Rated
R (Strong Violence, Bloody Images, Language, Some Nudity and Brief Drug Use)
Running
Time: 1 Hour & 31 Minutes
Cast-
Sylvester
Stallone-James Bonomo/Jimmy Bobo
Sung
Kang-Detective Taylor Kwon
Sarah
Shahi-Lisa Bonomo
Jason
Momoa-Keegan
Adewale
Akinnuoye-Agbaje-Robert Nkomo Morel
Christian
Slater-Marcus Baptiste
Jon
Seda-Louis Blanchard
Holt
McCallany-Hank Greely
Brian
Van Holt-Ronnie Earl
Dane
Rhodes-Lieutenant Lebreton
Marcus
Lyle Brown-Detective Towne
Weronika
Rosati-Lola
Directed
by Walter Hill
 |
| My body is the complete opposite of this. |
Note: Screened on Wednesday, January 30th, 2013, at Regal Union Square Stadium 14.
With
Schwarzenegger, Stallone, and Willis releasing their new films one week apart
from each other, 2013 is starting to feel a lot like the 1980s but are these old-school
action stars even relevant anymore when blockbusters are now dominated by
massive CG effects and men in tights? The early 2000's saw Stallone's career
hitting a dead-end (as did Schwarzenegger) but rather than fade into relative
obscurity, the actor fell back on the films that made him a household name and
forged a new path as a writer/director. This culminated with the release of "The
Expendables" in 2010, a nostalgic throwback to the violent action films of
the 1980s that not only revitalized Stallone's career but a whole host of aging
action stars, including Schwarzenegger. The novelty of seeing all of them
together on the big screen allowed "The Expendables," along with its
2012 sequel, to become box office successes but when Schwarzenegger struck out
on his own two weeks ago with "The Last Stand" (his first major
acting role in ten years), it flopped, debuting with an embarrassing $6.3
million during its opening weekend. Despite its mixed reviews, I found
"The Last Stand" to be a fun, if unremarkable, action flick and I
approached Stallone's "Bullet to the Head" with similar expectations.
Unfortunately, "Bullet to the Head" fails to even meet those modest
standards as the once-great Walter Hill turns what could've been a cheesy
thrill ride into a dull and lifeless affair that not even Stallone can save.
Contract
killer James Bonomo, aka Jimmy Bobo (Sylvester Stallone), and his partner Louis
Blanchard (Jon Seda) are hired to kill disgraced police officer Hank Greely
(Holt McCallany) but once the job is done, their employers double-cross them by
sending in a ruthless mercenary named Keegan (Jason Momoa) to tie up any loose
ends. With Blanchard dead, Jimmy vows revenge and forms an uneasy alliance with
Taylor Kwon (Sung Kang), a Washington D.C. detective investigating the death of
his former partner, who just happens to be the very same man that Jimmy and
Blanchard were initially hired to kill. The two soon unravel a conspiracy
involving an unscrupulous real-estate developer named Robert Nkomo Morel
(Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje) but Jimmy's thirst for vengeance takes a dangerous
turn when his estranged daughter Lisa (Sarah Shahi) is kidnapped by Keegan.
Meanwhile, Kwon futilely clings to the belief that justice will be served even
as he finds himself conflicted over his duties as a cop and his newfound
feelings for Lisa.
Loosely based on Alexis Nolent's 2004 French graphic novel Du Plomb Dans La Tête, "Bullet to
the Head" literally begins with a bang as a bullet hurtles through the
studio logos toward the screen, promising an unabashedly violent and old-school
action thriller but sadly, there's not an ounce of passion behind Walter Hill's
direction. Like Stallone, Hill's career took off during the late-1970s and
1980s thanks to films like "The Warriors" and "48 Hrs." (which
popularized the 'buddy cop' subgenre) but after the box office failure of 2000's
"Supernova" and the lukewarm response to 2002's
"Undisputed," Hill retreated to the world of television for the next
eleven years. The formerly in-demand director once said in an interview that
'every film I've done has been a Western' and explains that it is the 'stripped
down moral universe…beyond the normal avenues of social control and social
alleviation' that makes the genre so compelling. While there are inklings of
this in "Bullet to the Head," it's wrapped in a generic and lifeless
script that's dead-on-arrival. One of the more glaring issues is that the film
feels over-plotted. Instead of indulging in yet another dastardly real-estate
scheme, which ultimately didn't even matter by the film's end (not to mention
that January's "Broken City" already beat it to the punch), writer
Alessandro Camon should've kept it simple by stripping the story to its bare
essentials, similar to last year's highly underrated "Dredd." Either
that or go for the tongue-in-cheek awareness like in Schwarzenegger's "The
Last Stand." Faring even worse is the 'buddy cop' aspect as Detective Kwon's
character is sorely underwritten and functions as little more than a mouthpiece
of exposition while being the butt of Jimmy's increasingly racist 'jokes.' As
for the fight scenes, they're appropriately brutal, fulfilling the promise of
the film's title with its high volume of graphic violence but they're often
reduced to being a jumbled blur of fists as the camera moves in way too close
to the action. The haphazard editing doesn't help matters either. From the
cheap, straight-to-video production values to Steve Mazzaro's annoyingly
repetitive jazz score, "Bullet to the Head" reeks of laziness and
it's abundantly clear in every scene that this was just a low-rent
work-for-hire gig for Hill.
Sylvester Stallone may be sixty six-years-old but
the man's body is still chiseled like solid granite, with veins threatening to
burst under his bulging muscles. Unfortunately, when it comes to dialogue, he's
barely decipherable and many of his one-liners are just so absurdly written by
Camon that it feels like Stallone is playing a poor parody of himself. He's
paired with Sung Kang but the two have such a complete lack of chemistry that
it drags the film down. Jason Momoa fares surprisingly well as the main
villain, exuding a quiet menace behind his eyes while Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje
and Christian Slater are clearly slumming for a paycheck. Sarah Shahi pops up
as the perfunctory damsel-in-distress and even has a nude scene for no apparent
reason. Many of the women encountered in the film often have no clothes on,
which feels like shameless pandering to its male audience and is frankly,
pathetic.
Released on February 1, 2013, "Bullet to the Head" has
received mixed reviews with 49% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics admitted that the
film's 'unapologetically trashy thrills evoke memories of its star and
director's proud cinematic pasts—but sadly, those memories are just about all
it has to offer.' The advance screening didn't even pack a full house and with
Schwarzenegger and Statham flopping at the box office, Stallone's film will be
lucky to even break $10 million. Making matters worse is that it's arriving on
Super Bowl weekend, meaning that most men will be staying home instead of going
to the theater. "Bullet to the Head" may provide a few thrills when
it comes to the action but the film is ultimately forgettable and is no better
than all the straight-to-DVD flicks that line the back shelf of your local
video store.
Final
Rating: 2 out of 5
"Give him a band-aid and a Blow Pop!"
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