Rated
PG-13 (Thematic Material involving Threatening Behavior, and for Violence and
Sexuality)
Running
Time: 1 Hour & 55 Minutes
Cast-
Julianne
Hough-Katie Feldman
Josh
Duhamel-Alex Wheatley
Cobie
Smulders-Jo
David
Lyons-Detective Kevin Tierney
Noah
Lomax-Josh Wheatley
Mimi
Kirkland-Lexie Wheatley
Red
West-Roger
Robin
Mullins-Maddie
Irene
Ziegler-Mrs. Feldman
Juan
Carlos Piedrahita-Detective Ramirez
Ric
Reitz-Police Chief Mulligan
Cullen
Moss-Police Officer Bass
Mike
Pniewski-Lieutenant Robinson
Directed
by Lasse Hallström
 |
| Nothing like watching two sad white people fall in love! |
Note: Screened on Tuesday, February 5, 2013, at AMC Loews Orpheum 7.
Hollywood
has always used Valentine's Day to churn out another in a long line of generic,
clichéd romance films and this year is no different with the release of
"Safe Haven," based on the 2010 novel of the same name from Nicholas
Sparks starring Julianne Hough and Josh Duhamel. With already seventeen novels to his name since his
debut in 1996, Sparks has turned himself into a worldwide literary phenomenon but
that success is built on him recycling the same soppy love story over and over
again. He knows how to push the emotional buttons of young woman and exploits
this mercilessly while laughing all the way to the bank. In his own
(delusional) mind, Sparks sees himself as the next Ernest Hemingway, a
sentiment that would make the Nobel Prize-winning author turn in his grave. The
seven films already adapted from Sparks' novels have grossed over $600 million
worldwide yet none of them have been able to receive favorable reviews from critics
(2004's "The Notebook" came close with 52% on Rotten Tomatoes; the
rest fall into the 20 to 30% range). It doesn't seem like the target audience
really cares though as they eat up the author's schmaltzy melodrama like cheap movie
popcorn. Hough and Duhamel manage to deliver charming enough performances in
their respective lead roles but "Safe Haven" does little to deviate
from the now-tired formula set forth by Sparks. After all, why fix something
that isn't broken?
Fleeing a violent domestic situation in Boston, Katie
Feldman (Julianne Hough) boards a bus bound for Atlanta, Georgia but during a
brief layover in Southport, North Carolina, she decides to stay behind and start
a new life for herself in this small American town. Katie quickly finds work as
a waitress at the local diner and rents a small cabin out in the woods, away
from prying eyes. She later befriends her neighbor, a lonely woman with a
mysterious past named Jo (Cobie Smulders). Although determined to keep a
low-profile, Katie soon catches the attention of small grocery store owner Alex
Wheatley (Josh Duhamel), a widower struggling to raise his two children, Lexie
(Mimi Kirkland) and Josh (Noah Lomax), after losing his wife to cancer. Initially
wary of Alex, Katie soon finds herself falling in love with him (thanks to a little
prodding from Jo), and slowly bonds with not only his children but also with
Southport's close-knit community. However, Katie's past soon catches up with
her when a persistent Boston detective, Kevin Tierney (David Lyons), comes
looking for her as she is a suspect for murder.
With its soulful looks,
swooning gazes, and perpetual sunsets, "Safe Haven" has all the
hallmarks of a Nicholas Sparks film. What's really amazing is that Sparks
started writing the novel back in February, 2010 and he finished in a mere seven months, with the rights to the
film adaptation being sold to Relativity Media a year later. If only George
R.R. Martin wrote this fast but that's the difference between quality and
quantity. Not only is "Safe Haven" a copy-and-paste job from director
Lasse Hallström (who also helmed 2010's "Dear John" and yes, it's
based on a Nicholas Sparks novel too), it also blatantly plagiarizes from
1991's "Sleeping with the Enemy" starring Julia Roberts, but with all
the edge stripped away. It's an attempt to add a few wrinkles to the Nicholas
Sparks formula yet the resulting script from Leslie Bohem and Dana Stevens
remains uninspired, bereft of any suspense or drama because everything that
happens is telegraphed well in advance. This lack of effort stems from
laziness; the film is already guaranteed to sell tickets so why even bother
trying? There's also a decidedly television-like quality to the film as the
opening scene finds our young heroine Katie running for her life while a generic
score that absolutely fails to build any tension plays in the background. Once
Katie arrives in Southport, North Carolina (the setting of every Nicholas
Sparks novel), she's immediately able to find a job without any background
check whatsoever and is somehow able to rent a picturesque cabin out in the
woods on a waitress' salary. The actual romance kicks off when Katie shares
'the look' with grocery store owner Alex. Of course, she's reluctant to fall in
love again yet succumbs to her feelings anyway. Apparently, Alex's idea of
courtship means driving out to Katie's cabin in the middle of the night to
leave her a gift (which happens to be a bicycle), because that's not creepy at
all. There is also a canoeing scene as nothing screams romance better like
canoeing. "Safe Haven" hits all these beats like clockwork and yes,
someone dies but right at the end, the film throws a 'twist' that comes so far
out of left field that it would make even M. Night Shyamalan cringe. It
introduces a whole host of plot holes and calls into question Katie's mental
state yet the audience reacted as if this was Hitchcock.
The only saving grace
(besides Terry Stacey's naturalistic cinematography) is Julianne Hough and Josh
Duhamel. Obviously, they were cast more for their looks but their onscreen chemistry
manages to feel genuine enough, allowing their characters' romance and
affection for each other to resonate with sincerity despite the sixteen-year
age gap between Hough and Duhamel. Cobie Smulders is largely extraneous to the
plot until the ending tries to clumsily justify her presence with the
aforementioned twist while David Lyons goes way over-the-top as the villain.
Lyons' role is not as cookie-cutter compared to previous Nicholas Sparks films
but that's not exactly saying much.
"Safe Haven" will be released on
February 14, 2013 and has been screening quite aggressively for the last two
weeks. There are no reviews yet on Rotten Tomatoes but it's safe to say that
it'll land in the 20 to 30% range, in line with previous Nicholas Sparks films.
The advance screening I attended this past Tuesday was, not surprisingly, made
up of women and couples. Being the only male not with a woman made me feel a little self-conscious and yet I
soldiered on. For all its clichés and the head-scratching twist at the end,
"Safe Haven" is not a terrible film, just a really mediocre one.
Still, I recommend passing on it unless your significant other really loves
Nicholas Sparks. Even then, you should just dump her in the theater while you
go see a more worthy film deserving of your attention.
Final
Rating: 2.5 out of 5
"If you're in some kind of trouble we can fix it. I love you and I can't let you go. There's no safer place for you than here with me."
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