A Million Ways to Die in the West Review

Rated R (Strong Crude and Sexual Content, Language Throughout, Some Violence and Drug Material)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 56 Minutes

Cast-

Seth MacFarlane-Albert Stark

Charlize Theron-Anna Barnes-Leatherwood

Neil Patrick Harris-Foy

Amanda Seyfried-Louise

Giovanni Ribisi-Edward

Sarah Silverman-Ruth

Liam Neeson-Clinch Leatherwood

Christopher Hagen-George Stark

Wes Studi-Cochise

Evan Jones-Lewis

Aaron McPherson-Ben

Brett Rickaby-Charlie Blanche

Alex Borstein-Millie

Ralph Garman-Dan

John Aylward-Pastor Wilson

Jay Patterson-Doctor Harper

Amick Byram-Marcus Thornton

Matt Clark-Old Prospector

Rex Linn-Sheriff/Narrator

Directed by Seth MacFarlane

Despite the talented cast, Seth MacFarlane's "A Million Ways to Die in the West" ends up being a middling comedy.

Note: Screened on Tuesday, May 20, 2014 at AMC Empire 25.

How many ways are there to die in the Wild West? According to "Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane, a MILLION! Unceremoniously cancelled by FOX after three seasons back in 2002 due to low ratings, the oft-controversial animated sitcom "Family Guy" returned to primetime television three years later thanks to a small but extremely dedicated fan-base, who devoured the show when Cartoon Network began airing reruns of it on their late-night programming block Adult Swim. The DVD box sets of the first two seasons were also released the same week the show premiered on Adult Swim and sold in record numbers, transforming "Family Guy" into a cult phenomenon and rekindling FOX's interest. Since the show's unprecedented revival, MacFarlane has built himself a multi-billion dollar animated empire that includes "Family Guy" spin-off "The Cleveland Show" and the absurdly satirical political comedy "American Dad!" Despite "The Cleveland Show" being cancelled in 2013 after four seasons (again due to low ratings) and "American Dad!" moving to TBS later this year, MacFarlane shows no sign of slowing down, even when faced with a critically-panned live-action show like "Dads" (now cancelled) and a divisive hosting gig on the 85th Academy Awards (personally, I thought he did a great job).

MacFarlane made the jump to the big screen in 2012 with his feature-length directorial debut "Ted," about a middle-aged man-child (played by Mark Wahlberg) and his foul-mouthed, anthropomorphic teddy bear, voiced by—who else—MacFarlane! The well-reviewed film (68% on Rotten Tomatoes) went on to become the most successful original R-rated comedy of all time, grossing an impressive $549.4 million worldwide. Naturally, a sequel is in the works (set for release next summer) but MacFarlane decided to go off the beaten path before diving into "Ted 2" by making and starring in a western, one suited to his unique comic sensibilities. It's a strange choice, given that westerns have often struggled to find commercial success at the box office. Oh sure, there was 2010's "True Grit" and 2012's "Django Unchained" but how many western comedies can you name that were successful? Off the top of my head, only Mel Brooks' 1974 hit "Blazing Saddles" comes to mind. MacFarlane's sophomore effort, titled "A Million Ways to Die in the West," is a far cry from Brooks' comedy classic as it never quite escapes the feeling of being a self-indulgent vanity project despite boasting a talented cast and some solid laughs.

The joke surrounding their characters is one-note but Giovanni Ribisi and Sarah Silverman make the most of it.

Living in the small dustbowl town of Old Stump in 1882 Arizona, Albert Stark (Seth MacFarlane) is an honest, good-hearted sheep farmer who's unfortunately a big coward. After weaseling his way of a gunfight with another rancher, Albert finds himself unceremoniously dumped by his girlfriend Louise (Amanda Seyfried), who explains that she needs time to 'work on herself.' A heartbroken Albert falls into a depression, with his already pessimistic outlook of life on the Western frontier only growing when he discovers that Louise has begun seeing well-to-do businessman and mustache aficionado Foy (Neil Patrick Harris). Albert's best friend Edward (Giovanni Ribisi) and his prostitute girlfriend Ruth (Sarah Silverman) try to cheer Albert up while he mopes at home in the company of his surly parents but the sheep farmer has had enough of the Wild West and begins plotting a move to San Francisco. However, a chance encounter with the beautiful and mysterious Anna Barnes (Charlize Theron) changes his mind. After saving her during a chaotic bar fight, Anna decides to repay Albert by giving him shooting lessons so that he can beat Foy in a duel and win back Louise. Albert and Anna slowly start falling for each other but their burgeoning romance hits an obstacle when cutthroat bandit Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson) suddenly rides into town to retrieve his wife, Anna!

Seth MacFarlane's "A Million Ways to Die in the West" is one of those frustratingly mediocre comedies that's really funny when the jokes manage to hit their mark but spends too much time treading water in between said jokes, resulting in a film that has worn out its welcome by the time the second hour rolls around. Now I applaud MacFarlane for trying to do something different. After all, the comedic multi-hyphenate could've simply taken an easy paycheck by rushing "Ted 2" into production but his latest feature unfortunately feels like a self-indulgent vanity project, as if no one on the set wanted to speak up and tell MacFarlane that 'This is a bad idea' or 'That isn't very funny.' Watching the opening credits (which consist of six minutes of aerial shots of Monument Valley), you'll notice that in addition to directing, MacFarlane also co-wrote the script with frequent collaborators Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild, and shares a producing credit with six other people (amongst them is, of course, Sulkin and Wild). But that's not all as MacFarlane also cast himself in the lead role. Hell, the guy even adapted his own script into a full-length novel (his first), which was published back in March. This is another classic case of giving someone too much creative control after experiencing a runaway success.

Granted, "A Million Ways to Die in the West" isn't a complete disaster. The central conceit revolves around how brutal the Western frontier was and that people often die young from something as mundane as a snake bite. It's actually a pretty novel premise considering the way American culture has romanticized the Wild West, especially in history textbooks. This leads to some fairly amusing bits like people literally dying from their own farts or not smiling in photographs because life was so miserable. However, the keyword here is 'amusing' because there's almost nothing in the film that will leave you in stitches. There are some exceptions, like this one scene where curious onlookers react with amazement upon seeing Foy take out a whole dollar and a surprise celebrity cameo at the end. Long stretches go by without a single laugh, making the film feel like a drag even at only two hours. Most damning of all is the way MacFarlane self-sabotages himself. Early in the film, his character Albert Stark sits down and goes on a long rant in front of Edward and Ruth, explaining just how bad living on the Western frontier is, thereby ruining the entire joke and premise. It's as if he didn't trust his audience enough to figure out the punchline unless they were explicitly told how brilliant it was. Also problematic is that MacFarlane doesn't seem to know what kind of film he wants to make. He initially presents viewers with this heightened reality where a person can be gored by a bull that comes out of nowhere or a couple suddenly catches fire from having their photograph taken but then the film shifts into this earnestly saccharine western romance, resulting in a picture that feels tonally confused. The only aspect that I can praise without any reservation is the production and costume design as the attention to period detail is quite remarkable. Michael Barrett's cinematography is exquisite and Joel McNeely's score blares with pomp and circumstance. Too bad it's all in service to a comedy that just isn't very funny.

Don't mess with Liam Neeson!

With the exception of a few guest roles on television, notably on "Gilmore Girls" and "Star Trek: Enterprise," Seth MacFarlane's acting career has been limited to voice work. "A Million Ways to Die in the West" marks his first live-action lead role and he fares…okay. The biggest issue with MacFarlane's performance is that it feels like he's just playing a slightly exaggerated version of himself. Considering all the diverse animated characters he's brought to life with his voice, it's a real shame he didn't at least try to challenge himself a little. Fortunately, MacFarlane has surrounded himself with a talented cast, although he doesn't always utilize it to his full advantage. Charlize Theron is obviously having a lot of fun playing a character who likes to let loose and one of the stronger aspects of the film is her easy rapport with MacFarlane as the two trade jokes about the rampant dangers of the Wild West. Giovanni Ribisi and Sarah Silverman play a couple who are waiting until they're married to have sex but the irony here is that Silverman's character is a prostitute who has sex day in and day out for money. While the joke itself is one-note, Ribisi and Silverman make the most of it. However, they disappear for a large stretch of the film and by the time they return, you'll likely have forgotten they were in it in the first place. Neil Patrick Harris steals every scene he's in. I mean, the guy can take a juvenile joke like sh*tting into a hat and turn it into comedy gold. One of the best lines Harris has is when his character humiliates Albert by telling him he can give Louise luxuries like 'wrapped candies.' It's one of the few truly hilarious moments in the film. Liam Neeson is fine as outlaw Clinch Leatherwood but Amanda Seyfried is stranded with an underwritten role as a shallow nineteenth century girl.

Released on May 30, 2014, "A Million Ways to Die in the West" has received largely negative reviews with a paltry 33% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics described it as an 'overlong, aimless [and] disappointingly scattershot affair.' The film initially looked like it could've been a solid hit but it landed with a resounding thud when it finally arrived in theaters, grossing a weak $16.8 million during its weekend debut. That's worse than past comedy flops like 2009's "Year One" and "Land of the Lost," 2012's "The Dictator," and last year's "The Internship." Still, MacFarlane's latest isn't a total flop as it managed to double its production budget with a current worldwide tally of $82.1 million. The premise holds promise and it's a well-made film but as a comedy, "A Million Ways to Die in the West" is a middling affair.

Final Rating: 2.5 out of 5

"The American West is a terrible place in time. Everything out here that's not you wants to kill you. Angry drunk people, hungry animals, outlaws...the f*cking doctor!"