Rated
R (Strong Violence, Language Throughout and Brief Sexual Content/Nudity)
Running
Time: 1 Hour & 58 Minutes
Cast-
Jason
Statham-Parker
Jennifer
Lopez-Leslie Rodgers
Nick
Nolte-Hurley
Michael
Chiklis-Melander
Wendell
Pierce-Carlson
Clifton
Collins Jr.-Ross
Micah
A. Hauptman-August Hardwicke
Emma
Booth-Claire
Bobby
Cannavale-Officer Jake Fernandez
Patti
LuPone-Ascension
Carlos
Carrasco-Norte
Daniel
Bernhardt-Kroll
Kip
Gilman-Danzinger
Directed
by Taylor Hackford
 |
| Jason Statham may look good in a suit but his movies are still mediocre. |
Note: Screened on Wednesday, January 23, 2013, at the Museum of Modern Art.
Some
films are just so dull and generic that their reviews can practically write
themselves. Case in point: "Parker," another in a long line of Jason
Statham-action thrillers based on the 2000 novel Flashfire from acclaimed American author Donald E. Westlake, published
under the pseudonym Richard Stark (no relation to Tony Stark). Having written
over a hundred novels before passing away in 2008 due to a sudden heart attack,
Westlake is best-known for creating ruthless career criminal/anti-hero Parker
and while the character has been the subject of numerous film adaptations
(among them being 1967's "Point Blank" and 1999's "Payback"
starring Mel Gibson), this is the first time where his on-screen incarnation
shares the same name as his counterpart in the novels. Given the character's cold
professionalism and efficiency, the role of Parker is well-suited to Statham's
limited range as an actor. Since his big screen debut in director Guy Ritchie's
"Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" in 1998, Statham has carved
himself a nice niche in Hollywood with a string of B-movie action flicks. He's
not exactly a huge box office draw, averaging only $30 million per film but at
least he's consistent and has enough charisma to make up for his lacking range.
Unfortunately, Statham has already worn out his welcome by playing the same
character over and over again for the past fifteen years and he exhibits no
sign of ever stepping outside his comfort zone. Despite having Taylor Hackford
at the helm, "Parker" is ultimately a dull and by-the-numbers crime
caper that's twenty minutes too long and only manages to distinguish itself
with one good action scene while the rest of the film plods along.
Leading a
four-man team consisting of Melander (Michael Chiklis), Carlson (Wendell
Pierce), Ross (Clifton Collins Jr.), and the sniveling August Hardwicke (Micah
A. Hauptman), a disguised Parker (Jason Statham) pulls off a successful heist
at the Ohio State Fair, stealing a cool $1 million but when Melander demands
everyone to put their share toward a high-profile jewel heist with an even
bigger payoff, Parker refuses. The other men immediately turn on him, forcing
Parker to make a quick exit by jumping out of a moving van. After being fatally
wounded, he is left for dead in a ditch until a kindly farmer comes upon his
body and drives him to the nearest hospital to recuperate. With the help of his
girlfriend's (Emma Booth) father and mentor Hurley (Nick Nolte), a
revenge-seeking Parker tracks Melander and his men to West Palm Beach, Florida.
To locate their hideout, he enlists the aid of struggling real estate agent
Leslie Rodgers (Jennifer Lopez) while posing as a wealthy Texan looking to buy
a new home. However, Rodgers sees through Parker's disguise and wanting to
leave her boring life behind, demands the thief to let her in on his plans. Meanwhile,
Hardwicke learns from his brother that Parker is still alive and sends a
knife-wielding assassin (Daniel Bernhardt) after him using his connections with
the Chicago mob.
The first fifteen minutes of "Parker" show a lot of
promise, with Hackford staging an elaborate and tautly-paced heist set during the
Ohio State Fair. Unfortunately, once Melander and his men betray Parker, the
film loses its momentum and simply meanders along for the next two hours. The
script from John J. McLaughlin is as generic as they come—a predictable tale of
revenge that Statham has done so many times that to call it cliché is already a
cliché in and of itself. A number of superfluous subplots are included to
stretch out the running time, with characters like Hurley and his daughter
Claire doing little to advance the story yet the worst offender is Jennifer
Lopez's Leslie Rodgers. Not only is her inclusion totally unnecessary but her
character feels like it was ripped out of a Lifetime
soap opera as she cries about how dull and meaningless her life is. It makes
little sense as to why Parker would even care about her problems, let alone allow
her to become his accomplice considering how clumsy she is. Straining credulity
even further is Statham's laughable attempt at a Texan accent and the fact that
Leslie manages to access Parker's entire bank account and credit history with
just a click of a button on her computer, which calls into question his
competency as a thief. Hackford also devotes way too much screen-time on
Parker's search for Melander's hideout, to the point where the film feels like
a protracted travel commercial for West Palm Beach. What could've been a
beautiful-looking film is instead marred by cheap production values, giving it
the appearance of a low-budget television movie. "Parker" is not as
action-packed compared to Statham's previous efforts but the few action scenes
included are well-done, with a particularly nasty brawl between Parker and the
knife-wielding assassin sent by the Chicago mob that takes place in a high-rise
hotel room. That scene, along with the film's opening, is the only time when
"Parker" can be called 'entertaining.' The rest is just a dull,
clunky, and uninspired mess.
I've always admired Jason Statham for doing his
own stunts and "Parker" shines in those few moments where he's
pummeling someone in the face. As for his performance, this is a role that
Statham has done countless times already and you can feel that he's on
autopilot here, exhibiting none of the charisma that made even his worst films
watchable. Faring even worse is Jennifer Lopez. Why is she even in the film?
The initial marketing establishes her as Parker's love interest but that's not
true and whatever love triangle that Hackford was going for is wasted since
Emma Booth has so little screen-time. Statham and Lopez have absolutely zero
chemistry and there's even an eye-rolling scene where Lopez drops her clothes in
a blatant attempt to show off her derrière. Michael Chiklis is given little to
do as the main villain besides shouting at his henchman to find Parker. The
rest of the supporting cast has pointless roles, with Nick Nolte barely
decipherable as Parker's former mentor and Bobby Cannavale as a police officer
who appears to be stalking Leslie but goes missing during the finale.
Released
on January 25, 2013, "Parker" has received negative reviews with 35%
on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics called it 'a thoroughly generic and convoluted
heist movie.' During the advance screening (which was also the film's premiere)
on Wednesday, the audience applauded and cheered, oblivious to all its flaws. I
have to wonder if some of them were paying lip service to Hackford. Given the
lack of a strong marketing push and Statham's recent string of bombs, the film
will quickly fade away at the box office. Taylor Hackford was responsible for
2004's brilliant "Ray;" he can obviously do better than this. Statham
fans will eat up "Parker" like its caviar but it doesn't change the
fact that it's just another lazy January release that audiences should avoid.
Final
Rating: 2 out of 5
"I don't steal from people who can't afford it, and I don't hurt people that don't deserve it."
Posts
