Pompeii 3D Review

Rated PG-13 (Intense Battle Sequences, Disaster-Related Action and Brief Sexual Content)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 38 Minutes

Cast-

Kit Harington-Milo

Emily Browning-Cassia Severus

Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje-Atticus

Kiefer Sutherland-Senator Quintus Attius Corvus

Jared Harris-Marcus Cassius Severus

Carrie-Anne Moss-Aurelia Severus

Jessica Lucas-Ariadne

Sasha Roiz-Proculus

Joe Pingue-Graecus

Currie Graham-Bellator

Dylan Schombing-Young Milo

Jean-Francois Lachapelle-Milo's Father

Rebecca Eady-Milo's Mother

Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson

Man, that wind machine is quite powerful.

Note: Screened on Wednesday, February 12, 2014 at AMC Empire 25.

In his review, Jordan Hoffman describes "Pompeii" as 'basically a whole lot of sitting around [while] waiting for the THING that got you into the theater to happen' but Paul W.S. Anderson's big-budget disaster flick remains a disappointingly derivative picture even when said thing finally happens. Destroyed and buried under four to six meters of ash and pumice when Mount Vesuvius suddenly erupted in 79 AD, the Roman city of Pompeii has always fascinated me because the inhabitants are literally frozen in time, with full-body plaster casts eerily capturing their final moments of agony. Doug Stewart of Smithsonian magazine writes that 'it was as though an eyewitness from antiquity had stepped forward with photographs of the disaster.' Due to the lack of air and moisture, the objects buried beneath the city have been remarkably well-preserved for almost two thousand years, providing a rare snapshot of Roman life during the Pax Romana. The idea of a film set during the final days of Pompeii certainly had potential but Anderson and his writers squander all that by simply ripping off of James Cameron's "Titanic" and Ridley Scott's "Gladiator." Since making his directorial debut in 1994 with the crime film "Shopping," Anderson's career has pretty much coasted on the "Resident Evil" franchise, based on the popular video game series published by Capcom. Although none of his work has ever earned a positive consensus on Rotten Tomatoes, I admit to having a soft spot for 1995's "Mortal Kombat," arguably one of the better films based on a video game, and a fighting one at that. Unfortunately, it looks like his streak of negative reviews is set to continue unabated. The final thirty-or-so minutes of "Pompeii" are without a doubt visually impressive but the rest of the film is just dull filler that fails to engage in any meaningful way.

Led by the sneering Commander Quintus Attius Corvus (Kiefer Sutherland) and his equally corrupt aide Proculus (Sasha Roiz), an army of Roman legionaries brutally wipe out a Celtic tribe of horsemen in Londinium, Britannia, circa 62 AD. The only survivor of this massacre is young Milo (Dylan Schombing), who hid beneath a pile of corpses while witnessing his parents being slaughtered. However, he is soon captured and sold into slavery. Seventeen years later, an adult Milo (Kit Harington) is now a deadly gladiator where he is forced to battle for his life every day in violent matches for the amusement of the blood-thirsty crowd. His talent as a fighter catches the eye of Graecus (Joe Pingue), who decides to take the gladiator with him to the Roman resort city of Pompeii. While en route, Milo crosses paths with Cassia (Emily Browning), who hails from the wealthy Severus family. She takes a liking to him due to his natural affinity to horses. Arriving on the eve of the Vulcanalia festival, Milo is pitted against reigning champion Atticus (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje), an African slave on the verge of earning his freedom. All he has to do is kill his new opponent. Also on-hand to take part in the festivities is Corvus himself, now a senator who lusts after Cassia. He threatens her parents—Marcus (Jared Harris) and Aurelia (Carrie-Anne Moss)—with blackmail, forcing them to agree to let their daughter to marry him. Meanwhile, Milo warms up to Atticus, with the two becoming fast friends and inspiring a rebellious spirit within each other. However, an even greater danger looms overhead in the form of volcano Mount Vesuvius.

The main draw of any disaster film has always been the disaster itself and Paul W.S. Anderson's "Pompeii" is no different but he and his team of writers (Lee and Janet Scott Batchler, and Michael Robert Johnson) could've at least made an effort to think outside the box when it came to the story. Blatantly derivative, the film is essentially just an artless photocopy of James Cameron's "Titanic," with almost every plot point lifted wholesale from the 1997 Academy Award-winning hit. The only difference is the historical tragedy at its center. What we have here are types instead of characters and what's worse is that Anderson doesn't even try to hide the fact that he's just slowly spinning his wheels until the grand finale by frequently cutting to an ominous shot of Mount Vesuvius. The central romance in "Titanic" may have been too cheesy for all intents and purposes but Cameron at least spent time developing his characters so that when the eponymous ship finally sank, there would be a real emotional weight to it. Don't look for that here in "Pompeii;" outside of two scenes and the finale, Milo and Cassia barely have any screen-time together. As Collider's Matt Goldberg writes, their love story basically boils down to 'I'm a nice person; you're a nice person.' Not content with just ripping off one film, Anderson also 'borrows' from Ridley Scott's "Gladiator," right down to the inclusion of Juba, I mean Atticus. There's some enjoyment to be found in the arena-set action scenes but it's hampered by the PG-13 rating. However, they're not as incompetently edited compared to January's atrocious "The Legend of Hercules." Of course, people are paying to see the big bad volcano explode and Anderson certainly pulls out all the stops with fireballs raining down from the sky and a massive tsunami hitting the city. It's all visually impressive, although not quite worth the premium price of 3D. Plus, the destruction goes on for far too long and becomes mind-numbingly dull after the first ten minutes.

The performances don't leave much of an impression, with "Game of Thrones" alum Kit Harington doing his best as slave-turned-invincible gladiator Milo but he fails to imbue the character with enough of a personality for him to stand out. Emily Browning's Cassia is miswritten as a modern girl in a Roman world and is later reduced to another throwaway damsel-in-distress. As main villain Quintus Attius Corvus, Kiefer Sutherland is woefully miscast as he shouts and sneers with his ridiculously distracting accent. It's hard to believe that Corvus and Jack Bauer are even played by the same person. The only worthwhile actor to watch is Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, who manages to lend his character Atticus some semblance of depth while offering up a few funny one-liners. In fact, he provoked the biggest reaction from the audience (much to my annoyance) and frankly, I wished the film had Akinnuoye-Agbaje as the lead instead of Harington. Rounding out the rest of the cast is Jared Harris and Carrie-Anne Moss, who are fine in their roles as Cassia's wealthy parents but they do little to hide the fact that they're only appearing in the film to just pick up a paycheck.

Released on February 21, 2014, "Pompeii" has received largely negative reviews with 31% on Rotten Tomatoes. I imagine Anderson is pretty used to such a reception by now. Critics concluded that 'this big-budget sword-and-sandal adventure lacks the energy and storytelling heft to amount to more than a guilty pleasure.' With "The LEGO Movie" still playing in theaters, "Pompeii" will be lucky to reach an opening weekend debut of $15 million and will have to pick up the slack overseas given its $100 million production budget. The destruction of Pompeii is a fascinating moment in world history as its subsequent preservation provides a rare glimpse to the past but in the hands of Paul W.S. Anderson, the 16,000 Roman citizens who perished are nothing more than cannon fodder for a mediocre disaster film that will all but be forgotten come next week.

Final Rating: 2 out of 5

"You could hear the shrieks of women, the wailing of infants, and the shouting of men. People bewailed their own fate or that of their relatives, and there were some who prayed for death in their terror of dying. Many besought the aid of the gods, but still more imagined there were no gods left."