Rated
PG-13 (Intense Sequences of Fantasy Violence and Action, and Some Suggestive Content)
Running
Time: 2 Hours & 10 Minutes
Cast-
Lily
Collins-Clarissa 'Clary' Fray
Jamie
Campbell Bower-Jonathan 'Jace' Wayland
Robert
Sheehan-Simon Lewis
Kevin
Zegers-Alexander 'Alec' Lightwood
Jemima
West-Isabelle Lightwood
Jonathan
Rhys Meyers-Valentine Morgenstern
Aidan
Turner-Luke Garroway
Lena
Headey-Jocelyn Fray
Godfrey
Gao-Magnus Bane
Jared
Harris-Hodge Starkweather
Kevin
Durand-Emil Pangborn
Robert
Maillet-Samuel Blackwell
C.
C. H. Pounder-Madame Dorothea
Harry
Van Gorkum-Alaric/Werewolf
Stephen
R. Hart-Brother Jeremiah
Directed
by Harald Zwart
 |
| Use the force and shake that hair like you just don't care! |
Note: Screened on Monday, August 19, 2013 at AMC Empire 25.
I
wonder how studio executives reacted once they learned that the so-called
"Twilight Saga" had earned over $3.3 billion worldwide by the time the fifth (and last) film exited theaters
back in March. They probably spat out their coffee and promptly sent all their assistants
to the local Barnes & Noble with orders to buy every young adult novel on
store shelves in the hopes of finding that one
special title that would strike box office gold. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem
like their efforts are really paying off. Big screen adaptations of both
"Beautiful Creatures" and "The Host" flopped earlier this
year and only barely covered their production budgets once foreign grosses were
factored in. Will the same fate befall Harald Zwart's "The Mortal Instruments:
City of Bones"? Not to sound like a Negative Nancy but I don't think it'll
be the massive hit that Screen Gems/Sony is hoping for. At least fans will get a
sequel regardless of how much the film earns as "City of Ashes" has already
been green-lit and set to go into production in September. Based on the 2007
novel in the best-selling Mortal Instruments
series by Cassandra Clare (obviously a pseudonym as her legal name is the more
mundane Judith Rumelt), "City of Bones" liberally borrows from every piece
of urban fantasy in existence but despite how derivative the film is, it remains
a fun and surprisingly engaging guilty pleasure thanks to its endearing cast and
self-aware humor.
Set
in contemporary New York City, Brooklyn native Clarissa 'Clary' Fray (Lily Collins)
is your normal, everyday teenage girl but her world is turned upside down when
she witnesses a murder at a nightclub with her friend Simon Lewis (Robert Sheehan).
Clary learns that the murder was committed by group of demon hunters called 'Shadowhunters'
after she encounters one of them, the blond-haired, tattooed Jonathan 'Jace' Wayland
(Jamie Campbell Bower) at a coffee shop. Meanwhile, two renegade Shadowhunters,
Emil Pangborn (Kevin Durand) and Samuel Blackwell (Robert Maillet), kidnap Clary's
mother Jocelyn (Lena Headey) while searching for a chalice known as the 'Mortal
Cup,' one of three divine objects dubbed the 'Mortal Instruments.' To rescue
her mother and retrieve the Cup, Clary enlists the help of Jace and his fellow Shadowhunters,
the brother-sister duo Alec and Isabelle Lightwood (Kevin Zegers and Jemima
West), and also learns of her family's history with the Clave from their leader
Hodge Starkweather (Jared Harris). Clary must quickly learn to master her burgeoning
Shadowhunter abilities if she is to face Valentine Morgenstern (Jonathan Rhys
Meyers), the leader of a group of renegade Shadowhunters who call themselves 'the
Circle.'
Vampires,
werewolves, and demons, oh my! "The Mortal Instruments: City of
Bones" certainly isn't lacking in scope as it throws every supernatural
creature you can think of into the film. Curiously, the author of The Mortal Instruments novels began her
career writing fan-fiction (similar to E.L. James of Fifty Shades of Grey fame), specifically Harry Potter fan-fiction. Her magnum opus was The Draco Trilogy, which reimagined the smug, petty, and spoiled Draco
Malfoy of Slytherin House into a beautiful, angst-ridden anti-hero. You can clearly
see shades of this characterization in Jace Wayland, right down to the tight leather
pants, which ironically went on to become its very own genre trope. The screenplay
for "City of Bones" was written by first-timer Jessica Postigo Paquette
and I have to say, it's a convoluted mess that's frequently bogged down by too
much exposition and not enough proper character development. Fans of the novels
will be able to keep up with its dense mythology but newcomers may have trouble
and find themselves quietly confused by the packed narrative. Despite this issue,
I still found myself enjoying the film because it fully embraces the ridiculous
underworld that Clare has created with its fetishistic black leather costumes and
Goth makeup. The story even introduces a late-plot twist that might not go over
so well with more conservative viewers but the fact that it had the balls to
see it through to the end is something that I respect and admire. Compared to
the aforementioned "Twilight" series, "City of Bones" never
takes itself too seriously and always finds the time to sarcastically poke fun at
itself, whether it'd be the unusual way the Shadowhunters dress or having
werewolves come to the rescue while riding on motorcycles. I'm not even kidding
around here.
I've
already mentioned that "City of Bones" is terribly derivative.
However, this is both a disadvantage and an advantage. There's nothing remotely
original about the film's plot as certain aspects are blatantly lifted from
"Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and even "Star Wars" yet these
reminders is actually part of the reason why I ended up being hooked since the two are so intrinsically linked to my childhood. It does
suffer from a slow-paced second act though as this is where Paquette's script turns
into the typical, clichéd young adult romance that it had largely avoided. We get
scenes of Clary and Jace swooning all over each other, with the two kissing
in a greenhouse just as the sprinklers turn on while a cheesy pop song from
Demi Lovato plays in the background. Fortunately, the action-packed third act succeeds
in ending the film on a strong enough note and includes Isabelle going full-on
Ellen Ripley with a flamethrower. Although the budget is estimated to be $60
million, the production values aren't all that impressive and are more suited
to a television series than a feature film. Still, Zwart manages to populate
the picture with all manner of grotesque creatures, such as a Rottweiler whose
head splits apart while its legs turn into these flailing tentacles. Called a 'Ravener
Demon,' the thing looks like it came straight out of a Resident Evil game, which makes Clary our Jill Valentine.
The
cast is undeniably attractive, especially Lily Collins with her bold eyebrows.
In fact, I found myself distracted at times by her beauty. Collins still has a
long way to go as an actress but she acquits herself in the lead role admirably,
even though Clary can come across as impulsive and clumsy. I'll let that slide
considering this is an origin story for her. Jamie Campbell Bower is, of course,
our angst-ridden bad boy that always seem to make young girls squeal with joy.
Every supernatural tale must have one nowadays. While it's evident that Bower was
cast more for his looks, at least he brings a bit of that dry British humor to
the table. Yes, he also appears shirtless in case you were wondering. Hell,
even the nerdy geek, played by Robert Sheehan, mysteriously loses his clothes after
being kidnapped by a bunch of vampires (thank god it's not the sparkly kind). Jemima
West shines in the action scenes as the resident 'tough chick' Isabelle while Jonathan
Rhys Meyers is clearly having a ball with his over-the-top turn as Valentine
Morgenstern. Pretty soon all these films will end with two half-shirtless guys clashing
their swords together…and I literally meant swords, so get your mind out of the
gutter!
Released
on August 21, 2013, "The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones" has
unsurprisingly received largely negative reviews and currently stands at 26% on
Rotten Tomatoes. The picture doesn't look all that rosy either box office wise
as analysts are predicting a five-day total of less than $20 million. It
definitely would've been prudent for Screen Gems/Sony to take a wait-and-see
approach instead of barreling full steam ahead on a sequel. I'm well aware that
my opinion is in the minority but it comes with the territory of being a film critic.
"The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones" isn't great cinema and Zwart's
direction is too workmanlike to make much of an impression yet there's no
denying that the film has a certain charm with its crazy mythology and
costumes. If people can embrace a man in a metal suit flying around, then the
existence of an underground Goth subculture that hunts demons shouldn't be that
farfetched.
Final
Rating: 3.5 out of 5
"The
werewolves are here to save us. I never thought I'd say that."
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