Rated
PG-13 (Sexual Content and Language)
Running
Time: 1 Hour & 45 Minutes
Cast-
Michael
Douglas-Billy
Robert
De Niro-Paddy
Morgan
Freeman-Archie
Kevin
Kline-Sam
Mary
Steenburgen-Diana
Romany
Malco-Lonnie
Jerry
Ferrara-Dean
Michael
Ealy-Ezra
Joanna
Gleason-Miriam
Bre
Blair-Lisa
Noah
Harden-Young Billy
RJ
Fattori-Young Paddy
Aaron
Bantum-Young Archie
Phillip
Wampler-Young Sam
Olivia
Stuck-Young Sophie
Directed
by Jon Turteltaub
 |
| Nothing like watching old dudes get their freak on. |
Note: Screened on Tuesday, October 29, 2013 at the Ziegfeld Theater (Red Carpet Premiere).
In
Jon Turteltaub's latest film "Last Vegas," the four main characters, played
by Michael Douglas, Robert De Niro, Morgan Freeman, and Kevin Kline, find
themselves as judges for a poolside bikini contest but once all the contestants
are presented, the host (rapper 'Redfoo' in a cameo) decides to remove his pants
and thrusts his Speedo-wrapped crotch in De Niro's face. The Oscar winner's expression
is ironically not of disgust but of wearisome defeat; it's the look of an actor
who just doesn't really care anymore. With six Academy Awards between the four
of them (two for Douglas and De Niro, one each for Freeman and Kline), in addition
to nine nominations, these men have come to a point in their careers where they
can pretty much star in any crappy film and get away with it. Unlike their younger
peers, they have nothing to lose because they've already proven countless times
to be great actors. That being said, it still doesn't excuse them for appearing
in tripe like "Last Vegas." The distinguished cast is obviously having
fun, with their amiable presence keeping the picture afloat but the story is utterly
predictable right from the first minute and the comedy is too cringe-inducing
to be funny. While the dramatic bits prevent "Last Vegas" from becoming
one of the worst films of the year, its appeal will likely be limited to the AARP
crowd.
Calling
themselves the 'Flatbush Four,' childhood friends Billy (Michael Douglas), Paddy
(Robert De Niro), Archie (Morgan Freeman), and Sam (Kevin Kline) were once thick
as thieves while growing up in Brooklyn during the mid-1950's but fifty-eight
years later, the quartet have all drifted apart. A married Sam is now residing
in Florida, surrounded by seniors and bored out of his mind. Archie is monitored
incessantly by his son Ezra (Michael Ealy) after suffering a mild stroke. Paddy
has become a recluse since the death of his wife Sophie one year ago. The only
one still enjoying the high life is Billy, who currently lives in a Malibu beach
house with his thirty-one year old girlfriend Lisa (Bre Blair). While giving a
eulogy at his mentor's funeral, Billy abruptly decides to propose and Lisa, although
embarrassed at the attention, happily accepts. Billy immediately shares the good
news with Sam and Archie, informing them that the wedding will be held in Las
Vegas. Seeing this as a golden opportunity to reunite, Sam and Archie decide to
throw the best bachelor party ever for their old friend. Despite Paddy's estrangement
from Billy since Sophie's death, the 'Flatbush Four' are quickly brought back
together and eager to storm Sin City for a night of drinking, gambling, and sex
(with the aid of Viagra of course). However, Billy and Paddy reopen old wounds
when they begin developing feelings for lounge singer Diana (Mary Steenburgen),
in spite of the former's impending marriage.
If
you've ever wondered what would happen if the Wolf Pack from Todd Phillips' "The
Hangover" trilogy returned to Las Vegas while pushing seventy, complete
with fanny packs and titanium hips, then Jon Turteltaub's latest film is custom-made
for you. Written by Dan Fogelman (whose previous credits include 2011's "Crazy,
Stupid, Love" and 2012's "The Guilt Trip"), "Last Vegas"
is a relatively harmless comedy that's eager to please but the problem is that
it just isn't very funny and certain plot elements are disconcerting to say the
least. The film opens in 1955 and introduces us to pre-teen versions of the 'Flatbush
Four' before jumping ahead fifty-eight years later, where we're greeted with a
shot of female cellulite jiggling beneath the surface of a Florida community pool.
Within a span of five minutes, 'Are you dead?' gags and jokes about sagging breasts
are being thrown about and it doesn't take long for the little blue pill to
enter the picture as Kevin Kline's Sam is given a free pass at infidelity from
his wife (Joanna Gleason). He responds by jumping for joy once she drives away.
Are we supposed to find it hilarious that he's been given permission to cheat
on his spouse? Naturally, this leads to Sam flirting with a woman that's decades
younger than him and its unsettling to watch when she tries to seduce him late
in the film. In fact, the women in "Last Vegas" are only used to give
these lecherous old men erections. Any female who's over sixty is pushed aside.
By the time our quartet is judging a poolside bikini contest, the comedy has already
reached cringe-inducing proportions.
The
drama fares a bit better but not by much due to the story being utterly predictable.
"Last Vegas" is ultimately a tale of friendship, which is put to the
test when Paddy refuses to forgive Billy for missing his wife's funeral. The
script does take a few twists and turns in resolving this conflict but there's
never any doubt that the two will put it all behind them by the end and return
to being best friends. Just as formulaic is the romance. It's telegraphed well
in advance that Billy will eventually change his mind regarding his marriage to
Lisa, especially once Diana enters the picture. In between these dramatic bits are
a series of lamely comedic set-ups that at best will produce an occasional chuckle.
When Archie rakes in over a hundred grand at the blackjack table, he and his
friends are upgraded to a penthouse suite at the Aria (a fact that the film is keen
to constantly remind you of), complete with their own personal concierge (Romany
Malco). Of course, since these guys are old, they don't even know how to pull back
the window curtains. Pretty much every joke is at the expense of the characters'
ages and it just gets tiresome when the punch-line is 'Because they're old!'
for the umpteenth time.
The
sole bright spot in "Last Vegas" is the cast, whose interactions at
least provide a modicum of entertainment value. Most of the heavy lifting is provided
by Michael Douglas and Robert De Niro, with the two actors managing to deliver serviceable
performances in spite of the weak material they're given here. Douglas' Billy,
complete with a spray-on tan, is a veritable ladies man who finds himself struggling
with the reality of his own age while De Niro's Paddy is unable to move on from
his wife's passing. The way each character handles their issues and tries to
rebuild a fractured friendship lends the film honesty and helps ground the
story amidst all the creaky hijinks. Supplying much of the comedy is Morgan
Freeman and Kevin Kline. Both have their own individual arcs but they're
largely inconsequential. Watching their characters enjoy all the debauchery
that Las Vegas has to offer provides a nice counterbalance to Billy and Paddy's
subplot and it's obvious that Freeman and Kline are having a ton of fun, even
though the laughs they garner feel strained. Playing the love interest is Mary
Steenburgen, whose character is a bit one-note but the actress is just so
charming in the role and has a great singing voice. Although Steenburgen is
sixty, she's still quite fetching. Rounding out the cast is Romany Malco and Jerry
Ferrara (from HBO's "Entourage"). Their presence doesn't really add
much to the film and both could've been excised without any harm to the script
whatsoever.
Released
on November 1, 2013, "Last Vegas" has received largely mixed reviews
with 43% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics noted that 'the cast…keep things amiably
watchable, but the film is mostly a mellower Hangover retread for the older set.' Despite being screened rather
heavily prior to its release (as far back as June), the film still managed to
pull in a solid $16.3 million during its opening weekend and was greeted warmly
by audiences. A final tally of $50 to $55 million is possible at this point
given the lack of crowd-pleasing material for older moviegoers. You'll get a
few chuckles out of "Last Vegas" and the cast seem to be enjoying
themselves but the film just plays it too safe while it strains for laughs. Considering
that it boasts four Oscar winners, I expected a lot better.
Final
Rating: 2.5 out of 5
"Boy,
these Red Bull vodkas are strange…I feel like I'm getting drunk and
electrocuted at the same time!"
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