Snow White and the Huntsman Review

Rated PG-13 (Intense Sequences of Violence and Action, and Brief Sensuality)

Running Time: 2 Hours & 7 Minutes

Cast-

Kristen Stewart-Snow White

Charlize Theron-Queen Ravenna

Chris Hemsworth-Eric the Huntsman

Sam Claflin-Prince William

Sam Spruell-Finn

Ian McShane-Beith

Bob Hoskins-Muir

Ray Winstone-Gort

Nick Frost-Nion

Eddie Marsan-Duir

Toby Jones-Coll

Johnny Harris-Quert

Brian Gleeson-Gus

Vincent Regan-Duke Hammond

Noah Huntley-King Magnus

Liberty Ross-Snow White's Mother

Christopher Obi (voice)-Magic Mirror

Directed by Rupert Sanders

Hey, you're not in "Thor" anymore!

As I sat waiting for the advanced screening for “Snow White and the Huntsman” to begin, I overheard a humorous conversation among a group of friends sitting in the row in front of me. A young woman in the group found it strange that her male friends helped themselves to the free posters of the film that were being given away outside the theater, prompting one of them to respond that it balances out because there were two attractive women on the poster. I silently chuckled at this since the classic Snow White fairy tale from the Brothers Grimm has always appealed more to girls rather than boys, although I admit to enjoying the 1937 animated film from Walt Disney as a child and still do even though I’m a full-grown man. For the record, I did take a poster as well since everyone took one and I didn’t want to leave the theater empty-handed. Snow White the character has been experiencing something of a resurgence lately with Tarsem Singh’s “Mirror Mirror” released earlier this year in March and now we have “Snow White and the Huntsman” from first-time director Rupert Sanders, whose previous work has mainly been in the realm of commercials, including a few Xbox 360 games such as “Halo 3” and its spin-off, “Halo 3: ODST.” “Snow White and the Huntsman” makes for a rousing action-adventure thanks to its darker, edgier tone and Sanders’ great eye for visuals but the film suffers from an overlong running time and never utilizes its characters to its full potential. 

Set against the backdrop of a gothic medieval kingdom, a young queen (Liberty Ross) accidentally pricks her finger on a rose, prompting her to wish for a daughter with skin white as snow while three drops of blood fall to the ground. Her wish is granted when she becomes pregnant and gives birth to a baby girl, whom she names Snow White. However, the queen soon grows sick and passes away when Snow is still just a little girl, leaving her husband, King Magnus (Noah Huntley), in grief. The kingdom is later besieged by a dark enemy but Magnus and his forces defeat them with ease. He rescues a prisoner, a woman named Ravenna (Charlize Theron) and is immediately taken by her beauty, marrying and crowning her the new queen but she fatally stabs him on their wedding night. Ravenna then takes control of the throne with the help of her army and sniveling brother Finn (Sam Spruell). Snow White is subsequently kept as a prisoner in her own castle, locked away in the highest tower for many years while the kingdom and its people suffer. Obsessed with sustaining her youth, Ravenna consults with a golden magic mirror (voice of Christopher Obi) and asks how she can achieve immortality. The mirror tells her that she must consume Snow’s heart but a now-grown up Snow White (Kristen Stewart) seizes the opportunity to escape and flees into the Dark Forest. Since she has no power over the Forest, Ravenna orders a drunken huntsman named Eric (Chris Hemsworth) to find her, promising him that she will bring his wife back from the dead if he succeeds. Eric manages to locate Snow but she begs him for help, which he reluctantly agrees when he is convinced that Ravenna plans to kill her. Snow White must now gather a group of unlikely of allies (including several dwarves) and take back the kingdom that is rightfully hers. 

“Snow White and the Huntsman” is one gorgeous-looking film thanks to its beautiful cinematography work and impeccable production design. Making his directorial debut is Rupert Sanders, who skillfully mixes imaginatively grotesque visuals with a whimsical fairy tale-like charm in a manner similar to Guillermo del Toro. An encounter with a monstrous troll even recalls the Faun from del Toro’s “Pan's Labyrinth,” released back in 2006. From black-armored beings that shatter into a thousand sharp pieces of glass to a magic mirror that morphs into a liquid entity like the T-1000 from “Terminator 2: Judgment Day,” every penny of its $170 million production budget is clearly evident on-screen. The costumes from Colleen Atwood (whose previous credits include 2005’s “Memoirs of a Geisha,” 2010’s “Alice in Wonderland,” and this month’s “Dark Shadows”), especially the ones worn by Charlize Theron, are all exquisitely designed but her raven-feathered cloak is definitely the most striking. Befitting her namesake, Ravenna even transforms into a flock of ravens to make a quick escape during the famous poisoned apple scene but while having all this visual splendor is nice, it is the story that counts in the end. This is where the film sadly falters as it fails to fully utilize its many characters to their full potential and suffers from meandering pace in the middle due to an overlong running time. “Snow White and the Huntsman” takes its inspiration from J.R.R. Tolkien’s “The Lord of the Rings,” especially from the first book as the characters spend much of the film traveling through various locales from the aforementioned Dark Forest to a heavenly garden inhabited by fairies. The problem is that not much happens during their journey other than a few action scenes and at times, Sanders seems more interested in throwing another fancy CG effect rather than focus on his characters. The love triangle between Snow White, Eric the Huntsman, and Prince William (Sam Claflin) is virtually non-existent since there’s a lack of sexual tension between the first two while the third barely registers as a blip. Eric has a great scene where he professes his love to Snow White as she sleeps in a trance-like state but it rings hollow because the romance is underdeveloped. 

There’s an interesting dichotomy at work here, with Ravenna despising men yet obsessed with maintaining her beauty as she feels it is the only true power she wields while Snow White runs through a lot of grimy muck with nary a thought to her appearance but writers Evan Daugherty, John Lee Hancock, and Hossein Amini never explore this theme to its full potential. The dwarves themselves, played by a number of distinguished British actors, also end up underutilized. The action and battle scenes take a page out of Peter Jackson and are well-executed but Sanders uses quick cuts (and the occasional slow motion) to keep the rating PG-13. When compared with Singh’s “Mirror Mirror,” “Snow White and the Huntsman” is clearly the superior film, going farther with its darker, revisionist tone and while the film suffers from its fair share of problems, the blame lies less with Sanders’ skills and more with his lack of experience. 

When Kristen Stewart was cast as the titular Snow White, I was initially skeptical as she wasn’t what I pictured in my mind. Thankfully, she proves to be an inspired choice and makes for a fiercer, more determined Snow White that is eager to kick some evil queen butt compared to the original Brothers Grimm version, which I always found to be akin to a chauvinistic male fantasy. Her performance won’t go down as one of her best but it is certainly leagues better than the mopey expressions she gives in the “Twilight” films. However, it is Charlize Theron who leaves a memorable impression as the evil queen Ravenna, diving into her role with aplomb and frequently chewing the scenery. Theron is over-the-top for sure but her performance is just so gleefully enjoyable. Chris Hemsworth captures the rugged quality of the Huntsman while adding a layer depth as a recent widow but he never feels as central to the plot as the previews made him out to be despite his name being in the title. Sam Claflin seems to have been cast more for his looks as Prince William and barely shares any screen-time with Stewart and the dwarves do not appear until late the film. Played by a number of well-known British actors including Ian McShane, Bob Hoskins, Toby Jones, Eddie Marsan, Ray Winstone, and Nick Frost, the dwarves were brought to life through post-production work and body doubles. They bring some much needed comic relief and should’ve had more screen-time. 

“Snow White and the Huntsman” will be released on June 1, 2012 and has received a mixed reception so far with 57% on Rotten Tomatoes. It will probably level out around 60% to 70%. Universal Pictures has a lot riding on this film after “Battleship” flopped at the domestic box office (and is only breaking even thanks to international grosses being factored in) but I don’t believe it’ll be the big hit the studio is hoping for since none of the cast are well-known for bringing in audiences outside of their respective franchises such as “Twilight” and “Thor.” Audience reaction was also somewhat muted with scattered applause but the film should handily top the box office this weekend with ease. Visually imaginative, “Snow White and the Huntsman” could’ve benefitted from a tighter pace and better utilization of its characters but this darker rendition is still worth a look for those who grew up with the fairy tale.

Final Rating: 3.5 out of 5

“I will be your weapon! Who will ride with me?! Who will be my brother?!” 

Note: While both "Mirror Mirror" and "Snow White and the Huntsman" share the same score, the latter is definitely the superior film.

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The Devil Inside Blu-Ray Review

Rated R (Disturbing Violent Content and Grisly Images, and for Language including some Sexual References)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 23 Minutes

Cast-

Fernanda Andrade-Isabella Rossi

Suzan Crowley-Maria Rossi

Simon Quarterman-Father Ben Rawlings

Evan Helmuth-Father David Keane

Ionut Grama-Michael Schaefer

Bonnie Morgan-Rosalita

Brian Johnson-Lieutenant Dreyfus

Claudiu Istodor-Doctor Antonio Costa

Directed by William Brent Bell

Sometimes, even the possessed need to let their hair down.

Teasers and trailers are central to a film’s advertising, whetting the audience’s appetite by giving them a little taste of what’s to come but they often prove to be misleading and do not reflect the final product. I must admit that the initial previews for horror flick “The Devil Inside,” part of the ‘found-footage’ subgenre, gave me the creeps but calling the actual film a disappointment is a massive understatement. After acquiring the domestic rights for a mere $350,000, Paramount Pictures released “Paranormal Activity” during the fall of 2009 to critical and commercial success, earning an impressive $193 million worldwide against a measly $15,000 production budget and spawning a new annual horror franchise. The second and third entries received mixed reviews but continued to do big business at the box office, with a fourth installment set to arrive this October. Hoping to have lightning strike twice, Paramount founded Insurge Pictures in March 2010, an independent distributor of ‘micro-budget’ films. Their first release was the aforementioned “The Devil Inside,” filmed on a production budget of approximately $1 million but went on to earn one hundred times this amount worldwide. This is not a mark of quality however, as “The Devil Inside” is made with little enthusiasm, offering leftovers of similarly-themed films but these issues pale in comparison to its abrupt ending that will leave the audience feeling infuriated.   

On October 30, 1989, a woman named Maria Rossi (Suzan Crowley) living in Hartford, Connecticut murders three members of the local clergy (two priests and a nun) during an exorcism performed on her. Maria is promptly arrested at the scene of the crime and is found not guilty due to insanity during her trial. She is sent to a state mental hospital but is transferred a few months later to Centrino in Rome, Italy under the care of the Vatican. Twenty years later in 2009, Maria’s now-grown daughter Isabella Rossi (Fernanda Andrade) fears that she will suffer the same malady like her mother and decides to travel to Rome to learn more about exorcism, documenting her experiences with filmmaker Michael Schaffer (Ionut Grama). While attending a lecture on exorcisms at the Apostolic Academy of Rome, Isabella meets two priests, Fathers Ben Rawlings (Simon Quarterman) and David Keane (Evan Helmuth), who become interested in her case. The priests perform exorcisms without express authorization from the Roman Catholic Church and feel that the institution is too bogged down by bureaucracy to help those in need. With the help of the priests, Isabella confronts her mother and comes face-to-face with true evil. 

Edited in a faux-documentary style, “The Devil Inside” is a thoroughly dull affair made with little energy or enthusiasm from director William Brent Bell. Part of the ‘found-footage’ horror subgenre, the success of these types of films lies in their ability to trick the audience into believing that what is happening on-screen is real but it cannot even meet this modest requirement because its presentation lacks consistency, switching from hand-held camerawork to static security footage with little rhyme or reason. The initial previews claimed that the film was ‘inspired by true events’ but this is nothing but false advertising. Written by Bell and Matthew Peterman, the story spends an unusual amount of time developing its characters and various subplots such as the priests’ frustration with the internal politics of the Church but there’s absolutely no payoff and the dialogue fails to inspire much interest or make you even care about what is happening. Certain scenes also make no sense in the context of the film such as when Isabella begins talking about [spoiler] Michael’s mother sleeping with his father’s best friend [end spoiler]. Some of the ideas about severe mental illness and demonic possession and how one can be mistaken for the other are intriguing but the film never explores them in a satisfactory manner. Usually films of this type offer some cheap thrills at the bare minimum but all of the set-pieces are devoid of scares and excitement despite the ‘shocking’ way in which they are presented. The problem is that these scenes offer up nothing new that audiences haven’t seen before. At one point the two priests bring Isabella along to witness a real exorcism and as expected there are some weird contortionist maneuvers but the taunts being yelled out end up sounding laughable as if it was written by a thirteen-year-old boy testing out all the profanities he just learned. The worst thing about “The Devil Inside” is its ending, or absolute lack thereof. The film just abruptly stops while offering absolutely no closure or answers to the events that took place and the final slap in the face comes in a title card telling audiences to ‘learn more’ by logging onto some promotional website. What really bothers me is that there are people posting inane comments asking if the film is real. How dense can you be?! This is just lazy on the writer’s part, as if they ran out of ideas and choose to stop filming, which is ironic considering that there are no new ideas in the first place. 

The acting is often flat and lifeless with the exception of Suzan Crowley as the demonic-possessed Maria Rossi. Crowley seems to be the only one who actually puts in an effort, pulling off a convincing performance as her eyes start bugging out and turning several darker shades of red. She is just too good and belongs in a better film. Fernanda Andrade ends up reciting all her lines in monotone while Simon Quarterman and Evan Helmuth are little more than mouth-pieces in which dull exposition is delivered. “The Devil Inside” was released on Blu-Ray as a Best Buy exclusive back in early May 2012 and while the video quality isn’t exactly demo material, this high definition transfer is pristine with the grainy, low-lit scenes remaining true to the source material. Audio quality can feel too polished at times but all the loud thumping and screaming is handled convincingly, complete with the requisite booms and hisses that are found in raw, home video footage. This Blu-Ray is a bare-bones release with no special features besides an UltraViolet cloud streaming digital copy of the film. The retail price is $24.99, which honestly feels likes outright robbery. 

Released on January 6, 2012, “The Devil Inside” was the first major release of 2012 and earned a surprising $34 million during opening weekend thanks to Paramount’s effective marketing campaign. However, the film was not screened critics and it subsequently received negative reviews with an incredibly low 7% on Rotten Tomatoes, writing it off as ‘a cheap, choppy unscary mess [and] featuring one of the worst endings in recent memory.’ Although it faced a 76% drop in its second weekend, the film turned a profit with $101 million worldwide and all but assuring that more of its ilk will be released to milk audiences’ hard-earned money. I leave you with this final sentence from R. Kurt Osenlund’s review for Slant magazine: ‘It's basically one big offensive gesture, which, really, is what you should expect from a movie whose poster image mirrors the universal symbol for cunnilingus.’

Final Rating: 1.5 out of 5

Isabella Rossi: Let my mother go.

Maria Rossi: You'll burn.

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People Like Us Review

Rated PG-13 (Language, Some Drug Use and Brief Sexuality)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 55 Minutes

Cast-

Chris Pine-Sam Harper

Elizabeth Banks-Frankie Davis

Michelle Pfeiffer-Lillian Harper

Michael Hall D'Addario-Josh Davis

Olivia Wilde-Hannah

Jon Favreau-James Richards

Philip Baker Hall-Ike Rafferty

Mark Duplass-Ted

Directed by Alex Kurtzman

Elizabeth Banks cannot believe that Chris Pine is the captain of the starship USS Enterprise.

I used to work at the reception desk of the Psychology department during my breaks from class at Long Island University (Brooklyn Campus if you were wondering) and I remember my supervisor (a kindly old woman) making a rather curious joke when I told her that I was an only child.  With a soft chuckle, she said that children who lack siblings often end up getting spoiled by their parents (what Asians call ‘Little Emperor’ Syndrome), prompting me to silently wonder how different my life would’ve been if I had a brother and/or sister. You often hear stories about people reuniting with a long-lost sibling but I cannot imagine how I would react to such news since I’ve never experienced it for myself. This is the central premise for “People Like Us,” a drama from first-time director Alex Kurtzman. While it may seem unusual, drama films have always been a mainstay during the summer movie season and appeals to audiences who want to avoid the latest big-budget blockbuster. There’s a bit of irony in this because Kurtzman, along with his frequent writing partner Roberto Orci, have been responsible for a number of summer blockbusters including but not limited to the first two “Transformers” films and the 2009 “Star Trek” reboot that also stars Chris Pine. The two also share co-creator status with fan-favorite J.J. Abrams for science fiction television series “Fringe,” which will end with a truncated fifth season later this year. Kurtzman makes a solid directorial debut with “People Like Us” and while many of its conflicts and themes lack originality, the film makes up for it with sincere performances from Chris Pine and Elizabeth Banks. 

Sam Harper (Chris Pine) is a fast-talking young businessman who works as a barter system trader, a job that he is incredibly skilled at as he successfully negotiates several contracts with various companies, earning a big $84,000 commission and allowing him to pay off his outstanding debts. However, his supervisor James Richards (Jon Favreau) reveals that one of the higher-ups is threatening to go to the Federal Trade Commission over Sam’s failure to follow safety regulations for a shipment of canned tomatoes and has blackmailed the company into paying to build a new room for his mansion in return for his silence. His commission withheld by Richards, Sam returns home to learn from his girlfriend Hannah (Olivia Wilde) that his father has passed away after a long battle with cancer but he barely reacts to the news. He reluctantly flies to Los Angeles to attend his father’s funeral but arrives late, angering his grieving mother Lillian (Michelle Pfeiffer). Sam and his father, a former record producer, had an estranged relationship and failed to connect on an emotional level. Family lawyer and old friend Ike Rafferty (Philip Baker Hall) gives Sam a satchel containing $150,000 in bills and a short note written by his father asking him to deliver it to someone named Josh Davis (Michael Hall D'Addario). Driving to the address on the note, Sam learns that Josh is the twelve-year-old son of a thirty-year-old recovering alcoholic named Frankie (Elizabeth Banks) and that she is his half-sister. Buried under a mountain of debt and with the Federal Trade Commission breathing down on his neck, Sam is tempted to take the money but is conflicted once he meets his sister and forms an instant connection with her, leading to an awkward and ambiguous relationship. 

Honestly, I was surprised to find Alex Kurtzman as the director of “People Like Us” given his previous work but a film of this type allows him to flex his dramatic muscles and show that his talents aren’t limited to mindless blockbuster fare. The film’s opening title card reveals that it was ‘inspired by true events’ and a little research online reveals that Kurtzman finally met his half-sister and half-brother eight years ago at age 30. Although it was never kept a secret like in the film, the writer remarked that ‘meeting my half-sister was a life-changing experience’ and that it continues to be due to the lost time they could’ve spent trying to get to know each other. The script is a heavily fictionalized version of Kurtzman’s personal story with writers Roberto Orci and Jody Lambert contributing from their own life experiences. “People Like Us” does not buck convention with its themes and conflicts but the film benefits from its sincere and grounded tone. The character of Sam mines well-worn territory, a man who has buried himself in his work in order to avoid confronting his own flaws because of the cold and distant relationship he shared with his father. This extends to his mother Lillian as well with her insistence on Sam being an only child and refusing to own up to the fact that her husband was not the ideal man she fell in love with. Much of the film revolves around the growing relationship between Sam and Frankie, which has a pseudo-romantic component to it which may make certain audience members feel uncomfortable (nothing happens between them if you were wondering). Both characters are only able to move past their personal demons once they acknowledge that they cannot continue to be trapped in the past and blame their father for their own shortcomings. This journey is handled well by Kurtzman because he is writing from a personal place but while the character drama is compelling, the overall script remains fairly predictable even without seeing the initial previews, which reveal too much about the film already. A few comedic scenes are also included to balance out the dour mood with Michael Hall D'Addario’s Josh providing quite a few laughs with his penchant for blurting out whatever is on his mind without caring whether it’s appropriate or not. The film also uses a number of licensed music tracks (understandable given that the main character’s father was a record producer) but I felt their inclusion added a layer of schmaltz that was unnecessary, in addition to all the perpetual sunsets.  “People Like Us” won’t win any awards for Kurtzman but it serves as proof that he’s a stronger writer than he initially appears to be. 

Perhaps the strongest element in the film is the performances and although Sam is written as a smooth-talking jerk, he’s instantly likable thanks to Chris Pine and his winning smile. Most of the dramatic lifting comes from Elizabeth Banks as her character Frankie has been through hell and back. Without spoiling the scene, she and Pine share a powerful moment late in the film that cuts emotionally deep. Although they are not playing a couple per se, the two have such a good chemistry that they might as well be. Playing Frankie’s son is Michael Hall D'Addario and while he’s the typical kid with a smart-mouth, he’s not as annoying as I expected him to be. Michelle Pfeiffer is also great in a supporting role as Sam’s mother and I must say that she still looks attractive even though she’s 54. Olivia Wilde also stars but her character could’ve been played by any other female actress while Jon Favreau has little more than a cameo despite his name being prominently displayed on the poster. 

“People Like Us” will be released on June 29, 2012 and while it won’t be doing blockbuster numbers at the box office, it should garner at least a positive reaction from critics. “G.I. Joe: Retaliation” was originally set to release on that day and would’ve dominated that weekend but Paramount made the uncharacteristic decision to delay the film until March 29, 2013 in order to do a post-conversion to 3D and add new scenes. The only competition to Kurtzman’s film is Steven Soderbergh’s “Magic Mike,” Seth MacFarlane also making his directorial debut with R-rated comedy “Ted,” and Tyler Perry’s “Madea's Witness Protection.” Given the popularity of Perry among African American audiences, his film stands the best chance of hitting number one at the box office. Although the release of “People Like Us” is still a month away, I managed to attend a special advance screening used to gauge the audience’s (which leaned heavily toward female) reaction, which was largely positive but one person whispered rather loudly that it was ‘so weird’ when Frankie began to have romantic feelings for Sam. Boosting sincere performances from Chris Pine and Elizabeth Banks, “People Like Us” is a solid drama film that is worth a look but first-time director Alex Kurtzman ultimately plays it too safe by sticking to tried-and-true themes, preventing it from truly standing out.

Final Rating: 3.5 out of 5

“My father, he always said lean into it. It means that the outcome doesn't matter. What matters is that you are there for it, whatever it is…good or bad. Kinda like right now.”

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Men in Black III 3D Review

Rated PG-13 (Sci-Fi Action Violence, and Brief Suggestive Content)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 46 Minutes

Cast-

Will Smith-Agent J

Tommy Lee Jones-Agent K

Josh Brolin-Young Agent K

Jemaine Clement-Boris the Animal

Emma Thompson-Agent O

Alice Eve-Young Agent O

Michael Stuhlbarg-Griffin

Michael Chernus-Jeffrey Price

Bill Hader-Andy Warhol

Will Arnett-Agent AA

Nicole Scherzinger-Lily/Boris' Girlfriend

David Rasche-Agent X

Directed by Barry Sonnenfeld

Will Smith's Agent J tries to convince Josh Brolin's Agent K that he's from the future in "Men in Black III."

It never ceases to amaze me how fast time flies! Fifteen years ago in 1997, I was still in third grade elementary school when the original “Men in Black” was released into theaters to critical and commercial success, further cementing Will Smith’s status as an international box office superstar. Smith would go on to star in numerous blockbusters and would typically appear in one to two films per year. 2008 saw the release of “Hancock” and “Seven Pounds” but both films ended up receiving mixed to negative reviews despite being box office successes and Smith subsequently took a hiatus in order to focus on his children’s burgeoning careers but the actor kept himself busy as a producer. Published as a three-issue mini-series in 1990 from Aircel Comics, “Men in Black” the film was actually based upon The Men in Black comic book created by Lowell Cunningham and illustrated by Sandy Carruthers. Aircel Comics would later be brought out by Malibu Comics, which itself was acquired by Marvel Comics in late 1994. 2002 saw the release of “Men in Black II” but the sequel remains a flop with both fans and critics (39% on Rotten Tomatoes) despite grossing $442 million worldwide. Ten years later, Smith returns as Agent J in “Men in Black III” but was it worth the long wait given the film’s troubled production? Despite the script being a jumbled, plot-hole ridden mess and the lack of energy from Barry Sonnenfeld’s direction, “Men in Black III” remains an enjoyable film thanks to Smith’s appealing on-screen charisma, Josh Brolin’s brilliantly spot-on impersonation of Tommy Lee Jones, and Rick Baker’s fantastic makeup work. 

Boris the Animal (Jemaine Clement), a dangerous Boglodite assassin and the last of his species, breaks out of the Lunar Max prison facility located on the Moon with the help of his girlfriend Lily (Nicole Scherzinger). Forty years ago on July 16, 1969, a young Agent K apprehended Boris at Cape Canaveral in Florida before setting up the ArcNet shield that prevented Earth from an invasion by the Boglodites, rendering them extinct. Boris is intent on killing K in revenge for the destruction of his species and causing the loss of his left arm. While investigating a spaceship crash in New York City and a restaurant in Chinatown, K (Tommy Lee Jones) correctly deduces that Boris has escaped and reveals to his partner J (Will Smith) that he regrets not having killed him in 1969. The next day, Agent J finds K’s apartment now occupied by a family and learns from Agent O (Emma Thompson) that there is a fracture in the space-time continuum due to J’s strange new craving for chocolate milk. J concludes that Boris must’ve traveled back in time to kill K in 1969, changing the future and allowing his species to freely consume the Earth. Acquiring his own time-jump device from a black market dealer named Jeffrey Price (Michael Chernus), J travels back to July 15, 1969 in order to prevent Boris from killing K. He teams up with K’s younger self (Josh Brolin) and races against the clock to once again save the Earth from the scum of the universe. 

“Men in Black III” was officially announced by Columbia Pictures/Sony back in 2009 (even though the time travel premise was pitched back in 2002) but filming kept being delayed with Etan Cohen’s script facing constant rewrites from David Koepp, Jeff Nathanson, and Michael Soccio. Principal photography finally commenced in November 2010 with an unfinished script that lacked the entire second act, leading to production being halted for close to four months (originally two months) from December 2010 to April 2011 in order to allow the writers enough time to finish. The film’s troubled production clearly shows as numerous subplots are set up but are never fully resolved and the pacing feels rushed at times to keep the audience from dwelling on the plot-holes in the story. The reasoning behind J remembering K is poorly explained (he only remembers because he drinks chocolate milk?) and there’s no logic as to how O concludes that there is a fracture in the space-time continuum if the past was changed. The character of Griffin (Michael Stuhlbarg), an alien who is able to see all timelines simultaneously, is introduced to patch the holes in the script but this only hides the problem and is not a fix. An obligatory romance is thrown in between a Young K and O (Alice Eve) but the latter has so little screen-time, making its inclusion ultimately pointless. The overall character arc feels forced because it reduces K to being a soulless curmudgeon so that it could make way for his livelier younger self. 

Fortunately, this is when “Men in Black III” hits its groove and begins to recapture at least some of the spark that made the original film such a fan favorite by introducing a few wrinkles to the formula with its time travel premise. The comedy is largely hit-and-miss and won’t leave much of an impression but there are certainly some humorous bits such as J and Young K’s encounter with Andy Warhol (Bill Hader), who is actually an undercover MIB agent who complains that he’s been reduced to ‘painting soup cans and bananas!’ The film pokes fun at the fact that a black man is running around in late 1960’s New York City and much of the technology that the MIB agents use is given a retro makeover such as a gigantic cell-phone and a Neuralyzer that uses a battery pack which has to be connected via dial-up. Smith also has a much better rapport with Brolin compared to Jones, making the second act enjoyable even while the story sputters near the end with an unearned twist thrown in for no discernible reason. Rick Baker’s excellent creature design makes up for Barry Sonnenfeld’s slack direction and Boris’ one-dimensional personality, with the effects guru filling every scene with a bizarre assortment of aliens. The CG isn’t all that impressive and at times looks horribly dated. Although “Men in Black III” was post-converted to 3D by choice, this is actually one of the best conversions I’ve seen. The film lends itself to the extra effect due to all the creatures and there are numerous scenes that pop out such as a laser show in an electronics store. It’s a pure gimmick moment but it adds to the fun and irreverent tone. Brightness is also not an issue, so if you feel like splurging for 3D, by all means do so. 

After taking a three-and-a-half year hiatus, Will Smith returns to the big screen and yes, his shtick may feel old but he still possesses that natural on-screen charisma that made him into a star in the first place. The highlight is Josh Brolin, who manages to adopt all of Tommy Lee Jones’ voice and mannerisms with pitch-perfect accuracy. He and Smith make the film better than it should’ve been because the two genuinely seem to be having fun. Tommy Lee Jones is only in the film for about thirty minutes and he seems to be there to only pick up a paycheck. He’s also given an unnecessary make-up job to give him an older appearance but it instead turns him into a walking wax figure. Jemaine Clement is underutilized as Boris the Animal but his unique alien design helps make his antics enjoyable to watch. Michael Stuhlbarg adds a whimsical charm as omnipotent alien Griffin and his character was described as ‘adorable’ by my friend. Emma Thompson and Alice Eve have very little screen-time while Will Arnett, Nicole Scherzinger, and Bill Hader pop up for welcome cameos. 

Released on May 25, 2012, “Men in Black III” has received mildly positive reviews with 67% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics felt that ‘it isn't exactly a persuasive argument for the continuation of the franchise—but [the film] is better than its predecessor and manages to exceed expectations, largely due to Josh Brolin's impressive performance.’ I managed to attend an advance screening even though it was only five hours from being officially released and the audience seemed to enjoy the film very much. Box office wise, “Men in Black III” may finally be the film to dethrone “The Avengers” but expecting a huge opening weekend will be a stretch considering the ten years that have passed since the second film and the whopping $215 million budget after tax rebates. “Men in Black III” suffers from a lot of problems stemming from its troubled production but I was genuinely surprised that I enjoyed it more than I was expecting to. If nothing else, the film flashy-thingy’s the bad taste its predecessor left in my mouth.

Final Rating: 3.5 out of 5

“I am getting too old for this. I can only imagine how you feel.”

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Battleship Review

Rated PG-13 (Intense Sequences of Violence, Action and Destruction, and for Language)

Running Time: 2 Hours & 11 Minutes

Cast-

Taylor Kitsch-Lieutenant Alex Hopper

Liam Neeson-Admiral Shane

Robyn ‘Rihanna’ Fenty- Petty Officer Cora 'Weps' Raikes

Brooklyn Decker-Samantha Shane

Alexander Skarsgård-Commander Stone Hopper

Tadanobu Asano-Captain Yugi Nagata

John Tui-Chief Petty Officer Walter 'The Beast' Lynch

Jesse Plemons-Boatswain Mate Seaman Jimmy 'Ordy' Ord

Gregory D. Gadson-Lieutenant Colonel Mick Canales

Hamish Linklater-Cal Zapata

Adam Godley-Dr. Nogrady

Directed by Peter Berg

Taylor Kitsch is wondering why Rihanna sunk his battleship in Peter Berg's dumb science fiction action film based upon the famous Milton Bradley (now owned by Hasbro) board game.

Now I’m positive that Hollywood is run by monkeys wearing expensive suits! When Universal announced a film adaptation of the famous board game Battleship in 2009, the news was largely met with derision. Director James Cameron added his own two cents with the following remark: ‘We have a story crisis.  Now they want to make the Battleship game into a film.  This is pure desperation’ and found such a project to be a degradation of cinema. First published by the Milton Bradley Company (now owned by Hasbro, Inc. since 1984) in 1943 as a pad-and-pencil game, Battleship already had a worldwide reputation that predated World War I. The famous board game format where players utilized a plastic grid with holes where pegs could be inserted wasn’t published until 1967. The current iteration from Hasbro was released in 2008 and features small islands where your ‘captured man’ can be hidden. Directed by Peter Berg of “Friday Night Lights” fame, “Battleship” the film has very loose ties to the board game and features a naval battle between a group of alien invaders and…battleships! A rip-off of numerous science-fiction films and video games, “Battleship” is, not surprisingly, a mind-numbingly dull experience that drops story and character in favor of bludgeoning its audience with a barrage of CG explosions for close to two hours. The summer movie season is always full of dumb flicks like these but this one is likely to turn you into a brain-dead zombie. 

In 2005, a group of NASA scientists led Dr. Nogrady (Adam Godley) discover a planet with similar conditions to Earth. Dubbed ‘Planet G,’ NASA transmits a powerful signal from a massive communications array in Hawaii, which will be boosted by an orbiting satellite. Meanwhile, Alex Hopper (Taylor Kitsch) is celebrating his birthday at a bar in Oahu with his older brother Stone (Alexander Skarsgård). An attractive woman comes in to order a chicken burrito but is refused service by the bartender. Smitten, Alex decides to impress her by getting a chicken burrito from a nearby convenience store. Unfortunately, the store closes just as he arrives and he ends up breaking in. The police arrive and stun him into submission with tasers but not before Alex delivers the burrito to the woman. Stone angrily berates his brother for his reckless behavior and reveals that the woman is Samantha Shane (Brooklyn Decker), daughter of United States Pacific Fleet commander Admiral Shane (Liam Neeson), his superior. To prevent him from ruining his career, Stone forces Alex to join him in the United States Navy. Seven years later in 2012, Alex is now a lieutenant and the Tactical Action Officer onboard the destroyer USS John Paul Jones while Stone is the commanding officer of the USS Sampson. Alex and Samantha are currently in a relationship and the two want to get married but Alex is afraid to ask for permission from her father. During the Rim of the Pacific Exercise or RIMPAC naval exercise, Alex brawls with Japanese officer Captain Nagata (Tadanobu Asano) after losing a game of soccer to his team, the latest in a series of incidents that results in his discharge, effective at the end of the naval exercises. RIMPAC is interrupted by the arrival of five alien ships in response to the signal sent by NASA. One of the ships collides with an orbital satellite and crash-lands in Hong Kong, causing catastrophic damage but the rest land near the coast of Hawaii. Alex leads a team comprising of Gunner's Mate Second Class Cora Raikes (Robyn ‘Rihanna’ Fenty) and Chief Petty Officer Walter 'The Beast' Lynch (John Tui) to investigate but one of the ships erects an impenetrable force field, separating three of the battleships from the rest of Admiral Shane’s fleet. The alien ships quickly destroy the USS Sampson and Myōkō, leaving Alex the only senior officer to battle the invaders in a fight to save the Earth from extinction. 

James Berardinelli of ReelViews writes that “Battleship” ‘has the IQ of a rutabaga and doesn't require much more intelligence than that to watch’—a perfectly apt description for such a profoundly insipid mess of a film. The story from writers Jon and Erich Hoeber is as paper-thin as they come and despite spending close to forty minutes setting up the characters, none of it really matters once the explosions start going off, which goes on and on for the better half of the film. Berg’s attempt to turn our brain issue into mush reeks of desperation as you soon grow numb and simply stop caring about what’s happening after the umpteenth explosion. There’s not a hint of originality in “Battleship” as it liberally borrows from video games such as “Crysis” and “Halo” to similarly-themed science fiction films like Roland Emmerich’s “Independence Day” and even Michael Bay’s “Transformers.” Outside of a throwaway flashback scene, the script never provides any tangible motivation for the alien’s arrival and the way they are depicted lacks any logical consistency. Their ships are established to be nigh invincible in the beginning but easily fall apart like Papier-mâché by the end. For a race that is able to traverse millions of light-years, I find it puzzling that their ships cannot fly but instead hop around like frogs. Their armor is bullet-proof but apparently, no one bothered to do that for their ships and one of them is defeated due to the fact that their weapon turrets cannot fully turn 360 degrees. Little things like the ones I mentioned ultimately undermine the film because it is forced to cheat in order to allow our heroes to be victorious. Berg even shoehorns an actual game of Battleship when the USS John Paul Jones begins a cat-and-mouse chase with the alien ships through the use of a grid system. However, no one says the famous line, ‘You sunk my battleship!’ The film gets even more ridiculous, devolving into a Navy recruitment video once a group of old war veterans show up, apparently just waiting to be called upon! The only praise I can give is that the visual and sound effects genuinely look very polished and the humor at least does not fall into the juvenile depths that plague numerous Michael Bay films. 

The acting ranges from laughably bad to cringe-inducing thanks to the terrible dialogue and non-existent character development. Taylor Kitsch looks the part of an action hero but we’ve seen such a stubborn and hot-headed character dozens of times before in better films. Alexander Skarsgård ends up shouting all his dialogue and is quickly dispatched away. Making her movie debut is singer Robyn ‘Rihanna’ Fenty, who is not a good actress to put it lightly. Some of the lines she says make absolutely no sense. Her character remarks that her father knew that one day the aliens would come but how this knowledge was obtained is never elaborated upon. I really do not understand this recent trend of having singers and supermodels starring in films. These people should stick to what they’re good at and stop dragging down the standards of cinema with their god-awful acting skills. Brooklyn Decker is once again just a pretty face running across the screen in a tank top. The only actor who comes out relatively unscathed is Liam Neeson but his screen-time amounts to a glorified cameo. Still, it’s always a joy to hear him chew someone out as this was the only good scene in the film. I sure hope he was paid well for his trouble. 

To be released on May 18, 2012, “Battleship” has received largely negative reviews with 37% on Rotten Tomatoes but what us critics think matters little. I managed to see the film at an advanced screening two days before its wide release in North America and the audience responded with enthusiastic applause. I simply shook my head in embarrassment and sighed in defeat at such a reaction. Afraid of having it become a major flop, Universal opened “Battleship” a month early overseas and has earned a respectable $215 million worldwide, enough to cover its production budget but it is unlikely to reach blockbuster status in North America when a far superior film is already in theaters. I am referring to Joss Whedon’s “The Avengers.” Most analysts are pegging a debut of $35 to $40 million, which is already too much. If you’re a fan of dumb CG action films like this one, then you’ve already made up your mind about “Battleship” and nothing I say can dissuade you from seeing it but for anyone possessing at least a modicum of intelligence, you’re once again better off watching “The Avengers” in support of actually good films.

Final Rating: 1.5 out of 5

Lieutenant Colonel Mick Canales: Let's give the world one more day.

Cal Zapata: Who talks like that?! (only people who can't write worth a damn talk like that)

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What to Expect When You're Expecting Review

Rated PG-13 (Crude and Sexual Content, Thematic Elements and Language)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 50 Minutes

Cast-

Elizabeth Banks-Wendy

Cameron Diaz-Jules

Jennifer Lopez-Holly

Anna Kendrick-Rosie

Brooklyn Decker-Skyler

Ben Falcone-Gary

Matthew Morrison-Evan

Rodrigo Santoro-Alex

Dennis Quaid-Ramsey

Chace Crawford-Marco

Chris Rock-Vic

Rob Huebel-Gabe

Thomas Lennon-Craig

Amir Talai-Patel

Joe Manganiello-Davis

Wendi McLendon-Covey-Kara

Rebel Wilson-Janice

Megan Mullally-As Herself

Directed by Kirk Jones

Chris Rock and Thomas Lennon as emasculated men in Lionsgate's "What to Expect When You're Expecting."

Sometimes you really have to wonder if Hollywood is run by a bunch of monkeys wearing expensive suits. Not content with just board games, studio executives have now taken to adapting pregnancy guides into films as well. Next year it’ll be car manuals or even better, a raunchy comedy about plumbing! First published in 1984 and now in its fourth edition, Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Hazel’s What to Expect When You're Expecting has been dubbed ‘the bible of American pregnancy’ with a reported 93% of all expectant mothers having read the book. However, the guide has received criticism for promoting fear and paranoia among pregnant women by emphasizing worst-case scenarios and the fact that Murkoff has no formal medical training. What Murkoff has is a lot of money because she has created an entire series of What to Expect advice books for women. Latching onto its popularity like leeches, some studio executive had the bright idea of turning Murkoff’s book into a full-fledged film despite the fact that it is a pregnancy guide! Lionsgate’s “What to Expect When You're Expecting” has a likable ensemble cast and a few humorous moments but the whole affair feels like an episodic sitcom full of manufactured drama that fails to resonate and is superficially resolved. 

The film follows five couples living in Atlanta, Georgia as they face the trials and tribulations of pregnancy and childbirth. Reality stars Jules (Cameron Diaz) and Evan (Matthew Morrison) discover to their surprise that they are going to be parents after winning the top prize in a celebrity dance-off show. Jules becomes obsessed with learning everything she can about the pregnancy process but argues with Evan on whether they should get their baby circumcised. Rosie (Anna Kendrick) is a young woman who reunites with an old flame from high school named Marco (Chace Crawford) after engaging in a turf war with their respective food trucks. Unfortunately, Rosie becomes pregnant after her one-night stand with him. Holly (Jennifer Lopez) is a struggling photographer who has been trying to conceive a baby for years with her husband Alex (Rodrigo Santoro). They decide to adopt an orphan from Ethiopia but Alex feels that he isn’t ready to embrace fatherhood. He seeks advice from an eccentric group of dads comprised of Vic (Chris Rock), Gabe (Rob Huebel), Craig (Thomas Lennon), and Patel (Amir Talai) who ‘blow off steam’ in the local park. Finally, Wendy (Elizabeth Banks), author and owner of a boutique named The Breast Choice, has managed to conceive a baby with her husband Gary (Ben Falcone) after trying for two years. Gary has an estranged relationship with his father, Ramsey (Dennis Quaid), a former race car champion for NASCAR now married to a much younger woman named Skyler (Brooklyn Decker). When Ramsey reveals that Skyler is pregnant with twins, Gary ends up engaging in another petty competition with his father. 

Eric Hynes of The Village Voice perfectly sums up “What to Expect When You're Expecting”: ‘[the film] strictly follows Hollywood's culturally appeasing comedy template: sophomoric mockery of all that's held sacred followed (and neatly corrected) by an affirmation of traditional values.’ Like Gary Marshall’s “Valentine’s Day” from 2010, director Kirk Jones’ latest effort is nothing but groan-inducing cliché after cliché with underdeveloped characters who are little more than simplistic stereotypes. None of the individual subplots prove to be all that interesting and are loosely interconnected with each other, usually by coincidence. The script from Shauna Cross and Heather Hach touches upon a number of complex issues with raising children but its episodic structure and sitcom-like situations set up to garner a few cheap laughs ultimately undermine the film. Anna Kendrick’s Rosie suffers a traumatic event early in her pregnancy in what is the film’s sole emotional scene that recalls Pixar’s “Up” from 2009 but the consequences of it are quickly pushed aside and are superficially dealt with. The financial burden and fear of not being ready to raise a child is also touched upon with Jennifer Lopez and Rodrigo Santoro’s characters but the script goes nowhere with it and resolves all of the problems that each couple go through with a neat little bow manufactured to leave the audience with a smile on their faces. Lopez even whines at one point that she’s the one who ‘can't do the one thing that a woman is supposed to be able to do,’ a line that borders on being misogynistic. 

The main problem with “What to Expect When You're Expecting” is that it fails to make you emotionally invest in what the characters are going through because the issues they deal with feel trivial and have little basis in reality. Much of what it espouses also feels contradictory. Elizabeth Banks’ Wendy has a hormone-driven meltdown (which always happens to take place in public) where she comes to realize that pregnancy isn’t the ‘miracle’ that it’s made out to be but does a complete 180 when she reaffirms the ‘beauty’ of childbirth while holding her newborn in her arms later in the film. The ending has four of the couples simultaneously arriving in the same hospital to give birth to their children! Talk about synchronized contractions! While it has its fair share of comedy, none of the material is particularly funny outside of a handful of individual moments. The ‘dudes group’ led by Chris Rock elicits a few chuckles as they speak of their emasculation with strange pride but their inclusion is ultimately pointless other than to add more marquee names to the poster. The film lightly touches upon the hardships of pregnancy from Murkoff’s book but offers little insight that is of actual value. Hynes ends his review by remarking that ‘much like the culture at large, [it] insists that pleasure ends when parenting begins, yet also that the parenting life is the only one worth living. God forbid there could be something in between.’ “What to Expect When You're Expecting” is a prime example of the creative bankruptcy that continues to plague Hollywood but what’s even sadder is the fact the audiences enjoy this shallow crap. 

Some of the ensemble cast acquit themselves in their roles despite their characters being written as broad stereotypes. However, Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Lopez come across as whiny, unsympathetic bitches while Matthew Morrison (from Fox’s musical comedy/drama “Glee”) seems to have stepped out of a cheesy soap opera. Maybe he should just stick to television. Elizabeth Banks gives a lively performance and her interactions with her assistant Janice, played by Rebel Wilson, provides much of the film’s laughs (what little there is). Anna Kendrick and Chace Crawford have believable chemistry but their characters aren’t given much to do, as does Chris Rock, whose screen-time amounts to no more than twenty minutes. Dennis Quaid picks up another fat paycheck as an overconfident former race car driver for NASCAR but lacks the energy to pull off the role convincingly. Brooklyn Decker is just another pretty face while the rest of the male cast including Ben Falcone and Rodrigo Santoro end up being written as totally clueless schmucks, victims of their wives crazed and obsessive antics. 

“What to Expect When You're Expecting” will be released on May 18, 2012 and has so far received largely negative reviews with 30% on Rotten Tomatoes. I doubt it will stray far from this number by the end of the week. Films like this are relatively inexpensive to make and despite competition from “Battleship,” “The Dictator,” and box office juggernaut “The Avengers,” it should turn a decent profit due to the lack of female-centric fare in theaters right now. I managed to obtain tickets to an advanced screening of the film and as expected, much of the audience leaned toward female but what was shocking is that there was actually applause once the end credits began to roll. Has standards really fallen so low? Honestly, I’m inclined to say yes given the current popularity of trashy literature such as E. L. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey…but that is a topic best left for another time, perhaps when the film adaptation is released. Unfunny and full of clichés, “What to Expect When You're Expecting” is an ill-conceived film packed with stereotypical characters and manufactured drama that fails to meaningfully explore the difficulties that women face during pregnancy and childbirth. You might as well just go see “The Avengers” for the umpteenth time.

Final Rating: 2 out of 5

“I just wanted the glow. The one that they promise you on the cover of those magazines. Well, I'm calling it—pregnancy sucks. Making a human being is really hard. I have no control over my body or my emotions.”  

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The Avengers Review

Rated PG-13 (Intense Sequences of Sci-Fi Violence and Action Throughout, and a Mild Drug Reference)

Running Time: 2 Hours & 22 Minutes

Cast-

Chris Evans-Steve Rogers/Captain America

Robert Downey Jr.-Tony Stark/Iron Man

Chris Hemsworth-Thor

Mark Ruffalo-Dr. Bruce Banner/The Hulk

Scarlett Johansson-Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow

Jeremy Renner-Clint Barton/Hawkeye

Tom Hiddleston-Loki

Samuel L. Jackson-Nick Fury, Director of SHIELD

Cobie Smulders-SHIELD Agent Maria Hill

Clark Gregg-SHIELD Agent Phil Coulson

Stellan Skarsgård-Dr. Erik Selvig

Gwyneth Paltrow-Pepper Potts

Paul Bettany (voice)-Jarvis

Alexis Denisof (voice)-The Other/Chitauri Leader

Directed by Joss Whedon

Captain America (Chris Evans), Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.) and Thor (Chris Hemsworth) assemble in Marvel's "The Avengers."

I didn’t think Marvel could pull it off but not only did the comic book giant succeed, they knocked it out of the park and into the cosmos! Four years ago in 2008, “Iron Man” ended with a post-credits scene where Nick Fury, played by Samuel L. Jackson in an uncredited cameo, attempted to recruit Robert Downey Jr.’s Tony Stark for the ‘Avengers Initiative.’ This left comic fans salivating and a month later, “The Incredible Hulk” was released with Downey Jr. reprising his role as Stark in a mid-credits scene. Although the idea for an “Avengers” film stretched as far back as 2005, these attempts to create a shared universe like the comic books remained something of a pipe dream until 2010’s “Iron Man 2” began laying the necessary groundwork. This continued in 2011’s “Thor” and “Captain America: The First Avenger” but the project didn’t become a reality until filming finally commenced in April 2011 with fan favorite Joss Whedon confirmed as director at the 2010 Wizard World convention. Predictable story aside, “The Avengers” is nothing but a resounding success thanks to Whedon’s confident direction, witty dialogue, and the large amount of awesome spectacle on display that will leave geeks begging for more. This is not just any comic book film; this is an unprecedented cinematic achievement that has to be experienced even if you are not familiar with its rich source material. Summer 2012 has officially kicked off…with a bang! 

After being recovered by Howard Stark at the end of World War II, the Tesseract (Cosmic Cube in the comics) is now in the hands of the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division or SHIELD, led by director Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson). At a remote facility where the Tesseract is being monitored by scientist Dr. Erik Selvig (Stellan Skarsgård), commanding officer Maria Hill (Cobie Smulders) reveals to Fury that the cube is being activated by an unknown force. The Tesseract releases a large amount of energy and opens a portal that allows the exiled and disgraced Asgardian Loki (Tom Hiddleston) to invade the Earth. Loki has allied himself with an alien race called the Chitauri, who are led by a mysterious benefactor. Fury and Hill are unable to prevent the mad god from stealing the cube, who also uses his scepter to control the minds of Selvig and SHIELD agent Clint Barton/Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner). Faced with an imminent threat that could destroy the world, Fury activates the ‘Avengers Initiative’ and recruits Steve Rogers/Captain America (Chris Evans), Tony Stark/Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), Thor (Chris Hemsworth), Dr. Bruce Banner/The Hulk (Mark Ruffalo), and Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) to not only find the Tesseract but also to defend the Earth from Loki and his army of Chitauri. 

During its 2 hours and 22 minute running time, “The Avengers” is nothing but pure fan service full of not only eye-popping action scenes but also individual character moments that elevate the film from its rather flimsy story. The overarching plot can be boiled down to Loki attempting to take over the Earth using the unlimited energy potential of the Cosmic Cube (or Tesseract in the film) and much of what happens won’t be a total surprise to those who are familiar with the comics, like his attempt to turn the Hulk against the others (a reference to The Avengers #1 from 1963). The personal drama of each of the characters such as Rogers trying to get used to living in the modern world or the burgeoning relationship between Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) and Tony Stark, are touched upon but are left to be explored in their individual films, which is a wise move by Whedon and co-writer Zak Penn. What Whedon instead does is treat the entire team as if it was one character, focusing on the interactions between all these disparate individuals and the scene with all our heroes finally assembled while the camera slowly pans around them is nothing short of…orgasmic for lack of a better term. The pacing and the build-up to this moment is handled exceptionally well with the audience breaking out into loud applause. Comic fans worried about the logistics of the film, wondering if a cast member would get shortchanged but Whedon makes sure that everyone has a chance to shine, be it a dialogue or an action scene. Being geniuses, Stark and Banner are immediately drawn to one another and it was great fun to see them discuss their work in a pseudo-scientific way while also drawing parallels between the traumatic events that turned them into who they are today. Whedon’s witty dialogue is in full effect as well and having Rogers butt heads with Stark, one an old-fashioned idealist and the other a philandering playboy, was highly enjoyable. Even though the end of the world is grim stuff, the film is full of hilarious moments that keep the tone light but never to the point of full-on campiness ala 1997’s “Batman & Robin.” 

As expected, “The Avengers” has quite a lot of action and the final 45 minutes has the team engaging in a gargantuan battle with the full might of the Chitauri fleet that leaves most of lower Manhattan under a pile of burning rubble (I cannot imagine the costs to repair everything). The finale recalls last year’s “Transformers Dark of the Moon” but what separates the two films is the fact that we actually care about the characters and the desperate situation they are in. Michael Bay, this is how you make an epic action sequence! The heroes fight amongst themselves almost as much as they fight Loki with Thor trading blows with not only Iron Man but the Hulk as well. The special effects range from competent to excellent with the only sore spots being the obvious CG when the SHIELD Helicarrier rises out of the water. Alan Silvestri handles the score but while it’s appropriately loud and bombastic, it’s not particularly memorable and you soon forget that it’s even there once the punches start being thrown. “The Avengers” is another film that is post-converted to 3D and although I stuck with good-ol’ fashioned 2D, most critics noted that the added extra dimension was fine even though it was not on the level of James Cameron’s “Avatar.” Those who opt for the 3D version won’t feel like they are being ripped off. 

The fact that Whedon is such a comic book fan and knows these characters like the back of his hand allows the ensemble cast to shine through. Robert Downey Jr. is afforded the most screen-time, letting his smug charisma carry the film while Chris Evans excels with his ‘aw shucks’ attitude and idealism from a bygone era. The scene when he fully steps into his role as the leader of the Avengers sent chills down my spine. Chris Hemsworth is in fine form as Thor but perhaps the biggest surprise is Mark Ruffalo, who replaces Edward Norton as Dr. Bruce Banner. Knowing the eventual backlash if he screwed up, Ruffalo fully commits to the role with a number of standout scenes that speak to how mentally unstable Banner is, that he can lose control without warning but he’s more or less resigned to his fate as a raging green monster. Having him perform his own motion capture was also a smart move because it allows the actor to further get into the mindset of the Hulk. By the way, the overeager smile the Hulk gave when Captain America tells him to start smashing was absolutely priceless despite the level of destruction around them. Scarlett Johansson adds a bit more depth to Black Widow but she’s still too bland when compared to her lively co-stars. The only actor that is underserved is Jeremy Renner’s Hawkeye, who spends much of the film under Loki’s mind control. Finally, Tom Hiddleston continues to be brilliant and compelling as the mad Asgardian god Loki, whose intense psychotic rage is hidden beneath a charming smile and sympathetic eyes. Samuel L. Jackson and Cobie Smulders help provide support while Gwyneth Paltrow, Stellan Skarsgård, and Clark Gregg reprise their roles from previous films. 

“The Avengers” was released on May 4, 2012 to critical acclaim with a whopping 94% on Rotten Tomatoes! Critics hailed the script for ‘never [forgetting] its heroes' humanity and [with] no shortage of super-powered set-pieces, [the film] lives up to its hype—and raises the bar for Marvel at the movies.’ With anticipation building since 2008, it came as no surprise that the film would have a massive opening weekend but no one foresaw its record-breaking $200.3 million debut, making it the fastest film to reach such an amount while leaving “Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows Part 2” flapping in the wind. So far, it has earned $642 million worldwide and I don’t see anything stopping it from making $1 billion or more. Nolan certainly has his work cut out for him with July’s “The Dark Knight Rises.” I saw “The Avengers” at a morning matinee and the audience thoroughly enjoyed the film, although an obnoxious kid was sitting next to me and could not shut up with the random noises. Alas, always a con of seeing movies in the theater. Joss Whedon delivered with “The Avengers” and while it lacks the depth of something like 2008’s “The Dark Knight,” this is by one of the finest and most enjoyable comic books films I’ve ever experienced. Marvel, I eagerly wait for the future but for now…AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!

Final Rating: 5 out of 5

“There is no throne! There is no version of this where you come out on top! Maybe your army will come, maybe it's too much for us, but it's all on you! Because if we can't protect the Earth, you can be damn sure we'll avenge it!”

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