and guns him down in cold-blood
while the other officers are engaged in a shootout with the drug dealers. Nick dies
and is whisked away upward to the afterlife, where he is given a choice by Mildred
Proctor (Mary-Louise Parker): join the R.I.P.D. (the Rest in Peace Department)
for one-hundred years or risk judgment from the 'Big Guy' upstairs. Seeing this
as a chance to reunite with his wife, Nick readily chooses the former and is paired
with veteran R.I.P.D. officer Roy Pulsipher (Jeff Bridges), a former lawman
from the 1800's. Roy begins to show Nick the ropes and fills him in on taking out
'Deados,' troubled souls who have remained trapped on Earth instead of moving
on to Heaven or Hell. As Nick slowly gets used to his new existence, he and Roy
uncover a plot involving Hayes that could spell doom for the entire world if his
plans succeed.
"R.I.P.D."
is one of those films that will leave you wondering how it even got made in the
first place. Director Robert Schwentke tries to recapture the humorous,
irreverent tone of 1997's "Men in Black" but he stumbles out of the gate
from the very first scene as audiences are greeted by a poorly-rendered CG ghoul
jumping around while our two lead characters give chase. Cribbing from Barry
Sonnenfeld's film as well as 1984's "Ghostbusters," the central premise
revolves around dead law enforcement officers who find themselves recruited in
the afterlife by a police force calling itself the R.I.P.D. Each new recruit is
given a minimum term of service of one-hundred years and are tasked with either
capturing or killing renegade souls that have evaded judgment. As derivative as
that sounds, I'll admit to being intrigued but the end result is a lumbering bore
that wheezes from scene to scene despite its brief 96 minute running time. There
are some amusing flourishes, such as the R.I.P.D. headquarters being populated
with officers from different eras and that their method of travel to the real
world is through a portable toilet, which exits out to a rundown VCR repair
store. The 'Deados' they capture are revealed through a series of bizarre questions
or by exposing them to cumin (I'm not even kidding here). However, people from
the real world perceive the officers differently, with Nick looking like an elderly
Asian man (played by the great James Hong) while Roy resembles a Victoria's
Secret model (Marisa Miller). This unusual setup is funny the first time but it
quickly wears out its welcome and most of the jokes are just too stale to garner
any laughs.
The
script from Phil Hay and Matt Manfredi (whose previous credits include 2005's
"Æon Flux" and 2010's "Clash of the Titans") is content
with recycling the same old buddy cop clichés where Roy treats his new partner
with disdain due to his lack of experience, forcing Nick to prove himself to
the veteran. Now, these are issues that can be overcome if the two leads have a
good rapport with each other but that's unfortunately not the case. Ryan Reynolds
plays one of the blandest protagonists I've ever witnessed and looks completely
bored throughout the film. Jeff Bridges manages to add some life to the proceedings
with his hammy performance as Roy Pulsipher. The Academy Award winner is pretty
much parodying his own role as Rooster Cogburn from 2010's "True
Grit" and genuinely seems to be having fun; it's just too bad that he's saddled
with the dead weight that is Reynolds. The rest of the cast is also a mixed bag.
Kevin Bacon speaks with this awful Boston accent while Stephanie Szostak is reduced
to being the damsel-in-distress. Mary-Louise Parker lands a few solid laughs as
Mildred Proctor, the R.I.P.D.'s no-nonsense personal manager. It makes you wish
that the film focused on her and Bridges' characters instead.
Although
its production budget is listed as $130 million, it doesn't seem like Schwentke
put it to good use. The ghoulish 'Deados' that the R.I.P.D. battles with is frequently
marred by poor CG work and the finale makes the film look like something out of
the SyFy channel. Hell, I was almost expecting a shark to come leaping out of
those whirling portals! The 3D conversion is also rather shoddy and was apparently
done in only five months. There are moments where there's a noticeable sense of
depth, particularly with scenes involving lots of dust or debris but the image
is literally flat for most of its running time. You could actually just take
off your glasses and watch the film without them since the amount of blur is
very minimal, almost to the point of being non-existent.
Released
on July 19, 2013, "R.I.P.D." has received overwhelmingly negative
reviews with 15% on Rotten Tomatoes. Universal was hiding the film until the
very last minute and it was screened for critics mere hours before its official
release. Their consensus: 'it has its moments—most of them courtesy of Jeff Bridges'
rootin' tootin' performance as an undead Wild West sheriff—but [the film] is ultimately
too dim-witted and formulaic to satisfy.' Due to a weak marketing campaign,
it's pretty much guaranteed to be a box office flop this weekend, with Universal
standing to lose a bundle of money on this one. Made without any passion or
energy, "R.I.P.D." is a waste of time for everyone and it's a real
shame that the studio chose to waste $130 million on this crap rather than
invest in something better.
Final
Rating: 2 out of 5
"We
are the greatest law men that ever lived and died. Now, some souls hide out
among the living. Here's the deal. Our job is catching bad souls that escaped
the afterlife. Bag it, tag it and bury it deep."
Posts
