Sunday, January 26, 2014

I, Frankenstein - An IMAX 3D Experience Review

Rated PG-13 (Sequences of Intense Fantasy Action and Violence Throughout)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 33 Minutes

Cast-
Aaron Eckhart-Adam Frankenstein
Yvonne Strahovski-Dr. Terra Wade
Miranda Otto-Leonore, the Gargoyle Queen
Bill Nighy-Prince Naberius/Charles Wessex
Jai Courtney-Gideon
Mahesh Jadu-Ophir
Caitlin Stasey-Keziah
Nicholas Bell-Dr. Carl Avery
Deniz Akdeniz-Barachel
Chris Pang-Levi
Socratis Otto-Zuriel
Steve Mouzakis-Helek
Goran Kleut-Rekem
Kevin Grevioux-Dekar
Bruce Spence-Molokai
Aden Young-Dr. Victor Frankenstein
Virginie Le Brun-Elizabeth Lavenza-Frankenstein

Directed by Stuart Beattie

Aaron Eckhart stars in "I, Frankenstein," another strong contender for one of the worst films of 2014.
Note: At AMC Loews 34th Street 14.

Is it just me or are January films getting increasingly dumber every year? First there was the massive sh*t stain that was Renny Harlin's "The Legend of Hercules" and now we have Stuart Beattie's equally horrible "I, Frankenstein," based on the Darkstorm Studios graphic novel of the same name by Kevin Grevioux. Apparently, said graphic novel doesn't even have to be published nowadays before being adapted into a film. I searched for it on every comic book website I could think of (as I needed the publication year for this review) but could only find a lone listing on ComicVine for I, Frankenstein: Genesis, a 2013 digital prequel for the film. The reality is that there is no graphic novel, at least not in the form that we know of. When Grevioux (who previously launched the "Underworld" franchise in 2003 with director Len Wiseman) sold the first draft of his screenplay to Lakeshore Entertainment in 2010, he used the graphic novel pages that he had as part of his initial pitch because the concept of 'Frankenstein as a superhero' was seemingly too difficult to grasp for the producers. The resulting film reflects their lack of intelligence as "I, Frankenstein" 'reeks of studio interference by a collective of clueless behind-the-curtain bigwigs who don't give a damn about creative expression (Dustin Putman). "I, Frankenstein" is another strong contender for one of the worst films of 2014, a listless, dramatically inert, and visually ugly affair that's punctuated by mind-numbing action scenes so loud that you'll leave the theater angry with a pounding headache. Mary Shelley must be rolling in her grave right now.

In 1795, the brilliant scientist Victor Frankenstein (Aden Young) brings to life a hulking creature stitched together from body parts culled from various corpses and awakened through the power of electricity. Horrified by his creation, Victor attempts to dispose of the creature by dumping it into the river under a bridge but still it lived and in retaliation, the creature kills Victor's wife Elizabeth (Virginie Le Brun). Victor chases the fleeing monster to the Artic yet freezes to death before he can exact his revenge. The creature later recovers its creator's body and carries him to his family's cemetery, where he is subsequently buried. Following the burial, two demons suddenly attack the creature but it is rescued by two gargoyles that were perched on a nearby castle. Taking on human form, the demon hunters—whose names are Ophir (Mahesh Jadu) and Keziah (Caitlin Stasey)—bring Frankenstein's creation to Leonore (Miranda Otto), the leader of the 'Gargoyle Order.' Naming the creature 'Adam' (Aaron Eckhart), Leonore explains to him that their order was formed by the archangel Michael in order to turn the tide in the ongoing battle against the demons, spawned from the depths of Hell itself. She asks Adam to join their ranks but he gruffly declines, choosing to go his own way. For over two hundred years, Adam wages a one-man war against the demons while the dark prince Naberius (Bill Nighy), in his guise as wealthy businessman Charles Wessex, attempts to replicate Victor Frankenstein's experiment with the help of human electro-physiologists Terra Wade (Yvonne Strahovski) and Carl Avery (Nicholas Bell). When Adam's hunt for his pursuers results in the death of an innocent human bystander, he is forcibly pulled back into the ancient war between the gargoyles and the demons. Chased by a rebellious gargoyle named Gideon (Jai Courtney), Adam seeks refuge with Terra and together they search for Frankenstein's long-lost journal before Naberius can use it for his nefarious plans.

With almost every comic book property adapted into a film already, Hollywood studios are increasingly turning to fairy tales and classic literature for inspiration by reimagining the main characters as—you guessed it—action heroes. I admit that I was actually looking forward to seeing "I, Frankenstein" as the premise, despite its inherent silliness, held some promise. Even if the film didn't turn out as good as I had hoped, at least there would be some cheap action thrills but Stuart Beattie's picture can't even meet that modest expectation. The brainchild of writer/actor Kevin Grevioux, "I, Frankenstein" is essentially a derivative rip-off of the "Underworld" films (which were already derivative to begin with), minus the interesting world-building and Romeo-and-Juliet romance. Instead of Vampires and Lycans, we get Gargoyles and Demons. Its ties to Mary Shelley's 1818 novel are tenuous at best as it compresses the entirety of her book into a two-minute prologue. Obviously, you expect a film with the title "I, Frankenstein" to be ridiculous and over-the-top but Beattie and Grevioux treat the material with the utmost seriousness, like they're adapting Fyodor Dostoyevsky's Crime and Punishment for the big screen. Well, the 'punishment' part isn't far from accurate, especially for those who willingly choose to grind through this unholy mess…like me. The dialogue is often overloaded with nonsensical exposition and it's hard not to laugh as characters matter-of-factly explain to others about the ongoing war between the gargoyles and the demons. The only intentionally humorous moment is when Dr. Terra Wade exclaims 'Oh sh*t!' upon seeing a demon for the first time. "I, Frankenstein" needed more scenes like that one. When you're dealing with a ludicrously silly premise like this, it's essential for the film to embrace its own silliness but Beattie ultimately turns what could've been a fun ninety minute ride into a cold and lifeless slog. He also does absolutely nothing with the setting as the nameless city in which the story takes place in only consists of empty alleyways and dilapidated office buildings. It's frankly astonishing that the gargoyles can't even locate where the demons are hiding when the city's two largest structures are their church and the Wessex Institute. Hell, they're basically right around the corner from each other! Even more head-scratching is that there's not a single human being to be found besides Wade, Avery, and some random bystander that gets killed almost immediately. The entire world is at stake so where the hell did everyone go? You expect me to believe that not one person is remotely curious as to why the sky is constantly filled with blue light shafts or whirling streams of fire?

The action scenes could've been the film's sole saving grace but even these fail to excite as they devolve into a mind-numbing jumble punctuated by loud explosions, amateurish CGI, and dreary visuals. Delayed for eleven months in order to be post-converted into 3D and digitally re-mastered for IMAX screens, both premium formats fail to bring much to the table and quite honestly, are a waste of money. Then again, this $65 million-budgeted picture is a waste of money. The cast tries their best to elevate the third-rate material but many of them are given almost nothing to work with. Aaron Eckhart has the physicality and gravitas to portray a superhero-like Frankenstein yet the script fails to give his character much of a personality and traps the actor with a permanently constipated grimace. Yvonne Strahovski is pretty…and that's about it really. One scene does tease some sexual tension between Adam and Terra, with Eckhart showing off his sculpted frame for the camera. However, this moment is swept aside like it never even happened. Miranda Otto is partially successful in making the inane dialogue work while Bill Nighy chews the scenery as if his life depended on it. Nighy is the only one who understands what kind of film he's in given his role in the "Underworld" films and acts accordingly. Unfortunately, the British actor ends up being saddled with a face full of makeup that makes his dialogue all but indecipherable.

Released on January 24, 2014, "I, Frankenstein" has received overwhelmingly dismal reviews with a pathetic 5% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics called it 'loud, incoherent, and dramatically listless, [the film] is a remarkably dull fantasy adventure that fails to generate much excitement or interest in its characters.' What's worse is that I had to pay twenty dollars to see this garbage as the advance screening was suddenly cancelled due to the recent winter storm. This shouldn't come as a surprise but Beattie's film is already a full-fledged box office flop and is estimated to earn less than $10 million over the weekend. There's nothing more to be said about "I, Frankenstein." This is an abysmal film, the second this year already, and is not only an embarrassment to everyone involved but to cinema as well.

Final Rating: 1.5 out of 5

"I, descender of the demon hoard. I, my father's son. I, Frankenstein…I am out there fighting to defend you."