Total Recall (2012) Review

Rated PG-13 (Intense Sequences of Sci-Fi Violence and Action, Some Sexual Content, Brief Nudity, and Language)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 58 Minutes

Cast-

Colin Farrell-Douglas Quaid/Carl Hauser

Kate Beckinsale-Lori Quaid

Jessica Biel-Melina

Bryan Cranston-Chancellor Vilos Cohaagen

Bill Nighy-Matthias

John Cho-Bob McClane

Bokeem Woodbine-Harry

Will Yun Lee-Marek

Dylan Scott Smith-Hammond

Kaitlyn Leeb-Three-Breasted Prostitute

Directed by Len Wiseman

Is this real? Is this recall? Should you even care about this remake?!

Gleefully violent yet also thought provoking, Paul Verhoeven's "Total Recall," starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and loosely adapted from Philip K. Dick's 1966 short story We Can Remember It for You Wholesale, remains a science fiction classic twenty-two years after its release in 1990. A fond relic of a bygone era, it's the type of film that Hollywood rarely makes anymore so when Columbia Pictures/Sony announced that a remake was in the works in 2009 with Neal H. Moritz's Original Film (cue obligatory chuckle) producing, fans were rightfully outraged. Whoever was chosen to direct had some extremely big shoes to fill. That person turned out to be Len Wiseman but this announcement did little to quell fan skepticism that the project was little more than a cynical cash-grab. The creator of the "Underworld" franchise where his wife, Kate Beckinsale, stars as the leather-clad vampire Death Dealer Selene, Wiseman's career as director/producer stretches back nine years and since then, he's only had one film that received positive reviews: 2007's "Live Free or Die Hard." Well, "Total Recall" has finally arrived in theaters (again!) and while this new version offers plenty of flashy visuals and action scenes, it is ultimately an unnecessary remake that fails to capture the nuance of Verhoeven's classic and is nothing more than a poor pastiche of every dystopian science fiction film released in the past three decades. 

In the year 2084, a global biological war has left much of the Earth uninhabitable and the only places still capable of supporting life is the United Kingdom, now calling itself the United Federation of Britain, and The Colony, formerly Australia. Ruled by Chancellor Vilos Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston), the United Federation of Britain is a sprawling futuristic metropolis where the rich and well-to-do live while the lower classes are forced to carve out a meager existence in the rain-drenched slums of the Colony. A massive transit system dubbed 'The Fall' connects the two nations through the planet's core. Blue collar factory worker Douglas 'Doug' Quaid (Colin Farrell) lives in the Colony with his loving wife Lori (Kate Beckinsale) and spends his mornings commuting to the UFB to his job assembling synthetic police droids. Haunted by dreams of a mysterious woman and longing for a life with actual purpose, Quaid decides to make a trip to Rekall Incorporated, a company that specializes in memory implants that gives its clients experiences of fabulous vacations using alternate identities. However, during the procedure, the company representative, Bob McClane (John Cho), discovers that Quaid has already had his memory erased and demands to know who he is. Suddenly, an armed SWAT team bursts through the door and attempts to arrest Quaid but he manages to kill all of them in an explosive shootout despite having no formal training. A bewildered and confused Quaid returns home to his wife, where she reveals that she is actually a secret agent and that their marriage is a sham as a result of false memory implants. To unravel the secrets of his mind and learn his true identity, Quaid joins forces with a rebel from the Colony named Melina (Jessica Biel) while evading capture from Cohaagen's endless battalion of police droids and SWAT teams. 

In the words of Arnold Schwarzenegger, the original "Total Recall" was 'the best mind-f*ck yet' while Wiseman's remake is all flash with little, if any, of actual substance. Verhoeven's version may have been full of cheeky one-liners and overly-exaggerated violence but what made the film so memorable were its themes of unchecked corporate greed and the nature of fantasy vs. reality. Is what we're seeing on-screen really happening or does it only exists in Quaid's mind? No concrete answers are provided, leaving it up to audiences to formulate their own theories. This ambiguity is entirely absent in the remake and robs much of the suspense from the film. With the exception of its tone and the move from Mars to Earth, the script from Kurt Wimmer and Mark Bomback brings absolutely nothing new to the table. Wiseman himself only seems concerned with throwing as many visual effects at the viewer as he possibly can to keep them from focusing on its paper-thin story, although some of the future tech shown is rather clever, such as a cell phone that is embedded into your hand. Not one penny of its estimated $138 million production budget was wasted but the future looks awfully generic as it rips off of similar dystopian science fiction films, specifically 1982's "Blade Runner" and 2002's "Minority Report," which ironically had Colin Farrell in a supporting role. Hell, Cohaagen's white armored SWAT teams and synthetic police droids are so blatantly plagiarized from "Star Wars" that George Lucas could win a lawsuit against Wiseman for copyright infringement! 

The best parts of the remake are the little nods to the original, such as the three-breasted prostitute played by Kaitlyn Leeb this time around and the obese woman visiting for 'two weeks' yet it also serves as a stark reminder of how much fun Verhoeven's film is. The only element that I can praise is the action but even these scenes end up being dull and repetitive. Wiseman relies on it so much that it leaves all the characters as little more than punching bags as they run from one location to another, occasionally stopping for the briefest moments of exposition. The hand-to-hand combat is well-choreographed, especially during an elevator brawl between Lori and Melina but the editing is often too choppy and frenetic. Some of the action is staged like a platform video game, such as a chase sequence that has Quaid and Melina hopping through a maze of vertical and horizontal elevators. "Total Recall" may deliver on visual spectacle but Wiseman fails to take advantage of its intriguing premise, thereby wasting his opportunity to craft a unique film. 

The performances from the cast aren't terrible, although that's not saying much. Colin Farrell is likable as Douglas Quaid but his character's confused state is all on the surface and the script unfortunately leaves him so bland and devoid of personality that it's hard to feel any sympathy. The same problem applies to Jessica Biel's Melina, who bats her eyes at Farrell and little else. Kate Beckinsale however, appears to be having fun and is in full ice queen bitch mode as Quaid's 'wife' Lori. Michael Ironside's character of Richter has been combined with hers to give Beckinsale more screen-time. Finally, there's Bryan Cranston as Vilos Cohaagen, who is the chancellor of the United Federation of Britain instead of a greedy corporate executive. Cranston is actually quite charismatic but unfortunately, the actor is completely wasted in the role. 

"Total Recall" was released on August 3, 2012 to largely negative reviews with 32% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics noted that 'it boasts some impressive action sequences [but] lacks the intricate plotting, wry humor, and fleshed out characters that made the original a sci-fi classic.' Audience reaction was enthusiastic when I saw the film at an advanced screening this past Thursday and there was even applause. I find that moviegoers nowadays are like children as they are easily dazzled by a couple of flashy visual effects. "The Dark Knight Rises" should remain at the top of the box office with ease while Wiseman's remake should earn a respectable $25 to $30 million in second place. The only competition is "Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days," based on Jeff Kinney's books of the same name but with little interest from audiences, it'll end up with $15 to $20 million behind "Total Recall," although the production budget is incredibly low anyway. "Total Recall" may be packed with action and copious amounts of visual effects but this remake fails to update upon the original in any meaningful way, leaving the film a dull and monotonous affair, much like Quaid's life. You're better off re-watching Verhoeven's version and wiping this one from your memory.

Final Rating: 2 out of 5

"This is going to be hard for you to believe. Whatever you think you remember…is not real. This person you think you are now, it's all a lie."