As Above, So Below Review

Rated R (Bloody Violence/Terror, and Language Throughout)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 33 Minutes

Cast-

Perdita Weeks-Scarlett Marlowe

Ben Feldman-George

Edwin Hodge-Benji

François Civil-Papillon

Marion Lambert-Souxie

Ali Marhyar-Zed

Roger Van Hool-Mr. Marlowe/Scarlett's Father

Cosme Castro-La Taupe

Hamid Djavadan-Reza

Théo Cholbi-Gloomy Teenager

Olivia Csiky Trnka-Strange Young Woman

Hellyette Bess-Strange Old Woman

Samuel Aouizerate-Danny

Emy Lévy-Tour Guide

Kaya Blocksage-Female Curator

Directed by John Erick Dowdle

A group of explorers find themselves trapped in the found-footage horror film "As Above, So Below."

Note: Screened on Wednesday, August 13, 2014 at AMC Loews 34th Street 14.

You may not realize it but when you walk the streets of Paris, France, you're actually walking across the skeletal remains of approximately six to seven million people. Dating back to the late eighteenth century, the Catacombes de Paris—located at Place Denfert-Rochereau in the Montparnasse district—are underground ossuaries that house the aforementioned skeletal remains, which were gradually relocated from a number of overpopulated graveyards such as the condemned Holy Innocents' Cemetery. With two hundred miles of tunnels and a depth of just over sixty-five feet (the equivalent of a five-story building), this meticulously arranged, macabre tableau of death would make for a fantastic setting for a horror film. Writer/director John Erick Dowdle (whose previous credits include the little-seen "The Poughkeepsie Tapes," "Devil," and "[REC]" remake "Quarantine") and his younger brother, co-writer Drew Dowdle, apparently had the same idea and have set their late-summer found-footage horror flick "As Above, So Below" in the foreboding passageways of the Paris Catacombs. The fact that they were actually permitted by the French government to shoot in the off-limit areas is a major plus because we've never really seen such a unique locale used in a feature film before. While the novelty of its real-world setting proves to be the only aspect that "As Above, So Below" has going for, the Dowdle brothers utilize it effectively, creating a creepily claustrophobic atmosphere to make up for their film's rudimentary scares and lacking script.

Following in the footsteps of her late father, brilliant archeologist Scarlett Marlowe (Perdita Weeks) has spent much of her career obsessively searching for a fabled artifact called the 'Philosopher's Stone,' which was created by legendary French alchemist Nicolas Flamel and is said to be able to turn metal into gold as well as grant a person eternal life. After finding a map of the stone's location in a hidden catacomb in Iran, Scarlett heads to Paris, France in order to recruit old flame George (Ben Feldman) to help with translations. They determine that the stone is hidden somewhere in the catacombs underneath Paris. Enlisting the aid of a group of knowledgeable 'cataphiles'—Papillon (François Civil), Souxie (Marion Lambert), and Zed (Ali Marhyar)—Scarlett enters the catacombs through a restricted entrance with faithful documentarian Benji (Edwin Hodge) and a reluctant George in tow. As the group descends further and further, they find themselves experiencing surreal events that draw them deeper underground, with each member being forced to confront their personal demons. Escape and survival become uncertain as they advance toward what seems to be the gates of Hell.

Dowdle does a great job utilizing the Paris Catacombs to sustain an atmosphere of dread in his latest film but the story is unfortunately lacking.

It's no secret that many critics aren't particularly fond of found-footage horror films but John Erick Dowdle's "As Above, So Below" is one of the better entries in this worn-out subgenre. The reason for this is solely due to the setting. In fact, I'm surprised that there hasn't been a film set in the Paris Catacombs before. Just the thought of being trapped underground surrounded by the skeletal remains of six to seven million people is already sending chills down my spine (hell, a teenage girl actually died after she got lost in the catacombs in Odessa, Ukraine!). Dowdle and his cinematographer Léo Hinstin do a great job in capturing the fear of being in a confined area with nowhere to run. There's a scene where Scarlett and the rest of the group have to crawl through a tight space filled with bones. Benji, the documentarian, becomes trapped and the sheer terror on his face will give nightmares to even the mildest of claustrophobics. The first half of the film is by far the strongest thanks to the creepy little details that Dowdle adds during the characters' slow descent through the catacombs. A telephone eerily ringing in the distance, the sudden appearance of a dusty piano, a strange cult of women singing in a hair-raising chant, these elements all contribute to a pervasive sense of dread but atmosphere can only get you so far.

"Abandon all hope, ye who enter here."

Where "As Above, So Below" falters is in the script as it feels like Dowdle and his younger brother didn't think their ideas through and simply tossed them all into the film without any thought to narrative coherence whatsoever. Without the necessary explanations to make sense of it, the third act turns into an incomprehensible mess, with reveals being so rushed that the audience is unable to feel their full impact. It's obvious that the Dowdle brothers wanted their story to have some sort of emotional catharsis with their depiction of a Dante-esque Hell that forces people to confront their personal demons (in addition to actual demons popping out of the walls) yet it doesn't work because the character development just isn't strong enough. The cast try their best, with Welsh actress Perdita Weeks making for an engaging protagonist as the wonderfully named Scarlett Marlowe, who's an amalgamation of Lara Croft and Indiana Jones. Ben Feldman, from AMC's "Mad Men," delivers a solid performance as well. Unfortunately, the remaining cast members—Edwin Hodge, François Civil, Marion Lambert, and Ali Marhyar—don't bring much to the table and are only there to support the found-footage conceit. "As Above, So Below" could've been a much stronger horror film if it was shot traditionally, using careful composition to sustain its creepy atmosphere instead of devolving into annoying shaky-cam.   

Released on August 29, 2014, "As Above, So Below" has received predominantly negative reviews with 33% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics agreed that the film had an 'intriguing setup' but the use of found-footage sent it plummeting toward 'clichéd mediocrity.' This hasn't exactly been a great year for the found-footage subgenre, with "Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones" and "Devil's Due" either flopping or flaming out quickly at the domestic box office. "As Above, So Below" is facing a similar situation as it barely made it over $10 million during Labor Day weekend. With weak word-of-mouth from audiences, the film is going to drop like a rock from here. Still, I don't feel this is particularly bad horror flick. The novel setting is at least worth a matinee viewing and is just enough to push it into passable territory but without a strong script, that's all "As Above, So Below" has going for itself.

Final Rating: 3 out of 5

"'Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.' According to mythology, that is the inscription over the Gates of Hell."

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The November Man Review

Rated R (Strong Violence including a Sexual Assault, Language, Sexuality/Nudity and Brief Drug Use)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 48 Minutes

Cast-

Pierce Brosnan-Peter Devereaux

Luke Bracey-David Mason

Olga Kurylenko-Alice Fournier

Bill Smitrovich-John Hanley

Lazar Ristovski-Arkady Federov

Mediha Musliovic-Natalia Ulanova

Will Patton-Perry Weinstein

Caterina Scorsone-Celia

Eliza Taylor-Sarah

Amila Terzimehic-Alexa

Akie Kotabe-Meyers

Patrick Kennedy-Edgar Simpson

Dragan Marinkovic-Denisov

Ben Willens-Agent Jones

Tara Jevrosimovic-Lucy

Nina Mrdja-Mira Filipova

Directed by Roger Donaldson

Pierce Brosnan...he's still got it.

Note: Screened on Tuesday, August 26, 2014 at AMC Loews Lincoln Square 13.

Well, isn't this ironic? A former James Bond returns to the big screen in a very Bond-like role—albeit one that's darker and grittier—and is even joined by a former Bond girl! I love Daniel Craig as Bond and he's done a fantastic job in the three films he's done so far but Pierce Brosnan will always hold a special place in my heart because he was the Bond that I grew up watching. Following the box office failure of "Licence to Kill" in 1989, Bond seemed all but dead, with the long-running franchise lying dormant for six years until Brosnan came along and brought the famous British spy back to life with 1995's "GoldenEye." Brosnan's tenure is well regarded amongst fans, although he never made a Bond film as good as the first one despite each successive installment earning more money than the last. 1997's "Tomorrow Never Dies" and 1999's "The World Is Not Enough" was hampered by forgettable scripts, substandard villains, and excessive product placement while 2002's "Die Another Day" sunk under a deluge of dodgy CG effects and silly gadgets, necessitating a series reboot with 2006's "Casino Royale." Brosnan's post-Bond career is littered with failed prestige projects and mid-budget Hollywood claptrap, with the only film of note being the 2008 musical hit "Mamma Mia!," where the Irish actor delivered a singing performance so bad you can't help but be transfixed. Since he's not getting any younger, Brosnan is returning to what he does best: being a spy in Roger Donaldson's "The November Man." Despite the edgier material, Brosnan remains as suave and charismatic as ever yet even he can't save this late-summer spy thriller from a maddeningly convoluted and cliché-ridden script.

Veteran CIA agent Peter Devereaux (Pierce Brosnan) is placed in charge of brash trainee David Mason (Luke Bracey) but after a mission in Montenegro goes wrong and results in the death of a young innocent bystander, Devereaux severs his ties with the agency and goes into quiet retirement in Switzerland. Five years later, the disillusioned ex-spy is pulled back into the game by his old CIA handler John Hanley (Bill Smitrovich), who wants him to secretly assist with the exfiltration of a Russian informant named Natalia Ulanova (Mediha Musliovic). This informant—who just so happens to be Devereaux's former flame—has incriminating evidence on Russian President-elect Arkady Federov (Lazar Ristovski). However, Natalia is shot dead by Mason under orders from the CIA, forcing a distraught Devereaux to go rogue. Meanwhile, Federov is silencing anyone with knowledge of the atrocities he committed as a general in the Second Chechen War and sends an assassin (Amila Terzimehic) to eliminate Alice Fournier (Olga Kurylenko), a social worker who once helped Mira Filipova, Federov's underage sex slave. Devereaux's quest for answers leads to Fournier. As the two go on the run, Mason is ordered by CIA higher-up Perry Weinstein (Will Patton) to terminate his former mentor.

How's this for ironic: a former Bond is joined by a former Bond girl!

Serving as producer as well as star, "The November Man" represents Pierce Brosnan's attempt to jumpstart a new spy franchise and revitalize his career, which has slowed down quite a bit since he last portrayed James Bond twelve years ago (damn, has it been that long?) in "Die Another Day." Hell, Relativity Media is apparently so confident that they've already greenlit a sequel last week! Whether that will come to pass remains to be seen but Brosnan could be in for a lucrative run if the film does do well at the box office as "The November Man" is based on Bill Granger's popular novel series of the same name, specifically the seventh book There Are No Spies published back in 1987. With a total of thirteen installments, there's plenty of source material for filmmakers to draw from, affording future sequels the opportunity to improve upon Granger's material because as it stands now, this potential franchise starter is a thoroughly mediocre affair.

Written by Michael Finch and Karl Gajdusek, the story is rife with espionage clichés as Peter Devereaux is shown to be one of those retired spies who are pulled back into action for 'One Last Mission,' as they usually do in films based on what is essentially a series of disposable airport novels. The plot is a convoluted mess, with twist after twist being doled out without rhyme or reason. With a volatile agent pulled from retirement and subsequently going rogue, a former student ordered to terminate his mentor, an unassuming woman with secrets of her own, a badass female assassin, and a conspiratorial web spanning the CIA and the Russian government, "The November Man" has a lot going on but none of it ever coheres. It's just a hodgepodge of plot elements that are strung together by coincidences. The film also takes a turn for the worse when it begins delving into sexual abuse and human trafficking. Roger Donaldson, who previously worked with Brosnan on the 1997 disaster flick "Dante's Peak," has proven himself to be a solid director (the cheesy 1995 sci-fi/horror film "Species" remains a favorite of mine and I enjoyed 2003's "The Recruit") but he's pretty much running on autopilot here. This is a visually nondescript film shot in nondescript locations with nondescript action scenes that consist of Devereaux popping out around the corner and beaning people in the face. When a fight scene does finally happen, it's shot in a shaky and choppy manner in order to hide Brosnan's stunt-double. Given that "The November Man" comes straight out of Brosnan's own production company and that it was a longtime passion project for him, I expected better, or at the very least something enjoyable.

Luke Bracey is the very definition of bland.

If there's one reason to watch this film, it's Pierce Brosnan. He may be sixty-one years old but Brosnan's still got that suave, charismatic swagger that we all fell in love with nineteen years ago in "GoldenEye." Unfortunately, his character Peter Devereaux is written in a wildly inconsistent manner in an attempt to explore the moral grey area that many a spy inhabits. One minute he's decrying the death of innocents and the next he's holding a woman hostage, slicing her leg open in order to prove a point to his former student Mason. It's a shame because Brosnan is clearly committed, even though some of the profane dialogue he's given feels forced. Luke Bracey, who's currently shooting the "Point Break" remake and whose most well-known role to date is Cobra Commander in last year's "G.I. Joe: Retaliation," is the definition of bland. The only highlight with Bracey is when his character trades verbal barbs with Devereaux during a chase scene. The beautiful Olga Kurylenko, who played a Bond girl in 2008's "Quantum of Solace," is fine despite being saddled with a thankless role. Everyone else—Bill Smitrovich, Caterina Scorsone, Lazar Ristovski, Will Patton, and Eliza Taylor—range from adequate to forgettable.

Released on August 27, 2014, "The November Man" has received largely negative reviews with 36% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics called it 'disappointing that [the film] falls back on dull genre clichés' despite bearing 'a few of the ingredients necessary for a better-than-average spy thriller.' Relativity Media is obviously hoping for the film to do well at the box office but I don't really see that happening given its release date. Labor Day weekend has always been the worst long weekend of the year. It's nice to see Pierce Brosnan back in spy mode but "The November Man" is simply too dull and generic to start the franchise it so desires. The only praise I can give is that there are worse films out there.

Final Rating: 2 out of 5

"Peter Devereaux, you know what we used to call you? The November Man, 'cause after you passed through, nothing lived."

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If I Stay Review

Rated PG-13 (Thematic Elements and Some Sexual Material)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 46 Minutes

Cast-

Chloë Grace Moretz-Mia Hall

Jamie Blackley-Adam Wilde

Mireille Enos-Kat Hall

Joshua Leonard-Denny Hall

Jakob Davies-Teddy Hall

Stacy Keach-Gramps

Gabrielle Rose-Gran

Liana Liberato-Kim

Lauren Lee Smith-Willow

Adam Solomonian-Henry

Chelah Horsdal-Liddy

Arielle Tuliao-Astrid

Aisha Hinds-Nurse Ramirez

Gabrielle Cerys Haslett-Young Mia Hall

Directed by R.J. Cutler

Ah, young love.

Note: Screened on Wednesday, August 20, 2014 at Regal E-Walk Stadium 13.

Another week, another film based on a best-selling young adult novel. Published back in 2009, Gayle Forman's If I Stay was once touted as 'the next Twilight' when the film rights were snatched up by Summit Entertainment—before the book was even released on store shelves (an increasingly common trend nowadays). Catherine Hardwicke, who brought Stephenie Meyer's first Twilight novel to the big screen in 2008, signed on to direct but she left the project in 2010 to helm Warner Brothers' "Red Riding Hood" instead. Development on the "If I Stay" film further stalled when Hollywood began focusing on adapting all the dystopian and paranormal YA bestsellers it could get its hands on, like "The Hunger Games," "Divergent," "The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones," "Beautiful Creatures," and "Vampire Academy." Meanwhile, Brazilian director Heitor Dhalia—whose previous credits include 2009's "À Deriva" starring Camilla Belle and Vincent Cassel—replaced Hardwicke. Dakota Fanning was in talks to play the main character in Forman's novel but she and Dhalia eventually dropped out as well. The project found a new home with MGM when Summit put it into turnaround last June, with Warner Brothers coming on board earlier this year. Chloë Grace Moretz was officially cast in the lead role while documentarian R.J. Cutler was announced as the new director in what would be his narrative feature debut. Whatever made Forman's novel so special seems to have been lost in the five years it took for the film adaptation to arrive on the big screen. The target audience will devour "If I Stay" like 'a bowl of soup waiting for them on a cold and stormy evening' (Sean O'Connell, Cinema Blend) but for the rest of us, there's little to latch onto besides Moretz's luminous performance.

Months away from graduating high school, seventeen-year-old cello prodigy Mia Hall (Chloë Grace Moretz) is anxiously sitting at home on a snow day while awaiting word on whether or not she's been accepted into Juilliard. Her relationship with sensitive rocker boyfriend Adam Wilde (Jamie Blackley) has also become distant since he's been away on tour. Refusing to leave their daughter to mope around anticipating the mail all day, Mia's parents Kat and Denny (Mireille Enos and Joshua Leonard) convinces her to tag along with them and her little brother Teddy (Jakob Davies) for a drive despite the inclement conditions. While on their way to visit longtime family friends Willow and Henry (Lauren Lee Smith and Adam Solomonian) and their new baby, the Hall's car is struck head-on by an out-of-control vehicle on an icy Portland road. As emergency workers rush onto the scene to treat the victims, Mia finds herself having an out-of-body experience. Unable to be seen or heard by anyone, the teenager can only watch as doctors frantically work to save her comatose physical body while Adam, her grandparents (Stacy Keach and Gabrielle Rose), and best friend Kim (Liana Liberato) struggle with the thought of losing her. With her parents and younger brother's survival in doubt, Mia must decide whether to let herself die or return to the world of the living, knowing that her life will never be the same.

Run, Chloe, run!

R.J. Cutler's "If I Stay" plays to the same crowd that adored June's well-received box office hit "The Fault in Our Stars" but it pales in comparison to Josh Boone's big screen adaptation of John Green's critically-acclaimed 2012 novel, which was smarter, better written, and earned its tears. It also had a pair of strong leads with Shailene Woodley and Ansel Elgort. Their impeccable on-screen chemistry with each other is the biggest reason why many critics were so taken with Boone's film. These teen-oriented tearjerkers only work if you can invest in the main characters and that's one of the issues with "If I Stay" as I never really felt that special 'spark' between Chloë Grace Moretz and Jamie Blackley. Now I'm not saying they gave bad performances. In fact, Moretz is fantastic as Mia but Blackley's Adam unfortunately comes across as stiff and wooden when compared to his co-star. Part of the problem lies with Shauna Cross' dialogue, which is full of syrupy declarations of love like the 'you who are tonight is the same you I was in love with yesterday, the same you I'll be in love with tomorrow.' That's quite a lot of yous in that sentence! While this might've worked in Gayle Forman's book, it sounds rather silly when said out-loud because…well, no one actually talks like that in real life.

This leads into another issue: none of the characters ever feel like real people. Adam is completely devoted to Mia. He's a true gentleman despite his bad-boy exterior, and is always understanding and never neglectful. Adam is pretty much THE perfect boyfriend…except for a few instances where the plot forces him into spasms of dickitude. Mia's ex-punk rocker parents are similarly perfect. They're hip and super-cool, a fact that the film is very keen to remind you of as Kat and Denny constantly namedrop famous past rockers like Alice Cooper and Iggy Pop into their conversations. They even encourage their daughter to stay out late at one point! Look, it's great that they're so carefree but their behavior soon becomes a little insufferable and you wonder when they're going to start acting like real parents, and set some rules and boundaries. You can argue that everyone has to be perfect so that Mia is reminded of all she's lost while her spirit hovers over her comatose body yet this approach to loss comes across as manipulative and it prevents viewers from identifying with anyone. Even with its dour subject matter, "If I Stay" never presents any real challenge to any of its characters. Vulture's Bilge Ebiri says it best in his review: 'More often than not, stories and characters we're invested in come from messier places; it's the rough edges of our lives that make us more interesting and human.' Since no one in Cutler's film feels real, you're unable to emotionally invest in Mia's predicament.

It tries its best but "If I Stay" never quite brings the feels.

If there's one reason to watch "If I Stay," it's Chloë Grace Moretz. From the superheroine Hit-Girl in "Kick-Ass" to lonely vampire Abby in "Let Me In," the seventeen-year-old actress has always had an eclectic taste in film roles. Despite being saddled with a melodramatic script, Moretz manages to bring a soulful humanity to Mia while also capturing the thrill and heartbreak that comes with experiencing your first love as a youth. I may not be able to relate to her character but her performance remains impressive thanks to her strong commitment to the role. However, I can't say the same for Jamie Blackley, who seems to have been cast more for his looks. Although Blackley's not terrible per se, he's just too bland to make much of an impression. As Mia's parents, Mireille Enos and Joshua Leonard provide some amusing moments but as mentioned previously, their characters are not real people. Stacy Keach, on the other hand, is a standout alongside Moretz. He has the most heartfelt scene in the film when his character sits at his granddaughter's bedside and tearfully says to her that it's okay to 'let go.' Keach's incredibly moving performance is raw and emotionally honest, and you wish the rest of "If I Stay" lived up to that single scene instead of wallowing in cloying sentimentalism.

Released on August 22, 2014, "If I Stay" has received mixed reviews with 41% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics praised Chloë Grace Moretz's performance but found the film 'more manipulative than moving.' However, the target audience won't care. They'll eat it up, as evidenced by the audible sniffles at the advance screening I attended. "If I Stay" also had a solid debut at the weekend box office with $16.4 million. Films based on a young adult novel are usually very front-loaded so it'll likely top out around $40 million. It's a far cry from "The Fault in Our Stars" but "If I Stay" isn't a terrible film thanks to Moretz's presence. Unfortunately, it never quite hits its emotional mark.

Final Rating: 2.5 out of 5

"Sometimes you make choices in life and sometimes choices make you."

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Let's Be Cops Review

Rated R (Language including Sexual References, Some Graphic Nudity, Violence and Drug Use)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 44 Minutes

Cast-

Jake Johnson-Ryan O'Malley

Damon Wayans Jr.-Justin Miller

Nina Dobrev-Josie

James D'Arcy-Mossi Kasic

Rob Riggle-Officer Segars

Keegan-Michael Key-Pupa

Andy Garcia-Detective Brolin

Natasha Leggero-Annie

Jonathan Lajoie-Todd Cutler

Tom Mardirosian-Georgie

Joshua Ormond-Little Joey

Directed by Luke Greenfield

Jake Johnson and Damon Wayans Jr. play a pair of thirty-year-old losers who go on a power trip as fake cops in Luke Greenfield's latest film "Let's Be Cops."

Note: Screened on Thursday, August 7, 2014 at Regal E-Walk Stadium 13.

Wow, talk about bad timing! Luke Greenfield's late-summer R-rated comedy "Let's Be Cops" is obviously an attempt by 20th Century Fox to capitalize on the box office successes of "21 Jump Street" and its recent sequel but the film—which revolves around fake cops using their fake authority to cause some real chaos—happened to open just as real cops declared war on the populace of Ferguson, Missouri, with the city currently mired in civil unrest after a white police officer shot and killed an unarmed black teenager. Given that the protests (and the police's wildly excessive response to said protests) began a little over twenty-four hours before the film's official release, there wasn't much that the studio could do anyway and in hindsight, it didn't even matter because "Let's Be Cops" debuted with a better-than-expected $17.8 million. That total gets bumped to $26.2 million since it opened on a Wednesday, which is impressive considering the film features no major stars. Such success can be attributed to 20th Century Fox's effective marketing campaign, which serves as a 'prime example of how a strong, simple, and easy-to-sell concept and a crowd-pleasing trailer can overcome pretty much every obstacle in the path to relative financial success' (Scott Mendelson, Forbes). It's true that "Let's Be Cops" features a fun premise but Greenfield doesn't quite deliver on its promise, with the film largely coasting by on the comedic chemistry of Jake Johnson and Damon Wayans Jr.

Long-time friends and roommates Ryan O'Malley (Jake Johnson) and Justin Miller (Damon Wayans Jr.) once made a pact stating that if they hadn't 'made it' in Los Angeles by the time they're thirty, they would move back to their hometown in Ohio. Both have already hit the big three-oh and everything sucks as Ryan is a washed-up college football player who's been living off his residual checks from a commercial for STD medication while Justin is a struggling video game designer with an annoying boss (Jonathan Lajoie). Donning police officer uniforms from one of Justin's failed video game pitches, the two head to their college reunion but discover that it's not a costume party as Ryan mistakenly believed, it's a masquerade ball. Worse, they're painfully made aware of their thirty-year-old loser status while mingling with their more successful former classmates. Ryan and Justin mutually agree to honor their pact while walking home but when they're mistaken as real cops, the two decide to live a little and enjoy the gag. Ryan, however, gets too carried away and begins researching police code words and procedures on YouTube. He even goes so far as to buy a decommissioned police cruiser on eBay! Meanwhile, Justin uses his fake uniform to woo his crush Josie (Nina Dobrev), the pretty waitress who works at a local diner. Unfortunately, Ryan and Justin's fake cop shenanigans attract the attention of Russian gangster Mossi Kasic (James D'Arcy). Without backup and even access to real guns, the two must now put their 'badges' on the line if they are to make it out alive.

Being a (fake) cop has its perks!

'You've been watching too many movies,' says a corrupt detective during a tense verbal standoff with Ryan, who's been investigating him despite the fact that he's not even a real cop. That same line can be applied to director/writer Luke Greenfield (no relation to actor Max Greenfield) and co-writer Nicholas Thomas as "Let's Be Cops" hits all the typical buddy cop tropes like its ticking off a checklist. The premise, which is blatantly spelled out on the poster's tagline, is admittedly clever but suffers from the same problem as last month's "Sex Tape": it feels more suited to a "Saturday Night Live" skit than a feature film. Although the comedy frequently panders to the lowest common denominator, the first half does boast some solid guffaws thanks to the irreverent, playful energy that Jake Johnson and Damon Wayans Jr. share. One scene had their characters responding to a domestic disturbance call at a sorority house and while it's filled with ghetto black women stereotypes and ouch-my-balls slapstick, I couldn't stop myself from laughing. Unfortunately, Greenfield never fully mines the film's premise to its full potential, with the Russian gangster subplot frequently getting in the way of the comedy in the second half. Things pick up once Keegan-Michael Key enters the picture as a crazed Jamaican named Pupa, who's been transporting illicit goods to Mossi. Key's appearance, along with a subsequent scene where Justin goes undercover as Pupa, delivers by far the biggest sustained laugh in the film. "Let's Be Cops" is at its funniest when it goes wacky and absurd but such moments are few and far between, with too many long stretches where there's nary a laugh to be found.

One of the film's highlights is Keegan-Michael Key as a crazed Jamaican named Pupa.

The sole saving grace to "Let's Be Cops" is Jake Johnson and Damon Wayans Jr., both of whom currently star on the television sitcom "New Girl" alongside Zooey Deschanel. Hell, you can ever consider Greenfield's film as an R-rated lost episode of the show! Johnson and Wayans Jr. are clearly having a lot of fun playing dress-up and their chemistry together is infectious. The two actors keep the film watchable even when the material they're given isn't quite up to par with their comedic talents. As mentioned before, Keegan-Michael Key breathes life into the latter half and it’s a shame that he exits the picture so quickly. Natasha Leggero is also a highlight as a sex-crazed vixen that's hot for Ryan. The rest of the supporting cast is a mixed bag with Nina Dobrev as charming but disposable love interest Josie and James D'Arcy (who bears an uncanny resemblance to Ethan Hawke here) coming off as weirdly out-of-place as brutal gangster Mossi Kasic. D'Arcy's performance feels suited to a more serious-minded cop flick. Rob Riggle briefly pops up in an odd straight-man role and finally, there's Andy Garcia, whose role I won't reveal since it's a spoiler but its clear the actor's only on hand to pick up a paycheck.

Released on August 13, 2014, "Let's Be Cops" has received abysmal reviews with a paltry 12% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics praised Jake Johnson and Damon Wayans Jr.'s comedic chemistry but bemoaned that the resulting film 'fails to do anything with it.' Although Greenfield's latest is far from being good, it's certainly not as bad as most critics are making it out to be. I also feel that the current civil unrest in Ferguson, Missouri colored the opinion of a small subset of reviewers. Ultimately, I don't think 20th Century Fox really cares as the film is already a moderate success and will likely top out around $50 to $55 million, three times its $17 million production budget. "Let's Be Cops" isn't terrible as it boasts some solid laughs and an appealing comedic pair with Jake Johnson and Damon Wayans Jr. but Greenfield could've taken the premise further instead of settling for easy slapstick and well-worn buddy cop tropes.

Final Rating: 2.5 out of 5

"I look like someone hit me in the face with Lil Wayne!"

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The Giver Review

Rated PG-13 (A Mature Thematic Image and Some Sci-Fi Action/Violence)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 34 Minutes

Cast-

Brenton Thwaites-Jonas

Jeff Bridges-The Giver

Odeya Rush-Fiona

Cameron Monaghan-Asher

Katie Holmes-Jonas' Mother

Alexander Skarsgård-Jonas' Father

Meryl Streep-Chief Elder

Taylor Swift-Rosemary

Emma Tremblay-Lilly

Alexander Jillings/James Jillings-Gabriel (Twelve Months)

Saige Fernandes-Gabriel (Six Months)

Jordan Nicholas Smal-Gabriel (Three Months)

Renate Stuurman-Dinah

Kira Wilkinson-Chief Elder's Assistant

Directed by Phillip Noyce

Lois Lowry's seminal novel The Giver finally arrives on the big screen.

Note: Screened on Monday, August 11, 2014 at the Ziegfeld Theater (Red Carpet Premiere).

Young adult novels—especially ones centered on strong-willed teenagers struggling against a bleak, oppressive dystopia—are currently all the rage in Hollywood alongside comic book superheroes. Given that we now live in an age where a book's film rights are often optioned out to a movie studio before said book even hits store shelves, it's rather shocking to see Lois Lowry's The Giver, one of the most popular and most cherished works in YA fiction, take over twenty years to arrive on the big screen. Published back in 1993, Lowry was inspired to write the novel when her elderly father began exhibiting signs of memory loss. She noticed that 'he was content, as he had forgotten every sad and scary event that he experienced, including…the death of his first child—[Lowry's] sister—at a young age.' This led her to 'think about the importance of memory and how one can manipulate it.' Over the course of two decades, Lowry's 1994 Newberry Medal-winning novel has sold nearly twelve million copies worldwide and has become a classroom staple in America. Not only did students enjoy reading the book when it was assigned, those that didn't have to read it willingly sought it out for themselves.

Actor Jeff Bridges has wanted to make a film adaptation of The Giver for eighteen years. He first came across the book while looking for material in which he could direct his father, Lloyd Bridges. Upon seeing the grizzled old man on the front cover, he thought to himself, 'Oh yeah, my dad can play that guy!' Bridges even went so far as to make a homemade movie with his father in the title role and his nephew Dylan—son of his older brother, Emmy Award-winning actor Beau Bridges—as main character Jonas (I hope this is included as an extra on the Blu-Ray release). Since the novel was so successful, Bridges believed that the film adaptation would be an easy sell in Hollywood. Unfortunately, that didn't turn out to be the case. First, films based on young adult novels weren't exactly in vogue at the time. Second, Lowry's book was incredibly controversial and was frequently banned in schools due to its mature themes. Third, the novel was very introspective, which made it difficult to translate on-screen. Difficult doesn't mean impossible and while it may have taken a lot longer than Bridges expected, "The Giver" has finally been released into theaters, courtesy of The Weinstein Company. However, the film would still be stuck in development hell if it weren't for the critical and commercial success of Lionsgate's "The Hunger Games" series, and therein lies the problem. Phillip Noyce's adaptation of Lowry's seminal novel is well-shot, well-written, and well-acted yet it can't help but feel derivative when its themes and setting have already been explored in the countless other books and films that have followed in its wake.

There's much more of an overt romance between Jonas and Fiona compared to the novel.

Following an undefined catastrophe in the future, society has rebuilt itself and eliminated all pain, fear, war, and hatred but this came at great personal cost as people—separated into 'communities' encased by distinct locational boundaries—must now follow a strict set of rules governing language, privacy, and honesty. A regimented daily injection prevents people from feeling any emotion—and, by extension, removes choice—and seeing any color. It is a society that lives in 'sameness' as everyone has identical homes, identical clothes, and an identical family structure. In one such community lives sixteen-year-old Jonas (Brenton Thwaites), who is about to participate in an annual ceremony in which he and his friends Fiona (Odeya Rush) and Asher (Cameron Monaghan) will be assigned a job by the Chief Elder (Meryl Streep) while workers who are past their prime retire to a place known as 'Elsewhere.' However, Jonas' job is no ordinary assignment as he has been chosen to become the 'Receiver of Memories.' Meeting the 'Giver' (Jeff Bridges) on the very edge of town, the young man is slowly given the collective memories of the past—both good and bad—through physical transference. Jonas soon begins to see the world in vivid color and experiences emotion, like love, for the first time. As he spends more time with the Giver, Jonas comes to realize that there is something seriously wrong with the community he lives in, putting him at odds with his parents (Katie Holmes and Alexander Skarsgård) and the Chief Elder.

Given how important color becomes in the dystopian world of "The Giver," it's only appropriate that the most immediately striking aspect of the film is the way it looks. Noyce and his team certainly put their tight budget (an estimated $25 million) to good use because the production design and art direction is simply fantastic. With its immaculately landscaped modular 'dwellings,' cleanly paved out-of-the-way roads, and geometric greenery, production designer Ed Verreaux has done a fine job in creating a society that's plausibly futuristic yet also emotionally suppressed. This sleek, antiseptic world is further enhanced by Ross Emery's black-and-white cinematography, which mirrors the way Jonas and the other residents in the community view everything around them. Emery takes a page out of Gary Ross' 1998 dramedy "Pleasantville" by showing occasional flourishes of color—Fiona's brunette hair, a red apple, a fleeting rainbow—but the film doesn't give way to color until the thirty-minute mark. When Jonas begins receiving the collective memories of the past, Noyce lets loose with vivid, hyper-realized montages that include well-known historical events like the Tiananmen Square protests and the fall of the Berlin Wall, as well as everyday acts of daring-do such as skydivers plummeting at dizzying heights or river rafters navigating raging rapids. Color represents life and vitality, and taken on purely visual terms, "The Giver" is a success.

I wish I can say the same for the film's story. Personally, I've never read Lowry's novel (it was never assigned to me in school) but I did familiarize myself with its general plotline before seeing Noyce's adaptation. Let me make this clear, there's nothing inherently wrong with the story itself. It's well-written as I mentioned in the beginning, and writers Michael Mitnick and Robert B. Weide have remained faithful to the source material's themes regarding the importance of memory and personal choice. Memory is what makes us who we are and without the collective experiences of our remembrances, our lives have no meaning and we might as well be mindless automatons. A person cannot truly appreciate joy without having felt pain as one cannot exist without the other. The film isn't exactly subtle when getting these ideas across, especially when it starts hammering home the power of capital-L Love, but the problem here is that they feel outdated and worse, derivative. This comes down to the unfortunate fact that Noyce's adaptation has arrived on screen after "The Hunger Games" and "Divergent" already mined such territory, albeit in slightly different ways. It's ironic because The Giver was published long before Suzanne Collins and Veronica Roth's books came out. Since audiences now expect a nice dose of action with these YA adaptations, this leads to the writers trying to 'amp up' a novel that's introspective at its core. Instead of Jonas simply taking baby Gabriel and setting off for Elsewhere, the film depicts it as a chase between the young man and the community's enforcers. It's obvious that Noyce and his writers tried their best in bringing Lowry's novel to the big screen. Unfortunately, their efforts are hurt by bad timing.

The presence of Jeff Bridges and Meryl Streep lend "The Giver" a prestige quality.

At least Noyce populated his film with on screen veterans like Jeff Bridges and Meryl Streep, lending the familiar material a prestige quality. He's not playing the 'hero' but Bridges is absolutely the star here. This is his long-time dream project and he gives it his all as the wise and philosophical Giver. The character is warm and generous yet is constantly burdened by the weight of holding all the memories of the past, a trait that Bridges excellently captures. 2014 has proven to be a banner year for up-and-coming Austrailian actor Brenton Thwaites as he's already starred in three films: "Oculus," "Maleficent," and "The Signal." As Jonas, Thwaites is quietly confident and doesn't overplay his character's unique situation while also managing to hold his own opposite Bridges and Streep. In fact, the film is at its strongest whenever it's focused on Jonas and the Giver, with Thwaites and Bridges' performances breathing life to the story's themes. The rest of the supporting cast is fine but the scant running time limits the development of their characters. Odeya Rush's Fiona is given an expanded role, because all YA adaptations must now contain a romance subplot while Cameron Monaghan's Asher is utilized in a tense stand-off in the third act. Katie Holmes and Alexander Skarsgård successfully convey the community's vapidity as Jonas' parents. Despite being saddled with a terrible wig, Meryl Streep is engaging as the authoritarian Chief Elder and finally, Taylor Swift doesn't embarrass herself in a glorified cameo as the Giver's daughter Rosemary.

Released on August 15, 2014, "The Giver" has received mixed-to-negative reviews with 31% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics noted that 'Phillip Noyce directs…with visual grace, but the movie doesn't dig deep enough into the classic source material's thought-provoking ideas.' Personally, I feel the film is being unfairly maligned because it's following in the wake of "The Hunger Games" and "Divergent." It's certainly a bit more contemplative and not as exciting to watch compared to the aforementioned big-screen adaptations but that's what makes "The Giver so refreshing—its simplicity. Unfortunately, Noyce's film failed to find much of an audience and debuted to a disappointing $12.8 million. While that's better than recent YA box office flops like "The Host," "The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones," and "Beautiful Creatures," that's not exactly saying much. This is probably the best adaptation we're going to get of Lowry's celebrated novel. It's just a shame that much of the source material's impact is lost simply because the film version came too late. At least Bridges managed to see his passion project finally realized.

Final Rating: 3.5 out of 5

"When people have the freedom to choose, they choose wrong."

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The Expendables 3 Review

Rated PG-13 (Violence including Intense Sustained Gun Battles and Fight Scenes, and for Language)

Running Time: 2 Hours & 6 Minutes

Cast-

Sylvester Stallone-Barney Ross

Jason Statham-Lee Christmas

Dolph Lundgren-Gunnar Jensen

Terry Crews-Hale Caesar

Randy Couture-Toll Road

Wesley Snipes-Doctor Death

Mel Gibson-Conrad Stonebanks

Antonio Banderas-Galgo

Kellan Lutz-John Smilee

Ronda Rousey-Luna

Victor Ortiz-Mars

Glen Powell-Thorn

Kelsey Grammer-Bonaparte

Harrison Ford-Max Drummer

Jet Li-Yin Yang

Arnold Schwarzenegger-Trench Mauser

Ivan Kostadinov-Krug

Robert Davi-Goran Vata

Directed by Patrick Hughes

Now that's what I call a Kodak moment!

Note: Screened on Wednesday, August 13, 2014 at AMC Empire 25.

"The Expendables" film series has become something of a late-summer biannual tradition. Intended to pay homage to the violent blockbuster action flicks of the 1980s and early 1990s, the first "Expendables" film made its debut back in 2010 and was a box office hit, grossing over $274.4 million worldwide despite mixed reviews (41% on Rotten Tomatoes) but the end result was…less than satisfactory to put it nicely. In fact, it was one of the worst films released that year. The dialogue was atrocious, the action scenes were damn-near incomprehensible, and the only highpoint—the much-hyped scene with Stallone, Schwarzenegger, and Willis—was so fleeting that it isn't even worth mentioning. However, the biggest issue was the tone as the film took itself way too seriously. Fortunately, 2012's "The Expendables 2" managed to set things right by playing things more tongue-in-cheek, with Schwarzenegger and Willis riffing on their action movie catchphrases, 'I'll be back!' and 'Yippee-Ki-Yay!', at one point. The sequel also had an expanded cast that included action fan-favorites Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme, who apparently went full method with his performance as villain Jean Vilain (that is seriously his character's name). Critical reception was more positive (65% on Rotten Tomatoes) and the film was a box office success like the original with its $305.4 million worldwide gross. Because everything in Hollywood comes in threes now, it was pretty much inevitable that we'd get a third "Expendables" film. The violence is hamstrung by its PG-13 rating (the previous two were rated R) but besides that, "The Expendables 3" is just more of the same, for better and for worse.

After breaking out former Expendables member 'Doctor Death' (Wesley Snipes) from an armored train bound for a military prison in fictional Denzali, the rest of the team—Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone), Lee Christmas (Jason Statham), Gunnar Jensen (Dolph Lundgren), and Toll Road (Randy Couture)—turn their attention toward Mogadishu, Somalia, where they are to stop a black market arms deal. Joined by Hale Caesar (Terry Crews), the Expendables discover that their target is none other than Conrad Stonebanks (Mel Gibson), who founded the team with Barney years ago but ended up betraying him and became a ruthless international arms dealer. When Stonebanks nearly kills Caesar in the line of duty, Barney swears revenge. Not wanting to see his remaining colleagues get hurt, he decides to relieve his old team and put together a younger, more tech-savvy group of Expendables with the help of old friend Bonaparte (Kelsey Grammer). The revamped team includes John Smilee (Kellan Lutz), Luna (Ronda Rousey), Mars (Victor Ortiz), and Thorn (Glen Powell). Using information provided by CIA Agent Max Drummer (Harrison Ford), Barney manages to track down Stonebanks' location but he soon realizes that he needs more than new recruits to stop him. 

Mel Gibson is one of the standouts amongst the newcomers to the franchise.

If I had to summarize "The Expendables 3" in one word, it would be 'tired.' This isn't a terrible film by any stretch of the word but it feels like it's just going through the motions at this point. There's a bigger cast, a PG-13 rating and…well, not much else that's new to be honest. Neither as serious as the first film nor as enjoyably campy as the second, this third installment—helmed by "Red Hill" director Patrick Hughes—ends up being a meandering affair, which isn't helped by the unnecessarily long 126-minute running time. For a film that prides itself on being a throwback to the old-school action flicks of the 1980s and early 1990s, there's a surprising lack of action here. The exciting opening scene where the Expendables (sans Caesar) rescues Wesley Snipes' Doctor Death does seem to initially promise a self-parody/self-referential tone like the previous entry (Snipes' character replies that he was jailed for 'tax evasion' when asked). However, the film then settles into draggy set-up mode where Barney, with old friend Bonaparte, looks for fresh recruits to replace his aging team after they're roundly defeated by big bad Conrad Stonebanks. Of course, the youngins get kidnapped by Stonebanks (on their first mission, no less!), forcing Barney to grab his old team, along with Arnold Schwarzenegger's Trench, to rescue them. It's all predictable stuff and I suppose you could view the plot (what little there is) as 'Stallone's commentary on how Hollywood pushed out the old-school action star in favor of younger and less entertaining variations' as Forbes' Scott Mendelson puts it but that's probably reading too much into it. If you can get through the bloated second act, the last half-hour is fairly entertaining and delivers on all of the over-the-top action that you came for. Bear in mind that the violence is largely bloodless and the editing often relies on quick cuts to accommodate the PG-13 rating. It's a damn shame because the action films of yesteryear prided themselves on their gratuitous blood and gore. Chalk it up to the hypocrisy of the MPAA: hundreds of people get killed on-screen but as long as there's no blood, it's A-Okay!

The action is fairly entertaining but it's hamstrung by the PG-13 rating.

The main draw of "The Expendables" franchise has always been its ensemble cast. The newcomers are a mixed bag and the narrative does them no favors in regards to character development (read: there is none). Hell, I didn't even know the names of Kellan Lutz, Ronda Rousey, Victor Ortiz, and Glen Powell's characters until I looked it up in the production notes! Fortunately, there are some standouts. Chief among them is Antonio Banderas, who brings quite a lot of laughs as the fast-talking, hyperactive Galgo. The actor is clearly having a ball as there's never a dull moment whenever Banderas is on-screen. Wesley Snipes and Harrison Ford (replacing Bruce Willis, who was kicked out following a salary dispute) also keeps things tongue-in-cheek with their cheesy one-liners like 'I'm the knife before Christmas' and 'Drummer's in the house!' His inclusion is puzzling but Kelsey Grammer is another fun addition as Bonaparte, a retired mercenary and old friend of Barney's. Although his character is not as 'hands-on' as I would've liked, Mel Gibson still delivers a suitably intense performance as central villain Conrad Stonebanks. One of the best scenes in the film is when Stonebanks spits on and exposes the hypocrisy of Barney's moral compass. With the exception of Stallone, the returning cast members, which include Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Jet Li, Terry Crews, and Randy Couture, are sidelined in favor of the newcomers. Li has only four lines and doesn't even do any martial arts! At least Arnold Schwarzenegger continues to be a good sport as he once again riffs on his cinematic legacy with a well-timed 'GET TO DA CHOPPA!' during the action-packed finale.

Released on August 15, 2014, "The Expendables 3" has received largely negative reviews with 35% on Rotten Tomatoes, making it the lowest-rated entry in the series. Critics noted that 'like its predecessors, [the film] offers a modicum of all-star thrills for old-school action thriller aficionados—but given all the talent assembled, it should have been a lot more fun.' Audience reception at the advance screening was rather muted as well. I noticed one person spent the majority of the film's running time checking his phone. There's also the matter of a pristine copy of the film being leaked online over three weeks ago. The last time such a thing happened was in 2009 with "X-Men Origins: Wolverine." Still, I don't see this incident cutting into ticket sales all that much. It's already projected to open less than the previous installments (about $20 million) and whatever money the film loses here, it'll make up overseas. There's not much more to be said about "The Expendables 3." If you're a fan of the first two, you'll enjoy this one but it's clear that the series is running on fumes at this point.

Final Rating: 2.5 out of 5

"I AM THE HAGUE!"

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Into the Storm Review

Rated PG-13 (Sequences of Intense Destruction and Peril, and Language including Some Sexual References)

Running Time: 1 Hour & 29 Minutes

Cast-

Richard Armitage-Gary Morris

Sarah Wayne Callies-Allison Stone

Matt Walsh-Pete Moore

Max Deacon-Donnie Morris

Nathan Kress-Trey Morris

Alycia Debnam Carey-Kaitlyn

Arlen Escarpeta-Daryl

Jeremy Sumpter-Jacob

Lee Whittaker-Lucas

Kyle Davis-Donk

Jon Reep-Reevis

Scott Lawrence-Principal Thomas Walker

David Drumm-Chester

Brandon Ruiter-Todd White

Directed by Steven Quale

"I guess this is the part where we kiss?"

Note: Screened on Thursday, July 10, 2014 at Regal E-Walk Stadium 13.

Weather-based disaster flicks have become something of a joke thanks to "Sharknado." Directed by Anthony C. Ferrante, this low-budget B-movie aired last summer on the Syfy Channel and revolves around a group of people—led by D-list celebrities Ian Ziering and Tara Reid—trying to survive…well, a bunch of vicious, man-eating sharks that are swept up into the air by a series of tornadoes caused by a freak hurricane. The premise obviously makes no freakin' sense at all but the film's inherent ridiculousness (this coming from a television channel that frequently airs crazy schlock-fests like "Sharktopus" and "Dinocroc vs. Supergator") took social media—specifically Twitter—by storm and led to a sequel being announced barely a week after the first one aired. The cheekily titled "Sharknado 2: The Second One" debuted on July 30, 2014 on the Syfy Channel like the original, ironically nine days before another weather-based disaster film, Steven Quale's "Into the Storm," was set to be released into theaters. Before being supplanted by superheroes, the disaster genre used to be a summer movie staple with films like "Independence Day," "Armageddon," "The Perfect Storm," and " The Day After Tomorrow" making millions of dollars at the box office. Remember Jan de Bont's "Twister"? It was one of the biggest hits of 1996 and had a prime May release date. Eighteen years later, the similarly-themed "Into the Storm" is being dumped into theaters in August with little fanfare. So is Quale's film as bad as critics have made it out to be? As a disaster film, "Into the Storm" is a runaway success with its visceral effects-work but the film is unfortunately let down by a paper-thin story and cardboard characters.

Veteran documentarian Pete Moore (Matt Walsh), workaholic meteorologist Allison Stone (Sarah Wayne Callies), and camara operators Daryl (Arlen Escarpeta), Jacob (Jeremy Sumpter) and Lucas (Lee Whittaker) have been working all year round trying to capture some exclusive tornado footage but their trip has unfortunately failed to yield any results. After missing a deadly tornado that claimed the lives of four teenagers in Northern Oklahoma, a visibly frustrated Pete gives Allison—who's been tracking storm activity in the area—one last chance to make it right. She suggests heading to the small rural town of Silverton, which appears to be a dead end at first when the storm cell they've been chasing dissipates. However, it suddenly strengthens, with a convergence of tornadoes eventually forming into a colossal EF5 tornado. Caught in the devastation is seventeen-year-old AV geek Donnie (Max Deacon), who ends up being trapped in a collapsed paper mill while helping his high school crush Kaitlyn (Alycia Debnam Carey) with her school project. Donnie's father, high school Vice Principal Gary Morris (Richard Armitage), desperately searches for his son with younger teenage son Trey (Nathan Kress). The two crosses paths with Pete's storm team and together they try to locate Donnie as Mother Nature lays waste to Silverton.

"So do you prefer zombies or tornadoes, Sarah?"

Steven Quale's "Into the Storm" may not feature any sharknados but it has plenty of other 'nados, namely carnadoes, planenadoes, and—wait for it—flamenadoes! Yes, you read that right as a tornado destroys a gas station at one point and sucks up all the flames from the resulting explosion, transforming itself into a fiery whirling dervish of death. From a purely technical standpoint, the film is nothing short of amazing, with Quale, who made his feature debut with 2011's "Final Destination 5," doing a fantastic job in capturing Mother Nature's indiscriminate wrath despite being saddled with an unnecessary found-footage conceit (the various money shots are just too cleanly framed to have come from the characters themselves). When the gargantuan EF5 hits during the film's final act, one character rushes into the Titus—an armor-plated, tank-like storm chasing vehicle—to secure a drainage grate and protect the rest of the group but the tornado proves to be too strong as it soon lifts the vehicle up into the 'eye' of the storm high above the clouds. This moment of calm weightlessness is by far the film's most memorable scene. In terms of spectacle, "Into the Storm" delivers.

"It's only a tornado, keep filming, son!"

Unfortunately, the characters have to go do something stupid like open their mouths. They're a largely forgettable bunch, with John Swetnam's screenplay insisting on giving each one a capital-B Backstory. High school Vice Principal Gary Morris is a widower and is emotionally distant from his two teenage sons, Donnie and Trey. Meteorologist Allison Stone is a single mother who greatly misses her young daughter. Pete is a hard-ass who only cares about getting the money shot, to the detriment of his crew's personal safety, and so on and so forth. The cast—led by Richard Armitage (Thorin Oakenshield from Peter Jackson's "The Hobbit" trilogy) and Sarah Wayne Callies (Lori Grimes from AMC's "The Walking Dead")—do the best they can with the material but the script's characterization is just so by-the-numbers and serves no other purpose than to pad out the running time while the audience twiddles their thumbs for the next big tornado to arrive. Once the tornadoes do hit, the cast become little more than props to be thrown around by on-set wind machines. As if the film's idiot index wasn't high enough, we're saddled with two drunken rednecks named Donk and Reevis (seriously, that is their names) who run around chasing storms and destroying our brain cells with their incessant hollering.

Released on August 8, 2014, "Into the Storm" has received overwhelmingly negative reviews with 21% on Rotten Tomatoes. Critics wrote that it was 'clumsily scripted…populated with forgettable characters, [and] has little to offer beyond its admittedly thrilling special effects.' While it didn't exactly flop, the film's $17.3 million weekend debut wasn't anything to write home about either. Still, it'll likely break even given the production budget was only $50 million. The best way to summarize "Into the Storm" is that it could've been a lot worse (like "Sharknado"). There's not much of a story and the characters are thinner than paper but you'll get your money's worth if you adjust your expectations accordingly.

Final Rating: 2.5 out of 5

"I've studied storms all my life. This one is bigger than any storm that has ever been."

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