Planes 3D Review

Rated PG (Some Mild Action and Rude Humor)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 32 Minutes

Cast (voice)-

Dane Cook-Dusty Crophopper

Brad Garrett-Chug

Teri Hatcher-Dottie

Stacy Keach-Skipper Riley

Roger Craig Smith-Ripslinger

Priyanka Chopra-Ishani

Carlos Alazraqui-El Chupacabra

Julia Louis-Dreyfus-Rochelle

John Cleese-Bulldog

Cedric Antonio Kyles aka Cedric the Entertainer-Leadbottom

Gabriel Iglesias-Ned/Zed

David Adkins aka Sinbad-Roper

Val Kilmer-Bravo

Anthony Edwards-Echo

Colin Cowherd-Colin Cowling

Oliver Kalkofe-Franz/Fliegenhozen

Brent Musburger-Brent Mustangburger

John Ratzenberger-Harland

Directed by Klay Hall

Parents, you will be suckered into buying this toy for your kids.

Note: Screened on Tuesday, August 6, 2013 at AMC Loews Orpheum 7.

'I'm all about makin' that money,' remarks a blinged out James Franco in March's "Spring Breakers," director Harmony Korine's subversive ode to American materialism and excess. Well, Disney is all about makin' that money too. How else would you explain the existence of "Planes"? An official spin-off from Pixar's "Cars" franchise, the animated film began life as a direct-to-video release from DisneyToon Studios (they're responsible for all those needless sequels to Disney classics that clutter your local video store) but it received a theatrical upgrade last December when early footage impressed studio executives at Walt Disney Pictures. More likely, they saw dollar signs after the "Cars" films brought in over $10 billion in merchandise sales. In fact, a "Planes" sequel is already set for release in summer 2014. Given all the toys that parents will be suckered into buying for their kids over the holiday season, a series like this pretty much pays for itself…in billions. Although "Planes" isn't as bad as I was initially dreading it to be thanks to some nifty aerial sequences and energetic voice acting, it doesn't change the fact that the film is nothing more than a shameless, corporate cash-grab.

Living in the sleepy town of Propwash Junction, Dusty Crophopper (Dane Cook) spends his mornings dusting crops at the local cornfield but he dreams of one day becoming a world-famous air racer despite being repeatedly told that he'll never be fast enough. With a little encouragement from his best friends Chug (Brad Garrett) and Dottie (Teri Hatcher), Dusty enters the 'Wings Around the Globe Rally' and manages to defy all odds by just barely earning a place in the competition. To prepare, he convinces crotchety war veteran Skipper Riley (Stacy Keach) to train him but is unable to overcome his fear of heights. Skipper works around this and soon Dusty joins the other racers, which include stuffy British champion Bulldog (John Cleese), Indian flyer Ishani (Priyanka Chopra), amorous Mexican El Chupacabra (Carlos Alazraqui), French-Canadian Rochelle (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), and the villainous Ripslinger (Roger Craig Smith), in New York City. The intense competition takes Dusty all around the world, from New York to the Himalayas, and he quickly becomes an underdog favorite in the race in spite of his extreme acrophobia. As he comes to realize his true potential, reigning superstar Ripslinger attempts to sabotage the little crop-dusting plane's chances in order to secure the prize for himself.

In his own review, Drew McWeeny of HitFix humorously summarizes the press materials for "Planes": 'We started work on this as a direct-to-video quickie, but it looked nicer than we expected, so we decided to squeeze out a few bucks in the theater first.' It sure must be demoralizing at DisneyToon Studios given that almost all of their releases (a whopping sixty) are blatant cash-grabs. Every classic Disney film from "Cinderella" to "Tarzan" has had one or more direct-to-video sequel or prequel from them. With children eating up anything these days, it shouldn't come as a huge surprise that a film like "Planes" exists. Directed by Klay Hall (a former supervising director for the television series "King of the Hill"), the opening title card bizarrely reminds us that the film takes place in the 'World of Cars' even though it's been plastered on every poster already. While Pixar wasn't personally involved in the project, the person responsible for coming up with the initial concept was none other than John Lasseter, the director of the original "Cars" and its much-maligned sequel. Lasseter retains a story credit here (in addition to executive producer) but the screenplay was written by Jeffrey M. Howard, whose previous work consists of all those endless "Tinker Bell" movies hogging up store shelves at your local Toys 'R' Us.    

Either way, it doesn't matter who came up with what or who wrote the script because the plot is generic to a fault. It's the same damn underdog story that's been told countless times already, more recently in DreamWorks Animation's "Turbo." Several elements of "Planes" are recycled from the "Cars" films, with Propwash Junction standing in for Radiator Springs and Skipper Riley replacing Doc Hudson. Hell, they even went so far as to make Dusty Crophopper sound like Lightning McQueen! There are some amusing bits, largely stemming from El Chupacabra's repeated attempts to get into Rochelle's plane engine but does the film have to rely so much on broad ethnic stereotypes? It downright borders on being offensive at times. To pad out the running time and add some 'drama,' there are some superfluous subplots surrounding Dusty's ironic fear of heights and Skipper hiding a secret from his past yet it ultimately changes nothing: "Planes" is a lazy endeavor designed only to sell toys…and lots of them.

When you're watching an animated film that's clearly made for kids, your mind tends to wander and you start questioning the logic of the world that's being shown. For one, why does Dusty need to water the crops if there are no people to eat them? Who's inside of all those commercial airplanes at the airport? How do all these vehicles even reproduce? Do they just bang their engines against each other? As you try to unravel the logic of these films, it starts to dawn on you that the only way "Cars," and by extension "Planes," makes sense is if you conclude that all this is taking place in some post-apocalyptic future where humans somehow don't exist anymore. That being said, the CG animation at least reminds you that some effort went into the making of this film. Sure, it lacks the detail and technical prowess of rival animation studios but it does capture the thrill and freedom of being in the air with its various aerial set-pieces. The highlight is when Dusty finds himself trapped in a thunderstorm in the middle of the Pacific. Unfortunately, the 3D adds little to the experience and actually turns all the colors into a dull shade. Considering the film's subject matter, the added effect represents a missed opportunity.

The voice cast is loaded with celebrity talent and includes Stacy Keach, Brad Garrett, Teri Hatcher, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Priyanka Chopra, John Cleese, Cedric the Entertainer, and many others. Even though it's obvious that this is only a paycheck gig for them, they at least managed to inject some life into the film and kept it from being a total bore. As Dusty Crophopper, Dane Cook doesn't do much besides mimic Owen Wilson's voice and the sole piece of inspired casting comes from Val Kilmer and Anthony Edwards as two Super Hornet fighter jets, a clever, if obvious, nod to 1986's "Top Gun."

Released on August 9, 2013, "Planes" has received overwhelmingly negative reviews with 24% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics noted that it 'has enough bright colors, goofy voices, and slick animation to distract some young viewers for 92 minutes—and probably sell plenty of toys in the bargain—but on nearly every other level, it's a Disney disappointment.' Honestly, who was surprised by this reaction? Coming into an already crowded summer, some box office analysts believed the film would earn as much as $30 million but at this point, most families are probably burnt out on animated fare so a final weekend gross of $20 million is a more reasonable estimate. Still, Disney is already laughing their way to the bank with all the merchandise they're going to sell. Ultimately, it doesn't matter what critics like me think of "Planes" because children will love it regardless of what we say. This was clearly evident at the advance screening. At least it can take solace in the fact that it's better than "The Smurfs 2." That has to count for something.

Final Rating: 2.5 out of 5

"It ain't how fast you fly, its how you fly fast."