Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters - An IMAX 3D Experience Review

Rated R (Strong Fantasy Horror Violence and Gore, Brief Sexuality/Nudity and Language)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 28 Minutes

Cast-

Jeremy Renner-Hansel (Cedric Eich-Young Hansel)

Gemma Arterton-Gretel (Alea Sophia Boudodimos-Young Gretel)

Famke Janssen-Muriel

Peter Stormare-Sheriff Berringer

Pihla Viitala-Mina

Thomas Mann-Ben

Derek Mears-Edward the Troll

Robin Atkin Downes (voice)-Edward the Troll

Rainer Bock-Mayor Engleman

Ingrid Bolsø Berdal-Horned Witch

Joanna Kulig-Red Haired Witch

Kathrin Kühnel-Adrianna

Thomas Scharff-Father

Directed by Tommy Wirkola

Gemma Arterton and Jeremy Renner quickly try to memorize the entire script of "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters" mere moments before the camera rolls.

Note: Screened on Thursday, January 24, 2013, at AMC Empire 25.

I wonder how studio executives reacted after hearing Norwegian director Tommy Wirkola's pitch for his latest film, "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters," and even more interestingly, what convinced them to actually green-light it. The entire concept is already summarized in that title and yes, it sounds completely ridiculous, but I was honestly intrigued upon viewing the trailer. Genre mashups are nothing new in Hollywood, with 2011's "Cowboys and Aliens" and last year's "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" being recent examples but both received middling reviews from critics. Unfortunately, "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters" does little to buck that trend; the film aspires to provide some cheeky entertainment but instead bludgeons viewers into submission with loud, repetitive action scenes and features a script so uninspired that it feels like it was hastily scrawled on a piece of toilet paper. 

Abandoned in the forest by their father one night, siblings Hansel and Gretel find themselves at a gingerbread house while trying to make their way back home. The two are quickly captured by an ugly old witch who plans to cannibalize them. She forces Hansel to continuously eat candy while a chained Gretel prepares the oven but the siblings manage to outsmart the witch, pushing her into the oven to be burned alive. Years later, Hansel and Gretel (Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton) grow up to be skilled witch hunters as they are mysteriously immune to their spells and curses. However, Hansel becomes a diabetic as a result of his ordeal with the old witch and must take a shot of insulin every day. Arriving in Augsburg, Germany one day, Hansel and Gretel save a young woman named Mina (Pihla Viitala) from being executed by Sheriff Berringer (Peter Stormare) and reveals that they have been hired by Mayor Engleman (Rainer Bock) to investigate a number of recent child abductions. Their search leads them to Muriel (Famke Janssen), an ambitious witch who plans to sacrifice twelve children on the eve of the 'Blood Moon' in order to achieve ultimate power. 

The great thing about "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters" is that it's only eighty-eight minutes long, which means this is going to be a short review. The film opens with a ten minute prologue that recounts the original Brothers Grimm fairy tale and I have to say, its one heck of a sequence. Dark, foreboding, and twisted, Wirkola's vision here reminded me of American McGee's macabre rendition of Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. However, all sense of imagination goes out the window after the blood-soaked, animated opening credits as the film devolves into a series of repetitive action scenes. Written by Wirkola and D.W. Harper, the already lazy and uninspired script appears to have been hacked to pieces by the editing department, leaving precious little development or exploration between the eponymous siblings' relationship. Hansel and Gretel are reduced to shouting lame one-liners, as Wirkola mistakes flippant uses of the word 'sh*t' and 'f*ck' as being clever. It's obvious that "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters" wants to provide the same cheesy thrills that made Sam Raimi's "Army of Darkness" a cult classic in 1992 but there's such a lack of passion from Wirkola's direction. The story is jam-packed with subplots yet none of it registers because it's in such a hurry to get to the end credits. As for the action scenes, they're suitably gory and brutal, with copious amounts of CG blood, but it tends to get rather boring when a witch flies through a non-descript forest for the umpteenth time. Not to mention that all if it just blends together into a loud, obnoxious blur. The witches themselves resemble a bunch of rejects from a "Hellraiser" flick and the practical effects used to bring Edward the Troll to life are horrid. Compared to the creatures in 2008's "Hellboy II: The Golden Army," it's literally night and day. Although shot in native 3D, there's no reason to see the film in that format as Wirkola fails to take advantage of the extra depth and instead relies on lazy gimmicks like bullets flying toward the screen or blood splatters. 

From an acting standpoint, Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton aren't required to do much beyond their roles' physical demands. They may deliver the occasional quip ('Don't eat the f*cking candy!') but they're largely blank slates as the film never has the opportunity to give these characters at least a modicum of personality. Honestly, I'm surprised Nicholas Cage isn't in it (remember 2011's "Season of the Witch"?). Despite a wandering English accent and being covered in prosthetics most of the time, Famke Janssen is actually pretty good as the witch Muriel. This is obviously not an awards-worthy performance but she has fun with the role and is by far the liveliest character in the film. Rounding out the supporting cast is Peter Stormare as a sheriff (how ironic) who's also on a witch-hunt of his own, Thomas Mann as a star-struck fan of Hansel and Gretel, and Pihla Viitala as Hansel's love interest. The latter two isn't given much to do and sadly fade into the background. 

"Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters" was released on January 25, 2012 to overwhelmingly negative reviews with 15% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics panned the film, writing it off as a failure 'as both a fantasy adventure and as a parody of the same.' Advance screenings were held just four hours before its official release, which is almost always a bad sign. Reactions from the audience were lukewarm at best but it's poised to top the box office with a modest $15 to $17 million, although it'll barely make back its $50 million production budget once foreign grosses are counted. "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters" could've been a cheesy thrill ride but the film's flat narrative and characters, combined with Wirkola's uninspired direction, make this one a lost opportunity.

Final Rating: 2 out of 5

"I hate to break this to you, but this isn't gonna be an open casket." 

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Parker Review

Rated R (Strong Violence, Language Throughout and Brief Sexual Content/Nudity)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 58 Minutes

Cast-

Jason Statham-Parker

Jennifer Lopez-Leslie Rodgers

Nick Nolte-Hurley

Michael Chiklis-Melander

Wendell Pierce-Carlson

Clifton Collins Jr.-Ross

Micah A. Hauptman-August Hardwicke

Emma Booth-Claire

Bobby Cannavale-Officer Jake Fernandez

Patti LuPone-Ascension

Carlos Carrasco-Norte

Daniel Bernhardt-Kroll

Kip Gilman-Danzinger

Directed by Taylor Hackford

Jason Statham may look good in a suit but his movies are still mediocre.

Note: Screened on Wednesday, January 23, 2013, at the Museum of Modern Art.

Some films are just so dull and generic that their reviews can practically write themselves. Case in point: "Parker," another in a long line of Jason Statham-action thrillers based on the 2000 novel Flashfire from acclaimed American author Donald E. Westlake, published under the pseudonym Richard Stark (no relation to Tony Stark). Having written over a hundred novels before passing away in 2008 due to a sudden heart attack, Westlake is best-known for creating ruthless career criminal/anti-hero Parker and while the character has been the subject of numerous film adaptations (among them being 1967's "Point Blank" and 1999's "Payback" starring Mel Gibson), this is the first time where his on-screen incarnation shares the same name as his counterpart in the novels. Given the character's cold professionalism and efficiency, the role of Parker is well-suited to Statham's limited range as an actor. Since his big screen debut in director Guy Ritchie's "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" in 1998, Statham has carved himself a nice niche in Hollywood with a string of B-movie action flicks. He's not exactly a huge box office draw, averaging only $30 million per film but at least he's consistent and has enough charisma to make up for his lacking range. Unfortunately, Statham has already worn out his welcome by playing the same character over and over again for the past fifteen years and he exhibits no sign of ever stepping outside his comfort zone. Despite having Taylor Hackford at the helm, "Parker" is ultimately a dull and by-the-numbers crime caper that's twenty minutes too long and only manages to distinguish itself with one good action scene while the rest of the film plods along. 

Leading a four-man team consisting of Melander (Michael Chiklis), Carlson (Wendell Pierce), Ross (Clifton Collins Jr.), and the sniveling August Hardwicke (Micah A. Hauptman), a disguised Parker (Jason Statham) pulls off a successful heist at the Ohio State Fair, stealing a cool $1 million but when Melander demands everyone to put their share toward a high-profile jewel heist with an even bigger payoff, Parker refuses. The other men immediately turn on him, forcing Parker to make a quick exit by jumping out of a moving van. After being fatally wounded, he is left for dead in a ditch until a kindly farmer comes upon his body and drives him to the nearest hospital to recuperate. With the help of his girlfriend's (Emma Booth) father and mentor Hurley (Nick Nolte), a revenge-seeking Parker tracks Melander and his men to West Palm Beach, Florida. To locate their hideout, he enlists the aid of struggling real estate agent Leslie Rodgers (Jennifer Lopez) while posing as a wealthy Texan looking to buy a new home. However, Rodgers sees through Parker's disguise and wanting to leave her boring life behind, demands the thief to let her in on his plans. Meanwhile, Hardwicke learns from his brother that Parker is still alive and sends a knife-wielding assassin (Daniel Bernhardt) after him using his connections with the Chicago mob. 

The first fifteen minutes of "Parker" show a lot of promise, with Hackford staging an elaborate and tautly-paced heist set during the Ohio State Fair. Unfortunately, once Melander and his men betray Parker, the film loses its momentum and simply meanders along for the next two hours. The script from John J. McLaughlin is as generic as they come—a predictable tale of revenge that Statham has done so many times that to call it cliché is already a cliché in and of itself. A number of superfluous subplots are included to stretch out the running time, with characters like Hurley and his daughter Claire doing little to advance the story yet the worst offender is Jennifer Lopez's Leslie Rodgers. Not only is her inclusion totally unnecessary but her character feels like it was ripped out of a Lifetime soap opera as she cries about how dull and meaningless her life is. It makes little sense as to why Parker would even care about her problems, let alone allow her to become his accomplice considering how clumsy she is. Straining credulity even further is Statham's laughable attempt at a Texan accent and the fact that Leslie manages to access Parker's entire bank account and credit history with just a click of a button on her computer, which calls into question his competency as a thief. Hackford also devotes way too much screen-time on Parker's search for Melander's hideout, to the point where the film feels like a protracted travel commercial for West Palm Beach. What could've been a beautiful-looking film is instead marred by cheap production values, giving it the appearance of a low-budget television movie. "Parker" is not as action-packed compared to Statham's previous efforts but the few action scenes included are well-done, with a particularly nasty brawl between Parker and the knife-wielding assassin sent by the Chicago mob that takes place in a high-rise hotel room. That scene, along with the film's opening, is the only time when "Parker" can be called 'entertaining.' The rest is just a dull, clunky, and uninspired mess. 

I've always admired Jason Statham for doing his own stunts and "Parker" shines in those few moments where he's pummeling someone in the face. As for his performance, this is a role that Statham has done countless times already and you can feel that he's on autopilot here, exhibiting none of the charisma that made even his worst films watchable. Faring even worse is Jennifer Lopez. Why is she even in the film? The initial marketing establishes her as Parker's love interest but that's not true and whatever love triangle that Hackford was going for is wasted since Emma Booth has so little screen-time. Statham and Lopez have absolutely zero chemistry and there's even an eye-rolling scene where Lopez drops her clothes in a blatant attempt to show off her derrière. Michael Chiklis is given little to do as the main villain besides shouting at his henchman to find Parker. The rest of the supporting cast has pointless roles, with Nick Nolte barely decipherable as Parker's former mentor and Bobby Cannavale as a police officer who appears to be stalking Leslie but goes missing during the finale. 

Released on January 25, 2013, "Parker" has received negative reviews with 35% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics called it 'a thoroughly generic and convoluted heist movie.' During the advance screening (which was also the film's premiere) on Wednesday, the audience applauded and cheered, oblivious to all its flaws. I have to wonder if some of them were paying lip service to Hackford. Given the lack of a strong marketing push and Statham's recent string of bombs, the film will quickly fade away at the box office. Taylor Hackford was responsible for 2004's brilliant "Ray;" he can obviously do better than this. Statham fans will eat up "Parker" like its caviar but it doesn't change the fact that it's just another lazy January release that audiences should avoid.

Final Rating: 2 out of 5

"I don't steal from people who can't afford it, and I don't hurt people that don't deserve it." 

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Broken City Review

Rated R (Pervasive Language, Some Sexual Content and Violence)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 49 Minutes

Cast-

Mark Wahlberg-Billy Taggart

Russell Crowe-Mayor Nicholas Hostetler

Catherine Zeta-Jones-Cathleen Hostetler

Barry Pepper-Jack Valliant

Kyle Chandler-Paul Andrews

Jeffrey Wright-NYPD Commissioner Carl Fairbanks

Natalie Martinez-Natalie Barrow

Alona Tal-Katy Bradshaw

James Ransone-Todd Lancaster

Griffin Dunne-Sam Lancaster

Michael Beach-Tony Jansen

Directed by Allen Hughes

Mark Wahlberg can see your house from here!

Note: Screened on Tuesday, January 15, 2013, at AMC Empire 25.

Politics…it's a dirty business. As children, I'm sure we all daydreamed of becoming President of the United States but to be honest, not many people are cut out for such a job. Take me, for instance. Not only am I a terrible speaker, I'm simply not shrewd or cunning enough to handle all the backroom deal-making that defines American politics. That last point is especially important because it's so easy for politicians to take the money and screw the people. Just look at all the political scandals that have taken place in the last ten years. Corruption, that's the name of the game in "Broken City," a gritty crime thriller with Sidney Lumet-aspirations from Allen Hughes, making his first solo directing effort since his debut alongside his twin brother Albert with 1993's "Menace II Society." Looking at the film's cast, you not only have an Academy Award nominee but two Academy Award winners yet the release date raises a serious red flag. In his own review, James Berardinelli speaks of an old multiplex proverb that warns audiences to 'beware ye movies opening in January that star A-list actors.' This proves to be true as "Broken City" is ultimately a sloppily written mess and an utterly forgettable, generic affair despite boasting an impressive all-star cast. 

An illicit shooting of an alleged rapist leads to NYPD detective Billy Taggart (Mark Wahlberg) being charged with murder but thanks to the timely intervention of Mayor Nicholas Hostetler (Russell Crowe), Taggart manages to avoid jail time. However, his lack of discretion results in him being thrown off the force by Police Chief Carl Fairbanks (Jeffrey Wright). Seven years later, Taggart is barely scraping by as a lowly private investigator, hiding in alleyways in order to catch adulterous men with their pants down. With Election Day fast approaching, Mayor Hostetler hires Taggart for $50,000 to follow his wife Cathleen (Catherine Zeta-Jones), whom he suspects of having an affair behind his back. Aided by his plucky assistant Katy Bradshaw (Alona Tal), Taggart's sleuthing leads him to a house in Montauk, Long Island, where he photographs Cathleen having a private rendezvous with Paul Andrews (Kyle Chandler), who just happens to be the campaign manager for Jack Valliant (Barry Pepper), Hostetler's liberal-minded rival in the mayoral election. Taggart gives the photos to Hostetler but when Andrews turns up dead a few days later, he finds himself in the middle of a conspiracy involving a shady $4-billion land development deal. 

"Broken City" is one of those films where the trailer already spells out the entire story. There is literally nothing original here but that wouldn't be such a problem if the script or characters were at least compelling. It's certainly ambitious, with the first forty minutes moving all the pieces into place like a chess game and promising a dramatic reveal at the end. Sadly, that is not the case as the scatter-brained narrative introduces a bevy of subplots that ultimately goes nowhere. Hughes spends a significant amount of time focusing on Taggart's relationship with his girlfriend Natalie Barrow (Natalie Martinez) but it's immediately forgotten the instant Paul Andrews turns up dead. Character revelations are dropped onto the audience (Jack Valliant may or may not be a closeted homosexual) with little or no context but the worst offense is that everything is so obviously telegraphed in advance. The 'incriminating evidence' that Hostetler has on Taggart and the land development deal used to solve New York's debt problems all figure into the film's ending yet it offers no payoff or even makes a lick of sense. Hughes and his writer Brian Tucker want to show the moral decay that grips urban America and how the governing system is just as 'broken' as the people inhabiting it but not only does it lack subtlety, it's never fully realized within the undercooked and nonsensical story. 

One scene did stand out however and it's the one where Hostetler and Valliant are engaging in a televised debate. It's the only point where the film becomes halfway decent because it illustrates the ugly mud-slinging that now dominates American politics. As the protagonist, Billy Taggart doesn't come across as very sympathetic. His girlfriend is about to star in her first indie film but instead of supporting her, Taggart complains about 'metrosexuals' and flies into rage upon seeing her in a graphic sex scene during the film's premiere. Is Hughes trying to say something about the way independent films are made? Like everything else in "Broken City," who knows? The homophobia in the film represents a disturbing trend, especially when "A Haunted House" faced similar complaints. A car chase and a fight scene are included to try and break up the monotony but you're unable to appreciate them because you're stuck connecting all the dots in this plot-hole ridden mess. It's almost as if someone was drunk while editing the film. 

Mark Wahlberg plays another tough guy, only with a more thuggish side. It's really puzzling how Taggart managed to even become a police officer, let alone a detective since all he's capable of doing is barging into people's homes and pummeling them until they talk. A very orange Russell Crowe hams it up as Mayor Nicholas Hostetler, complete with a distractingly fake 'Noo Yawk' accent and a horrible-looking toupee. Right from the first scene, it's immediately clear that this guy is a sleazeball yet it completely goes over Taggart's head. The rest of the supporting cast adds absolutely nothing to the story. Catherine Zeta-Jones sleepwalks through her role as the mayor's wife while Jeffrey Wright's character just reinforces the fact that the film is a mess as he flip-flops between hating Taggart to helping him. It's no mystery that Fairbanks knows more than he lets on yet instead of just outright telling Taggart the whole situation, he strings him, and by extension the audience, along. Only Alona Tal escapes unscathed as her character's feisty personality is the sole bright spot in the film. 

"Broken City" was released on January 18, 2013 to overwhelmingly negative reviews with 24% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics found that the 'thinly sketched, formulaic script offers meager rewards for all but the least demanding noir aficionados.' The audience may have applauded during last Tuesday's advance screening but thankfully, people were smart enough to avoid this film as it's poised to only earn $11 million over the Martin Luther King, Jr. weekend. "Broken City" offers up hints of a better film underneath but its lazy writing, predictable plot, and cardboard characters turn this promising effort into a mess. A more appropriate title would be "Broken Movie."

Final Rating: 2 out of 5

"There are some wars you fight and some you walk away from. This isn't the fighting kind." 

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Mama Review

Rated PG-13 (Violence and Terror, Some Disturbing Images and Thematic Elements)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 40 Minutes

Cast-

Jessica Chastain-Annabel

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau-Lucas/Jeffrey

Megan Charpentier-Victoria

Isabelle Nélisse-Lilly

Daniel Kash-Dr. Gerald Dreyfuss

Jane Moffat-Jean Podolski/Mama (voice)

Javier Botet-Mama

Hannah Cheesman-Mama (flashback)

Morgan McGarry-Young Victoria

Maya Dawe/Sierra Dawe-Young Lilly

Directed by Andrés Muschietti

It's the battle of the Mamas in "Mama," the directorial debut of Andrés Muschietti with Guillermo del Toro producing.

Note: Screened on Thursday, January 17, 2013, at AMC Empire 25.

During the panel for Legendary Comics (the comic book division of Legendary Pictures, Inc.) at last year's New York Comic Con, fan-favorite director Guillermo del Toro offered a glimpse of one of his sketchbooks for his upcoming sci-fi summer action film "Pacific Rim," and inside were pages jam-packed with drawings and hand-written notes of his own ideas. This is one of the reasons why del Toro is one of my favorite directors as his sense of imagination and creativity knows no bounds. Always on the lookout for new talent, del Toro has served as an executive producer on numerous projects, lending not only his name but also his talents and resources to many freshman directors. To him, being a producer is a way to 'give back' and help those who just need that extra push, which is something I really admire on his part. The latest film to bear del Toro's name is "Mama," based on the 2008 Spanish-language short film of the same name from Andrés Muschietti. Despite some poor pacing and a reliance on familiar horror conventions, "Mama" remains a strong directorial debut for Muschietti as he skillfully blends old-school scares with macabre visuals yet what makes the film stand out from similar works in its genre is the story, a dark fable that functions as a tragic ode to a mother's enduring love, twisted as it may be. 

A sudden financial meltdown drives a businessman named Jeffrey (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) to murder several of his co-workers and his estranged wife. In his mad grief, he abducts his two daughters, Victoria and her little sister Lilly, and flees with them in his car. When Victoria complains to her father that he is driving too fast, Jeffrey yells at her but he then loses control, swerving off the icy road and crashing into a remote area in the woods. They survive and eventually come upon an abandoned cabin. As Jeffrey tearfully prepares to commit a murder/suicide, a strange figure suddenly appears and drags him away screaming. Staring at the figure, Victoria can only see a blur. For the next five years later, Jeffrey's twin brother Lucas (also Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) searches in vain for the girls by putting up his own money. The searchers he hires accidentally stumble upon the crash site and the cabin one afternoon. Victoria (Megan Charpentier) and Lilly (Isabelle Nélisse) are found inside, malnourished and in a feral state, but thankfully alive. They are put under the care of psychiatrist Dr. Gerald Dreyfuss (Daniel Kash) while Lucas and a wealthy aunt (Jane Moffat) from their mother's side fight in court over who gets custody. Wanting to monitor the girls' progress, Dr. Dreyfuss agrees to recommend Lucas as their guardian as long as he agrees to move into a special home used to perform case studies. This arrangement does not sit well with Lucas' girlfriend Annabel (Jessica Chastain) but she goes along with it despite her less-than motherly demeanor. When Lucas is hospitalized after taking a nasty fall down the stairs, Annabel is thrust with the sudden responsibility of taking care of Victoria and Lilly yet it soon becomes clear that a mysterious presence has been watching over the girls and still does, a presence referred to in secretive whispers as 'Mama.' 

While it's easy to dismiss "Mama" as another in a long line of forgettable PG-13 horror films, that would be doing it a disservice as what Muschietti and his writers (which includes his sister Barbara and Neil Cross) have created here is really a dark and twisted fairy tale, a forebodingly whimsy fable about a supernatural presence that is more tragic rather than being wholly evil. It's immediately clear why del Toro wanted to turn Muschietti's short into a feature-length film as motherhood is often a prominent theme in the films he directs and produces. Opening with the classic line 'Once upon a time…,' the prologue establishes a very somber tone as Nikolaj Coster-Waldau's Jeffrey prepares to murder his daughters before committing suicide. However, something snatches him away and as night creeps into the cabin, the girls sit by the fire with this…creature hovering over them. The opening credits fill the audience in during the intervening five years (represented by children's drawings) and then we're introduced to Lucas and his unconventional girlfriend Annabel, a Goth chick in a go-nowhere rock band. Similar to 2011's "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark," "Mama" explores the idea of being a mother but the main difference is that Annabel has no interest in becoming one. In fact, when the pregnancy test comes back negative, she's ecstatic. In one of the more contrived plot devices, Lucas is put into a coma after a deadly encounter with 'Mama,' leaving Annabel as the girls sole guardian. This forms one half of the film's emotional core as the presence of 'Mama' kicks Annabel's maternal instincts into overdrive. The other half concerns the tragic backstory of 'Mama' herself and this is where del Toro's influence is felt the strongest as he's always held a certain affinity toward monsters. His creatures are always wounded in some way and that's what makes them so much more interesting compared to whatever cookie-cutter ghost that Hollywood always comes up with. The question of whether 'Mama' exists is answered early on, so it is her motives and origins that serve as the central mystery. The story soon turns into a battle of two mothers, leading to a rather sad and even bittersweet ending. 

Despite his novice status, Muschietti already displays considerable talent behind the camera, creating a spooky atmosphere by relying on a 'less-is-more' approach. There's a very memorable scene where he juxtaposes his camera with one half showing the hallway and the other the girl's room. As Annabel does her laundry, we see Lilly playfully tugging a sheet with whom we assume is Victoria. When Victoria walks into view from the hallway, it becomes clear that the person in the girl's room is 'Mama.' Muschietti is aided by Antonio Riestra's rich cinematography, full of amber hues that lend the film a homely feel. However, "Mama" does have some serious stumbles and in adapting a three-minute short, the writers have overwritten the story. Some of the subplots aren't sufficiently developed while others are either completely forgotten or abruptly tied-off. The pacing also begins to drag in the latter half as we're treated to repetitive scenes of Annabel being startled in what amounts to a cheap 'jump scare' and the moth symbolism comes across as clichéd. Even the CG used to enhance 'Mama' isn't as seamless one would hope. It may lean on familiar, even tired horror tropes but "Mama" still deserves praise for pushing a deeper emotional connection with its audience when similar films rely on either blood and gore or one lame scare after another. 

This is very unusual role for Jessica Chastain, spending the bulk of the film in heavy eyeliner and tight jeans but I can see why she chose it. Sure, this won't rank as one of Chastain's best performances but her transformation from ambivalent caretaker to fierce protector is handled convincingly due in part to the film's equal emphasis on its characters and the scares. The Kingslayer himself, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, is fine, although he's absent from the film far too long before abruptly popping up in the end. The most memorable performances come from the children. Megan Charpentier's Victoria is conflicted between Annabel and 'Mama' while Isabelle Nélisse's Lilly can come off as even more creepy and forms another tragic element to the story as she's unable to integrate back into society. 'Normal' to her is being with 'Mama.' It's all she's ever known. 

Released on January 18, 2013, "Mama" has received mildly positive reviews with 63% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics noted that those were 'into old-school scares over cheap gore… [will be] able to get over [the film's] confusing script and contrived plot devices.' Unfortunately, the advance screening this past Thursday was almost ruined by immature teenagers and even adults. Honestly, movies should be watched by those who can appreciate them. That'll cut out much of the unruly audience who believe it is their right to shout at the screen. As for the box office, I was originally pegging for Arnold Schwarzenegger's "The Last Stand" to come out on top but it appears that "Mama" will be smothering her love to the tune of $30.5 million, which is already double its production budget. Andrés Muschietti has a few missteps in his first outing as a director but "Mama" is a surprisingly effective horror film, a shining beacon of light in a sea of mediocre January releases. I look forward to seeing what he brings to the table the next time he goes behind the camera.

Final Rating: 3.5 out of 5

"A ghost is an emotion bent out of shape condemned to repeat itself time and time again."  

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The Last Stand Review

Rated R (Strong Bloody Violence Throughout, and Language)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 47 Minutes

Cast-

Arnold Schwarzenegger-Sheriff Ray Owens

Jaimie Alexander-Deputy Sarah Torrance

Luis Guzmán-Deputy Mike Figuerola

Rodrigo Santoro-Deputy Frank Martinez

Zach Gilford-Deputy Jerry Bailey

Johnny Knoxville-Lewis Dinkum

Eduardo Noriega-Gabriel Cortez

Peter Stormare-Burrell

Forest Whitaker-FBI Agent John Bannister

Genesis Rodriguez-FBI Agent Ellen Richards

Daniel Henney-FBI Agent Phil Hayes

Christiana Leucas-Christie

Directed by Kim Jee-Woon

Arnold Schwarzenegger is the sheriff in "The Last Stand" as the actor returns to the big screen after a ten-year absence.

Note: Screened on Wednesday, January 16, 2013, at Clearview Chelsea.

Arnold Schwarzenegger said he would be back and despite a ten-year absence, he's kept his promise, returning to the big screen with his latest film, "The Last Stand." Born in the small village of Thal, Austria in 1947, Schwarzenegger came to the United States in 1968 at the age of 21, speaking little English yet through hard work and perseverance, he managed to not only became one of Hollywood's biggest action stars but also stand as a shining example of the American Dream. I have been a die-hard (no pun intended) fan of Arnold for as long as I can remember and the thought of seeing him on movie screens again left me positively ecstatic. Aside from a few cameos, "The Last Stand" is Schwarzenegger's first major role since 2003's "Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines," released shortly before he announced his candidacy in the recall election for Governor of California, and also marks the American debut of South Korean director Kim Jee-Woon. Woon is well-known among his fans for tackling a wide range of genres, from psychological horror to thrillers but the January release date did not inspire much confidence considering the month's notorious reputation for being a dumping ground for Hollywood's stinkers. By all accounts, "The Last Stand" is an unremarkable action film yet it's so unapologetically entertaining, offering up plenty of exciting set-pieces but the real joy comes from seeing Arnold Schwarzenegger doing what he does best—killing bad guys with big guns while spouting memorable one-liners. 

A former officer of the LAPD's narcotics division, Ray Owens (Arnold Schwarzenegger) resigned after a grisly drug bust left him the sole survivor. Retiring to the sleepy border town of Sommerton Junction, Arizona, Ray now spends his days keeping the peace as the town sheriff, content with leading a quieter life. Meanwhile, notorious Mexican drug kingpin Gabriel Cortez (Eduardo Noriega) narrowly escapes from the FBI during a prison transfer in Las Vegas. As John Bannister (Forest Whitaker) and his fellow agents furiously work to recapture him, Cortez rushes toward the U.S.-Mexican border in a heavily-modified Chevrolet Corvette C6 ZR1 with a hostage (Genesis Rodriguez) in tow. It turns out that he's headed straight for Sommerton Junction, where Cortez's associate Burrell (Peter Stormare) awaits him. Ray is initially reluctant to get involved but when one of his fellow officers (Zach Gilford) is killed in a vicious shootout with Burrell's men, he decides to avenge him by locking down the town and enlisting his deputies, Sarah Torrance (Jaimie Alexander), Mike Figuerola (Luis Guzmán), and Frank Martinez (Rodrigo Santoro), in stopping Cortez with the help of local gun nut Lewis Dinkum (Johnny Knoxville). 

Campy and formulaic, "The Last Stand" succeeds thanks to its B-grade action movie charms and is honestly a refreshing change of pace given all the serious Oscar-fare that was recently released. The script from Andrew Knauer is largely inconsequential in regards to the development of its characters. No, this is a film about blowing stuff up but Woon makes the audience wait for the explosions, taking its time establishing just how dangerous Cortez is as he commands his henchmen to ram a police blockade and later pulls off a series of dangerous stunts behind the wheel in order to shake off his pursuers. While FBI Agent John Bannister screams and yells at his men to do their job, Sheriff Ray Owens is investigating Burrell, suspicious that he's up to no good. It leads to some uneven pacing as the film jumps between these three men yet Woon manages to keep the momentum going. The first major action scene occurs when two of Owens' deputies come upon Burrell and his men out in the desert. A shootout takes place and just when the situation seems hopeless, Arnold swoops in to save the day. It's certainly a crowd-pleasing moment and not long after, the film completely lets loose with one exciting set-piece after another. Ray guns down Burrell's men with a World War II-era chain gun and the action just escalates from there until it culminates in a final confrontation between the world-weary sheriff and Cortez. The two go at it with nothing but their fists in a thrilling brawl that's worth the price of admission alone. It's also a funny film to boot as Woon engages in a few sight gags yet what makes "The Last Stand" so damn entertaining is that it whole-heartedly embraces its action movie clichés with its head held high. That's something to be admired considering that most films of its ilk try too hard to be serious and forget how to have fun. 

Of course, the film wouldn't have worked if Arnold Schwarzenegger wasn't playing the lead role. The larger-than-life actor is aware that he's not in his prime anymore, allowing the screenplay to poke fun at his age as Ray Owens puts on a pair of glasses while inspecting a crime scene or wearily remarking that he is 'old' as he slowly gets up after being thrown through a window. Schwarzenegger was never known for giving Oscar-caliber performances but makes up for it through sheer charisma and his imposing screen presence, none of which have diminished despite a ten-year absence in politics. It's hard not to applaud when he blows out a thug's brains with a pistol before proclaiming, 'I'm the sheriff!' Schwarzenegger is aided by a solid supporting cast, with Luis Guzmán and Johnny Knoxville providing comic relief while the more dramatic heavy lifting is left to Jaimie Alexander, Rodrigo Santoro, and an earnest Zach Gilford. Forest Whitaker is largely wasted as the frustrated FBI agent chasing Cortez, with Peter Stormare hamming it up as the drug lord's accomplice. As the central villain, Eduardo Noriega is stuck behind the wheel of car with Genesis Rodriguez (not exactly a terrible prospect) for much of the film's running time. He gets his moment to shine…by being pummeled and body-slammed by a man twice his age! 

Released on January 18, 2013, "The Last Stand" has received mixed reviews with 55% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics noted that 'there's nothing particularly distinguished about it, but for Schwarzenegger fans [the film] provides perfectly undemanding entertainment.' Audience reaction during the advance screening this past Wednesday was enthusiastic yet this hasn't translated into even a modest box office success as it's estimated to earn only $11.4 million over the Martin Luther King, Jr. weekend. Part of the problem has been Lionsgate's weak marketing campaign but the bigger issue is that today's teenage audience didn't grow up watching Schwarzenegger films so they have little to no idea of who he is. With ten or more projects in various stages of development, it seems like box office is the least of Schwarzenegger's concerns. "The Last Stand" could've been another mediocre January release yet it manages to be a fun throwback to the action films of yesteryear thanks to Kim Jee-Woon's confident direction and Arnold Schwarzenegger's larger-than-life presence. Schwarzenegger is back and in the words of HitFix's Drew McWeeny, 'that is good news indeed.'

Final Rating: 4 out of 5

"I've seen enough blood and death. I know what's coming."

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Gangster Squad Review

Rated R (Strong Violence and Language)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 53 Minutes

Cast-

Josh Brolin-Sergeant John O'Mara

Ryan Gosling-Sergeant Jerry Wooters

Robert Patrick-Detective Max Kennard

Anthony Mackie-Detective Coleman Harris

Michael Peña-Detective Navidad Ramirez

Giovanni Ribisi-Detective Conway Keeler

Emma Stone-Grace Faraday

Sean Penn-Mickey Cohen

Nick Nolte-LAPD Chief William 'Bill' Parker

James Carpinello-Johnny Stompanato

Jon Polito-Jack Dragna

Wade Williams-Rourke

Directed by Ruben Fleischer

All the gangsters say cheese!

Note: Screened on Wednesday, January 9, 2013, at AMC Loews Lincoln Square 13.

Originally set to be released last September, Ruben Fleischer's "Gangster Squad" was delayed by Warner Brothers for an additional three months in the wake of the mass shooting in Aurora, Colorado in order to reshoot a key scene that 'might' have been too controversial for sensitive viewers. Now why did I put 'might' in quotes? What happened last summer was terrible but the reactions that followed were nothing short of ridiculous as once again Hollywood came under intense scrutiny for 'encouraging' violent behavior through their films even though it's been proven time and again that there's no link between the two. As America mourned the victims of the shooting, Warner Brothers went into full damage control mode, cancelling the remaining premieres for "The Dark Knight Rises" and pulling the trailers for "Gangster Squad" as one of the film's action set-pieces took place in a theater where a group of mobsters burst in and began firing on the audience. The studio ultimately decided to cut and reshoot the 'offending' scene, a move that I (and many others) was vehemently opposed to because it was a form of self-censorship in which Warner Brothers threw in the towel to avoid upsetting 'some' viewers. Here's a solution for those people: don't watch the film. "Gangster Squad" finally arrives into theaters in the dead month of January, by far the worst time to open a new movie but Fleischer's film appears to buck that trend given the impressive cast he's gathered. While "Gangster Squad" features some impeccable production design, the film is unfortunately all style and no substance, marred by the lack of a compelling script and one-dimensional characters. 

The year: 1949. The city: Los Angeles. Gangster Mickey Cohen (Sean Penn) has become one of the most powerful figures in the criminal underworld. Despite being involved in the drug and sex trades, witnesses are too afraid to testify against him as over half the police force and the politicians are in his pocket. Yet Cohen isn't satisfied. He wants more and vows that nothing will stand in his way of 'progress.' With the City of Angels turned into a warzone and innocent civilians being caught in the crossfire, LAPD Chief William 'Bill' Parker (Nick Nolte) enlists the aid of honest cop Sergeant John O'Mara (Josh Brolin) for a secret assignment: recruit a squad of police officers and do whatever it takes to bring Cohen down. With the help of his wife Connie (Mireille Enos), O'Mara recruits fellow war veteran and womanizer Jerry Wooters (Ryan Gosling), street-smart cop Coleman Harris (Anthony Mackie), sharpshooter Max Kennard (Robert Patrick) and his partner Navidad Ramirez (Michael Peña), and skilled wire-tapper Conway Keeler (Giovanni Ribisi) as his team, known as the 'Gangster Squad.' They begin by hitting Cohen's illegal operations, one-by-one, but the mission is complicated when Wooters falls in love with Cohen's top gal, Grace Faraday (Emma Stone). 

Loosely based on Paul Lieberman's 2012 true crime novel of the same name, "Gangster Squad" purports to be a 'true story' but this label is nothing more than a misnomer. Yes, there was a gangster named Mickey Cohen (although he bore no resemblance to Sean Penn) but he was not brought to justice in a fist fight. Instead, it was tax evasion that finally landed him in prison. Director Ruben Fleischer made his feature film debut with 2009's critically-acclaimed "Zombieland" but since then, he's been unable to make lightning strike twice as his follow-up, 2011's "30 Minutes or Less," received mixed reviews. This downward trend continues with "Gangster Squad," a film that exudes the pulpy, film noir style of the late-1940's thanks to Maher Ahmad's sumptuous production design yet behind its glossy veneer is a generic shoot-'em-up filled with one-dimensional characters. Josh Brolin and Ryan Gosling receive perfunctory subplots but they're either too clichéd or too underdeveloped to make an impression. Everyone else is largely identified by one-note personalities and their skill-set. The story is simply an excuse to string together a few loud action scenes and what's disappointing is that the moral grey area inhabited by O'Mara's team goes unaddressed except for one throwaway scene. Ribisi's Conway Keeler wonders out loud if they're any different from the mobsters they go after due to their increasingly violent methods but O'Mara shoots him down, saying that 'it's the only way.' It doesn't help that O'Mara frequently charges in with guns blazing without thinking of the collateral damage or performing any actual detective work (besides wire-tapping). The action set-pieces offer up some mild thrills with its excessive violence and Tommy Guns but Fleischer relies on some indulgent visuals a little too much. Bullets flying in slow motion end up being more distracting rather than adding to the scene. That's ultimately "Gangster Squad" in a nutshell, a bloody cops-and-robbers film that has its moments but fails to give audiences anything of real substance. 

The cast is certainly high-profile given its January release yet it's clear that everyone involved knew that this film was going to be a lark and adjust their performances accordingly. Josh Brolin gets to pummel a few guys but is otherwise stuck with a permanent grimace on his face. Ryan Gosling turns on the charm and is the closest thing to being a three-dimensional character, as Wooters initially turns down O'Mara's offer, having resigned himself to the fact that Los Angeles will forever remain a cesspool of crime. He only accepts when a friend of his is caught in the crossfire during a gangland shooting. Emma Stone is little more than the damsel-in-distress but exudes such a Golden Age, femme fatale sex appeal. Finally, there's Sean Penn, who goes way over-the-top with his scenery-chewing performance as Mickey Cohen, complete with a prosthetic nose and sprouting lines like 'My whole crop of cunts got ruined.' Penn is fun to watch and even gets a "Scarface" moment but like everything else about this film, it's hard to take seriously. Rounding out the cast is Nick Nolte, who's barely decipherable with his overly gruff voice, Robert Patrick as a gun-slinging detective, Giovanni Ribisi as the team's tech expert, with Anthony Mackie and Michael Peña providing backup, although the two have barely any dialogue. 

Released on January 11, 2013, "Gangster Squad" has received negative reviews with 32% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics noted that it was 'stylish and features a talented cast [but the film] suffers from lackluster writing, underdeveloped characters, and an excessive amount of violence.' Warner Brothers has put together a solid marketing campaign so it's guaranteed to have a decent opening weekend in the $20 to $25 million range. Audience reaction at the screening on Wednesday was positive, although it feels like people would applaud anything nowadays. If you're looking for cheap thrills, "Gangster Squad" will satisfy but anyone expecting another "L.A. Confidential" or "The Untouchables" will come away disappointed with Fleischer's latest film.

Final Rating: 2.5 out of 5

"I'm not an educated man, but I've read some history. Every kingdom comes of blood, every castle's built on a pile of bones. When I came out here, L.A. was nothin'. Back east I was a gangster...out here, I'm God." 

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The Impossible Review

Rated PG-13 (Intense Realistic Disaster Sequences, including Disturbing Injury Images and Brief Nudity)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 54 Minutes

Cast-

Naomi Watts-Maria Bennett

Ewan McGregor-Henry Bennett

Tom Holland-Lucas Bennett

Samuel Joslin-Thomas Bennett

Oaklee Pendergast-Simon Bennett

Marta Etura-Simone

Sönke Möhring-Karl

Simon Blyberg-Ferdinand

Christopher Alan Byrd-Dieter

John Albasiny-Oliver Tudpole

Johan Sundberg-Daniel

Jan Roland Sundberg-Daniel's Father

Douglas Johansson-Mr. Benstrom

Emilio Riccardi-Morten Benstrom

Geraldine Chaplin-Old Woman

Ploy Jindachote-Caregiver

Directed by Juan Antonio Bayona

Naomi Watts delivers a powerful performance in "The Impossible," a dramatization of one's family battle for survival during the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami.

Despite all the tragedies our world faces every day, no other force on Earth can compare to the catastrophic and indiscriminate wrath of Mother Nature. On the morning of December 26, 2004, a massive tsunami (the result of an undersea megathrust earthquake with a magnitude of 8.8) struck the coasts of Southeast Asia, leaving behind untold amounts of property and infrastructure damage in its wake as well as over 280,000 casualties, with a further 1.7 million displaced. Given Hollywood's penchant for wanton destruction with films like "The Day After Tomorrow" and "2012," it's easy to become desensitized since we know in the back of our minds that what we're seeing on-screen isn't real but director Juan Antonio Bayona's "The Impossible" shatters that fantasy in this dramatization of one family's battle for survival in the aftermath of the Indian Ocean tsunami. This is actually Bayona's second film; his first was the 2007 Spanish horror flick "The Orphanage," which was co-produced by Guillermo del Toro and received a ten-minute ovation from the audience when it premiered at the 60th Cannes Film Festival. Emotionally harrowing and powerfully acted, "The Impossible" is directed with a raw, visceral intensity by Bayona and serves as a terrifyingly harsh reminder of the fragility of our human lives. 

A British expatriate couple living in Japan, Maria (Naomi Watts) and Henry Bennett (Ewan McGregor) are taking their kids, Lucas (Tom Holland), Thomas (Samuel Joslin), and Simon (Oaklee Pendergast), on a much needed Christmas vacation in Thailand. Landing in Khao Lak on Christmas Eve, the family stays at a newly renovated resort overlooking the beach but the Bennett's idyllic holiday is shattered on the morning of December 26, 2004 when a devastating tsunami strikes the coast. With the resort decimated by the initial tidal wave, Maria fights for her life as she is thrashed around by the surging waters and debris. She manages to reach Lucas and the two catch their breath while holding onto an uprooted palm tree. Severely injured, Maria comes to rely on Lucas for support as they look for help in the wake of the disaster. A group of locals drive them to a hospital, where Maria lies on the brink of death. Meanwhile, Henry has managed to survive, shielding Thomas and Simon when the water hit. Sending his two sons to a safety zone up in the mountains, Henry searches for his wife and eldest child, desperately clinging onto what little hope he has left despite being faced with such destruction. 

Loosely based on the true story of María Belón, who survived the tsunami along with her husband and children, "The Impossible" may be marketed as a disaster/drama film but it also contains elements of horror, which isn't surprising considering Bayona's background. However, it's not a chainsaw-wielding manic threatening the lives of this family, it's Mother Nature. The director builds an omnipresent sense of dread, opening with a black screen where the only sound that can be heard is a dull roar that increases in intensity before cutting to a shot of a calm blue ocean as a plane screeches into view. The story (written by Sergio G. Sánchez, who worked with Bayona on the "The Orphanage") quickly establishes the family in broad strokes and just fifteen minutes in the tsunami hits, as sudden as it did in real life even though we're already aware that it's coming. It's an amazing scene, a seamless blend of practical and digital effects but what makes it stand out is the way Bayona presents it. Usually, Hollywood markets these sequences as the 'money shot' but that's not what the film does because then it would come off as distasteful and exploitative. Instead, Bayona shows the incoming tidal wave as a reflection on a glass door and just when Maria braces herself, the film immediately cuts to black. Sounds of rushing water are heard and then we see Maria, bloody and battered, screaming for Lucas while the water indiscriminately destroys everything in its path. It's a terrifying scene, one that held my stomach in a knot as the two are tossed around like ragdolls by the strong current. 

The direction here is utilized for maximum impact, with Bayona bringing a raw intensity that may be too much for more sensitive viewers. As the waves subside and the full scope of the destruction comes into view, Maria and Lucas struggle to survive; the brief glimpses of their injuries are nothing short of horrific. This is why the film affected me so deeply because Bayona doesn't shy away from the human toll that comes from such a disaster but he never verges into sensationalism. The sense of loneliness and desperation that comes with not knowing if your loved ones survived or perished is felt throughout. Sánchez's script tells a straightforward story but it derives much of its drama by putting the audience 'in the moment' and immersing us into the mindset of these characters. However, the film does commit one small misstep, relying on a series of contrived coincidences in the last twenty minutes as characters just miss each other. It feels artificial and forced but it then crescendos into an uplifting moment that put a lump in my throat. Films like these can devolve into mawkish over-sentimentalism but Bayona treats the material with a deft touch, pushing "The Impossible" as a late but no less worthy addition to the list of best films of 2012. 

A large part of what makes the film so harrowing is the naturalistic performances. Naomi Watts is one of my favorite actresses and here, she's put through the gauntlet, the agony and pain etched on her face is so real that just typing about it makes me feel emotional. I've always felt Ewan McGregor was underrated as an actor and here he proves what he's capable of when given such strong material. In a gut-wrenching scene, Henry calls Maria's father Brian but breaks down in tears. It's a powerful moment that represents how easily our lives can be taken away in an instant. Upstaging both Watts and McGregor is sixteen-year-old Tom Holland. This is his on-screen debut but what a debut it is, perfectly conveying the fear and desperation when thrust with the responsibility of keeping his mother alive but there's also a quiet determination in him. Many of the film's most emotional moments come from him and Watts. Addressing the controversy of the film being 'white-washed,' I agree that it's purely a marketing decision to increase international appeal as the family it's based on is Spanish but it's not as if the actors that were chosen are terrible, far from it in fact. I feel that focusing on the particulars of the family's race is doing the film a disservice as its purpose is to show that a disaster like this transcends skin color. To make such a big deal out of this honestly feels rather petty. 

In limited release since December 21, 2012, "The Impossible" has received largely positive reviews with a solid 80% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics noted that 'the screenplay isn't quite as powerful as the direction or the acting, but with such an astonishing real-life story at its center, [the film] is never less than compelling.' Unfortunately, American audiences have shown little interest as it has only grossed a mere $3.6 million, even with an expanded release. Internationally, it's a different story as the film has already earned $67.6 million. Despite having a pair of recognizable leads, the fact that it's a 'foreign' film (this is a Spanish production) has put Americans off. Bolstered by Bayona's confident direction and the cast's excellent performances, "The Impossible" is an unforgettable, emotional experience that not only captures the devastating enormity of the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami but treats it with the respect that it deserves. Audiences will find it hard not to leave the theater deeply affected by what they've seen.

Final Rating: 4.5 out of 5

"Listen, what if that boy was Simon or Thomas? What if they needed help? You'd want someone to help them, wouldn't you?"

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