Monday, June 6, 2011

Hellraiser: Bloodline Blu-Ray Review

Rated R (Strong Horror Violence and Gore, and for Some Sexuality and Language)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 25 Minutes

Cast:
Bruce Ramsay-Phillip Lemarchand/John Merchant/Dr. Paul Merchant
Doug Bradley-Pinhead
Valentina Vargas-Princess Angelique
Christine Harnos-Rimmer
Paul Perri-Edwards
Pat Skipper-Carducci
Wren T. Brown-Parker
Tom Dugan-Chamberlain
Adam Scott-Jacques
Mickey Cottrell-Duc de L'Isle
Charlotte Chatton-Genevieve Lemarchand
Kim Myers-Bobbi Merchant
Courtland Mead-Jack Merchant
Jody St. Michael-Chattering Beast
Michael Polish-Twin Cenobite #1
Mark Polish-Twin Cenobite #2

Directed by Kevin Yagher (as Alan Smithee) and Joe Chappelle

Pinhead goes to space in "Hellraiser: Bloodline"!
Oh, how the mighty have fallen! As with the “Leprechaun” and “Friday the 13th" franchises, the fourth (and last to be released in theaters) film of the “Hellraiser” series, “Hellraiser: Bloodline” sends our favorite Cenobite Pinhead to space, the final frontier! With a dearth of new ideas, writers seem to favor sending our favorite horror icons, whose long-running franchises have already overstayed their welcome, to space in a last, desperate attempt to squeeze out just one more film and whatever pennies leftover from gullible moviegoers. The original “Hellraiser” was released twenty-four years ago in 1987 and was wildly inappropriate for a child when I viewed the film around the ages of four or five. I consider “Hellraiser” to be a horror classic because it didn’t fall into the usual slasher conventions that were popular at the time. The ‘villain’ known as Pinhead, played by Doug Bradley, wasn’t necessarily evil but was an articulate, intelligent, demonic angel that granted the person that summoned him unimaginable pleasure. Too bad that pleasure involved extreme flesh-ripping pain and suffering, among other sadomasochistic acts! The second film, 1988’s “Hellbound: Hellraiser II” is an inferior, yet still worthy follow-up but the series showed signs of wear when “Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth” arrived in 1992 and by 1996, the release of “Hellraiser: Bloodline” proved that it was time to put Pinhead out to pasture. While this fourth film remains watchable and features the prerequisite blood and gore, “Bloodline” scrapes the bottom of the barrel with its lackluster and incoherent storytelling, laughable dialogue, and atrocious performances from its no-name cast. 

In the year 2127, Dr. Paul Merchant (Bruce Ramsay) hijacks the orbiting space station Minos, which he built, and solves the puzzle box known as the Lamont Configuration by remotely controlling a robot. The diabolical Cenobite known as Pinhead (Doug Bradley) is summoned from Hell but before Paul can enact his plan, security guards led by Rimmer (Christine Harnos) capture and detain him for interrogation. Paul reveals that time is of the essence but seeing no other way, begins to tell the story of his cursed bloodline to convince a skeptical Rimmer. Four hundred years ago, his French ancestor Philip Lemarchand (also Ramsay) was a struggling toymaker who creates the Lamont Configuration for a wealthy aristocrat named Duc de L'Isle (Mickey Cottrell). Unbeknownst to Lemarchand, Duc de L'Isle plans to use the puzzle box to summon forth a demon. He skins an innocent peasant woman to use as a vessel for the demon, who is revealed to be a Cenobite named Princess Angelique (Valentina Vargas). Lemarchand witnesses this and furiously works on a new design called the Elysium Configuration, which can destroy summoned Cenobites and permanently close any portals to Hell. This design is worked on by his descendants but one of them, a brilliant architect named John Merchant (again Ramsey) living in present-day New York City, encounters Angelique, who is working with Pinhead and seeks world domination. In order to stop him, his future descendant, Paul, must convince Rimmer of the truth and face the enemy that has haunted his bloodline for generations. 

“Hellraiser: Bloodline” wants to be both prequel and sequel but ends up botching it all with a rushed and confused storyline. This fourth installment wants to explore the origins of the Lamont Configuration and tie up any loose ends to the series but everything feels like a rough outline of a longer film. Here, Pinhead has quite a lot of screen-time but he’s been reduced to a clichéd, cookie-cutter megalomaniacal monster. He sits in the shadows stroking doves while going on these long monologues about how he’s so powerful and that he’s going to dominate the world but the dialogue Doug Bradley’s forced to recite ends up feeling artificial, as if the writers were trying too hard to make him sound deviously poetic. Often times, it just eats into the running time and his monologues become nothing but nonsense. Sure, Bradley looks and sounds awesome and the film is at its best when he appears but it has no story impact at all. In fact, it works against the character and makes him look foolish such as near the end, Pinhead encounters Paul as he sets up the space station to self-destruct (this is before he uses the hologram as a distraction). He could’ve just ended him right then and there, securing total victory for Hell but no; Pinhead just stands there and yaps some more nonsense! The final third of the film becomes a generic slasher flick as Pinhead slowly stalks his victims in sparse, cheaply built sets. In fact, everything has a cheap-vibe with its minimalist sets, making it feel less of a film and more of a low-budget, direct-to-video feature, which ironically is what became of the “Hellraiser” franchise. 

Although there’s some exploration of the sadomasochistic themes that populated the original and, to a lesser extent, its sequel, all of it feels tacked on and goes nowhere. Angelique is presented as a seductress and a dominatrix but we don’t get anything showing how she works. There’s the usual blood and gore but it’s edited too clumsily to allow us to appreciate it. Heads get lopped off, hooked chains rip apart flesh and twins even get their skin painfully connected to form a new Cenobite. You'll notice that the director’s name is Alan Smithee. No such person exists and it is in fact a pseudonym used by directors who disowned the final product because of dissatisfaction or lack of creative control. The real director is Kevin Yagher, whose original version was more graphic, longer, and more coherent plot-wise but the producers wanted Pinhead to appear sooner and edited the film behind his back. Dissatisfied, he left the project and Joe Chappelle was brought on to finish the remaining scenes and re-shot footage that includes the framed narrative device. Although I doubt Yagher’s version was a masterpiece, I am curious in reading the script he had in mind. 

The acting is amateurish and fits into the low-budget vibe. Of course, Doug Bradley is still awesome as the malevolent Cenobite Pinhead but he does very little in the film. He stands around, laughs, says some sinister dialogue and that’s really about it. I half-expected him to stroke his evil mustache and cackle! Valentina Vargas is mostly there for eye-candy and even when transformed into a Cenobite with her flesh ripped open on her head, revealing her skull, she is still sexy. It must be all that tight leather. She also has a great sex scene that shows off her…assets. Everyone else either overacts to comedic effect or does very little to hide the fact that they’re slumming for a paycheck. 

“Hellraiser: Bloodline” arrives as a stand-alone Blu-Ray or part of a double feature that includes 2000’s “Hellraiser: Inferno,” the first “Hellraiser” film to be released direct-to-video and certainly not the last. Picture quality is average at best but close-ups reveal some nice detail. Darker scenes unfortunately end up being too murky. Audio is the same as it musters up every ounce of energy but still comes up short, failing to add any real atmosphere. There are absolutely no special features (not even subtitles or other languages!) but the back of the case proudly states that there is a menu you can use to navigate the film’s chapters. Wow, how amazing! It just blows my mind! 

“Hellraiser: Bloodline” was released into theaters on March 8, 1996 and failed to scare up the box office with a paltry domestic total of $9 million against a $4 million production budget. There’s only eighteen reviews counted on Rotten Tomatoes with 27% but most critics agree that it was scraping the bottom of the barrel. I’m surprised Clive Barker is listed as an executive producer but he must’ve had little input on the project; otherwise we wouldn’t have gotten this half-baked space adventure. While not a total abomination, “Hellraiser: Bloodline” is still a bad horror flick and it’s really sad that this is how Pinhead went out in his last appearance in theaters. Of course, we all know this isn’t the end, as Dimension Films released five direct-to-video sequels after this one. This is one of the few times where I want a remake!

Final Rating: 2 out of 5

“Glorious, is it not? The creatures who walk its surface, always looking to the light, never seeing the untold oceans of darkness beyond. There are more humans alive today than in all of its pitiful history. The Garden of Eden. A garden of…flesh!”