Rated
R (Sexual Content and Language)
Running
Time: 1 Hour & 52 Minutes
Cast-
Jason
Bateman-Sandy Bigelow Patterson
Melissa
McCarthy-Diana
Amanda
Peet-Trish Patterson
Robert
Patrick-Skiptracer
Genesis
Rodríguez-Marisol
Clifford
Joseph Harris, Jr./T.I.-Julian
Morris
Chestnut-Detective Reilly
John
Cho-Daniel Casey
Eric
Stonestreet-Big Chuck
Mary-Charles
Jones-Franny Patterson
Maggie
Elizabeth Jones-Jessie Patterson
Jonathan
Banks-Paolo
Directed
by Seth Gordon
 |
| "This woman destroyed my personal and financial life but I don't blame her because she had a terrible childhood." Uh-huh, I would still put her away. |
Note: At UA Court Street Stadium 12.
Having
your identity stolen is no laughing matter—it's a serious offense that has left
many victims in a state of personal and financial ruin. These people can't even
perform a simple act like renting an apartment or buying a car because their
credit history has been irreparably damaged. Making matters worse is when the
thief commits a crime in the victim's name, resulting in a criminal record
that's almost impossible to get expunged. Identity theft destroys lives but
Hollywood seems to believe that it's all fun and games in director Seth
Gordon's latest R-rated comedy, "Identity Thief," starring Jason
Bateman and Melissa McCarthy. Ever since her scene-stealing role as Megan in
Paul Feig's 2011 comedy "Bridesmaids" (for which she was nominated
for an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress), McCarthy has been enjoying a
new level of fame, both on television and in film. Unfortunately, McCarthy and
Bateman's comedic talents are completely wasted in "Identity Thief,"
as the film features not one single laugh-worthy moment in its entire two-hour
running time but even worse is the fact it forces the audience to sympathize
with a woman who lies, cheats, and steals to get her way.
Sandy Bigelow
Patterson (Jason Bateman) is a mild-mannered, play-by-the-rules family man who
works at a high-profile financial firm in Denver, Colorado. Trapped in a
dead-end job as an accounts processor, Sandy gets his big-break when a group of
disgruntled co-workers led by Daniel Casey (John Cho) reveal that they are
quitting their jobs to form their own firm. They ask him to join them, offering
Sandy the coveted position of vice president. Enticed by the promise of a
higher salary, he readily agrees but his happiness proves to be short-lived
when he learns that his identity has been stolen by a woman named Diana (Melissa
McCarthy) living in Winter Park, Florida. With the local police tied up in
jurisdictional bureaucracy, Sandy decides to take matters into his own hands
and drives down to Florida in the hopes of convincing the scam artist to face
the music. When the two finally meet, Diana punches Sandy in the throat and
tries to escape but she is forced to team-up with him when she finds herself
pursued by a wild bounty hunter (Robert Patrick) and two gun-toting assassins
(Genesis Rodríguez and T.I.).
"Identity Thief" is by far one of the
worst comedies I have ever seen. The script from Craig Mazin and Jerry Eeten
follows the buddy road trip formula to the letter, resulting in an uninspired
and predictable film that is twenty minutes too long but what's worse is that
there is not one scene that can be
called funny. To sit through a two-hour 'comedy' that offers absolutely no
laughs makes for a painful viewing experience. Besides its lazy story-telling,
one of the more glaring problems is that there are too many characters. Was it
necessary to include Robert Patrick's bounty hunter and the two assassins played by Genesis Rodríguez and T.I.? Not
only does their presence seem incongruous but they feel like they belong in an
entirely different film altogether—or as ScreenRant's Kofi Outlaw puts it,
'like somebody forcibly wedged a slice of urban crime drama into a white bread
comedy.' However, that's small potatoes compared to the wildly veering tone.
Seth Gordon accurately depicts how scary it is to have your identity stolen as
Sandy's life starts to crumble all around him. He's angry and rightfully so.
Then the film has the gall to ask its audience to feel sorry for Diana. This
monster of a woman financially ruins an innocent man and almost gets him fired
from his new job but it's all okay because despite her obvious sociopathic
behavior, deep down she just wants to be loved. See, "Identity Thief"
exhibits a double-standard. At one point, Sandy and Diana stop at a restaurant
in Georgia and in order to get a free meal, Diana tells the waitress a sob
story that paints Sandy in a bad light…to put it mildly. Later, Sandy openly
insults her in front of a hotel clerk, which offends Diana! It's reprehensible
to see this woman pathologically lie to get what she wants and then excuse it
by shoehorning a 'heartbreaking' story of abandonment. She even wrangles Sandy
into committing credit card fraud, as long as the victim is someone 'who deserves
it.' It really makes me wonder if anyone actually read the script given the
cavalier way the film treats its subject matter.
Jason Bateman and Melissa
McCarthy are two very talented comedians but they deserve better than
"Identity Thief." I'll admit that pairing the two was a stroke of
genius as they do make for an appealing 'odd couple,' with Bateman once again
bringing a charming wit as the straight man while McCarthy bounces all sorts of
verbal and physical comedy off her co-star like a human ping-pong ball. It's
just a shame that McCarthy's earnest commitment to her role is not matched by
the film's quality. The rest of the supporting cast fails to leave much of an
impression. Robert Patrick, Genesis Rodríguez, and T.I. bring a level of menace
that never fits in with the film's already-conflicted tone while Amanda Peet,
John Cho, and Morris Chestnut are reduced to playing generic roles for a
paycheck. The only actor that almost garner's a chuckle is Eric Stonestreet
from ABC's "Modern Family." His cameo is arguably the only highpoint
in the film but it's marred by another forced attempt at sympathy.
Released on
February 8, 2013, "Identity Thief" has received overwhelmingly
negative reviews with 24% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics noted that what little laughs
in the film can be 'attributable to Melissa McCarthy and Jason Bateman, who
labor mightily to create a framework for [it's] undisciplined plotline.' Like
clockwork, audiences flocked to the theater to the tune of $34.6 million,
paying no heed to its atrocious reviews. Of course, they all ate it up and it's
pathetic to see films like this get rewarded. The list of worst films of 2013
continues to grow as "Identity Thief" is an absolute failure of a
comedy, offering virtually no laughs and excusing the despicable behavior of a
criminal by resorting to an offensive, schmaltzy back-story. Jason Bateman and
Melissa McCarthy are not at fault here and hopefully they can bounce back with
a project more worthy of their talents.
Final
Rating: 1.5 out of 5
"Look at her. That number right there's her height. She's like a Hobbit. I can handle her. I'm going after Bilbo."
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