Rated PG-13 (Street Racing, Violence, Language and
some Sensuality)
Running Time: 1 Hour & 47 Minutes
Cast:
Paul
Walker-Brian O'Conner
Tyrese
Gibson-Roman ‘Rome’ Pearce
Eva
Mendes-Monica Fuentes
Chris
'Ludacris' Bridges-Tej Parker
Devon
Aoki-Suki
Cole
Hauser-Carter Verone
Thom
Barry-FBI Special Agent Bilkins
James
Remar-U.S. Customs Agent Markham
Jin
Auyeung-Jimmy
Amaury
Nolasco-Orange Julius
Michael
Ealy-Slap Jack
Mark
Boone Junior-Detective Whitworth
Matt
Gallini-Enrique
Roberto
'Sanz' Sanchez-Roberto
Directed by John Singleton
 |
| Who cares about the actors when you have flashy cars? |
With the unexpected box office success of “The Fast & the Furious” in 2001, Universal was quick to announce a sequel. After all they had a new moneymaker on their hands and that’s the only thing that counts in Hollywood these days! However, both Vin Diesel and director Rob Cohen were unavailable as its production schedule conflicted with their action film, “xXx,” at the time. For the sequel, most of the cast was replaced with new characters with John Singleton set to direct. Singleton is famous for his critically-acclaimed 1991 film, “Boyz n the Hood,” which depicted African American life in poor South Central Los Angeles. For his work, Singleton was nominated for Best Director and Best Original Screenplay at the 1992 Academy Awards, making him the youngest (at age 24) and the first African American to be nominated. I do not know what motivated Singleton to direct “2 Fast 2 Furious” but it makes the tepid achievement of the original look like a masterpiece. The film is nothing more than a cash-in with a retread plot and mind-numbingly dumb dialogue and action scenes. A more appropriate name would be “2 Dumb 2 Stupid.”
After the events of the first film, Brian O’Conner
(Paul Walker) is a cop no more and now makes a living in Miami by participating
in illegal street races through his friend, Tej Parker (Chris ‘Ludacris’
Bridges). After winning one such race, the police arrive and Brian is promptly
arrested. He is brought before U.S. Customs Agent Markham (James Remar) and his
former handler FBI Special Agent Bilkins (Thom Berry), who offers him a deal:
his criminal record will be wiped clean if he agrees to work with them to
infiltrate and take down a ruthless drug lord named Carter Verone (Cole Hauser).
Brian agrees on one condition: he gets to pick who he works with. This person
happens to be a former childhood friend named Roman ‘Rome’ Pearce (Tyrese
Gibson). Their reunion ends in a fist fight but eager to have his record wiped
as well, Roman agrees. The two are assisted by another undercover agent, Monica
Fuentes (Eva Mendes), who liaisons as Verone’s girlfriend. To take Verone down,
Brian and Roman must put aside their differences if they are to come out of
their mission alive.
Forgive me for being vulgar, but the plot of “2 Fast 2
Furious” is a pile of sh*t. Vin Diesel’s presence in the first film made it
bearable to watch but with him gone, there’s just no reason for this sequel to
exist other than to reap money from brain-dead movie-goers. It’s all a tired
retread but with a different set of characters who manage to come off even less
compelling compared to the original cast. Of course, the real reason for
everyone to watch is the races. As always they are flashy and overdone, with
its MTV-style editing, rap music and numerous scantily-clad women gyrating
around. It just borders on being ridiculous, no wait, it is ridiculous with the cars breaking every law of physics. I bet
Isaac Newton is rolling in his grave now. Dialogue is also laughable with every
other word being “man” or “brother.” Maybe it’s too much to expect a bunch of
street racers to actually speak in proper English when they’re all cartoonish
racial stereotypes. Like the original, I find myself struggling to say much
about “2 Fast 2 Furious” with its nowhere plot, dull characters and loud races
that serve nothing more than to turn our brains into mashed stew.
Paul Walker is the only main cast member returning and
his acting ability has not improved one iota. His attempts to act ‘hip’ or
‘gangster’ is cringe-inducing to watch. Model-turned-actor Tyrese Gibson fares
better as Roman; he has a lot of energy and seems to genuinely enjoy his role.
I would probably be more lenient on this film if it just featured him. Eva
Mendes serves no purpose other than to shake her assets and provide eye-candy
to horny thirteen year old boys. Devon Aoki…also serves no purpose other than
to shake her assets and provide eye-candy to horny thirteen year old boys with
an Asian fetish. Cole Hauser comes off as some sort of James Bond villain
reject as he orders his minions and tortures crooked cops with rats in a
bucket. Yes, rats in a bucket. I wonder why the villains are always drug lords
in these types of films. Are they victims of the economic crisis that they
cannot find any other illegal profession to work in? There’s also Chris ‘Ludacris’
Bridges as Tej Parker, Brian’s partner-in-crime who probably signed on due to
the amount of bikini-clad female extras on the set.
As part of “The Fast & the Furious” trilogy
box-set on Blu-Ray, “2 Fast 2 Furious” looks every bit as good as its
predecessor. Stylistically, the sequel looks indistinguishable from the
original; there’s still some slight film grain and the colorful cars pop out of
the screen with visual splendor. Flesh tones still lean toward a ‘hot’ orange
hue. As if it couldn’t get louder, this film ups the ante in the audio
department with cars whizzing by with their engines revved up. It’s an aural
experience that will thrill fans of the film. The special features look
extensive but they all end up being glorified commercials. The only thing worth
a listen is the audio commentary from director John Singleton, who sounds like
he had fun making the fun. His enthusiasm tapers off at the end though. To
appeal to the series’ primarily male fan-base, there’s even a featurette called
Tricking Out a Hot Import Car and is
hosted by Playboy Playmate Dalene Kurtis. Yes, expect intelligent and detailed
analysis from her.
Released on June 6, 2003, “2 Fast 2 Furious” received
negative reviews with 36% on Rotten Tomatoes. It did exceed the box office
gross of the original with $236 million worldwide so yes, another pointless
sequel was made, released in 2006, this time featuring none of the main
characters from the original! I believe online film critic James Berardinelli
speaks for all of us when he remarks, ‘The mind-numbing stupidity of Hollywood
decision-makers never ceases to amaze me,’ although at this point it shouldn’t
be a surprise. If you love car porn and women flaunting their assets and hate
to use your brain, “2 Fast 2 Furious” is the film for you. For everyone else,
if you possess a modicum of intelligence, avoid this flick like the plague.
It’s not even like we have high expectations; we just want to be entertained
for two hours, not treated like morons.
Final Rating: 1 out of 5
“Come on, man. Guns, murderers and crooked cops? I was made for this, bro!”
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