That's My Boy Review

Rated R (Crude Sexual Content Throughout, Nudity, Pervasive Language and some Drug Use)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 56 Minutes

Cast-

Adam Sandler-Donny Berger

Andy Samberg-Todd Peterson/Han Solo Berger

Leighton Meester-Jamie

Robert Van Winkle aka 'Vanilla Ice'-As Himself

Milo Ventimiglia-Chad

James Caan-Father McNally

Eva Amurri Martino-Young Mary McGarricle

Susan Sarandon-Older Mary McGarricle

Blake Clark-Gerald

Meagen Fay-Helen

Tony Orlando-Steve Spirou

Peggy Stewart-Grandma Delores

Dan Patrick-Randall Morgan

Will Forte-Phil

Rachel Dratch-Phil's Wife

Nick Swardson-Kenny

Luenell Campbell- Champale

Ciara Harris-Brie

Directed by Sean Anders

Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg star in "That's My Boy," a comedy that will cause brain-damage.

Eric Eisenberg of CinemaBlend remarks in his review of "That's My Boy" that 'at some point Adam Sandler simply gave up.' Discovering that he was a natural comic, Sandler began his career performing in comedy clubs at the insistence of his brother Scott and was discovered by stand-up comedian Dennis Miller when he caught Sandler's act in Los Angeles. At the time, Miller was a cast member on NBC's sketch comedy/variety show "Saturday Night Live" and recommended Sandler to producer Lorne Michaels, who hired the aspiring comedian as a writer in 1990. Sandler was officially added to the "SNL" cast in 1991 but was fired from the show four years later in 1995, along with Chris Farley. However, this didn't mark the end of Sandler's career as the comedian began transitioning toward films, starting with 1995's "Billy Madison." It wasn't until 1998 when Sandler had his first of twelve hits with "The Waterboy," which grossed $186 million worldwide against a production budget of only $23 million. In the film, Sandler played a man-child with a heart-of-gold and fourteen years later, he's still playing the same role and reaping millions at the box office. Squandering its R-rating and featuring one of the most annoying characters ever created on-screen, "That's My Boy" is an excruciating two-hour exercise full of tired sex jokes that will only appeal to brain-dead degenerates. "Piranha 3DD," you now have someone to keep you company on the list of worst films of 2012. 

In 1984, a dim-witted teenager named Donny Berger sleeps with and ends up impregnating his middle school teacher, Mary McGarricle (Eva Amurri Martino). When the school (and the entire student body) discovers the affair, McGarricle is sentenced to thirty years in prison while Donny becomes an instant tabloid celebrity, raking in millions of dollars from his newfound notoriety. Hitting rock-bottom as an adult, Donny (Adam Sandler) is faced with a three-year prison sentence for tax evasion unless he can repay $43,000 to the IRS. He discovers that his son—who changed his name from Han Solo (yes, that is his name) to Todd Peterson (Andy Samberg) and moved out when he was eighteen—is now a successful hedge-fund manager about to be married to a beautiful woman named Jaime (Leighton Meester) on the cover of Parade magazine . Knowing that Todd would never loan him the money, Donny instead concocts a sleazy scheme where he convinces his son to visit his mother in prison and film the reunion for a tabloid talk-show hosted by Randall Morgan (Dan Patrick). On the eve of the wedding, Donny shows up at the summer home of Todd's boss in Cape Cod, Massachusetts to put his plan in action but is dismayed to learn that Todd has told everyone that his parents had died in a fiery explosion. Introducing his father as his best friend who 'saved his life,' Todd finds himself in one outrageous situation after another. As he spends time bonding with his son, Donny begins to have second thoughts about his plan and decides to mend his relationship with Todd. 

Last year's "Jack and Jill" was one of the worst films of 2011 (3% on Rotten Tomatoes) but Adam Sandler remains undeterred by such overwhelmingly critical disdain and sinks to new lows with "That's My Boy," a painfully unfunny comedy full of juvenile/vulgar sex jokes that will leave its audience with an IQ of zero, if they weren't already. Despite the tasteless premise, the prologue did elicit a few chuckles but the film never does anything particularly clever with it and the clichéd script feels as if it was written by a hormone-addled fifteen-year-old boy who watched one too many porn movies, which is surprising since the writer is David Caspe, the creator of ABC's hilarious sitcom "Happy Endings." Also mentioned by Eric D. Snider on Film.com, the potential of poking fun at society's double standards on underage relationships, where a thirteen-year-old girl is considered to be a rape victim if she sleeps with her teacher in contrast with a thirteen-year-old boy who is viewed as a hero represents a missed opportunity as the film instead goes for the lowest common denominator, spreading the asinine message that people should reduce themselves into loud-mouthed idiots. Although freed from the restraints of a PG-13 rating that Sandler's comedies usually receive, "That's My Boy" squanders it's R-rating by scraping the bottom of the barrel with a lazy assortment of gags involving an obese stripper with pasties, masturbating to pictures of the bride's grandmother (Peggy Stewart), and of course, bodily fluids such as vomit and semen. In a desperate attempt to one up itself, the film even introduces a twist involving incest, as if statutory rape wasn't enough. The only funny moment is when Susan Sarandon pops up for a cameo as an older Mary McGarricle, which is ironic since Sarandon is Eva Amurri Martino's mother. Not content with just being crass, the film throws in racially offensive comments about Chinese people where Todd's future mother-in-law Helen (Meagen Fay) glibly asks Todd if he's 'a Chinaman' after demonstrating his math skills. What's even more shocking is that the audience erupted in laughter at this! Listening to Donny's grating Boston accent for two hours feels like having a drill in your ears and will test the very limits of your patience, to the point where you want someone to rip out his vocal cords and end the misery. To even ask that we sympathize with the character is both emotionally manipulative and hypocritical. 

Once again, Adam Sandler plays a man-child for the umpteenth time and what's really sad is that the actor has proven himself to be above such material. 2002's "Punch-Drunk Love," 2007's "Reign Over Me" and 2009's "Funny People" represents Sandler's best work but his audience seems to be devoid of any intelligence and avoided those films. Andy Samberg is rather dull as the uptight Todd and all the women, especially Leighton Meester, are shown to be little more than conniving b*tches or slutty bimbos. The film is already tasteless and offensive, might as well add misogynistic while you're at it. The supporting cast includes Milo Ventimiglia as an over-aggressive marine and James Caan as a fist-throwing Irish priest while washed-up rapper Vanilla Ice (Robert Van Winkle) plays a parody of himself. A slew of "SNL" veterans also show up in small roles such as Will Forte, Rachel Dratch, and Nick Swardson. 

"That's My Boy" was released on June 15, 2012 and has received largely negative reviews to no one's surprise with 25% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics derided Sandler as 'repeating himself to diminishing effect—and dragging Andy Samberg down with him.' I saw the film at an advanced screening on Thursday night and it was embarrassing to watch the audience laugh at every inane joke and mindless gag. This is why crap like this keeps getting released as there are always people who are happily willing to eat it up, similar to how flies are attracted to garbage all the time. Sandler has built up a huge fan-base but it seems like the negative buzz is finally catching up to him as "That's My Boy" is projected to land in third place this weekend with $20 to $25 million, allowing Adam Shankman's much superior "Rock of Ages" to take second place. There's still a chance that Sandler could have his thirteenth $100 million hit and in that case, expect more schlock like this. Unfunny, offensive, and misogynistic, "That's My Boy" continues Adam Sandler's losing streak and once again earns a spot on the list of worst films of the year but my opinion ultimately matters little as audiences will still continue to flock to this crap in droves.

Final Rating: 1 out of 5

"WASSUP!" (Listening to this in Donny's voice for two hours will make your ears bleed.)