Parker Review

Rated R (Strong Violence, Language Throughout and Brief Sexual Content/Nudity)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 58 Minutes

Cast-

Jason Statham-Parker

Jennifer Lopez-Leslie Rodgers

Nick Nolte-Hurley

Michael Chiklis-Melander

Wendell Pierce-Carlson

Clifton Collins Jr.-Ross

Micah A. Hauptman-August Hardwicke

Emma Booth-Claire

Bobby Cannavale-Officer Jake Fernandez

Patti LuPone-Ascension

Carlos Carrasco-Norte

Daniel Bernhardt-Kroll

Kip Gilman-Danzinger

Directed by Taylor Hackford

Jason Statham may look good in a suit but his movies are still mediocre.

Note: Screened on Wednesday, January 23, 2013, at the Museum of Modern Art.

Some films are just so dull and generic that their reviews can practically write themselves. Case in point: "Parker," another in a long line of Jason Statham-action thrillers based on the 2000 novel Flashfire from acclaimed American author Donald E. Westlake, published under the pseudonym Richard Stark (no relation to Tony Stark). Having written over a hundred novels before passing away in 2008 due to a sudden heart attack, Westlake is best-known for creating ruthless career criminal/anti-hero Parker and while the character has been the subject of numerous film adaptations (among them being 1967's "Point Blank" and 1999's "Payback" starring Mel Gibson), this is the first time where his on-screen incarnation shares the same name as his counterpart in the novels. Given the character's cold professionalism and efficiency, the role of Parker is well-suited to Statham's limited range as an actor. Since his big screen debut in director Guy Ritchie's "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" in 1998, Statham has carved himself a nice niche in Hollywood with a string of B-movie action flicks. He's not exactly a huge box office draw, averaging only $30 million per film but at least he's consistent and has enough charisma to make up for his lacking range. Unfortunately, Statham has already worn out his welcome by playing the same character over and over again for the past fifteen years and he exhibits no sign of ever stepping outside his comfort zone. Despite having Taylor Hackford at the helm, "Parker" is ultimately a dull and by-the-numbers crime caper that's twenty minutes too long and only manages to distinguish itself with one good action scene while the rest of the film plods along. 

Leading a four-man team consisting of Melander (Michael Chiklis), Carlson (Wendell Pierce), Ross (Clifton Collins Jr.), and the sniveling August Hardwicke (Micah A. Hauptman), a disguised Parker (Jason Statham) pulls off a successful heist at the Ohio State Fair, stealing a cool $1 million but when Melander demands everyone to put their share toward a high-profile jewel heist with an even bigger payoff, Parker refuses. The other men immediately turn on him, forcing Parker to make a quick exit by jumping out of a moving van. After being fatally wounded, he is left for dead in a ditch until a kindly farmer comes upon his body and drives him to the nearest hospital to recuperate. With the help of his girlfriend's (Emma Booth) father and mentor Hurley (Nick Nolte), a revenge-seeking Parker tracks Melander and his men to West Palm Beach, Florida. To locate their hideout, he enlists the aid of struggling real estate agent Leslie Rodgers (Jennifer Lopez) while posing as a wealthy Texan looking to buy a new home. However, Rodgers sees through Parker's disguise and wanting to leave her boring life behind, demands the thief to let her in on his plans. Meanwhile, Hardwicke learns from his brother that Parker is still alive and sends a knife-wielding assassin (Daniel Bernhardt) after him using his connections with the Chicago mob. 

The first fifteen minutes of "Parker" show a lot of promise, with Hackford staging an elaborate and tautly-paced heist set during the Ohio State Fair. Unfortunately, once Melander and his men betray Parker, the film loses its momentum and simply meanders along for the next two hours. The script from John J. McLaughlin is as generic as they come—a predictable tale of revenge that Statham has done so many times that to call it cliché is already a cliché in and of itself. A number of superfluous subplots are included to stretch out the running time, with characters like Hurley and his daughter Claire doing little to advance the story yet the worst offender is Jennifer Lopez's Leslie Rodgers. Not only is her inclusion totally unnecessary but her character feels like it was ripped out of a Lifetime soap opera as she cries about how dull and meaningless her life is. It makes little sense as to why Parker would even care about her problems, let alone allow her to become his accomplice considering how clumsy she is. Straining credulity even further is Statham's laughable attempt at a Texan accent and the fact that Leslie manages to access Parker's entire bank account and credit history with just a click of a button on her computer, which calls into question his competency as a thief. Hackford also devotes way too much screen-time on Parker's search for Melander's hideout, to the point where the film feels like a protracted travel commercial for West Palm Beach. What could've been a beautiful-looking film is instead marred by cheap production values, giving it the appearance of a low-budget television movie. "Parker" is not as action-packed compared to Statham's previous efforts but the few action scenes included are well-done, with a particularly nasty brawl between Parker and the knife-wielding assassin sent by the Chicago mob that takes place in a high-rise hotel room. That scene, along with the film's opening, is the only time when "Parker" can be called 'entertaining.' The rest is just a dull, clunky, and uninspired mess. 

I've always admired Jason Statham for doing his own stunts and "Parker" shines in those few moments where he's pummeling someone in the face. As for his performance, this is a role that Statham has done countless times already and you can feel that he's on autopilot here, exhibiting none of the charisma that made even his worst films watchable. Faring even worse is Jennifer Lopez. Why is she even in the film? The initial marketing establishes her as Parker's love interest but that's not true and whatever love triangle that Hackford was going for is wasted since Emma Booth has so little screen-time. Statham and Lopez have absolutely zero chemistry and there's even an eye-rolling scene where Lopez drops her clothes in a blatant attempt to show off her derrière. Michael Chiklis is given little to do as the main villain besides shouting at his henchman to find Parker. The rest of the supporting cast has pointless roles, with Nick Nolte barely decipherable as Parker's former mentor and Bobby Cannavale as a police officer who appears to be stalking Leslie but goes missing during the finale. 

Released on January 25, 2013, "Parker" has received negative reviews with 35% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics called it 'a thoroughly generic and convoluted heist movie.' During the advance screening (which was also the film's premiere) on Wednesday, the audience applauded and cheered, oblivious to all its flaws. I have to wonder if some of them were paying lip service to Hackford. Given the lack of a strong marketing push and Statham's recent string of bombs, the film will quickly fade away at the box office. Taylor Hackford was responsible for 2004's brilliant "Ray;" he can obviously do better than this. Statham fans will eat up "Parker" like its caviar but it doesn't change the fact that it's just another lazy January release that audiences should avoid.

Final Rating: 2 out of 5

"I don't steal from people who can't afford it, and I don't hurt people that don't deserve it."