Rated
R (Violence and Language)
Running
Time: 1 Hour & 37 Minutes
Cast-
Bruce
Willis-John McClane
Jai
Courtney-John 'Jack' McClane Jr.
Sebastian
Koch-Yuri Komarov
Yuliya
Snigir-Irina Komarov
Rasha
Bukvic-Alik
Sergey
Kolesnikov-Viktor Chagarin
Cole
Hauser-Mike Collins
Roman
Luknár-Anton
Amaury
Nolasco-Detective Murphy
Mary
Elizabeth Winstead-Lucy Gennero-McClane
Directed
by John Moore
 |
| Don't look at me! I'm not the reason this film sucks! |
Note: Screened on Tuesday, February 12, 2013 at Regal E-Walk Stadium 13.
'Yippee-ki-yay,
motherf*cker!' Hollywood's current nostalgia for the action movies of the
1980's continues with "A Good Day to Die Hard," the fifth installment
in the twenty-five year old "Die Hard" franchise. The words "Die
Hard" and Bruce Willis have been inseparable since the release of the 1988
original (widely considered to be one of the
best action films ever made with 94% on Rotten Tomatoes) but what most people
don't know was that the role of John McClane was initially meant for none other
than the 'Chairman of the Board' himself—Frank Sinatra. "Die Hard" is
actually based on Roderick Thorp's 1979 novel Nothing Lasts Forever, which was a sequel to an earlier work,
1966's The Detective, where the lead
character was called Joe Leland. Back in 1968, Sinatra starred in a film
adaptation of The Detective, so when
it came time to casting "Die Hard," 20th Century Fox was contractually
obligated to offer Sinatra the part of Leland/McClane, despite him being
seventy-three years old at the time. Sinatra declined to return and the script
was retooled to be a sequel to Arnold Schwarzenegger's "Commando."
When Schwarzenegger also turned it down, the script was retooled again, this time into the film that we
all know and love. The rest, as they say, is history. Unfortunately, hack
director John Moore tosses everything that was unique about "Die Hard"
out the window. Not only is the story in "A Good Day to Die Hard" non-existent
but the action is a loud, poorly-edited mess that will likely result in
seizures for those watching. It's a shame to see the series ruined like this;
'R.I.P. "Die Hard" franchise…We'll always have Nakatomi Plaza' (Brian
Orndorf, Blu-Ray.com).
Viktor Chagarin (Sergey Kolesnikov), a corrupt
high-ranking government official in Moscow, plans to incriminate political
prisoner and whistleblower Yuri Komarov (Sebastian Koch) when he refuses to
hand over a secret file. Meanwhile, Jack McClane (Jai Courtney) attempts to
assassinate a man named Anton (Roman Luknár) at a Russian night club but is
promptly arrested. He agrees to testify against Komarov in return for a shorter
sentence. Veteran NYPD detective John McClane (Bruce Willis), who has not been
in touch with his son in years, learns of Jack's whereabouts and decides to go
to Russia to bail him out. Fresh off the plane, John arrives to find the
courthouse where Jack and Komarov are awaiting to be sentenced struck by a
massive explosion. Inside, Jack takes advantage of the chaos to escape with
Komarov but runs into his estranged father instead. Learning that his son is a
CIA operative assigned to bring Komarov to safety, John decides to join forces
with Jack as they find themselves on the run from Chagarin's men, with only
their wits to back them up.
The problems in "A Good Day to Die Hard"
quickly become apparent not even a minute into the film as what is supposed to
be a tense exchange between former friends is turned into a distracting shaky-cam
mess. In fact, the entire film is shot this way! Despite the mixed reception
among fans, 2007's "Live Free or Die Hard" proved to be a fun, even
thrilling action flick. Yes, it was handicapped by a PG-13 rating but Len
Wiseman understood what made John McClane such an enduring action hero icon.
Here was this simple police officer, thrust into an impossible situation and
forced to rely on his instincts alone to survive. Even when beaten to within an
inch of his life, McClane still fought back and he did it while laughing in the
face of Death. In the words of Collider's Matt Goldberg, 'screenwriter Skip
Woods and director John Moore could not care less.' To call this sorry excuse
of a story 'terrible' would be a huge understatement. Not only is it needlessly
convoluted, nothing makes a lick of sense. Supposedly Jack is to help smuggle
Komarov out of Russia to be extracted by the CIA but it would appear he has no
idea what he's doing because it is the explosion
triggered by Chagarin's men that allows him to escape. Making matters worse is
the lack of a true villain. One of the most entertaining aspects of the
"Die Hard" films is the cat-and-mouse game that McClane plays with
the villain as he tries to figure out their motives and how best to stop them.
This is entirely absent in Moore's film and in its place is a string of loud, crappy
action scenes that will turn audience's brains into powdered dust. Moore
exhibits a complete disregard of geography when it comes to filming these
scenes, randomly editing a bunch of shots together and paying no attention to
even simple continuity. There's a car chase that goes on for far too long and
is just so poorly composited that you have to wonder if anyone watched the film
before sending it out the door. Not to mention that McClane walks away from two car wrecks with just a scratch on
his face. I'm simply amazed that 20th Century Fox allowed an abomination like
"A Good Day to Die Hard" to be released. What a way to kill one of your
most popular franchises.
Bruce Willis once again reprises his famous role as
John McClane and while it's still fun watching him smirk in the face of danger,
he basically sleepwalks throughout the entire film. Willis is reduced to
running around in front of a green-screen while shouting one of two lines:
'Jesus!' and 'I'm on f*cking vacation!' Strange, I thought he was in Russia to
rescue his son. Jai Courtney made quite an impression in last December's
"Jack Reacher" but as McClane's son Jack, he's an insufferable
assh*le and definitely not worthy to
carry on the "Die Hard" franchise. When a complete stranger like Zeus
shares more chemistry with McClane compared to his own flesh-and-blood, you
know you're in deep trouble. As for the 'villains,' Russian model Yuliya Snigir
offers some nice eye-candy but little else. Tagging along is Rasha Bukvic as
Chagarin's right-hand man Alik, who uses tap-dancing to taunt his enemies. I'm
not even joking here.
"A Good Day to Die Hard" was released on
February 14, 2013 to overwhelmingly negative reviews with 17% on Rotten
Tomatoes. Critics called it 'the weakest entry in a storied franchise, and not
even Bruce Willis' smirking demeanor can enliven a clichéd, uninspired script.'
The advance screening this past Tuesday proved to be frustrating as there was a
last-minute theater change and to add insult to injury, I ended up sitting next
to an annoying woman who kept whooping and cheering as if this was some sort of
interactive event. It took every fiber of my being not to elbow her in the face. A few audience members behaved this
way as well but for the most part, reactions to the film was lukewarm at best.
It's still poised to open big with at least $55 million over President's Day
weekend and there's even talk of a sixth film! I sincerely hope the franchise
redeems itself because I was left completely speechless at the incompetency on
display in "A Good Day to Die Hard." John McClane has spent his
entire life as the underdog; if he can survive so many life-and-death
situations with a smile on his face, then he can overcome a horrid sequel like
this one.
Final
Rating: 1.5 out of 5
"Some f*ckin' vacation!" (That's as clever as the jokes get.)
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