The Smurfs 2 3D Review

Rated PG (Some Rude Humor and Action)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 45 Minutes

Cast-

Neil Patrick Harris-Patrick Winslow

Jayma Mays-Grace Winslow

Brendan Gleeson-Victor Doyle

Hank Azaria-Gargamel

Jonathan Winters (voice)-Papa Smurf

Katy Perry (voice)-Smurfette

Anton Yelchin (voice)-Clumsy Smurf

George Lopez (voice)-Grouchy Smurf

John Oliver (voice)-Vanity Smurf

Christina Ricci (voice)-Vexy

J.B. Smoove (voice)-Hackus

Fred Armisen (voice)-Brainy Smurf

Alan Cumming (voice)-Gutsy Smurf

Jeff Foxworthy (voice)-Handy Smurf

Kenan Thompson (voice)-Greedy Smurf

Paul Reubens (voice)-Jokey Smurf

Shaquille O'Neal (voice)-Smooth Smurf

B.J. Novak (voice)-Baker Smurf

Jimmy Kimmel (voice)-Passive-Aggressive Smurf

Shaun White (voice)-Clueless Smurf

Mario Lopez (voice)-Social Smurf

Frank Welker (voice)-Azrael

Directed by Raja Gosnell

Smurfette is transported back to the real world where she meets the Naughties in "The Smurfs 2."

Note: Screened on Sunday, July 28, 2013 at AMC Magic Johnson Harlem 9.

Summer 2013 has already had its fair share of critical duds (the thought of "Grown Ups 2" still makes me shudder) but that list is about to get three apples bigger with "The Smurfs 2." Created by Belgian illustrator Peyo (real name Pierre Culliford) and first appearing in Spirou magazine in 1958, the Smurfs quickly proved to be a huge success but the little blue humanoids didn't emerge as the pop culture icons they are today until 1981 when animation studio Hanna-Barbera began producing a Saturday-morning cartoon based on the comic strip for NBC. The Emmy-award winning series (it won for Outstanding Children's Entertainment Series in 1982 and 1983) lasted for eight seasons with a whopping 256 episodes. The stories may have been paper-thin (even by 1980's standards) but for people who grew up during that era, it was like 'kiddie cocaine' as described by IGN. Given Hollywood's current obsession with everything 1980's, a feature film based on the Smurfs was inevitable. Released two years ago in 2011, Raja Gosnell's "The Smurfs" was only a moderate success in the U.S. but once the film's international grosses were factored in, the total box office take stood at $563.7 million despite its overwhelmingly negative reviews (22% on Rotten Tomatoes). I recently sat down to watch "The Smurfs" in preparation for the sequel and while it's not as bad as I thought it would be, the film is still rather mediocre (not to mention terribly dull) with its cringe-inducing 'jokes' and distracting product placement. To be released on July 31, "The Smurfs 2" is slightly more tolerable compared to its predecessor and children will undoubtedly love it but the whole affair remains a clumsy (no pun intended), half-hearted mess that's packed to the brim with annoyingly derivative cartoon violence.

Finding herself plagued by nightmares that she'll betray her fellow Smurfs, Smurfette (Katy Perry) shares her concerns with Papa Smurf (Jonathan Winters), who reassures his adopted daughter that Smurf Village is where she truly belongs. Meanwhile, the other Smurfs are busy planning a birthday party for Smurfette and are intent on keeping it a surprise but this leads to Smurfette thinking that everyone had forgotten. The evil wizard Gargamel (Hank Azaria), still trapped in the real world, has reinvented himself as a beloved stage magician with his Smurf essence-powered illusions and has even managed to create a pair of Smurf-like clones called the 'Naughties.' However, he lacks Papa Smurf's secret formula to turn them into real Smurfs. Using the Eiffel Tower as a conduit, Gargamel opens a portal to Smurf Village and sends one of his Naughties, Vexy (Christina Ricci), to kidnap Smurfette so that he can force her to divulge the secret formula. Quickly putting together a rescue team consisting of Clumsy (Anton Yelchin), Grouchy (George Lopez), and Vanity Smurf (John Oliver), Papa Smurf travels to New York City using his magic crystals in order to ask for Patrick Winslow's (Neil Patrick Harris) help in locating Smurfette. Traveling to Paris with his wife Grace (Jayma Mays) and stepfather Victor (Brendan Gleeson), Patrick and the Smurfs set out to rescue Smurfette before Gargamel learns of the secret formula.

Owing its existence to the original's sizable box office haul, "The Smurfs 2" is an unwarranted follow-up that is content with recycling the same story, the same jokes, and the same themes to mind-numbing effect. With five people working on the script, you'd think they come up with something a little more inspired. At least the egregious product placement is somewhat lessened, although we still get scenes where Gargamel spends ten whole minutes waving a Sony tablet in front of our faces. This time around, Smurfette is put front-and-center as her fear of reverting to her 'naughty' self returns on her birthday due to Gargamel being her 'real' father. When Vexy suddenly whisks Smurfette away to the real world, a small group of Smurfs led by Papa follow behind to rescue her as the action switches from New York City to more tax-friendly Paris. That's as 'innovative' as this sequel gets, with the rest of the film resorting to the usual noisy hijinks that are tailor-made to the ADD crowd. The slapstick comedy is uninspired, specifically Clumsy's antics. He's constantly tripping over himself, which is not only exasperating to watch but leads me to wonder why the other Smurfs don't just put him down considering the guy is such a hazard to himself and others. When you're watching a film this boring, your mind tends to wander. Although there are a few amusing bits to be found, such as Vanity Smurf's tendency to over-admire himself in the mirror or when Patrick's stepdad is turned into a duck (I'm not even kidding here), "The Smurfs 2" will most likely leave those over the age of seven stone-faced.

The script also comes off as half-baked, which shouldn't come as a surprise. Gargamel flat out admits to Vexy and the moronic Hackus (J.B. Smoove) that he's basically going to kill them for their essence once he turns them into real Smurfs and yet they happily help him with his plan anyway. What are they, Suicidal Smurfs? One of the more bearable aspects of the previous film was Patrick's struggle with his impending responsibilities as a father. This theme of fatherhood is revisited once again (albeit with some minor variations) as Patrick has to learn to accept his stepdad while Smurfette deals with her own daddy issues. Both of them come to realize that a parent doesn't necessarily have to be biological to love and care for you. I admit this is a nice sentiment but it's hard to imagine how this could be of any interest to kids. Still, it's one of the few elements in the film that doesn't want to make you claw your own eyes out, even if it is painfully clichéd.

As far as the animation goes, it's slick-looking (with the exception of the poorly-rendered Azrael) and the Smurfs themselves are pretty detailed whenever the camera zooms in close on them. One particular visual highlight is when Smurfette, Vexy, and Hackus fly around Paris on storks. However, the integration between live-action and CG never feels entirely seamless because the Smurfs are missing a sort of tangibility compared to something like Ted, from the 2012 film of the same name. The 3D fares the worse. Save for a few moments where particle effects are involved, it's completely non-existent. Scenes were literally in 2D when I took off my glasses to see how much 3D was being utilized. Hell, the 'Sony Digital Cinema 4K' logo looked more three-dimensional compared to the entire film itself! If you must go see "The Smurfs 2," avoid the 3D version because you're essentially getting ripped-off.

The performances are a mixed bag, with the voice cast faring better as opposed to the live-action one. As likable as Neil Patrick Harris is, he's shackled by the film's overly-cartoonish tone and at times, he looks positively embarrassed to be starring in it. The amazingly adorable Jayma Mays seems to be enjoying herself while Brendan Gleeson throws himself into his role as stepdad Victor with wild abandon. He treats the film as a lark and genuinely appears to be having fun, especially when his character is transformed into a duck. I can't say the same for Hank Azaria though. His go-for-broke performance as the inept wizard Gargamel was incredibly grating on my nerves and is even worse than hearing fingernails on a chalkboard. The voice cast, which includes Anton Yelchin, George Lopez, and John Oliver among others, put in some good work but the standouts are definitely Jonathan Winters and yes, Katy Perry. Winters, who sadly passed away in April, exhibits a wise, grandfatherly warmth as Papa Smurf while Perry's Smurfette is endearingly sweet and dare I say, cute.

Set for release on July 31, 2013, reviews for "The Smurfs 2" are slowly trickling out but I doubt it'll improve much compared to the original, if at all, with the score on Rotten Tomatoes currently sitting at 40%. Ultimately though, it doesn't really matter what critics say because parents will take their children to see the film regardless of how negative the reviews are. Its box office success is pretty much assured and a third installment has already been green-lit by Sony Pictures Animation for 2015. Although certain aspects of this sequel weren't wholly terrible, it doesn't change the fact "The Smurfs 2" is an uninspired, formulaic, and cynically-made product designed to appeal to the lowest-common-denominator. Hey, at least it's not as bad as "Grown Ups 2." That's the best damn praise I can give.

Final Rating: 2 out of 5

"As someone wonderful once told me, it doesn't matter where you came from. What matters is who you choose to be."

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The To-Do List Review

Rated R (Pervasive Strong Crude and Sexual Content including Graphic Dialogue, Drug and Alcohol Use, and Language—All involving Teens)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 44 Minutes

Cast-

Aubrey Plaza-Brandy Klark

Johnny Simmons-Cameron

Alia Shawkat-Fiona

Sarah Steele-Wendy

Rachel Bilson-Amber Klark

Scott Porter-Rusty Waters

Bill Hader-Willy

Donald Glover-Derrick

Christopher Mintz-Plasse-Duffy

Andy Samberg-Van

Adam Pally-Chip

Connie Britton-Mrs. Klark

Clark Gregg-Judge Klark

Jack McBrayer-Hillcrest Pool Manager

Directed by Maggie Carey

If you wanted to learn about sex back in the day, you had to try it out yourself.

Note: Screened on Tuesday, April 16, 2013 at Regal E-Walk Stadium 13.

Since the genre's rise during the early 1980's, the coming-of-age teen sex comedy has almost exclusively focused on the men losing their virginity and when they finally do, it's always treated as a triumphant moment without any repercussions whatsoever. Things aren't so rosy for the opposite sex; in 1982's "Fast Times at Ridgemont High," Jennifer Jason Leigh's Stacy Hamilton ends up getting pregnant and is forced to have an abortion. Similarly, Ellen Page's Juno also gets pregnant in Jason Reitman's 2007 film of the same name but instead of an abortion, she decides to give the baby up for adoption. Even when the sex is only pretend like in 2010's "Easy A," Emma Stone's Olive is still ostracized by her classmates due to her supposedly promiscuous behavior. It creates an uncomfortable double-standard where men can have all the sex they want without facing the consequences while women should just not have any sex at all because they'll always be judged or punished for it. Maggie Carey's directorial debut "The To-Do List" thankfully changes all that. For once, a female character isn't publically shamed for wanting to have sex and is even encouraged to do so by both her friends and parents. Nothing trumps experience as the age-old adage goes. Carey's "The To-Do List" may feel rough around the edges from a technical standpoint but the film succeeds in delivering a ribald teen sex comedy that's both genuinely funny and refreshingly honest, even if it doesn't exactly reinvent the wheel when it comes to its genre.

Taking place in Boise, Idaho in 1993, Brandy Klark (Aubrey Plaza) is a straight-A student who's graduating high school with top honors. Not only is she the valedictorian of her class but she's also receiving a full scholarship to Georgetown University in the fall. To celebrate, Brandy's best friends Fiona (Alia Shawkat) and Wendy (Sarah Steele) drag her to a kegger, where she encounters the impossibly-hot Rusty Waters (Scott Porter). Brandy immediately becomes smitten with him but discovers that she's completely ignorant on all matters of sex due to her sheltered lifestyle. Following the advice of her experienced older sister Amber (Rachel Bilson), the over-achiever decides to approach her problem like a school research project and creates a list of every sexual act she's ever heard of, with the intention of doing all of them by the end of the summer so that she can finally lose her virginity to Rusty. With the support of her friends, Brandy dives headfirst into her sexual journey while also working as a lifeguard at a local swimming pool run by the perpetually lazy Willy (Bill Hader). As she starts to understand her sexuality and gain more confidence, Brandy learns that her former lab partner Cameron (Johnny Simmons) is harboring a secret crush, which complicates her goal of losing her virginity.  

When I first saw "The To-Do List" way back in April (yes, it's been screening for that long), director Maggie Carey popped in to say hello before dropping this bombshell: the inspiration for her new film came from her first hand-job. While this is definitely a case of 'too much information,' Carey's frank honesty (to a bunch of strangers sitting in a theater no less) serves as a prime example of why "The To-Do List" succeeds in the first place: it treats sex in a way that's true to life but also exaggerated enough so that we can laugh along. To the uninitiated, the concept of sex amazes just as much as it confuses. Nowadays, a person can easily look up what a 'rim job' is online but back in 1993, you couldn't do that. Although it occasionally delves into sight gags involving all manner of bodily fluids, a lot of the humor is derived from Brandy's complete lack of experience in sexual matters. She remarks to herself that tea-bagging 'must be British' and states that getting a pearl necklace sounds 'really elegant.' The structure of the film doesn't deviate from the established formula seen in other teen sex comedies but where it differentiates from them is the overall message in regards to sex. When Brandy embarks on her quest, it's with a mixture of fear and excitement. However, the more she learns about sex, the more it underwhelms her. Hell, she describes getting 'finger-banged' as someone digging at an itch they can't scratch! The end of the film can come off as a little preachy yet it's conclusion of sex being only a big deal if you make it a big deal is rather refreshing. Sometimes sex is just sex.

Given how ubiquitous the internet is today, it was smart of Carey to set the action in 1993, a few years before the 'World Wide Web' started to enter the public consciousness. "The To-Do List" is filled with 90's in-jokes from its shots of cassette tapes and the Mac Color Classic to its references to popular television shows like "Home Improvement" and "Beverly Hills 90210" (I fully admit to watching this back in the day because Jennie Garth was hot…and still is). Even the film's soundtrack is pulled from that decade and includes such one hit wonders like 2 Live Crew's Me So Horney (which is played during the opening credits), Naughty by Nature's O.P.P., Mazzy Star's Fade into You, and The Cranberries' Dreams. It's easy for a film like this to fall into the trap of being too nostalgic but fortunately Carey avoid this, creating a setting that's true to the era its depicting while also subtly poking fun at it at the same time. Less successful is Carey's skill behind the camera. Although she's been working in the industry for over a decade, "The To-Do List" is her first feature—and it shows. From a technical perspective, it looks somewhat rough but the main issue is that the film can come off padded at times and could've benefitted from a few more months in the editing room. Still, to get so much right on the first try is already impressive in its own right and that's something that should be praised.

The cast is another reason the film turned out better than expected. Aubrey Plaza has been hailed for her snarky, deadpan-styled comedy on NBC's "Parks and Recreation" and that talent certainly comes in handy in her role as uptight goody two-shoes Brandy Klark. Who else can say 'I am not a quitter' with a straight face while masturbating at the same time? What's great about her performance is that Plaza is able to pull off all the insecurities and confusion of being a teenage girl in a way that feels funny yet also endearingly sincere despite the fact that she's just one year shy of turning thirty. The rest of the supporting cast largely plays stock characters but the actors invest in their roles in small ways that allow them to shine in the film. Alia Shawkat (from "Arrested Development") and Sarah Steele share a great rapport with Plaza while Johnny Simmons is absolutely adorable with his character's puppy-like devotion to Brandy. Even the parents, played by Connie Britton and Clark Gregg (Coulson lives!), steal their share of laughs, particularly Gregg with his puritanical views on sex (Not the back door!). Rachel Bilson is humorously acerbic as older sister Amber and finally, Bill Hader (also Carey's husband) manages to rise above being a caricature as one of the few characters that matures along with Brandy.

Originally set for release on Valentine's Day, "The To-Do List" was pushed back toward summer before settling on July 26, 2013. Reception has been mixed with 56% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics noted that the film had its fair share of laughs but 'play things disappointingly safe given its rather daring premise.' Playing in only 591 locations, it's unlikely the film will crack the top ten at the weekend box office yet it should still make a small profit given its production budget was only a measly $1.2 million. Although it doesn't redefine the teen sex comedy, "The To-Do List" manages to mix raunchy laughs and sincere honesty from a refreshingly female perspective. It's a small film made on a small budget but it ranks as one of this summer's more pleasant surprises.

Final Rating: 3.5 out of 5

"Freshman year is like one big sexual pop quiz. You need to do your homework."

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The Wolverine 3D Review

Rated PG-13 (Sequences of Intense Sci-Fi Action and Violence, Some Sexuality and Language)

Running Time: 2 Hours & 6 Minutes

Cast-

Hugh Jackman-James Howlett/Logan/Wolverine

Tao Okamoto-Mariko Yashida

Rila Fukushima-Yukio

Hiroyuki Sanada-Shingen Yashida

Svetlana Khodchenkova-Viper

Will Yun Lee-Kenuichio Harada

Haruhiko Yamanouchi-Yashida

Brian Tee-Norubo Mori

Famke Janssen-Jean Grey

Ken Yamamura-Young Yashida

Directed by James Mangold

Logan finds himself on foreign land in "The Wolverine."

Note: Screened on Tuesday, July 23, 2013 at AMC Empire 25.

One of the most memorable scenes in 2003's "X2: X-Men United" is when genocidal military scientist William Stryker (played by Brian Cox) leads a daring attack on the X-Mansion, forcing Wolverine to go full 'berserker rage' against his men in order to protect the students. Now imagine taking this one scene and stretching it into a two-hour film. That is "The Wolverine" in a nutshell. I can hardly believe that it's been thirteen years since Australian actor Hugh Jackman was cast in the role of the famous X-Man and since then, he's portrayed the character six times, with an upcoming seventh appearance in next summer's highly-anticipated "X-Men: Days of Future Past." What's amazing is that Jackman still remains passionate about Wolverine when most actors who've played superheroes move on to other roles after their third outing (like Christian Bale with Batman). He pretty much owes his entire career to the ol' Canucklehead but Jackman has smartly avoided being typecast. Created by writer Len Wein and illustrator John Romita, Sr., Wolverine made his first appearance in 1974's The Incredible Hulk #180 before joining the X-Men in Giant-Size X-Men #1. One of the most popular comic book characters of all time, it was no surprise to find Wolverine dominating the "X-Men" films and he was eventually given his own spin-off with 2009's "X-Men Origins: Wolverine." Unfortunately, this prequel ended up being a flop with critics (38% on Rotten Tomatoes), although it was still a box office success with $373.1 million worldwide. Looking to finally do the character proper justice, "The Wolverine" delivers a surprisingly intimate character piece that deftly blends action and drama with another excellent performance from Hugh Jackman.

Near the end of World War II, Logan (Hugh Jackman) finds himself captured by the Japanese and is imprisoned under a well in a military camp near the city of Nagasaki. When the sentries spot the Enola Gay preparing to drop the atomic bomb, a young soldier named Yashida releases all the Allied prisoners before preparing to commit Seppuku. Logan, however, saves him at the last minute and drags him down to the well to protect him from the ensuing blast. A grateful Yashida offers his sword as thanks but Logan refuses and instead asks the soldier to keep it safe for him instead. In the present day, a dying Yashida (Haruhiko Yamanouchi) seeks to return the favor and sends red-haired mutant Yukio (Rila Fukushima) to retrieve Logan, who has become a drifter wandering the Canadian wilds after being forced to kill his great love, Jean Grey (Famke Janssen), when she was consumed by the Phoenix. It takes some convincing but Logan agrees to fly to Tokyo, Japan to see Yashida before he passes away. On his deathbed, Yashida offers Logan a chance at mortality and a dignified death in exchange for the mutant's healing abilities. Although tempted, Logan declines but he soon becomes embroiled in a plot by the Yakuza to kidnap Yashida's granddaughter, Mariko (Tao Okamoto). Logan is forced to protect her as he fends off Black Clan leader Harada (Will Yun Lee) and his mysterious ally, Viper (Svetlana Khodchenkova).

Described by Hugh Jackman as the 'definitive Wolverine film,' James Mangold's "The Wolverine" is loosely based on the 1982 limited series from writer Chris Claremont and illustrator Frank Miller but it also does double duty as a sequel to both 2009's "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" and 2006's "X-Men: The Last Stand." The Gavin Hood-directed prequel was by all accounts a disaster (looking back, I may have been too lenient on it in my review) as it took the origin story of Marvel's most popular mutant and threw in a bunch of random characters that had no business being there. Don't even get me started on how the film completely bastardized Deadpool, the famous 'Merc with a Mouth.' To my great relief, "The Wolverine" rights many of its predecessor's wrongs and what's refreshing about this film is that it's more of a character-driven drama than a standard superhero movie. Instead of saving the world, Logan is slicing and dicing gun-toting Yakuza thugs and sword-wielding ninjas. The Japan setting gives the story an exotic flair, with Mangold taking full advantage of the country's unique architecture, customs, and even its language, but what impressed me the most is how well the writers (Mark Bomback, Scott Frank, and Christopher McQuarrie) got to the heart of Wolverine being a tragic hero. After an intense prologue set during the bombing of Nagasaki in 1945, the film fast-forwards to the present day where a heavily-bearded Logan is living like a hermit out in the Canadian wild. Haunted by the death of Jean Grey, he left the X-Men to wallow in his own guilt. He only returns to civilization (albeit reluctantly) when Yukio seeks him out and convinces him to visit his old friend Yashida before he passes away. Given all the pain he's suffered through the years, the script zeroes in on the burden of immortality and compares Logan to a 'rōnin,' a samurai without a master and thus without a purpose. This is Logan's journey in "The Wolverine": to have something worthy to fight for again. That 'something' arrives in the form of Mariko and while the romance between them is somewhat contrived, Mangold adds an interesting wrinkle to it by having the deceased Jean as 'the other woman.' Even when the film threatens to go off the rails with its overly-convoluted plot, it never loses sight of the characters and it is that focus that makes "The Wolverine" a resounding success.

Although much of the film functions as a brooding character study, there's still quite a lot of action to be found. At one point, Logan finds himself battling a group of Yakuza on top of a speeding bullet train and to make matters worse, his healing factor has been suppressed! Yes, the violence level is still strictly PG-13 yet Mangold manages to lend the fights enough grit and brutality so that it doesn't feel too handicapped. Many critics have complained about the third act feeling too 'cartoonish' but I quite enjoyed it. The Silver Samurai has been reimagined into a large, adamantium robot and while it does come off as silly given how serious the previous ninety minutes were, the resulting fight between this seemingly mindless automaton and Logan is just so well done that it left me on the edge of my seat. Of course, it wouldn't be proper for a film set in Japan to not have some sword-on-sword action, which is where Yukio comes in. She engages in a furious duel to the death with Shingen (Hiroyuki Sanada), who is dressed in full samurai garb. Disappointingly, the 3D fails to add much to the film. There are no brightness issues but because "The Wolverine" is so dialogue-driven, there's very little opportunity to let the 3D shine. Better save your money and go for the 2D version, folks.

This may be Hugh Jackman's sixth outing as Wolverine yet the actor's passion for the Marvel character remains undiminished. Similar to how all portrayals of Superman are inevitably compared to Christopher Reeve's, any actor that plays Wolverine in the future will be compared to Jackman due to the way he embodied the role so completely. It would be so easy for Jackman to slip into auto-pilot and yet…he doesn't. Even with the story in "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" collapsing all around him, he continues to be committed and that commitment carries over to this film. The rest of the supporting Japanese cast deliver solid performances, with Rila Fukushima coming across as quite the badass as the red-haired Yukio. Tao Okamoto gives the picture a feminine touch, even though she's reduced to being the token damsel-in-distress by the end. Both share some nice chemistry with Jackman and what's surprising is that neither of them has acted before. The weakest link is Svetlana Khodchenkova's Viper. She definitely looks sexy as a femme fatale should but the character never comes across as a legitimate threat and feels like a second-rate Poison Ivy. Suffering from an underwritten role is Will Yun Lee's Harada and I have to admit, I was never really sure what side he was on. One minute he's ordering his ninjas to bring Logan down and the next he's helping him against Silver Samurai. Make up your damn mind!

Released on July 26, 2013, "The Wolverine" has received positive reviews with 66% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics found that 'its final act succumbs to the usual cartoonish antics [but the film]…manages to stay true to the comics while keeping casual viewers entertained.' Despite the negative reception from "X-Men Origins: Wolverine," the "X-Men" franchise has proved surprisingly resilient. 2011's "X-Men: First Class" was a welcome return to form for the series and "The Wolverine" continues that trend. Box office success is all but guaranteed and 20th Century Fox is estimating an opening weekend of $60 to $65 million, although it could go up to as high as $75 million. The stakes may not be as high compared to other superhero films but "The Wolverine" still ends up being a winner because it remembers that a good story is sometimes all you need.

Final Rating: 4 out of 5

"Eternity can be a curse. The losses you have had to suffer... a man can run out of things to care for, lose his purpose." 

Make sure to stay during the end credits!

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Only God Forgives Review

Rated R (Strong Bloody Violence including Grisly Images, Sexual Content and Language)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 30 Minutes

Cast-

Ryan Gosling-Julian Thompson

Kristin Scott Thomas-Crystal Thompson

Vithaya Pansringarm-Lieutenant Chang

Yayaying Rhatha Phongam-Mai

Tom Burke-Billy Thompson

Gordon Brown-Gordon

Byron Gibson-Byron

Sahajak Boonthanakit-Kim

Charlie Ruedpokanon-Daeng

Kovit Wattanakul-Choi Yan Lee

Directed by Nicolas Winding Refn

Ryan Gosling stars as Julian in Nicholas Winding Refn's divisive film, "Only God Forgives."

Note: Viewed through Video on Demand. In English and Thai with English subtitles. Review may contain spoilers.

Nicolas Winding Refn's "Drive" was one of the most critically-acclaimed films of 2011 (93% on Rotten Tomatoes) but it was sadly overlooked during the 84th Academy Awards, where the only nomination it received was for Best Sound Editing. Audiences, however, hated the film, with one moviegoer in Michigan going so far as to sue distributor FilmDistrict and theater company Emagine Novi for false advertising and alleged anti-Semitism. Apparently, she thought it would be like "The Fast and the Furious" series. If there was any evidence that stupidity knows no bounds, this would be it. I finally sat down to watch "Drive" recently and I have to say that I was completely blown away. The performances, the music, the cinematography, the slow-burn atmosphere…all of it clicked together so perfectly. Now Refn is reuniting with actor Ryan Gosling for "Only God Forgives," which debuted at the Cannes Film Festival back in May to largely mixed reviews, with many journalists booing the film. This polarized reaction actually made me want to see it even more and it quickly became one of my most anticipated films of the summer. After all, Terrence Malick's "The Tree of Life" was booed at Cannes and it turned out to be one of the best films of 2011. Now in limited release and also available on VOD, "Only God Forgives" is a stylish, hypnotic, violently depraved crime thriller that explores the darkest recesses of the human soul and emerges as one of 2013's most daring pieces of cinema, a true masterpiece that will hopefully get its proper due in the years to come.

Julian Thompson (Ryan Gosling) is an American expatriate living in Bangkok, Thailand with his older brother Billy (Tom Burke), where the two run a Muay Thai boxing club, which is actually a front for a massive drug smuggling operation. When Billy brutally rapes and murders a sixteen-year-old girl, plainclothes police officer Lieutenant Chang (Vithaya Pansringarm) has the father of the girl beat Billy to death as a form of retribution. Julian initially attempts to avenge his brother's death but he lets the father go upon learning what Billy did. Crystal (Kristin Scott Thomas), Billy and Julian's foul-mouthed mother, flies into Bangkok to collect her eldest son's body and demands Julian to go after the people responsible for Billy's death. This puts Julian on a collision course with Chang—the 'Angel of Vengeance.'

"Only God Forgives" is one of those films that pretty much require a second (or third) viewing in order to fully grasp its meaning. While it shares some similarities with "Drive" with its near-mute protagonist and minimalist narrative, Refn's latest is much more abstract, with the picture seemingly existing in a nightmarish dream world where the characters are trapped in a Hell of their own making. The blaring horns of Cliff Martinez's score during the opening credits (which are displayed in Thai) evoke the tone of a horror film. Boiled down in simplest terms, "Only God Forgives" is an Oedipal revenge thriller dressed up as an Old Testament parable of sin and punishment. When Lieutenant Chang, standing in as the vengeful 'God' of the story with his priest-like attire, comes upon the bloodied body of the sixteen-year-old girl that Billy had just raped and murdered, he willingly allows the girl's father to avenge her death. The father proceeds to bash Billy's face with his bare hands until there's nothing left but brain matter. However, that's not the end of it. For forcing his daughter into a life of prostitution, Chang slices off the father's right arm with his sword, which the officer hides just underneath his clothes. In the film, everyone must atone for their sins, no matter how small.

No explanation is given as to why Lieutenant Chang does what he does, with the unassuming officer spending his nights singing cheesy karaoke songs about unrequited love. He and Julian are pitted against each other in a game of cat-and-mouse when Crystal demands that the score be settled with Billy's killers. There are incestuous overtones to Crystal and Julian's relationship; her expression is that of someone who hasn't seen their lover in a long time when the two finally reunite. After verbally berating her son for not being 'man enough' to handle the situation, she says that she'll take care of it and then lightly brushes her finger on Julian's arm. Julian doesn't encounter Chang until thirty minutes in but there are moments where he experiences surreal visions of the officer slowly stalking him, a sign of his guilt weighing heavily on his conscious. Refn's camera often focuses on Julian's arms and his slowly unclenching hands. In the beginning of the film, Chang slices off the father's right arm because he is indirectly responsible for his own daughter's death by letting her sell her body on the street. His 'inaction' as a father led to his daughter's murder. The end of "Only God Forgives" finds Chang about to slice off both of Julian's arms while they're standing in an empty field. Refn suggests that violence breeds more violence because people don't do enough to stop it due to their inaction. Trapped between two opposing forces, the only action left for Julian to take is to accept his punishment, which also happens to be his salvation or 'forgiveness.' Both his arms are covered in his mother's blood (how this happens you'll have to learn for yourself) and by losing them, he 'severs' his ties to Crystal, the 'Devil' of the film.

To go along with the picture's extensive use of symbolism, Refn drenches "Only God Forgives" in an oppressive atmosphere populated by garish neon colors. Much of the action is set in narrow hallways, with the perspective of the camera lending the film a feeling of claustrophobia. The pacing is best described as glacial, with events taking their time to unfold and left to linger. Despite the horrible people inhabiting it, the film is a beautiful sight to behold thanks to the slick production design from Beth Mickle and the mesmerizing cinematography of Larry Smith. This beauty is contrasted with the extreme violence on display. One unsettling scene finds Chang torturing the man who ordered the hit on him by stabbing him in the arms, thighs, eyes, and ears. It'll definitely make you squirm in your seat. Perhaps the most memorable aspect of the film is Cliff Martinez's synth-heavy score. It perfectly complements the picture and reinforces it as an operatic mood piece where the story isn't so much conveyed through dialogue but rather its visuals and music.

Since "Only God Forgives" relies so much on its style to tell its story, the performances in the film are largely treated as an afterthought. With a grand total of seventeen lines of dialogue, Ryan Gosling's Julian is even more stoic compared to the Driver, although this time he has a name at least. The character is a blank slate that's left wide open for interpretation but it's clear he suffers from a guilty conscience. Likewise, Vithaya Pansringarm says very little yet the actor manages to exude a quiet menace despite his harmless appearance. Leaving the biggest impression is British-French actress Kristin Scott Thomas, who plays Julian's Medusa of a mother. With her heavy make-up and bleached blonde hair, Thomas' Crystal overshadows all the other characters with her acidic tongue and displays a love-hate relationship with her son. One minute she's tearing down Julian for having a 'small cock' and the next she's literally begging him to protect her from Chang. What makes Thomas' performance so brilliant is that the character is fully aware of her appalling behavior but she's unable to help herself. Finally, there's pop singer Yayaying Rhatha Phongam as Mai, a prostitute that Julian seems particularly fond of.  

Debuting on July 19, 2013 with a limited theatrical release as well as on VOD, "Only God Forgives" has received mainly negative reviews with only 34% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics noted that 'Refn remains as visually stylish as ever, but [the film] fails to add enough narrative smarts or relatable characters to ground its beautifully filmed depravity.' I'm sorry but I just don't agree with that sentiment. The reason I love this film is because it's challenging; it's not safe like all the other cookie-cutter fare that Hollywood typically releases. That being said, I do admit that you have to be in a special frame-of-mind before you sit down and watch Refn's hellish vision of humanity's darkest impulses. It's easy to make a snap judgment and dismiss "Only God Forgives" as 'terrible' but a film this bizarre has to be savored. I know I'm courting controversy with my opinion but f*ck it, this is one of the best films of 2013 and I highly urge people to go see it, regardless of whether you end up hating it or not.

Final Rating: 5 out of 5

"Let me tell you, if the tables were turned, your brother would have found your killer and brought me his head on a f*cking platter! And you just sit there thinking he got what he deserved! F*ck you."

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Turbo 3D Review

Rated PG (Some Mild Action and Thematic Elements)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 36 Minutes

Cast (voice)-

Ryan Reynolds-Theo/Turbo

Paul Giamatti-Chet

Michael Peña-Tito

Luis Guzmán-Angelo

Samuel L. Jackson-Whiplash

Calvin Cordozar Broadus, Jr./Snoop Dog-Smoove Move

Maya Rudolph-Burn

Ben Schwartz-Skidmark

Mike Bell-White Shadow

Michelle Rodriguez-Paz

Richard Jenkins-Bobby

Ken Jeong-Kim Ly

Bill Hader-Guy Gagné

Kurtwood Smith-Indy CEO

Directed by David Soren

Theo races to the finish line in DreamWorks Animation's latest film, "Turbo."

Note: At AMC Empire 25.

We're taught at an early age that hard work is the path to making our dreams come true but what happens when you find yourself coming up short every time? Exploring this very question is Pixar's recently released prequel "Monsters University," which left viewers with the valuable message that life doesn't always turn out the way you wanted it to be but that doesn't mean you're a failure, it just means that your path lies elsewhere. Going in the complete opposite direction is DreamWorks Animation's latest film "Turbo," which suggests that all dreams can come true as long as you wish for it hard enough. Compared to the more consistent offerings of Pixar, DreamWorks' body of work has been rather hit-or-miss and you never know if you're going to get something amazing like 2010's "How to Train Your Dragon" or something terrible like 2004's "Shark Tale." Unfortunately, "Turbo" leans toward the latter category on the quality scale. Although the film has its charms thanks to some lively voice work, "Turbo" is ultimately let down by a bland, generic underdog story and misguided themes.

Much to the annoyance of his older brother Chet (Paul Giamatti), ordinary garden snail Theo (Ryan Reynolds) dreams of one day becoming a famous racer just like his idol, five-time Indianapolis 500 champion, Guy Gagné (Bill Hader). Chet tries to convince Theo to accept the life that they already have at 'the Plant,' where they harvest tomatoes with other garden snails, but Theo refuses to listen, making him the laughing stock of the entire community. When an attempt to outrace a lawnmower to retrieve a ripe tomato ends in failure, a depressed Theo wanders off one night to the local highway. Knocked from his perch from a passing airplane, the little snail finds himself sucked into the engine of a street racing car and doused with nitrous oxide, which mutates his DNA. Now gifted with the power of lightning-fast speed, Theo—now going by the nickname Turbo—catches the attention of taco hut worker Tito (Michael Peña) and his fellow strip mall employees, which includes nail salon lady Kim-Ly (Ken Jeong), auto-body mechanic Paz (Michelle Rodriguez), and hobby shop owner Bobby (Richard Jenkins). Theo also meets a group of thrill-seeking snails at the strip mall: Whiplash (Samuel L. Jackson), Smoove Move (Snoop Dogg), Burn (Maya Rudolph), Skidmark (Ben Schwartz), and White Shadow (Michael Bell). Hoping to restore the strip mall to its former glory, Tito enters Theo into the Indy 500, much to the disapproval of his brother Angelo (Luis Guzmán). Now given the chance to prove himself to the world, Theo faces off against his idol Gagné in a race to the finish line.

I can already imagine how the pitch went down at DreamWorks: 'For our next film, why don't we do a story about a snail who wants to go fast? It'll be funny because they're so slow!' Then all the studio executives laugh while patting themselves on the back for being so clever. That being said, "Turbo" isn't as bad as the aforementioned "Shark Tale" but it is terribly derivative. Written by Darren Lemke, Robert D. Siegel, and David Soren (who's also making his directorial debut), the film follows the general plotline of every underdog picture to have come out in the last twenty years and the only difference is that it features a snail standing in as an obvious metaphor for human aspirations. As such, you'll know how it all ends right from the very first scene given the recycled nature of its story. In fact, large sections of the film feels like it was pillaged straight from Pixar's vault. The thrill-seeking snails recall the fish-tank misfits from 2003's "Finding Nemo" and the idea of an animal longing to move beyond the limits imposed by Mother Nature is ripped straight out of 2007's "Ratatouille." Partially saving the film is the gallows humor during the first half, with the snails resigned to their eventual fate of being suddenly eaten by crows but for the most part, its attempts at comedy fall flat.

The biggest issue I have with "Turbo" is the mixed messages it sends to the audience. Theo's dreams only come true because of a freak accident; he didn't earn his abilities. Likewise, it is only Tito's chance encounter with Theo that allows his dreams to become a reality. So these two pretty much have everything they want handed to them on a silver platter without actually doing the work. If the real world behaved like this, I would be married to Emma Watson already. Since Theo is basically cheating his way through the race due to his small size, it robs the finale of much of its drama. Also problematic is the logic of the film's world. In addition to his speed, Theo's exposure to nitrous oxide also allows his eyes to behave like headlights and even endows him with an internal radio in his shell. How is this even possible? Even more questionable is the Indy CEO (Kurtwood Smith) letting Theo compete. If they're letting in snails, what's to stop people from entering other animals since it's supposedly not forbidden in the rule book as stated by the CEO. At least the CG animation is good, although that's par for the course these days. The character designs aren't the most imaginative (there's a certain sameness to all the snails) but it works within the context of the film. There are also some nifty sequences, largely pertaining to how Theo perceives the world while racing, and the 3D is utilized well, although it's not an absolute must that you see it in this format.

DreamWorks Animation has always had a penchant for using marquee names to voice their films and "Turbo" is no different. As Theo, Ryan Reynolds manages to bring a sincere earnestness to the little mollusk despite his voice being a little too recognizable. Paul Giamatti also does a great job in bringing Chet's eternal pessimism to life while Bill Hader completely disappears behind Guy Gagné, Theo's idol-turned-bitter rival. The rest of the voice cast is fine in their individual roles but the large number of characters leaves many of them with only a handful of lines. It seems like a waste to hire all these talented people for what amounts to a few days of work in a sound booth.

Released on July 17, 2013, "Turbo" has received mildly positive reviews with 66% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics noted that 'it's nowhere near as inventive as its off-the-wall premise might suggest, but [the film] boasts just enough colorful visual thrills and sharp voice acting to recommend as undemanding family-friendly fare.' DreamWorks couldn't have picked a worse release date as this past weekend it competed with three other films (one of them also starring Ryan Reynolds) as well as animated holdovers "Monsters University" and "Despicable Me 2." With only $31.2 million in the bank and "The Smurfs 2" arriving in less than two weeks, $100 million might be a stretch but not totally undoable. While "Turbo" has its heart in the right place, the film just feels too derivative to make much of an impression, not to mention its themes create a conflict of interest in regards to dreams and one's own reality. This is definitely more for the kids but parents should just hold out and wait for it on Blu-Ray and DVD.

Final Rating: 2.5 out of 5

"No dream is too big and no dreamer too small."

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R.I.P.D. 3D Review

Rated PG-13 (Violence, Sci-Fi/Fantasy Action, Some Sensuality, and Language including Sex References)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 36 Minutes

Cast-

Jeff Bridges-Roy Pulsipher

Ryan Reynolds-Nick Walker

Kevin Bacon-Bobby Hayes

Mary-Louise Parker-Mildred Proctor

Stephanie Szostak-Julia Walker

Robert Knepper-Stanley Nawlicki

James Hong-Jerry Chen/Nick's Avatar

Marisa Miller-Opal Pavlenko/Roy's Avatar

Mike O'Malley-Elliot

Devin Ratray-Pulaski

Directed by Robert Schwentke

"R.I.P.D."--another in a long line of ill-fated comic book films.

Note: Screened on Thursday, July 18, 2013 at Regal E-Walk Stadium 13.

Comic book films rake in billions of dollars worldwide year after year but that doesn't mean Hollywood should go and adapt every comic book property for the big-screen. Looking back, was 2005's "Elektra" really necessary? Who in their right minds was expecting that film to gross $100 million, especially in January?! Such is the case for "R.I.P.D.," based on the 1999 mini-series created by Peter Lenkov and published by Dark Horse Comics, whose film division hasn't enjoyed the best track record compared to their more famous competitors. 2004's "Hellboy" and its 2008 sequel stands as one of their biggest successes but then you have 1999's "Virus" and 2005's horrid "Son of the Mask," widely considered to be one of the worst films ever made. Dumped into theaters with little to no fanfare, "R.I.P.D." occasionally stirs to life thanks to Jeff Bridges' lively performance but Robert Schwentke's film is pretty much dead on arrival with its bland script, flat comedy, and subpar action scenes.

Wanting to secure a better financial future with his wife Julia (Stephanie Szostak), Boston police officer Nick Walker (Ryan Reynolds) and his longtime partner Bobby Hayes (Kevin Bacon) pilfer a cache of gold during a drug bust but Nick's guilt gets the better of him and he makes it clear to Bobby that he no longer wants to steal anymore. The two are soon called in to take part in a massive raid against a meth operation but Bobby double-crosses Nick and guns him down in cold-blood while the other officers are engaged in a shootout with the drug dealers. Nick dies and is whisked away upward to the afterlife, where he is given a choice by Mildred Proctor (Mary-Louise Parker): join the R.I.P.D. (the Rest in Peace Department) for one-hundred years or risk judgment from the 'Big Guy' upstairs. Seeing this as a chance to reunite with his wife, Nick readily chooses the former and is paired with veteran R.I.P.D. officer Roy Pulsipher (Jeff Bridges), a former lawman from the 1800's. Roy begins to show Nick the ropes and fills him in on taking out 'Deados,' troubled souls who have remained trapped on Earth instead of moving on to Heaven or Hell. As Nick slowly gets used to his new existence, he and Roy uncover a plot involving Hayes that could spell doom for the entire world if his plans succeed.

"R.I.P.D." is one of those films that will leave you wondering how it even got made in the first place. Director Robert Schwentke tries to recapture the humorous, irreverent tone of 1997's "Men in Black" but he stumbles out of the gate from the very first scene as audiences are greeted by a poorly-rendered CG ghoul jumping around while our two lead characters give chase. Cribbing from Barry Sonnenfeld's film as well as 1984's "Ghostbusters," the central premise revolves around dead law enforcement officers who find themselves recruited in the afterlife by a police force calling itself the R.I.P.D. Each new recruit is given a minimum term of service of one-hundred years and are tasked with either capturing or killing renegade souls that have evaded judgment. As derivative as that sounds, I'll admit to being intrigued but the end result is a lumbering bore that wheezes from scene to scene despite its brief 96 minute running time. There are some amusing flourishes, such as the R.I.P.D. headquarters being populated with officers from different eras and that their method of travel to the real world is through a portable toilet, which exits out to a rundown VCR repair store. The 'Deados' they capture are revealed through a series of bizarre questions or by exposing them to cumin (I'm not even kidding here). However, people from the real world perceive the officers differently, with Nick looking like an elderly Asian man (played by the great James Hong) while Roy resembles a Victoria's Secret model (Marisa Miller). This unusual setup is funny the first time but it quickly wears out its welcome and most of the jokes are just too stale to garner any laughs.

The script from Phil Hay and Matt Manfredi (whose previous credits include 2005's "Æon Flux" and 2010's "Clash of the Titans") is content with recycling the same old buddy cop clichés where Roy treats his new partner with disdain due to his lack of experience, forcing Nick to prove himself to the veteran. Now, these are issues that can be overcome if the two leads have a good rapport with each other but that's unfortunately not the case. Ryan Reynolds plays one of the blandest protagonists I've ever witnessed and looks completely bored throughout the film. Jeff Bridges manages to add some life to the proceedings with his hammy performance as Roy Pulsipher. The Academy Award winner is pretty much parodying his own role as Rooster Cogburn from 2010's "True Grit" and genuinely seems to be having fun; it's just too bad that he's saddled with the dead weight that is Reynolds. The rest of the cast is also a mixed bag. Kevin Bacon speaks with this awful Boston accent while Stephanie Szostak is reduced to being the damsel-in-distress. Mary-Louise Parker lands a few solid laughs as Mildred Proctor, the R.I.P.D.'s no-nonsense personal manager. It makes you wish that the film focused on her and Bridges' characters instead.

Although its production budget is listed as $130 million, it doesn't seem like Schwentke put it to good use. The ghoulish 'Deados' that the R.I.P.D. battles with is frequently marred by poor CG work and the finale makes the film look like something out of the SyFy channel. Hell, I was almost expecting a shark to come leaping out of those whirling portals! The 3D conversion is also rather shoddy and was apparently done in only five months. There are moments where there's a noticeable sense of depth, particularly with scenes involving lots of dust or debris but the image is literally flat for most of its running time. You could actually just take off your glasses and watch the film without them since the amount of blur is very minimal, almost to the point of being non-existent.

Released on July 19, 2013, "R.I.P.D." has received overwhelmingly negative reviews with 15% on Rotten Tomatoes. Universal was hiding the film until the very last minute and it was screened for critics mere hours before its official release. Their consensus: 'it has its moments—most of them courtesy of Jeff Bridges' rootin' tootin' performance as an undead Wild West sheriff—but [the film] is ultimately too dim-witted and formulaic to satisfy.' Due to a weak marketing campaign, it's pretty much guaranteed to be a box office flop this weekend, with Universal standing to lose a bundle of money on this one. Made without any passion or energy, "R.I.P.D." is a waste of time for everyone and it's a real shame that the studio chose to waste $130 million on this crap rather than invest in something better.

Final Rating: 2 out of 5

"We are the greatest law men that ever lived and died. Now, some souls hide out among the living. Here's the deal. Our job is catching bad souls that escaped the afterlife. Bag it, tag it and bury it deep."

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Red 2 Review

Rated PG-13 (Pervasive Action and Violence including Frenetic Gunplay, and for Some Language and Drug Material)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 56 Minutes

Cast-

Bruce Willis-Frank Moses

John Malkovich-Marvin Boggs

Mary-Louise Parker-Sarah Ross

Helen Mirren-Victoria

Byung-Hun Lee-Han Cho Bai

Catherine Zeta-Jones-Katja

Anthony Hopkins-Edward Bailey

Brian Cox-Ivan Simanov

Neal McDonough-Jack Horton

David Thewlis-The Frog

Tim Pigott-Smith-Director Philips

Directed by Dean Parisot

"I don't understand, my porn magazines are supposed to be in this briefcase!"

Note: Screened on Friday, June 21, 2013 at AMC Empire 25.

Growing old can be tough for some people, unless you're a former black-ops CIA agent. Loosely based on Warren Ellis and Cully Hamner's 2003 limited series of the same name  published by DC Comics\Wildstorm under the imprint Homage, director Robert Schwentke's "Red" went on to become a surprise sleeper hit when it was released back in 2010. With largely positive reviews (72% on Rotten Tomatoes), a nearly $200 million worldwide gross, and even a Best Picture nomination at the Golden Globes, the announcement of a sequel didn't really come as a shock to anyone. In fact, Summit Entertainment is so confident about the success of "Red 2" that they've already green-lit a third installment, something that is becoming increasingly common in Hollywood. Warner Brothers must be pretty miffed for repeatedly passing on the project and what's ironic is that Summit actually wanted to bring the studio in as a partner to mitigate the financial risk but they just weren't interested. "Red 2" arrives on one of the busiest weekends of the summer, with three other releases vying for box office dominance. With another comic book film (Marvel's "The Wolverine") arriving a week later, it could put a damper on Summit's prospects for a new ongoing franchise to replace "Twilight" but the studio is sticking to their guns. Although it lacks the novelty and freshness of the original, "Red 2" remains an enjoyable summer romp thanks to the easy rapport of its all-star cast.

Finally free to indulge his domestic instincts, retired black-ops CIA agent Frank Moses (Bruce Willis) settles down to lead a normal life with former GSA customer service agent Sarah Ross (Mary-Louise Parker) but is pulled back into the field when paranoid conspiracy theorist Marvin Boggs (John Malkovich) unexpectedly shows up with dire warnings of a plot to take them out. Although Frank is initially dismissive of his friend's wild claims, he quickly changes his tune when Marvin is seemingly killed by a car bomb. After attending Marvin's funeral, Frank is dragged in for questioning by Pentagon official Jack Horton (Neal McDonough), who demands him to reveal what he knows about a Cold War nuclear device dubbed 'Nightshade.' Marvin shows up to rescue Frank at the last minute, having faked his own death to no one's surprise. With Sarah once again tagging along, the two former CIA spooks embark on a globe-trotting adventure to find the nuclear device and its brilliant creator, Dr. Edward Bailey (Anthony Hopkins). Meanwhile, the Pentagon, MI6, and the Kremlin dispatch their own agents after them in order to locate the coveted device: ruthless contract killer Han Cho Bai (Byung-Hun Lee), former assassin Victoria (Helen Mirren), and Frank's former flame Katja (Catherine Zeta-Jones).

Some films don't aspire to be anything more than fun, breezy entertainment and "Red 2" definitely fits that bill as the script from returning writers Jon and Erich Hoeber retain its predecessor's lighthearted, tongue-in-cheek tone. The narrative is on the simplistic side and amounts to being an international road trip but the busy storytelling lends the picture a cluttered, overstuffed feel. There are twists galore yet they're largely dumped onto the audience without much fanfare, with many characters often changing allegiances at the drop of a hat. Obviously, none of it is really meant to be taken seriously. When one character is busy gabbing away on the telephone while absent-mindedly dissolving a corpse in acid like it's their laundry, how could you?

Like the original film, it's the characters that elevate "Red 2" from being another ho-hum action comedy. When we reunite with Frank Moses, he's happily shopping in Costco with the love of his life, Sarah Ross. However, their domestic bliss is an illusion as Sarah misses the dangerous excitement that brought them together in the first place. She greets Marvin Boggs' warnings with wide-eyed enthusiasm but Frank is adamant about leading a quieter life. Of course, he's soon forced to come out of retirement (again!) after learning that he's on Interpol's hit list and one of the more amusing subplots is Frank's obsession with protecting Sarah even as she tries to ingratiate herself into the spy lifestyle. You see, Sarah has an itch for guns but shies away from the more unsavory aspects of Frank's skill set—like torture. There's a funny scene where Frank, Marvin, and Katja are about to torture an assassin with a penchant for fine wine called 'the Frog' (David Thewlis) but Sarah can't bear to watch and tells them to stop. She instead nicely asks the Frog to reveal what he knows before just full-blown making out with him. In fact, this becomes a running gag whenever Sarah is put into a stressful situation. The tension that she shares with the aforementioned Katja also provides a number of laughs. During a car chase with the Frog on the streets of Paris, the two women actually compete with each other to see who can get to him first! In keeping with the film's loose tone, director Dean Parisot (replacing Robert Schwentke) uses stylized graphic-novel illustrations (colored in red and black) when transitioning from one locale to the next. It reinforces "Red 2" as one giant cartoon that just happens to star a couple of Academy Award winners.

Speaking of those Academy Award winners, the big name cast continues to be the main draw for this burgeoning comic book franchise. Although he's a little too reliant on his trademark smirk, Bruce Willis is still fun to watch as the increasingly grouchy ex-CIA agent who can't quite keep up with his younger girlfriend. Continuing to steal the film is John Malkovich as the highly eccentric Marvin Boggs. You'd never expect a guy like him to give relationship advice to his best friend! Mary-Louise Parker enjoys an expanded role this time around, where she earns some of the film's best laughs thanks to her character's bumbling demeanor. A large part of why "Red" became such a hit was the novelty of seeing accomplished thespians like Helen Mirren running across the screen with machine guns-blazing. While that novelty has slightly worn off, seeing Mirren blasting away bad guys with such deadpan seriousness will never go out of style. Joining this already amazing cast is Catherine Zeta-Jones, who's clearly enjoying herself as the sultry femme fatale while South Korean actor Byung-Hun Lee (Storm Shadow!) continues to show off his action chops, squaring off against Willis in one of the film's more notable fight scenes. Also having fun stepping outside the box is Anthony Hopkins as the perennially distracted scientist Edward Bailey.

To be released on July 19, 2013, the initial buzz for "Red 2" hasn't been all that positive and I have a feeling it might land in the 40% range on Rotten Tomatoes. Given how crowded the summer market is right now, the film will likely struggle to find an audience at the box office, which would put the third installment's future in jeopardy. Ironically, it's competing against Robert Schwentke's "R.I.P.D.," another comic book adaptation that also happens to star Mary-Louise Parker. The story is paper-thin and a bit of a mess but "Red 2" manages to fulfill its sequel duties as goofy summer escapism. I sure hope my life is this exciting when I'm retired!

Final Rating: 3.5 out of 5

"What happens in the Kremlin stays in the Kremlin."

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