The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones Review

Rated PG-13 (Intense Sequences of Fantasy Violence and Action, and Some Suggestive Content)

Running Time: 2 Hours & 10 Minutes

Cast-

Lily Collins-Clarissa 'Clary' Fray

Jamie Campbell Bower-Jonathan 'Jace' Wayland

Robert Sheehan-Simon Lewis

Kevin Zegers-Alexander 'Alec' Lightwood

Jemima West-Isabelle Lightwood

Jonathan Rhys Meyers-Valentine Morgenstern

Aidan Turner-Luke Garroway

Lena Headey-Jocelyn Fray

Godfrey Gao-Magnus Bane

Jared Harris-Hodge Starkweather

Kevin Durand-Emil Pangborn

Robert Maillet-Samuel Blackwell

C. C. H. Pounder-Madame Dorothea

Harry Van Gorkum-Alaric/Werewolf

Stephen R. Hart-Brother Jeremiah

Directed by Harald Zwart

Use the force and shake that hair like you just don't care!

Note: Screened on Monday, August 19, 2013 at AMC Empire 25.

I wonder how studio executives reacted once they learned that the so-called "Twilight Saga" had earned over $3.3 billion worldwide by the time the fifth (and last) film exited theaters back in March. They probably spat out their coffee and promptly sent all their assistants to the local Barnes & Noble with orders to buy every young adult novel on store shelves in the hopes of finding that one special title that would strike box office gold. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like their efforts are really paying off. Big screen adaptations of both "Beautiful Creatures" and "The Host" flopped earlier this year and only barely covered their production budgets once foreign grosses were factored in. Will the same fate befall Harald Zwart's "The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones"? Not to sound like a Negative Nancy but I don't think it'll be the massive hit that Screen Gems/Sony is hoping for. At least fans will get a sequel regardless of how much the film earns as "City of Ashes" has already been green-lit and set to go into production in September. Based on the 2007 novel in the best-selling Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare (obviously a pseudonym as her legal name is the more mundane Judith Rumelt), "City of Bones" liberally borrows from every piece of urban fantasy in existence but despite how derivative the film is, it remains a fun and surprisingly engaging guilty pleasure thanks to its endearing cast and self-aware humor.

Set in contemporary New York City, Brooklyn native Clarissa 'Clary' Fray (Lily Collins) is your normal, everyday teenage girl but her world is turned upside down when she witnesses a murder at a nightclub with her friend Simon Lewis (Robert Sheehan). Clary learns that the murder was committed by group of demon hunters called 'Shadowhunters' after she encounters one of them, the blond-haired, tattooed Jonathan 'Jace' Wayland (Jamie Campbell Bower) at a coffee shop. Meanwhile, two renegade Shadowhunters, Emil Pangborn (Kevin Durand) and Samuel Blackwell (Robert Maillet), kidnap Clary's mother Jocelyn (Lena Headey) while searching for a chalice known as the 'Mortal Cup,' one of three divine objects dubbed the 'Mortal Instruments.' To rescue her mother and retrieve the Cup, Clary enlists the help of Jace and his fellow Shadowhunters, the brother-sister duo Alec and Isabelle Lightwood (Kevin Zegers and Jemima West), and also learns of her family's history with the Clave from their leader Hodge Starkweather (Jared Harris). Clary must quickly learn to master her burgeoning Shadowhunter abilities if she is to face Valentine Morgenstern (Jonathan Rhys Meyers), the leader of a group of renegade Shadowhunters who call themselves 'the Circle.'

Vampires, werewolves, and demons, oh my! "The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones" certainly isn't lacking in scope as it throws every supernatural creature you can think of into the film. Curiously, the author of The Mortal Instruments novels began her career writing fan-fiction (similar to E.L. James of Fifty Shades of Grey fame), specifically Harry Potter fan-fiction. Her magnum opus was The Draco Trilogy, which reimagined the smug, petty, and spoiled Draco Malfoy of Slytherin House into a beautiful, angst-ridden anti-hero. You can clearly see shades of this characterization in Jace Wayland, right down to the tight leather pants, which ironically went on to become its very own genre trope. The screenplay for "City of Bones" was written by first-timer Jessica Postigo Paquette and I have to say, it's a convoluted mess that's frequently bogged down by too much exposition and not enough proper character development. Fans of the novels will be able to keep up with its dense mythology but newcomers may have trouble and find themselves quietly confused by the packed narrative. Despite this issue, I still found myself enjoying the film because it fully embraces the ridiculous underworld that Clare has created with its fetishistic black leather costumes and Goth makeup. The story even introduces a late-plot twist that might not go over so well with more conservative viewers but the fact that it had the balls to see it through to the end is something that I respect and admire. Compared to the aforementioned "Twilight" series, "City of Bones" never takes itself too seriously and always finds the time to sarcastically poke fun at itself, whether it'd be the unusual way the Shadowhunters dress or having werewolves come to the rescue while riding on motorcycles. I'm not even kidding around here.       

I've already mentioned that "City of Bones" is terribly derivative. However, this is both a disadvantage and an advantage. There's nothing remotely original about the film's plot as certain aspects are blatantly lifted from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and even "Star Wars" yet these reminders is actually part of the reason why I ended up being hooked since the two are so intrinsically linked to my childhood. It does suffer from a slow-paced second act though as this is where Paquette's script turns into the typical, clichéd young adult romance that it had largely avoided. We get scenes of Clary and Jace swooning all over each other, with the two kissing in a greenhouse just as the sprinklers turn on while a cheesy pop song from Demi Lovato plays in the background. Fortunately, the action-packed third act succeeds in ending the film on a strong enough note and includes Isabelle going full-on Ellen Ripley with a flamethrower. Although the budget is estimated to be $60 million, the production values aren't all that impressive and are more suited to a television series than a feature film. Still, Zwart manages to populate the picture with all manner of grotesque creatures, such as a Rottweiler whose head splits apart while its legs turn into these flailing tentacles. Called a 'Ravener Demon,' the thing looks like it came straight out of a Resident Evil game, which makes Clary our Jill Valentine.

The cast is undeniably attractive, especially Lily Collins with her bold eyebrows. In fact, I found myself distracted at times by her beauty. Collins still has a long way to go as an actress but she acquits herself in the lead role admirably, even though Clary can come across as impulsive and clumsy. I'll let that slide considering this is an origin story for her. Jamie Campbell Bower is, of course, our angst-ridden bad boy that always seem to make young girls squeal with joy. Every supernatural tale must have one nowadays. While it's evident that Bower was cast more for his looks, at least he brings a bit of that dry British humor to the table. Yes, he also appears shirtless in case you were wondering. Hell, even the nerdy geek, played by Robert Sheehan, mysteriously loses his clothes after being kidnapped by a bunch of vampires (thank god it's not the sparkly kind). Jemima West shines in the action scenes as the resident 'tough chick' Isabelle while Jonathan Rhys Meyers is clearly having a ball with his over-the-top turn as Valentine Morgenstern. Pretty soon all these films will end with two half-shirtless guys clashing their swords together…and I literally meant swords, so get your mind out of the gutter!

Released on August 21, 2013, "The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones" has unsurprisingly received largely negative reviews and currently stands at 26% on Rotten Tomatoes. The picture doesn't look all that rosy either box office wise as analysts are predicting a five-day total of less than $20 million. It definitely would've been prudent for Screen Gems/Sony to take a wait-and-see approach instead of barreling full steam ahead on a sequel. I'm well aware that my opinion is in the minority but it comes with the territory of being a film critic. "The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones" isn't great cinema and Zwart's direction is too workmanlike to make much of an impression yet there's no denying that the film has a certain charm with its crazy mythology and costumes. If people can embrace a man in a metal suit flying around, then the existence of an underground Goth subculture that hunts demons shouldn't be that farfetched.

Final Rating: 3.5 out of 5

"The werewolves are here to save us. I never thought I'd say that."