R.I.P.D. 3D Review

Rated PG-13 (Violence, Sci-Fi/Fantasy Action, Some Sensuality, and Language including Sex References)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 36 Minutes

Cast-

Jeff Bridges-Roy Pulsipher

Ryan Reynolds-Nick Walker

Kevin Bacon-Bobby Hayes

Mary-Louise Parker-Mildred Proctor

Stephanie Szostak-Julia Walker

Robert Knepper-Stanley Nawlicki

James Hong-Jerry Chen/Nick's Avatar

Marisa Miller-Opal Pavlenko/Roy's Avatar

Mike O'Malley-Elliot

Devin Ratray-Pulaski

Directed by Robert Schwentke

"R.I.P.D."--another in a long line of ill-fated comic book films.

Note: Screened on Thursday, July 18, 2013 at Regal E-Walk Stadium 13.

Comic book films rake in billions of dollars worldwide year after year but that doesn't mean Hollywood should go and adapt every comic book property for the big-screen. Looking back, was 2005's "Elektra" really necessary? Who in their right minds was expecting that film to gross $100 million, especially in January?! Such is the case for "R.I.P.D.," based on the 1999 mini-series created by Peter Lenkov and published by Dark Horse Comics, whose film division hasn't enjoyed the best track record compared to their more famous competitors. 2004's "Hellboy" and its 2008 sequel stands as one of their biggest successes but then you have 1999's "Virus" and 2005's horrid "Son of the Mask," widely considered to be one of the worst films ever made. Dumped into theaters with little to no fanfare, "R.I.P.D." occasionally stirs to life thanks to Jeff Bridges' lively performance but Robert Schwentke's film is pretty much dead on arrival with its bland script, flat comedy, and subpar action scenes.

Wanting to secure a better financial future with his wife Julia (Stephanie Szostak), Boston police officer Nick Walker (Ryan Reynolds) and his longtime partner Bobby Hayes (Kevin Bacon) pilfer a cache of gold during a drug bust but Nick's guilt gets the better of him and he makes it clear to Bobby that he no longer wants to steal anymore. The two are soon called in to take part in a massive raid against a meth operation but Bobby double-crosses Nick and guns him down in cold-blood while the other officers are engaged in a shootout with the drug dealers. Nick dies and is whisked away upward to the afterlife, where he is given a choice by Mildred Proctor (Mary-Louise Parker): join the R.I.P.D. (the Rest in Peace Department) for one-hundred years or risk judgment from the 'Big Guy' upstairs. Seeing this as a chance to reunite with his wife, Nick readily chooses the former and is paired with veteran R.I.P.D. officer Roy Pulsipher (Jeff Bridges), a former lawman from the 1800's. Roy begins to show Nick the ropes and fills him in on taking out 'Deados,' troubled souls who have remained trapped on Earth instead of moving on to Heaven or Hell. As Nick slowly gets used to his new existence, he and Roy uncover a plot involving Hayes that could spell doom for the entire world if his plans succeed.

"R.I.P.D." is one of those films that will leave you wondering how it even got made in the first place. Director Robert Schwentke tries to recapture the humorous, irreverent tone of 1997's "Men in Black" but he stumbles out of the gate from the very first scene as audiences are greeted by a poorly-rendered CG ghoul jumping around while our two lead characters give chase. Cribbing from Barry Sonnenfeld's film as well as 1984's "Ghostbusters," the central premise revolves around dead law enforcement officers who find themselves recruited in the afterlife by a police force calling itself the R.I.P.D. Each new recruit is given a minimum term of service of one-hundred years and are tasked with either capturing or killing renegade souls that have evaded judgment. As derivative as that sounds, I'll admit to being intrigued but the end result is a lumbering bore that wheezes from scene to scene despite its brief 96 minute running time. There are some amusing flourishes, such as the R.I.P.D. headquarters being populated with officers from different eras and that their method of travel to the real world is through a portable toilet, which exits out to a rundown VCR repair store. The 'Deados' they capture are revealed through a series of bizarre questions or by exposing them to cumin (I'm not even kidding here). However, people from the real world perceive the officers differently, with Nick looking like an elderly Asian man (played by the great James Hong) while Roy resembles a Victoria's Secret model (Marisa Miller). This unusual setup is funny the first time but it quickly wears out its welcome and most of the jokes are just too stale to garner any laughs.

The script from Phil Hay and Matt Manfredi (whose previous credits include 2005's "Æon Flux" and 2010's "Clash of the Titans") is content with recycling the same old buddy cop clichés where Roy treats his new partner with disdain due to his lack of experience, forcing Nick to prove himself to the veteran. Now, these are issues that can be overcome if the two leads have a good rapport with each other but that's unfortunately not the case. Ryan Reynolds plays one of the blandest protagonists I've ever witnessed and looks completely bored throughout the film. Jeff Bridges manages to add some life to the proceedings with his hammy performance as Roy Pulsipher. The Academy Award winner is pretty much parodying his own role as Rooster Cogburn from 2010's "True Grit" and genuinely seems to be having fun; it's just too bad that he's saddled with the dead weight that is Reynolds. The rest of the cast is also a mixed bag. Kevin Bacon speaks with this awful Boston accent while Stephanie Szostak is reduced to being the damsel-in-distress. Mary-Louise Parker lands a few solid laughs as Mildred Proctor, the R.I.P.D.'s no-nonsense personal manager. It makes you wish that the film focused on her and Bridges' characters instead.

Although its production budget is listed as $130 million, it doesn't seem like Schwentke put it to good use. The ghoulish 'Deados' that the R.I.P.D. battles with is frequently marred by poor CG work and the finale makes the film look like something out of the SyFy channel. Hell, I was almost expecting a shark to come leaping out of those whirling portals! The 3D conversion is also rather shoddy and was apparently done in only five months. There are moments where there's a noticeable sense of depth, particularly with scenes involving lots of dust or debris but the image is literally flat for most of its running time. You could actually just take off your glasses and watch the film without them since the amount of blur is very minimal, almost to the point of being non-existent.

Released on July 19, 2013, "R.I.P.D." has received overwhelmingly negative reviews with 15% on Rotten Tomatoes. Universal was hiding the film until the very last minute and it was screened for critics mere hours before its official release. Their consensus: 'it has its moments—most of them courtesy of Jeff Bridges' rootin' tootin' performance as an undead Wild West sheriff—but [the film] is ultimately too dim-witted and formulaic to satisfy.' Due to a weak marketing campaign, it's pretty much guaranteed to be a box office flop this weekend, with Universal standing to lose a bundle of money on this one. Made without any passion or energy, "R.I.P.D." is a waste of time for everyone and it's a real shame that the studio chose to waste $130 million on this crap rather than invest in something better.

Final Rating: 2 out of 5

"We are the greatest law men that ever lived and died. Now, some souls hide out among the living. Here's the deal. Our job is catching bad souls that escaped the afterlife. Bag it, tag it and bury it deep."