The Expendables 3 Review

Rated PG-13 (Violence including Intense Sustained Gun Battles and Fight Scenes, and for Language)

Running Time: 2 Hours & 6 Minutes

Cast-

Sylvester Stallone-Barney Ross

Jason Statham-Lee Christmas

Dolph Lundgren-Gunnar Jensen

Terry Crews-Hale Caesar

Randy Couture-Toll Road

Wesley Snipes-Doctor Death

Mel Gibson-Conrad Stonebanks

Antonio Banderas-Galgo

Kellan Lutz-John Smilee

Ronda Rousey-Luna

Victor Ortiz-Mars

Glen Powell-Thorn

Kelsey Grammer-Bonaparte

Harrison Ford-Max Drummer

Jet Li-Yin Yang

Arnold Schwarzenegger-Trench Mauser

Ivan Kostadinov-Krug

Robert Davi-Goran Vata

Directed by Patrick Hughes

Now that's what I call a Kodak moment!

Note: Screened on Wednesday, August 13, 2014 at AMC Empire 25.

"The Expendables" film series has become something of a late-summer biannual tradition. Intended to pay homage to the violent blockbuster action flicks of the 1980s and early 1990s, the first "Expendables" film made its debut back in 2010 and was a box office hit, grossing over $274.4 million worldwide despite mixed reviews (41% on Rotten Tomatoes) but the end result was…less than satisfactory to put it nicely. In fact, it was one of the worst films released that year. The dialogue was atrocious, the action scenes were damn-near incomprehensible, and the only highpoint—the much-hyped scene with Stallone, Schwarzenegger, and Willis—was so fleeting that it isn't even worth mentioning. However, the biggest issue was the tone as the film took itself way too seriously. Fortunately, 2012's "The Expendables 2" managed to set things right by playing things more tongue-in-cheek, with Schwarzenegger and Willis riffing on their action movie catchphrases, 'I'll be back!' and 'Yippee-Ki-Yay!', at one point. The sequel also had an expanded cast that included action fan-favorites Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme, who apparently went full method with his performance as villain Jean Vilain (that is seriously his character's name). Critical reception was more positive (65% on Rotten Tomatoes) and the film was a box office success like the original with its $305.4 million worldwide gross. Because everything in Hollywood comes in threes now, it was pretty much inevitable that we'd get a third "Expendables" film. The violence is hamstrung by its PG-13 rating (the previous two were rated R) but besides that, "The Expendables 3" is just more of the same, for better and for worse.

After breaking out former Expendables member 'Doctor Death' (Wesley Snipes) from an armored train bound for a military prison in fictional Denzali, the rest of the team—Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone), Lee Christmas (Jason Statham), Gunnar Jensen (Dolph Lundgren), and Toll Road (Randy Couture)—turn their attention toward Mogadishu, Somalia, where they are to stop a black market arms deal. Joined by Hale Caesar (Terry Crews), the Expendables discover that their target is none other than Conrad Stonebanks (Mel Gibson), who founded the team with Barney years ago but ended up betraying him and became a ruthless international arms dealer. When Stonebanks nearly kills Caesar in the line of duty, Barney swears revenge. Not wanting to see his remaining colleagues get hurt, he decides to relieve his old team and put together a younger, more tech-savvy group of Expendables with the help of old friend Bonaparte (Kelsey Grammer). The revamped team includes John Smilee (Kellan Lutz), Luna (Ronda Rousey), Mars (Victor Ortiz), and Thorn (Glen Powell). Using information provided by CIA Agent Max Drummer (Harrison Ford), Barney manages to track down Stonebanks' location but he soon realizes that he needs more than new recruits to stop him. 

Mel Gibson is one of the standouts amongst the newcomers to the franchise.

If I had to summarize "The Expendables 3" in one word, it would be 'tired.' This isn't a terrible film by any stretch of the word but it feels like it's just going through the motions at this point. There's a bigger cast, a PG-13 rating and…well, not much else that's new to be honest. Neither as serious as the first film nor as enjoyably campy as the second, this third installment—helmed by "Red Hill" director Patrick Hughes—ends up being a meandering affair, which isn't helped by the unnecessarily long 126-minute running time. For a film that prides itself on being a throwback to the old-school action flicks of the 1980s and early 1990s, there's a surprising lack of action here. The exciting opening scene where the Expendables (sans Caesar) rescues Wesley Snipes' Doctor Death does seem to initially promise a self-parody/self-referential tone like the previous entry (Snipes' character replies that he was jailed for 'tax evasion' when asked). However, the film then settles into draggy set-up mode where Barney, with old friend Bonaparte, looks for fresh recruits to replace his aging team after they're roundly defeated by big bad Conrad Stonebanks. Of course, the youngins get kidnapped by Stonebanks (on their first mission, no less!), forcing Barney to grab his old team, along with Arnold Schwarzenegger's Trench, to rescue them. It's all predictable stuff and I suppose you could view the plot (what little there is) as 'Stallone's commentary on how Hollywood pushed out the old-school action star in favor of younger and less entertaining variations' as Forbes' Scott Mendelson puts it but that's probably reading too much into it. If you can get through the bloated second act, the last half-hour is fairly entertaining and delivers on all of the over-the-top action that you came for. Bear in mind that the violence is largely bloodless and the editing often relies on quick cuts to accommodate the PG-13 rating. It's a damn shame because the action films of yesteryear prided themselves on their gratuitous blood and gore. Chalk it up to the hypocrisy of the MPAA: hundreds of people get killed on-screen but as long as there's no blood, it's A-Okay!

The action is fairly entertaining but it's hamstrung by the PG-13 rating.

The main draw of "The Expendables" franchise has always been its ensemble cast. The newcomers are a mixed bag and the narrative does them no favors in regards to character development (read: there is none). Hell, I didn't even know the names of Kellan Lutz, Ronda Rousey, Victor Ortiz, and Glen Powell's characters until I looked it up in the production notes! Fortunately, there are some standouts. Chief among them is Antonio Banderas, who brings quite a lot of laughs as the fast-talking, hyperactive Galgo. The actor is clearly having a ball as there's never a dull moment whenever Banderas is on-screen. Wesley Snipes and Harrison Ford (replacing Bruce Willis, who was kicked out following a salary dispute) also keeps things tongue-in-cheek with their cheesy one-liners like 'I'm the knife before Christmas' and 'Drummer's in the house!' His inclusion is puzzling but Kelsey Grammer is another fun addition as Bonaparte, a retired mercenary and old friend of Barney's. Although his character is not as 'hands-on' as I would've liked, Mel Gibson still delivers a suitably intense performance as central villain Conrad Stonebanks. One of the best scenes in the film is when Stonebanks spits on and exposes the hypocrisy of Barney's moral compass. With the exception of Stallone, the returning cast members, which include Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Jet Li, Terry Crews, and Randy Couture, are sidelined in favor of the newcomers. Li has only four lines and doesn't even do any martial arts! At least Arnold Schwarzenegger continues to be a good sport as he once again riffs on his cinematic legacy with a well-timed 'GET TO DA CHOPPA!' during the action-packed finale.

Released on August 15, 2014, "The Expendables 3" has received largely negative reviews with 35% on Rotten Tomatoes, making it the lowest-rated entry in the series. Critics noted that 'like its predecessors, [the film] offers a modicum of all-star thrills for old-school action thriller aficionados—but given all the talent assembled, it should have been a lot more fun.' Audience reception at the advance screening was rather muted as well. I noticed one person spent the majority of the film's running time checking his phone. There's also the matter of a pristine copy of the film being leaked online over three weeks ago. The last time such a thing happened was in 2009 with "X-Men Origins: Wolverine." Still, I don't see this incident cutting into ticket sales all that much. It's already projected to open less than the previous installments (about $20 million) and whatever money the film loses here, it'll make up overseas. There's not much more to be said about "The Expendables 3." If you're a fan of the first two, you'll enjoy this one but it's clear that the series is running on fumes at this point.

Final Rating: 2.5 out of 5

"I AM THE HAGUE!"